Why is the donation of eggs such a bad thing?  I dont happen to think it is, the gift of life is the greatest gift of all :)

Imagine so many of you on this board that have children, well imagine you couldnt, what then?  Its unfair to judge people that are trying to concieve, but cannot until you have walked a mile in their shoes....

The suffering it must cause knowing you cannot have children for "whatever" reason, must be unbearable for some, and my heart truly goes out to them :(

Believe me, MollMoo, I've walked several marathons in those shoes.

I tried for almost 20 years to have children. But I simply wasn't prepared to go to any lengths, and go against what I believed, just so I could have what I wanted.

That, of course, is your choice, Joyce. Nobody's suggesting making it compulsory! Just enabling other people to have a choice.

My brother in law and his wife decided to not go down the IVF route as well, a personal choice for them. They have managed to adopt a lovely baby boy now. But another brother in law and his wife DID go for IVF and have a lovely daughter ...I wouldn't be the one to say they shouldn't have the choice ;)

Perhaps if there were more babies available for adoption, as there were several decades ago, there might not be so much need for IVF? Just a thought.

Yes JG ..agreed...but then we get into the whole issue of you know what, don't we? ;)

Yes ... probably best not to go there. ;)

The "suffering" of those who cannot have children, IMHO pales into insignificance to those parents who are told their children have a terminal illness, or who open a door to a policeman carrying the news their child has been killed etc etc.

I don't think many of us ARE judging the routes others choose, we are just expressing our personal views and exerting our rights NOT to choose to donate eggs; for whatever reason. 

Unfair?  Life unfortunately often is!

IMHO eggs and/or children are not "commodites" to be bartered; they are exactly that, a "gift" not a "right"; some people are lucky enough to receive these gifts; others are not.

And so women can make a *gift* of their eggs to another woman then ;)

Absolutely Melodysk, if they WANT to ;)

But I thought that was the whole point of the original question??

I am baffled now

Were we ever talking about MAKING women give their eggs up?

I believe the original post said........

............"Anyone of the same mind (or not !) ?"

And we have all said whether or not we are of the same mind and if so/not perhaps why!

Personally I could not care less what people do with/to their own eggs or bodies.

It is only mine that I am concerned about. :)

"the world only had ivf from 1977 and we got that far without it "

The world had a lot less things then than we have now, look at treatments for cancers etc

I know you are going to say that it is not the samething, but really when you think about it seriously how is it not??

IF you are saying that nature is the way to make children then is that not the same as saying we should not save the ill and let nature and Gods way take them also... NO

We are giving the ability to do things for a reason.  Self distruct maybe that that is life and evolution. :-))

Yes, katy, I'm glad we share the same views on this.

I know it's a serious subject but the thought of the bone marrow thinking it might have a chance with your son really made me smile :)

The person who receives it might though! ;)

well its not quite so disturbing as half brothers and sisters marrying is it. i have no problem with ivf but i think i am 100% sure that if i had needed ivf i would of only done so if i could of used my own eggs as that would be the only way of having my own child. all of my children have so many similarities to all members of my family and its what bonds families not the only thing i admit but some of the things that are genetic are amazing. all of my kids did things as babies that either me or my husband did as babies so its not a copied or learned behaviour its a genetic thing and i wouldnt of wanted to miss that.

"only done so if i could of used my own eggs as that would be the only way of having my own child. all of my children have so many similarities to all members of my family and its what bonds families not the only thing i admit but some of the things that are genetic are amazing"  .

I am pretty sure that if in the childless situation you may not feel quite the same.  :-)

Most of the thing people see their babies do half the nations babies do it honestly.

kids can be brought up not genetically related and do things so similar you would never question it.   While genetics do come it to it without a doubt.. NOT as much as people often think.   Think of accents.  How quickly do you pick up a particular areas accent. We adopt what is around us and things from the people that raise us eveb school freinds.  I never sucked my thumb till I was 4 and at nursery, I picked it up from another youngster.   You get 100% genetic siblings and you would never even think there were related. I have a twin sister and you would never even think we were cousins never mind twins ;-)

'I am pretty sure that if in the childless situation you may not feel quite the same'

A lot of childless couples do feel the same, though, Blue.
We're not all so desperate that we would want to raise another woman's child.

>We're not all so desperate that we would want to raise another woman's child.

That rather rules out adoption too. Lucky you're not faced with step-children then, isn't it? Where would they be sent to live?

At least IVF, sperm or egg donation results in a child which is genetically the child of one partner involved.

Jeangenie - you know full well that I was responding to Blue's comments about childless couples and egg donation (this is what the thread is all about after all).  I don't know why the subject of adoption keeps coming up - that's an entirely different area.  Adoption focuses on the needs of the child not the parents (as with egg and sperm donation).

Joyce, you were the one who raised the point about not wishing to raise another woman's child. Whether by fostering, adoption, IVF, or gamete donation, there is little difference.

I guarantee that any child I grew in my womb, whether or not s/he carried any of my genes, would be my child. Not another woman's.

I'll say it again - I raised it in context with the donating of eggs.  And if you can't understand the difference between that and adoption, fostering etc. there is really very little point in continuing this line of the debate.....

I think JGs point is (and she can correct me if I am wrong) that all meathods mentioned end up with someone else bringing up, technically, *you* child. Ergo there is no difference.

Exactly, Melody. :)

Very many people would much rather have been raised by almost anyone other than their natural parents. Being the genetic parent doesn't automatically make the best, or even a good, parent. But the quality of parenting is another issue.

"A lot of childless couples do feel the same, though, Blue.
We're not all so desperate that we would want to raise another woman's child."  S

ometimes the ones we have we don't want to at times ;-)))

Joking apart Joyce,

It is just as well we don't all share the same view as there are thousands of unwanted children fostered and adopted by people who ARE prepared to raise another woman's child.

Joyce ,I have not personally been touch with a childless life but I do know a few who have and I personally do not know one who has accepted it from day one that they will be childless. One or two after years and years of trying accept it only because they have to , some I know never accept it.  I know you say you do but of the 3-4 childless people I have known NONE have. They feel the have a hole in their lifes.

this debate is going all over the place!  if people adopt i admire them immensely i wish i had the room and the finances and i may well consider it myself. what i have been debating is the moral issue of donating eggs anonymousley.  any child who was adopted would have a choice as to whether to trace their biological parents but a child born of egg donation would have that natural right taken away from them. we have choices as to whether adopt/try ivf/ or accept our lot the child which comes from this has no choice it is put in the situation and has to live with the effects forever

>any child who was adopted would have a choice as to whether to trace their biological parents but a child born of egg donation would have that natural right taken away from them.

This has always been the case in sperm donation, but there are debates taking place about whether this should be changed. If so, it will apply to ovum donation too.