Not sure if I posted this before
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom smell each other
Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on the sofa or is it the same old story
Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt the stingray and the rabbit, but not one named for adog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God If a dog barks his head off in the forest where no one can hear him is he still a bad dog?
Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instruction, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God When we get to the Pearly gates do we have to shake paws to get in?
Dear God Are there postmen in Heaven? If there are do I have to apologise?
Dear God Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc just because I like the way they smell.
I will not eat 'leftovers' in the cat litter tray; although they are tasty they are not food.
The sofa is not a towel; neither is Mum and Dads laps.
The binmen are not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the fridge.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dads pants when he is on the toilet.
Sticking my nose in someones crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I do not need to suddenly stand up when I am lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my coat before I enter the house.
I will not sit in the middle of the room and lick my crotch when company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise it is not usually a good thing.
God when I get to Heaven, can I please have my testicles back?
By EMMA DANBURY ![[gb]](/images/flags/gb.png "United Kingdom")
Date 24.06.04 12:03 UTC