Flo my eldest has just come back from a 13th Bday disco in such a mood, stroppy, stomp up the stairs sort of attitude.

I went up and have had the low down that nobody likes her and all her "best" friends seem to have dumped her ! :D

The problem is she is in a group of 4. The one girl is a smashing girl ,like her parents but them the other two are really spoilt.It is also difficult as Flo has to go to her Dads every other weekend so is really out of the friends circle for 50% of the time .

She always seems to be battling about who is her best friend ! :) I am sure it is a teenage thing but I can't remember having such a hard time when I was her age !

Lucy
xx

Time has lent you rose tinted specs Lucy. Satans Filly has made it to another birthday today, shes 13. The problem is girls like to stir it and little tale bearers love to tell one that her best frined is talking about her to split em up. Why can't they just bash it out like boys? SF has been having a hard time since Morse died and is acting out - squaring up to teachers and parents, taking war to the enemy's house and seeing the local " hard" men ( aged 14). The minute my backs turned shes out the house going for trouble big time. The little horrors who say theyre her pals love to wind her up, watch her plunge into trouble then squeal like piggies " It wasnt me, officer/Miss/Mum, it was SF!" Just be grateful its friends the now.. BTW SF is now being signed up into the cadet force to keep her out of mischief and employ her aggression constructively, and helping coach a primary football team to give her less time to worry about Mr Loverman.

One of my daughters is 13 in January and I hear this all the time Lucy. One minute, she's best mates with her little group of friends, then they've had a huge fall out, and no one likes her :(

I have a 15yr old son Lorelei, and he's the same as SF. He is on his last warning at school for calling a teacher a black pr*ck and a d*ckhead :(

....and he's in the Marine cadets, school rugby team and a football team

Well my son is on suspension for similar, told a teacher she needed a facelift !

Brainless.

Thing is, no matter how many times I've warned my son about his behaviour at school, it seems to fall on deaf ears :( He was removed from 2 of his mock exams the other day for talking in them :(

Yep most of the time you may as well talk to a brick wall, and they totally fail to see that their behaviour is totally unreasonable.  We wouldn't have dreamed of saying boo to our teachers, but we could still get caned then.

doG no, we wouldn't. I remember being threatened with the cane because I back chatted a teacher. Just the thought of it put the fear of god into me

My daughter recetnly admitted that caning would have prevented her from doing most of what she did at schook, including not attenfing.  It was knowing no one could do anything to stop her that let her get away with it.

Lwsies if you remeber I have had a terrible 3 years with my now 17 year old.  she left school this summer with practically no exams, as she had spent last 3 years truanting despite all the talkings to and tears and problems this gave me with school authorities.  She was running about to all hours totally out of control, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

She has been going steady (showing my age) with a lad she has been freinds with for years, since last Spring, and he has been a steqadying influence.  She started a Job for a Company that does Readers offers holidays, as a reservationist, on 3 months trial at the moment, but seems to be enjoying it.

Since leaving school it has taken the pressure off our relationship, and we get on much better now as more or less equals.  She was a prime mover in my weight loss program, especially as she was working Part time in the Green Grocers :D

I think the hardes thing about teens is we are responsible for them, but if they really want to kick off there is nothing we can do to stop them.

Now getting problems with ehr nearly 14 year old brother, attutude to school and teachers, here we go again!!!!

The whole peer pressure thing is just awful and girls are absolutely evil to each other. I have a 13 year old and she is not too bad, but by god is she stubborn.  When I broke my leg earlier this year it was a real shock for her as she suddenly had to do a lot more. When she gets upset etc and starts to shout, I say "you are obviously upset, and I can't talk to you like this, when you've finished the shouting (or whatever) then we can talk. It is surprising how quickly she calmes down. No problems with school, she is quite a high achiever and puts the hours in.

I do have an advantage (well sometimes) as I am counsellor. I know so many people in the police force, prison service, mental health etc that she often says "If I was to get into trouble my mum would know withing minutes" - small Island you see.

Teenagers have lots of issues these days, and they are so cruel to each other.

Oldest daughter is now 29 but used to be DREADFUL when she was a teenager. Youngst daughter is 14 and, mostly, she is lovely :) She does have her moments but they are few and far between.....I sometimes wonder if I over reacted with older daughter and that made her worse??

:)

I've been lucky with my, now, 19 year old :) At home she has been awful - strops, arguments, slammed doors etc etc - but out of the house she is an angel - everybody (including her old teachers) thinks she is wonderful :D :D Why didn't we get any of that at home ????? Now she is away at Uni I really miss her - roll on next Saturday when she comes home :)

Daisy

Well thank goodness Im not the only one with a "high drive" teen. SF will come out of it OK ( if she lives that long) as long as I can contain the damage. Shes determined, clever, brave and loyal to her friends. Who clearly dont deserve her. Maybe extra curricular activities wont affect her attitude, but they will give her less time to get into bother. Woflie, I do feel for your lad. Some male teachers can be very cruel to boys this age and when they get a testosterone fuelled answer back, its "unacceptable attitude". Good teachers for this age group are worth their weight in gold. 

Patience ladies, patience!!!:D :D :D

As one who has the grey hairs that appear rapidly with teenagers - things DO get better in the end - and as Abbysmum said in another thread - grandchildren are your reward for not killing your own children!!

Just hang in there - you are not the only one with teenagers who cause you grief - as Daisy says, even the "best behaved" outside can behave like screaming banshees/Ozzy Bsborne's kids at home!!!

Margot (who really does deserve 4 medals, and who is known to have said at the school, when called in to discuss No 4's behaviour for the umpteenth time - if he had been the 1st child, he would have been an only child :D !

I'm a glutton for punishment - 25 hormonal 10/11 year olds are enough for anyone, but other people's kids I can deal with! The problem starts with my own 11 and 13 year old daughters at home. One is strop queen - all woe is me and everybody hates me, the other is, well, shall we say "feisty"! Last week had a call from school to say she had hit a lad and broken his glasses. That said, he is known as a pain in the "youknowwhat" by all and sundry, and just happened to pick on the wrong one this time! Luckily, like Daisy, I am usually the one who bears the brunt of the teenage strops, whereas in school they are perfect pupils, so daughter 2 was given the benefit of the doubt and got off with a warning. Quote for the week in our house is "I'm sorry, Mrs Croft, I didn't mean to break his glasses, I was aiming for his head!"

As for the friendship thing, Lucy. I have to agree with you. I can't ever remember it being as bad as this - and I reckon it lasts longer now too. They seem to still be stroppy teenagers at an age when we were all out working for a living! Oh well, only another 8 years to go!

I do have to agree with you Lokis mum. I also have and 18 yr old and she had her fare share of problems not only with me, but  at school too. There was times that I could of quiet happily of strangled her.

She's now a strong, level headed woman, and our relationship has become stronger as a result :)

One of the problems my son has with this teacher is that he can't understand him. The teacher doesn't speak English incredibly clearly, and there's times I've had problems understanding him.

The teacher he verbally abused teaches my son Science. A subject my son used to excel in. Now his grades in this subject are starting to fall and my son is putting it down to the fact that he can't understand the man.

I'm not condoning my son's behaviour, he isn't brought up to be racist, sexist or any other 'ist', and he was man enough to admit to his head of year that he was 'out of order', but I think some of it could of been down to frustration.

I just hope that my son can learn to curb his tongue long enough to get through to his final exams next year :(

Perhaps your son is frustrated by his lack of achievement in the subject. My daughter was doing brilliantly in german, and then she had a teacher change, in fact she has two teachers german and one seems to be very difficult. She suddenly started getting much lower grades - she was really annoyed. The teacher in question (and I do admire most of them), shouts his way thought each class, and would not allow the pupils to take notes. When I questions him he was very defensive of his position. She loved German, now she is not interested, and to some extent the teacher has demotived her. Trying to tell a teenager to look beyond the teacher is very difficult.

to the original poster, I fully sympathise!!!  I have 6 kids in total (due to remarriage) 5 girls and 1 boy. The 5 girls are SOS (spawn of satan) 11,13,14,17 and 18. You can imagine here cant you???  At the moment I feel grateful for small mercies...................the son aged 12   LOL

Teachers are so quick to blame the children for not learning, not many actually look at their own behaviour/teaching to find the problem :(  and lets face it they're not all talented teachers.  There's a world of difference between someone who's very highly qualified and someone who's a talented teacher - they aren't always one and the same :(   and sadly I know a few teachers who aren't capable of teaching anyone anything :( :(      I'm actually considering teaching Trollboy myself when it comes to secondary school, I have so little confidence in the teaching staff in the local secondaries :( :(

My children have both found that same sex friendships don't seem to work, Trollgirl has learned not to trust females after years of bullying and catty 'friends' - she has loads of male friends and only a few female friends, little Trollboy is finding the girls easier to get along with than most of the boys in his class :(

And some teachers find it incredibly frustrating trying to teach kids who have had no discipline in their lives, ever, don't want to learn and are out to distrupt the whole class of 25 just for their own pleasure. (not talking your sprog here...as I don't know him...just a generalization in defence of the poor teachers. After all, reading the list above, not many parents find it easy to cope with ONE child, how many of you can cope with 25 at once ??)

(Two sides to every story)

Melody - married to a secondary school teacher

Friends who are teachers say that often they feel like glorified baby-sitters and get little or no backing (in fact often the opposite) from parents :( Then the parents have the gall to complain that their children aren't doing well :(

Daisy

If the parents ONLY complained it wouldn't be as bad...parents AND children are verbally and physically abusive sometimes :(

Absolutely Melody.

Sadly - fact of life for many teachers is that they have a class whose achievement as a whole is often dragged down by one or two. Even in primary schools we find this. If I could have transferred the time and energy I've spent on disruptive kids over the past 9 years into the average kids (the high fliers will get there anyway, but not as far as they might have done otherwise) it would be fantastic. That's not to mention the often dangerous situations our kids can be in, eg. when little Johnny (or whoever) decides it's a good idea to run across a room waving a pair of scissors and saying he wants to kill someone.

Kids like this often need help, and I agree there are some pretty awful teachers out there still who don't give a monkey's, God knows I've worked with a few - but the silent and often suffering majority of kids deserve a chance too, especially those that don't have the benefit of home support.

AND (yes - on a rant now, sorry) how many other professions have to put up with untrained people telling them how to do it?!!!! Imagine arguing with a car mechanic over which part he should put in, or telling a decorator he's using the wrong paintbrush?
AAAGGGHHH!!!
And the first person to say "Well at least you get all those holidays" better watch out!! :-D

Tracy
(teacher - can't you guess, and married to secondary teacher)

By gum...don't you NEED those holidays?? I know hubby is completely stressed out and tired out at the end of every term!

Stressed?
Me?
Whatever gave you that idea Melody :)?

Not that I had to spend half an hour this morning reasoning with a very tearful and irate Mum that the six-foot wide rock hard angel wings (no exaggeration) she has spent two weeks making are going to make it very difficult for her daughter to dance, not to mention are in serious danger of taking someone else's eye out or knocking them off the 10 foot wide stage! Then everyone forgot their lines in the dress rehearsal, and little Jack (4 years old) tried to do a runner out of the church door because he wanted to be a donkey, not a cow.

And yes - the holidays are very welcome, but sadly in primary we end up spending half of them in school clearing up and getting ready for next term; a fact lost on my OH, and the source of countless arguments about our differing workloads and my poor time management!

Roll on next Tuesday!

:p :p I am a lunchtime supervisor and a register collector at a secondary school as well ;) :D

Mayhem :p :p

Oh girls can always be best friends one minuet, enemies the next, have a stromp and a moan and cry....then everythings OK again!

I had a problem when I was about 12-14 with some of my friends, this was the time when I started having home lunches, meaning I was never in school at lunch time, girls being girls thought it ment I was the perfect person to bitch about, when it got back to me I had a big falling out with the group and haven't spoken to half of them since (even though I'm in 6th form with them!)  It seems to be the people who don't spend 24/7 with mates unfortantly don't seem to have easiest life (just in my experiance!)

just be there for your daughter but let her sort things out herself!  My what being a young teenager was like!

:D :D :D  lol @ "old" Ice Queen!!!!

Mind you - she's speaking from the other end of our complaints - and it's so good to see the other perspective .....Happy 17th birthday on 31st - Roxanne!!!! - or is it on the 1st of the 1st????

Margot

We should start another thread on Inspirational Teachers. My English teacher was one who encouraged us all to do our best and succeeded in getting the remedial group to enjoy Shakespeare. My kids have had some really excellent teachers - Gothboys Technical teacher was a saint in human form who calmed very angry boys long enough for them to achieve something for the first time in their lives. Hes retired now the dear man, and practical teachers like him are in very short supply now....

My husband had a teacher in post-war East-end of London school. He had been an Army fitness instructor. If there was any trouble in the class he would pick up a desk and throw it at the boy - he certainly had their respect (and I'm not joking)

Daisy

Just last week my 12 year old forged my name so she could go to the store at lunch time ..., she stays at school for lunch... The lil bratt. Now she lied even when asked about the truth and is punished at the kitchen table with nothing but her work... Good time to cause she has to brush up on her math as she cannot even multiply and divide all that good, if at all.

Reading these posts all I can say is thank goodness I wasn't 'blessed' in the reproductive department ! ;)

OMG dollface! I used to do that to get out of PE lessons! The effects of it are still showing in the size of my thighs!

Well she has had thoughts since our post Disco discussion on the situation and has come up with some well thought out reasons why it is happening. She has told me she is going to change the way she thinks about how they all are in the scheme of things and hopefully will not let it get to her in future ! :)

I think my talk helped :)

Thanks for all your thoughts and points on this :)

Lucy

Margot, It's the 1st :D  Coventry LKA on my birthday, 1st adult handling class (first adult handling qulifiers for the first adult semi-finals!)

Lucy, it's good to hear it's all sorted.  Just remember girls will be stroppy and moody and will use any minor issue to sulk and strop! :D (BTW I'm not out of that stage at 16 ;) good luck!)

LOL..... I never have done that myself, so was very surprised that my daughter did... Hope she has learned her lesson...