My golden is 13 weeks and will not listen when I call him, he ignores me and would rather be somewhere else. I live next door to family who are always treating him petting him and playing with him., he has my partners sisters dog 9monthcollie to play with and he would rather be with them. I am so sad, I have wanted a dog all my life now I am in the situation to have one he dose not want me well thats what it feels like. I have changed my tone of voice when i call him but he still ignores me EVEN when I have a treat in my hand NOTHING WORKS, I am so dowhearted and I am having the horrid thought that I wish I never got him:-( I know the problems must lay with me as I need to teach him but I dont know where I am going wrong. Please dont get me wrong i DO love him. I just need HELP.

I expect he is a bit like your dream dog and now you feel really sad he seems to be interested in others more.

First of all, it's natural to feel a bit downhearted, but try to see a positive side: he is obviously a very friendly boy who loves other people. In this day and age, with the Dangerous Dogs Act and so on, that's not a bad thing. All that is needed really is a little "fine tuning" if you like :)

Are you friendly with the family next door?  why is he playing with them - does he get into their garden, or do they call him? It's really up to you who he plays with and maybe you could just tell them to stop. If he escapes through a fence, mend the fence and if necessary keep him on a long lead in the garden so he cannot get to them ;)

That's a start anyway; you will need to some training with him - use really tasty food treats, not boring ones from Winalot, but cooked chicken, liver, cheese etc. and train him littlel and often. Be the most exciting thing in his world and he will start to take notice of you. You may also find toys are better than food treats sometimes - find out what he likes to do best, what really rocks his boat :)

Does he like to chase, to tug, to fetch things, to play with squeaky toys, raggy toys, etc. Experiment and find out what he will sell his soul for :D

Allow him to play, but when he is tired, then is the time to call him and reward him loads for coming to you. Also take him to good puppy classes - try www.puppyschool.co.uk as the trainer will be able to help uou with your problems.

Just a start anyway, hope it helps,

Lindsay
x

Well we all live in an old converted farmhouse divided into three homes. partners sister on one side and mum and dad on the other so we have no defned areas or gardens, all bailey wants to do is stay outside with the other dog and follow everyone else and he gets treats. Its very hard because if i go some wher on the farm the other dog always follows so i never have any time alone with my puppy:-( I really want to have puppy classes but I can not find any in my area and I do not drive so I can not travel anywhere as I am in the middle of nowhere and my partner works full time. A difficult situation. I laughed at  the winalot thats what i have been giving him OOOOPPPPPS

Don't panic, it's early days yet! Could you arrange the day so that you have some private time with him, away from the family, when you can play and inter-act one-to-one?
Also it would help you a lot if you could enrol him in a really good puppy class, preferably one run by an APDT qualified trainer. This will help you a lot with understanding puppy behaviour, and also help your bonding with him. Have you been able to share your feelings with your family? Perhaps if you could they might back off a bit, and allow you your quality time?

Tell your family next door that you would rather they didn't make a fuss of him.  The big problem here it sounds like you haven't got a bond, do lots of work, just you and him, no-one else, play with him in the house, train him the recall in the house as said use bait like chicken, liver cake, anything smelly and tasty thats not an everyday treat but a training treat.

Also find a local obedience club, this will be great for you learning.

To me a bond between owner and dog is the number one thing.  just by playing and walking you build up a bond.  I have a bond with a dog I see sometimes only once aweek, with another I now only see a couple times a month, but when both of them where young I done lots of fun things with them.  One of them I am in partnership in.  I spent everyday of my summer school holiday with her, working her, playing ball with her and then a big long walk, that bond never has and never will be broken, and thats what you need to get.  then once owner and dog have a bond, they can work together and the dog can be trained.

Good luck. take it one step at a time and you will get there, his only a baby.

Are there any training classes for family? :D

Hi Isabel,

Post the link if there are - I've got two candidates :rolleyes: - even better if there's a residential course, bags being packed as soon as confirmed!

Teri :P

Hi Gemstar,

Lindsay and Carene have already given excellent advice which will hopefully help you, so try not to be downhearted ;)

I would just add that your comment about him preferring playing with the 9 month collie is something we all have to learn to work round (not specifically with that collie of course :D ) - what I'm trying to say is that ALL pups initially prefer the company of other pups - that's what they've been used to since they were born after all.   Whilst it's important to let your puppy socialise and interact with other pups and dogs perhaps restrict his exposure to this pup apart from controlled short play times a couple of times a week and he'll of course also meet other pups/dogs at supervised training classes.
Soon, honestly, you will be his WORLD :P

Regards, Teri
ps:  "Ice Queen" gave good info too - she was obviously posting as I was typing :P

And there I was thinking I might have been forgotton!!! :P :D

Read your post and it really brought me back! My boy is now three but for the first few months  I felt exactly as you do. He seemed to love everyone and everything more than me... including my cat, my son's gerbils, my sister, even the next door neighbour who he only ever saw once a month or so.
I was really upset as I had always envisaged that my dog would be totally devoted to me, some times when I would come home from the shops he would barely lift his head to see who had arived, but if my sister turned up he would almost do a back somersault.
The good news is that it has all changed. He is now my shadow and a very obedient and loyal friend. Just persevere with the one to one time, even if it is only inside your house and may seem boring to you. Take time out for grooming and cuddles on the floor and tho' you may think it is getting you nowhere (as I once did) it will help to bond. Sometimes as the mum in the house you just don't have time to be fun! with dinners to cook, walks to do, etc.
It should get better...Hope this helps,

This is what happens when you are a Mum. You are there all the time and so not a novelty. It took me years to persuade my other half to let us have another dog and when I retired from work I was looking forward to having a friend and companion and my husband gave in. He works away from home Monday - Friday and during this time she is my shadow. To my dismay come the weekend she only has eyes for my husband and I don't get a look in. On looking back to when the children were young they were exactly the same. Look on the positive side, this is your time out when you can do your own thing. A shopping spree or a trip to the hairdressers without having to worry about leaving your pup alone. Leave your pup with your folks to give yourself a treat and just see how exited a welcome you get when you come home.

My puppy was like this too when we first got her. She was not impressed by me in the slightest- I suppose as I was the one trying to teach her right from wrong, and having to tell her off while she had fun with everyone else. I got so caught up in trying to teach her things that I just got stressed and realised that in fact I wasn't having fun with her. I went to puppy classes with her and that really helped the bonding and behaviour, but what really helped was when I laid on the floor with her, played tug, crawled around on my hands and knees and got pounced on- only then did she really start to want to be with me more than others. Now, 18 months later, she's gone from not wanting to be near me and favouring everyone else, to sitting by my side for a cuddle, or if I'm not paying her full attention, jumping up on the sofa and laying on me so I can't move until I've fussed her (4.5 stones of licking puppy means I move whenever she lets me!!)

I know it seems hard at the beginning, and believe me there were more than a few occasions when I thought I'd made the wrong decision (especially when I saw her playing with and loving everyone else but me), but as the others have said, it just takes time. I still get ignored occasionally, especially if someone new comes into the house- I've lost all of her attention until our guests leave, but it's worth it when they say what a lovely dog she is :-)