Hi everyone. My puppy has already grown into an almost full sized shephard. She is super protective of our family, especially when our 6 months old son is near her. Just recently my husband's x brought their daughter into the States, we have not seen her for 2 years and of course our Marta does not know her either. I told my husband that introducing his daughter to our dog the first time is not a good idea and we should close her in our bedroom, but he did not listen. I raised two GSDs and he has no clue how to handle dogs, so he lets her out and the dog of course starts barking at his daughter (Marta would never attack any one unless I tell her, so she is barking and at the same time trying to sniff his daughter, I told her to sit still and not to move untill Marta gets accustomed to her smell but what can an 8 year old do???), and he gets nervous, trying to pull Marta away from his daughter, the dog gets nervous too thinking that his daughter is doing something bad to my husband, I mean it is whole bizzare, his daughter is climbing up the couch which makes Marta even angrier or more scared (our dog is fine with my niece who plays with Marta pretty agressivly, I mean they become two little rascals when they play, everything "flies" in our house when they play, and Marta has never scared my niece, ever!!!). But THIS has happened already and nothing you can do about it, now his x is starting to withhold visitations because she says that the kid is afraid of the dog (long story short: his x is an aweful person, has problems with law, and my husband started sueing her for taking the child out of the country and breaking the agreement of their divorce and interfering with visitation rights, the woman is on the edge of losing her custody of the kid since she has some problems with the law, and now she is using Marta as an excuse to withhold visitatin again). So what do we do now? We do want his daughter to live us. Should we all go for a walk and let his daughter play with Marta outside. She does not mind children who throw tennis balls to her and she becomes friends with them pretty fast. But in the house she is super protective of us all. Any suggestions? Please....

What about getting a piece of your stepdaughters clothing and telling her to wear it for a while and get her smell on it and let the dog get used to that. This way he will be more familiar with her smell and she will be less like a stranger to him.

sarah xxxx

I've missed how old Marta is, but one thing i would mention is to not encourage any protective behaviour as, believe me, if it is under the  surface it will certainly arise if there is ever a need. It's best to have a well socialised dog who will ideally accept visitors to the house :)

It may be that the idea of playing with Marta will help her accept the child if that is a game she likes, and yes, going on walks etc. Using gates in the house can mean that she can be controlled and it will make things easier all round. The dog will also take her cue from the owners and if they are nervous she will be too. If she likes food treats then they can be used to help her associate the presence of the stepdaughter with good things and not a threat.

Lindsay
X

It sounds to me like your dog is way, over protective...over the top. My Doberman would never act that way with someone the I let in the house. He'd watch them quietly for about 2 or 3 minutes and then probably take them a toy or put his chin on their lap. So, I'm wondering how much socialization your dog had and how much with kids?

I'd be very careful if I were you. This does not sound good. Can you practice more with having people over to your house and have them bring treats to give the dog? Try saturating her with good experiences, showing her what's normal and pleasant about having guests. She should be able to discern much, much better between your friends or even strangers that you're friendly to and bad guys.

Carrie

I agree with lindsay why dont you get you stepdaughter to make friends with marter in the park and take some treats with her and play some games. This way like lindsay say she will think that your stepdaughter is someone that plays nice games and give nice treats. Good luck....:)

sarah xxxx

Hi all, thanks, I already contacted our vet who bred sometime ago GSDs and he suggested one of his friends who is a retired trainer of german shephards and dobermans. I will go see him work in a group of four dogs and their owners and he wants to see our dog and tell us what to expet. I had some friends over today, and told them to sit still while Marta sniffed them she barked at them first but then really liked them, even started bringing her toys to them to play with her, but still kept a watch on the baby and them. Weird she would always lie between the baby and my guests. We'll see how this new training goes. Thanks for your suggestion we will definately try that too.
Alina D.

I'm making some assumptions here, so please forgive me if any are wrong....

You have a young stepdaughter who hardly knows you all as a family due to separation. She has been brought to meet the family with a view to moving in with you. In these circumstances I would imagine it would be very natural for her to be very nervous and apprehensive even without the dog being brought in.

Possibly, your step-daughter may have little experience of large dogs. Even the most friendly GSDs can be quite intimidating to a stranger, so it is understandable that the sight of an apparantly aggressive one will terrify her. This fear has wound up your, already 'wired-up' dog.

I think this situation would be aided by working with your step-daughter as well as the dog. Try and build up a strong relationship with her, so that she knows and trusts you. Then perhaps you could introduce her to some calm, large dogs so that she can build up confidence around strange dogs. I would imagine that by building up the childs trust and confidence it will be much easier to introduce her to your dog. It is much easier introducing two of any species, if at least one of them is calm and confident.

Good luck!

I quite agree

I would sit down & have a good chat with stepdaughter about her getting to know your dog. GSDs have a great affinity with children & it would be very sad if she lost out on this. Even better let her read some of the posts on here to show that you want her involved with your GSD & that she is welcome in your home & that you want her to see it as a home. It may help her relax & this will make your dog more relaxed with her as well

How about when she is with you she takes over feeding your dog. Spllit up ber meals into say three smaller ones & then your GSd will learn to look to your Step daughter for reward(ie the food)/ Does your GSD have a special toy ? if so make sure that your Step daughter is the one who plays with her with it

My GSD is very very friendly(overly so)& I make sure everyone is sitting down before she can comein & greet them. My GSD is a rescue who had no manners & training when she came to us at 8 months & she is a very big girl.

Do you go to any training classes with her ? Not one to one but where there are a lot of dogs, Please be very careful of a trainer who has"retired"& learnt how to train dogs a while ago. Training years ago was quite heacy handed & there are still a few trainers that have not moved forward

Hi Havoc, I totaly agree with you. She did mention that where she lived (when she lived outside the country) there was a boxer who fought other dogs and it was terrifying for her. And I also told my husband not to show Marta to his daughter the first time. It was enough overwhelming for her to meet her possibly new family, inluding her new half brother. But as soon as the dog was taken away she became herself again, but did worry about Marta getting out. My husband suggested taking our neighboors dog, a retriever who is a friend of everyone in the block, she would always lay down to greet people and never ever bark. So perhaps we can show their dog to my husbands daughter and Marta is more relaxed when she sees people with other dogs. Marta is 10 months old by the way.

I agree that getting the little girl to calm down is a good idea. And it's good that in particular the dog and she get use to eachother. But it's also vitally important to get the dog use to guests in general...lots of them. That way she can apply her learned socialization to many situations.

My Dobe was heavily socialized. (not as well to kids) It is apparent that he is not as comfortable around certain individuals as others. He shows more stand offishness with some people. You can't like everyone, right? But because he has learned that anyone I am Ok with, that I let in, that I'm friendly with must be all right. (at least for the time being) He may still watch. (And he really watches me too, my mood.) But there is no aggression or flying off the handle. He assesses things a lot before he reacts. I think this is what your aim should be. If so, you want to try and get him to generalize a little more as well as in particular...your stepdaughter. Good luck.

Oh...and the friendly Lab....that often works to teach the other dog the ropes.

Carrie

When my little girl was scared of dogs, we found the best thing to do was not to push her to meet even nice friendly dogs. This was hard when kind dog owners suggested it! Her fiear lessened when she was taught to interpret the dogs language eg the bowing means play with me please, and low tail wagging is saying hello. She was allowed to keep a distance from the dogs until her confidence grew. Now I appreciate this will be difficult for you when the little girl has to share a house with your dogs, but maybe you could just think about it and take things at your stepdaughters pace? Incidentally my daughters fear was the reason I didnt have a dog for so long, but now she is  sensible and confident with dogs of all sizes and is planning on having her own dog. The other day she was helping a neighbour with her Rottweiler litter. :) HTH.

When I was doing school visits with my dogs(they were PAT dogs) If there were any children with a fear of dogs we used to have a good chat about the dogs & with the help of trained counsellors found out what the child was frignhtened of

Then we started with the children walking past the classroom where the dog was & if they wanted to they could look at the dog through the glass & at a pace set by the child they got closer to the dog until eventually they were able to be in the room & then near the dog & eventually touching the dog.

I used a very calm cavalier & I think one of the reasons it worked so well was that he had lovely long ears, & he ignored people until they touched him.

It can take a long time but with an older child who will be able to express any fears etc better than a young child it may be easier

I would maybe take your step daughter out for a treat & get into a discussion as to what she is frightened of. Maybe it's just she is not used to a lively large dog or has been frightened by one It is worth asking her & maybe telling her about something that you are frightened of & lets face it we are all frightened of something(mine is an totally irrational fear of manmade heights like very tall buildings daft areally s I used to do rock climbing when I was a student & climbed the Old Man of Hoy)

If your shepherd is only protective in the house and around your property you could try to introduce your husband's daughter to her outside the area Marta considers her own.  Have Marta meet her, spend a few minutes with her, and then casually all of you walk into the house. 

And of course, work to change your dog's reaction to strangers.

Stacey