You know you are over 30 when.....

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Topic Other Boards / Foo / You know you are over 30 when.....

By Lokis mum [gb]

Date 11.11.04 10:30 UTC

SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 30:-

>
> 1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
>
> 2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than
> going clubbing.
>
> 3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and
> start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
>
> 4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the
> property section.
>
> 5. You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.
>
> 6. All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 50, he's only 50.
>
> 7. Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.
>
> 8. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep
> them because they'll be all right for the garden.
>
> 9. You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on
> it.
>
> 10. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls
> out of the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and
> money saving properties of a plastic winter cover for your
> garden bench and an electronic mole repellent for the lawn.
> Not to mention the plastic man for the car to deter would-be thieves.
>
> 11. You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.
>
> 12. Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you
> want to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
>
> 13. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a
> Wallace and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they
> Are for your child.
>
> 14. Pop music all starts to sound crap.
>
> 15. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't
> have any pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice
> half-bottle of house white.
>
> 16. You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly
> furniture.
>
> 17. You always have enough milk in.
>
> 18. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to
> go clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and
> franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have
>
> 19. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen ! upon
> C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
>
> 20. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
>
> 21. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.
>
> 22. You wish you had a shed.
>
> 23. You have a shed.
>
> 24. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like
> that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and
> "Of course, in my day...."
>
> 25. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy
> Vine has some really interesting guests on.
>
> 26. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off
> the bus, you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.
>
> 27. When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their
> hanging baskets
>
> 28. You come face to face with your own mortality for the first
> time, and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation
> that you are but passing through this life and if you don't settle
> down soon and have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're
> old and frail and incontinent and you can't go on p**sing your life up
> against a wall forever and think of how many brain cells you're
> destroying every time a swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at
> that, a full set of stainless steel saucepans for 99 quid, they cost
> as much as 35 each if you buy them separately, and you get a milk pan
> thrown in,