i hope someone can help!
myself and my partener have been living together for a year, my partener had a lovely setter, she died 3 months ago, i surprised him with a new puppy, i wanted one too! But he hates the new pup, he is quite mean to it, shouting at it, throwing things at it, i know hes upset about the loss of his setter, but surely its not right to take it out on this one, was i wrong to surprise him!?? what do i do!?

Personally I think it may have been too soon for a new pup!  Your partner obviously hasn't got over losing his setter and isn't ready for another, maybe he sees the pup as a replacement and can't accept it!

If the pup is getting abuse (no matter how minor) maybe you would be better finding it a new home before the dog is emotionally scarred, it's not fair on the poor pup!

Hi guest
If i was you i would get back in contact with the breeder immediatley and ask them if they can take the pup back, as im sure if i sold a pup and thought it was being treated in such a way i would be knocking on their door to remove the puppy from that situation, shouting and throwing things at a young puppy isnt normal nor is it going to do the puppy any good in the long term. please please get in contact with breeders im sure they should be able to re home him.

I'd tell my partner its MY pup now and no pup deserves to have things thrown at him or be yelled at and losing a dog 3 months ago is no excuse. If he doesn't want the pup he should say! You look after the pup until you decide what to do. His behaviour is inexcusable.

Sorry but I would get rid of partner sounds like a bully. even if he is still sad over loss of last dog its no excuse to be cruel.

no matter how crap your partner feels its no excuse to be mean to a baby :(

I would reconsider my relationship if he doesnt care about others feelings at the expense of his own . The word selfish and cruel spring to mind

Other words spring to my mind lel, what's with all these people on here who are either bullying pups, moaning about the way they look etc, they all need to grow up, and quickly!!:(

OMG!!! Poor puppy.

I would chuck partner out. There is NO excuse for bullying a puppy!

Do you love this little pupupy and do you want to keep it? If not then you should contact whoever you bought it from, but if you love it, Ii would tell partner to either shape up or ship  out (I think that's how its said anyway:-))

Personally I would keep the puppy:-)

well said jeanette!!!:)

If this guy can treat a poor little defenceless puppy like this what kind of father would he make in the future if you decide to go down that road?
I think you need to  rehome the little one or send him back to the breeder the sooner the better.
I would also be having serious doubts about what kind of person you are living with.
Cruelty to defencless animals is unacceptable no matter what the circumstances.
If you love the little one, do the right thing.

I suggest (as much as id like to say tell your partner to f off) that you sit him down and ask him WHAT he thinks he will achieve by his behaviour.

By being nasty to the puppy, he is being immature. It doesnt bode well for the future, and not just for the pup (if he cant cope with this, then what else cant he handle?)

Explain that the pup isnt to blame for not being his previous dog, and if he HAS to take it out on anyone, then he should be taking it out on you.

Yes, it WAS a stupid thing to do, getting a pup as a surprise, however, either your partner accepts the pup and behaves himself, or you choose, pup or partner (and i know which one ID pick!)

Em

When my beloved old dog died it took me 5 years before I was ready to have another one. If someone had presented me with a 'replacement', especially one I hadn't chosen myself, I would have really resented it - the pup, and the insensitivity of the person who gave it to me.

Although I would not have been unkind to the pup, I certainly wouldn't have wanted it near me if I could avoid it.

This pup is yours, not your partner's. If you don't want it, take it back to the breeder straight away, and apologise to your partner for your thoughtlessness.

I lost my 19 yeat old just 2 weeks ago.I loved her more than anything in the world,but I would love my OH to surprize me with a pup. we are all different. she thought she was helping. the main thing is that the pups ok.IF her partner is so against the pup he could just stay out of its way or ask her to rehome it. he is a bully! heart broken or not he has not right to hurt the puppy.

I agree Hooch. We ARE all different. I was crushed when my GSD was gone. I couldn't stand to not have a dog to love so within 2 months I found my Lab. I did want another breed and another sex so as not to be apt to compare them. But with that sweet little puppy, so innocent. There was no way I could resent the pup. She had nothing to do with the natural loss of my former dog. She was a fresh, new life just discovering the world. She diverted my attention to her and my affection. She did not replace my other dog. No one could ever replace someone else. But when you really love dogs, you just keep making more room in your heart. Supply and demand. LOL. But some people need more time to grieve and everyone grieves in a different way....their own way.

So, it would have been best to discuss getting a new pup with your OH first. But, live and learn. Hopefully the breeder can find a new home for this poor little innocent thing. Good luck. Or...just one more thought. If I had "another half" and he treated animals that way, he'd be long gone out of my life. Anyone who treats an animal like that.....hmmmm, would you want to raise children together? How does he treat people, children and adults? Sorry if that's offensive....just my opinion if it were me in your shoes.

Carrie

Personally I would be horrified if anyone bought me a puppy at any time, even I wanted another dog! I would want to choose the breed, sex, I am particular about the age I would want it, I would want to meet the mother myself (both parents if possible), I'd want to see for myself proof of health tests. If I chose a rescue dog I'd want to meet it and find out as much about it as possible before making that important decision.

If I had recently lost my dog I would be devastated to think that my partner/any close friend would be so insensitive as to buy a replacement. Having said that I would never treat the unwanted puppy in such a way as the guest's other half is doing.

Guest - if you wanted the pup yourself then that is quite reasonable, however I think you should have told your other half that you were considering buying a pup (not as a replacement) for yourself in order to prepare him and agree on an acceptable time limit, but what is done is done.

If I had found out that my partner was so cruel to any animal I would have to get rid of him immediately. As someone else mentioned, I think you need to decide if you want to be with the pup or your partner. If you choose your partner then you should take the puppy back to its breeder and explain the situation.

If anyone does want to buy a puppy as a gift that is fine (there is a quote somewhere about whoever said money can't buy happiness had forgotten about dogs/puppies). But I think that the gift should be offered and the owner-to-be should be allowed to make all decisions when choosing a puppy - of course gift-buyer can offer an opinion and visit litters too, maybe helping make the final decision.

HAve to say I agree with Jeangenie on this one.  Not necessarily about the time difference, but that is down to the individual no one but the person involved can gauge the timescales that appropriate for them.

Timely reminder perhaps for anyone thinking of "surprising" anyone, at any time, with a puppy for a present.

The impact obviously did not reflect the intent and that is what we all have to bear in mind in any situation.

However of course I would never excuse deliberate unkindness to a living thing.

Yeah.....LOL, a gift of an animal for me would be the $1000.00 - $1,200.00 to buy it. That would be great. Thank you very much and now go away and let me check out the dogs. LOL.

Carrie

Carrie

That is exactly what I meant! I might let that person come with me and make suggestions but I'd make the decision which pup to buy! :-)  Now if only someone would offer me some money to buy a dog!

Karen

LOL!!!! Yes, come along and give your .02 worth. Just be sure to bring your check book and .02 won't do it honey. Make sure there's at least $2000.00.....for now anyway. We'll have to do better later.) LOL

Carrie

I agree you should never buy a pup for anyone.the quest made a big mistake and I hope she has sorted it out.I can not stop worrying about that pup.please let us know what has happened