Hi
am new to the message board but for one previous query.
I have just lost my boy Jasper aged almost 12 years to gastric torsion,he survived the operation but his poor heart went into spasm the next day and nothing could be done.It was without doubt the worst day of my life and I am still in pieces not having him around.I got him as a 7 week old puppy and can say with hand on my heart that he never gave me a moment of regret apart from the usual,follow me everywhere,sleep on the bed routine!!!
Wiems are very special dogs and when you let one into your life you are smitten for good!!
Anyway,i was wondering how you coped following the loss of your boy as i am findingit very hard,and have you got another dog yet?
I know that i will get another weim for sure but i suppose i will have to wait until my heart tells me that it is right to do so.
My wife and i have a 15 month old girl who jasper adored and he in return was musch loved by her,she could almost say his name!!
anyway we have another babe due in oct and if I felt the time was right would like to get a puppy before then.
any advice on the points i have raised would be very welcome.
kind regards
derek shea.
ps gastric torsion [bloat] is a terrible illness and a lot of deep chested breeds are at risk,please everyone read up on it and watch fot the warning signs.

Welcome to the forum Derek.

Firstly, can I say how sorry I am to hear that you have lost your lad :-( Bloat is truly awful.

I am sure that Linda will answer your post as soon as she see's it, but in the mean time maybe you would like to Register then you will be able to join in any discussion that may arise from your original post?

The visitors forum was introduced so that visitors to the site could ask a one off question, without having to register but if you make more than one post, you need to join.

Congratulations on your expected baby too :-)

Hi Leigh
Many thanks for your kind words re jasper,yes it is a horrible illness and to strike a dog who was otherwise very healthy and happy was a terrible blow to me and my family.
Have now registered with the forum and look forward to participating and discussing the various subjects.
Think that your site is excellent,keep up the good work
regards
derek shea.
London.

Hi ya Derek- regarding your message for Zicos Mum- she's actually expecting a new pup to be born any minute now- we've all been talking about this on another thread under 'Idle Chat'- 'New Puppy (hopefully) on the way'- she's said a fair bit regarding her sorrow etc in the first post on the thread if you'd like to read that while waiting for her to come back to you on this thread. May I suggest though you only read the first page as the second went slightly off the subject:).

Sorry to hear about your loss:( You've got me set to do some research on it!

Stacey

Stacey,there is a lot of info on the net about Bloat. It is also known as Gastric Torsion.

Thanks Leigh- just had a quick scan read (will look more thoroughly later) and it's more common for the larger breeds- which the GSD is one of the larger breeds. It says (don't quote this) that the dog can be dead within two hours- that's no time at all to notice it and get to the vets is it:( It sounds awful- Oh Derek- you poor thing:( At least you've raised awareness!

hi Kash
thanks for replying,yes gastric torsion acts very quickly,many years ago i trained as an animal nurse with the rspca so was able to pick up on the warning signs but it was still too late for Jasper.
He had been under the weather for a week or so and was being treated for an enlarged prostate and was responding so well.
during the day he had been to hyde park and was jumping around like a young gazelle.Around 9pm my wife took him for a stroll and returned to say that he had tried to be sick but was unable,i noticed that his stomach was quite bloated and he was drooling and trying to vomit without an end result.These are the 3 main warning signs,I had him at the vets within 30 min and was told that they would operate right away,at 3am on the friday am the vet called to say the op had gone well but the next 24 hours were vital,called at 10am and he was woosy from the anasethic but had stood up and taken some water.
At 3pm i was on my way to work and the vet called to say that Jaspers heart had gone into spasm and they were treating him as she spoke,they tried 8 boluses of medication to try to get his heart rate normal but it only lasted for 30 seconds,she then said that nothing more could be done and i had to let my boy go,the hardest thing i have ever done in my life!!!
as Leigh says there is a lot of info onthe subject and i would advise dog owners to heed the warning signs carefully.
I am trying to come to terms with his death but it is so hard when you have 12 years of memories and not a proper chance to say goodbye.
I am 100% a doggie person so i know i will get another when the pain has healed a bit besides the house is so empty without a dog,saying that my 15 month old daughter makes up for it!!!!regards derek.

HI Derek

So very sorry to hear of your sudden loss - I lost my best girl just over 2 years ago and was thankfully able to say goodbye and be prepared. HOwever i wasn't prepared when i lost my male Terv, that was a horrible shock, he too was put to sleep at the vets ..... i was lucky as i was able to be with him, but it was very unexpected.

If I may suggest, there is a great little book out called "Absent Friend: How to cope withthe loss of a Treasured Pet" by Laura Lee. I have in fact just lent it to a friend who lost her BC cross at 16 years and she found it really helpful. There is also another one by Dee Woodcock which was in spired by the loss of her GSd. I believe both are available from crosskeysbooks.com

I had to wait over a year to get the bitch puppy i wanted, and it was truly horrid without a dog, but i have ot say I have honestly been unprepared at the way i have sometimes compared the puppy (now nearly a year!! :) ) with my other dogs. She is wonderful and the bond is building slowly and surely but I miss my other dogs so much.

So my advice would be, we are all different, my cousin had to rush out almost the next day to get another vblack lab as she couldnt' face life without a dog in the house...just do what feels right for you.

Best wishes
LIndsay

Hi Lindsay,
Thanks for your kind words.it really helps to know that there is such a great bunch of people out there who can relate to how i am feeling.
A friend picked up a copy of Absent friends for me and i intend to open a page later this week.
my wife is a primary school teacher and i provide the child care for my 15 month old during the day and believe me its hard to glance at my mail let alone get the chance to read a book!!!
At the moment i am just looking into the feasability of getting a puppy from the same bloodline as my boy so this could be a long process.also i am travelling abroad a fair bit until august so thats a no no on the puppy front until then,We used to leave jasper with my father who also adored him,he used to spoil him rotten whilst we were away in canada and we always then had to do a Jasper holiday somewhere in the uk so that Got his break from london as well!!!Even though i miss him like crazy,it is sooo empty without a dog around so i understand how horrid that can be and is!!kind regards derek

So sorry to hear of your loss of Jasper due to bloat.
I know how hard it is to loose a Weimaraner, as they
are like children.
To answer your question about owing another before you
baby is due. My best advice is wait. Children are
precious in their own right and you need to have all
your time taken up looking after the children. As you will
know Weimaraners need lots of patience, training. Also
they nearly all go through the jumping up phase, where they
hit you in the stomach, some worse than others.
Prehaps you have forgotton that stage, but I know how much
Weimaraners take in time to properly train.
If it was me pregnant I would want to have my baby first.
I have kids and Weimaraners I should add.
Wait, then get your pup. Their are lots of good breeders that
you can take your time and visit and really find the dog that
you want which will be with you for the next 13 years.

Really sorry to hear of your loss Derek. I know you said you didn't have time to say goodbye but at least you were making all the right decisions for your precious dog and you always had his best interests at heart. You didn't let him suffer and your dog couldn't have asked for more. I really feel for you because I know how weimaraners touch your heart no matter how long they are with you. I hope in time you will remember your precious weimaraner with smiles instead of tears.

Luv
Claire.

Hi Claire
thanks for your kind words,as i said to Lindsay earlier you really are a great bunch and the thoughts,advice and messages are a good tonic at this sad time.
Just received a wonderful letter from a lady in south africa who walked jasper when we were away,she comes over every year and works for animal aunts and had walked him every summer for 4 years or so,anyhow she has a montage of pictures [over100]of the dogs she has walked on her wall at home and she kindly made up a fridge magnet with Jasper on it
for me.
Little things like that make me think that maybe this world is'nt as bad as some make out!!!!
kind regards
derek.

Hi Derek!

Aren't they wonderful, the bunch on here? I have been at an exhibition all day or I would have replied earlier. Also I have had a good cry whilst reading your posts and the responses from everyone on here.

You ask me how I coped? I'm afraid the answer is I didn't, at least not very well. I could run off a string of cliches (time is a great healer, talk about your feelings, try to remember the good and the bad, etc.)- the irritating thing about cliches is that they are so true and yet so bl**dy meaningless at the same time aren't they? I found the discovery of this board a tremendous support (not just sucking up Leigh - Honest!). It enabled me to 'tell my story' to people I knew would understand - doggy people. After all, there is only so much talking about a dog which your family and friends can tolerate and the people on here have listened and poured their sympathy out, as you have already found. I am now in regular touch with Weimowner - Am half way through an email to you Nina - Honest!!! - and that has helped me loads. She should be in the diplomatic service I can tell you ;)

The things I did in the early days were collect together all my photos and have a good cry and laugh. Go for my favorite walk, alone, and talk to him the whole way (I live in the country so no one saw me, this might not be so easy in Hyde Park :D) These things enabled me to 'lay the ghost' as it were. I still however have flashes of memories which I don't want (and I can't stop) of his last hours. These are becoming fewer though and I can generally force myself to replace the images with ones of him playing with a ball (which he did right up until the day he died) or running across a field with gay, gamboling abandon, like Weims do!

I swore I would never have another dog. I stuck to this though for 6 months and it was hell. Then one day someone said (as they watched me trying not to cry again) 'what do you miss so much that it is still upsetting you like this?' Well, where do you start?!? The unquestioning devotion and love; the affection; the almost human intelligence; the sense of fun; the way they so love being alive; the way they exist just to be near you..... 'And where do you plan to get all that from now Zico is gone?' Now, that made me stop and think and within 30 seconds I knew, I had to look into having another dog. I have spent two months thinking of little else (haven't I Nina ;)) and finally came to the conclusion that yes, I would rather have Zico than any puppy every born but that just isn't possible, so failing that, am I about to deprive my self of any canine love? NO!!! So, I have researched and planned and visited some truly wonderful people, become ebuddies with some other really wonderful people and have found my puppy.... but more about that story on another thread, I don't want to hi-jack this one...

Derek, I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm afraid there is nothing I can say to help make it better, but I think you have made a hugely positive step in registering here and if nothing else reading this board is a wonderful way to easy insomnia or take your mind off your troubles for a while.

Jasper is up there now, on his cloud, next to Zico (who is showing him the ropes in doggy heaven) and right this minute they are both tucking into poached salmon and rice, as I have just wished it for them! That's how doggy heaven works :D

I better finish now before I convince you I am completely barking :p

Good luck with the healing process, please keep in touch.

Linda

Im just really catchng up on the posts after a hectic week,so sorry Derek for your loss,and Zicos Mum i have a lump in my throat reading your post it brings back the loss of my beloved first Labrador Vicky.Hope you are both OK soon.The grieving can only be done by you and there are many ways of dealing with grief,mine was through my poems,I was inspired to wrte every feeling down,it did help,but its twelve years since I lost Vicky and I still can cry for her,I still miss her so much even though I have other dogs,the love we get from our beloved dogs has to be paid for and that sadly is when they leave us,I believe they are waiting for us and one day we will be reunited,
Have you read the Rudyard Kipling Poem? Quote: " Brothers and sisters I bid you beware,before giving your heart to a dog to tear"
Best wishes Glenys xx

Hi Glenys,Yes I have read the kipling poem and it is very apt,At the moment writing about Jasper and memories is still to much for me.
BUt as i write i realise that is what i have been doing on the message board so yes it does help!!!
Talking about poetry, my wife came home from school today and handed me a folder of lovely poems that her class of 8 year olds had put together for us about Jasper.
I used to bring him into the school every now and then and the kids would make a great fuss over him,It was really lovely to watch some of the kids who had never even touched or stroked an animal before stand to one side and gradually make the move to pat him.Fond memories.
regards
derek.

Children can have wonderful way of expressing things and if they write something down its ususally from the heart.
My Grandaughter Shelley aged seven was talking to me the other day and I was going to a funeral,she said "will you see the Lady in the Box?" I didnt really know what to say to that,she said "will you tell me what she looks like" so needless to say I changed the subject but then she watched the Queen Mothers funeral she may have thought it was the same lady:(
anyway I hope you will find comfort soon.

Hi linda
Just came home from work and have read your message,Will reply in full tomorrow as have to be up for child care duty in 5 hours!!!!
Your so right ,This message board has been a godsend.And you are so right all the cliches ring true but they are bl##dy useless.the bottom line is grief is hard and we have to get through it in the best way we can.
also thanks for your honesty,i'm not coping with my loss verywell but 19 days later i'm still here getting on with life,so i guess we cope without even realising that we are.[hope that makes sense it is 220am!!]
Sorry to all for being a bit of a sad case at the moment look forward to commenting and partaking in happier subjects in the future.
also many thanks to Nutkin,Mattie,weimowner& cher for your support and advice.goodnight all derek.ps Linda i share your obvious joy regarding your puppy,look forward to reading more news as things develop.

Derek,

If I had known you were up at 2.20am I'd've joined you for a chat :) Remember that insomnia I was talking about? :D

I look forward to 'chatting' later, I'd be back on line this afternoon at some stage.

Linda

Hi Linda
Yes the night time is the worst for me at the moment,have my handsful during the day and early evening with baby Alice and work,My wife usually turns in early[shattered after spending the day with 28 kids,i'm sure any primary teachers out there know the feeling!!}So The sofa was left to me and Jasper from 10pm onwards.
Also every night at around 1130pm we used to go for a long walk around the neighberhood,He loved it as he could amble along without his lead and have a good sniff at his leisure,At the moment i have taken to going out for a drive around the time we used to go walkabout i find this helps distract me,I tried going for a walk but its too painful without him and i usually bump into somebody and they ask ''where's Jasper'' this evening.
so at least i dont have that problem whilst driving.
Today i managed to trace the owner of Jaspers mum and will be contacting him soon tofind out if he still keeps weims,A bit of a long shot its almost 12 years since we spoke but i remember him as a very nice guy,totally devoted to his 2 weims and the ducks,geese and goat that he had in his garden!!!
Still getting used to the message board and adapting to ''talking'' by this method,but it is great fun.Had a look for the comet this evening but no chance i'm afraid with the bright city lights.We are thinking about taking off to Bath at the weekend so maybe I'll see it under country sky conditions.
Also thanks lindsay,Yes i have read the kipling poem,its very apt.

A friend of mine sent me this today, apparently it's doing the rounds and the Queen used it at her mother's funeral.

He is Gone
By Anonymous
You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I find the second 'pair' the most moving myself. I felt like I closed my eyes and prayed he'd come back a lot last summer.
If you look at each 'pair' of lines, I don't know about you but I can see the progress I have made from feeling like the stuff on all the first lines of each pair, to now when I am slowly feeling more like the second lines, if you follow me.

Keep in touch,

Linda

Imogens gravestone has the following inscription :

How dearly we loved you,
and prayed you might live.
But Jesus just beckoned,
and we had to give.

She would have been 3 on the 20th of this month and not a day goes by when I don't think of her and feel cheated by the briefness of her life.

Enjoy your new puppy, as we're enjoying Isabelle.

Fiona

Hi Linda
Yes it is a very moving poem,I got to the second pair and the tears came
Went for a short walk and happy memories replaced the sorrow.
yesterday was the first day that i got through without shedding a tear:)but today they are back with a vengence!!
Its 3 weeks tomorrow and I am feeling the urge to get out of london,funny this grief Every friday since Jasper died i have not wanted to be home its like i want to remove myself from the painful memory of that day[does that make sense to anyone?!!].
Yes i understand where you are in relation to the second lines,Hopefully i will get there as well one day.I can also feel your loss of zico and the love you still have in your heart for him:).
How goes news of the puppy? or do i have to move onto a different section to read about that.[As i said before,am not very well up on the geography and workings of the site.
derek.

Hi Derek!

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I've had a weekend away from the board, spent mostly relaxing at a health spa so am all chilled out :)

<Every friday since Jasper died I have not wanted to be home>
I know exactly what you mean. Zico died early hours Saturday morning, we took him to the vet on Friday night.... Weekends were not the same for a very, very long time. But trust me, you will stop counting soon. You're already doing 'weeks' rather than 'days'! Soon it'll be months and then you'll have to stop and think. (Although, if you're anything like me the very fact of moving away from Jasper in terms of time will be hard to take at first - I was a nightmare at New Year, feeling I was leaving Zico behind and closing a door on him.... Mad I know :( )

There is some news of Pup on the thread called Pup is Born!!!, but a brief update... he is now a week old and doing really well. I have spoken to his human-mum twice since the puppies arrived, which is great as she has reasured me about both doggy-mum and the puppies being well. They are putting weight on at a terrific rate and doggy-mum (who is a natural) is doing them proud! I am hoping to visit when they are about four weeks old and obviously can't wait :D :D.

<am not very well up on the geography and workings of the site.>
I find if you go to Active Topics (its at the top of the main board, on the right hand side) then you can see which topics are, well Active! I find that helps me work out who is talking about what and when. Hope that helps.

Keep your chin up! You have a lot to look forward to with the new baby on the way, and with a little one to care for day to day I'm sure you're not short of distractions. He know's you're thinking of him and would want you to remember the fun and be thankful you had it, not sad its gone...

Getting soppy now! Had better go. :)

Linda

Hi Linda
was just about to post a message that i had written and i hit back button and lost it!!!!
Will post later.
Hope all is well with pup. :)derek

Good to hear from you Derek, I was wondering only yesterday how you were getting on!

I look forward to reading the Post when you have had time to retype:D

Linda

Hello Derek,

Sorry to hear about Jasper, my weims have both had health scares and I know how awful dealing with those were never mind having to go through what you have. I lost a little westie a couple of years ago, he was 14, dogs do touch your hearts, we never forget them. I hope that the loss eases quickly for you and in its place your happiest memories together always come first.

Linda has been off for a week, I'm sure that she will be around soon, she went to see her prospective new pup's Mum in Scotland over Easter so she should be around soon. I have had an email from her since so she must be about! Hope you manage to get together soon, I'll send her a tip off! ;o)

I have an 18 month old daughter, she was about 9 months old when we got our second weim, was it the right thing to do...well, yes and no, it depends on you as a couple I think, both human and weim babies demand a lot of time as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, so if you can cope and have family support (there are very few places that weims like to walk/romp that you can successfully push a buggy LOL! Of course you could get a sling like we did) you might be OK.

I think that with such a young baby though, you would be better off waiting, one of you may resent the time that the other is spending with each particular baby - hope that makes sense!

One word of warning though (which might definitely out you off if you like your sleep!) we went through a stage when my daughter was poorly of her getting us up in the night, and us getting her settled, then the puppy getting us up in the night, then the baby etc etc... the nights grew very long all of a sudden...

Good luck with any decisions you make,
Regards, Nina.

Hi Derek,

Sorry to hear about your sad loss, I know just how it feels as we lost our lovely wemaraner, Jake (five and a half yrs.), to Gastric Torsion a year and a half ago and its still so hard not to get upset when I think of him - just like you feel when something triggers off a memory of a special person - it doesn't hurt any less when a family pet dies, especially when you've had him since he was a puppy! It would be interesting to find out how common this horrible illness is and how many dogs have been struck down by it - especially weimaraners.

p.s. We have since got a GSP puppy and she is keeping us on our toes, I think her and Jake would have got on like a house on fire!

I don't know who it was, but someone somewhere said that the greatest compliment you can possibly pay your old dog friend, is to get another, and I think that is true. There is a poem about it somewhere :)

lindsay

Hi Cher
Thanks for your kind words,please let me also express my sympathy to you re Jake,IT really is a killer this gastric torsion and the quickness in which it strikes gives you no time to come to terms with losing a dear friend.I am currently finding out as much about gtv as i can and am currently looking at some american websites where they compare incidents of gtv against various breeds.Will post on health section when i have all info.
Good luck with your puppy
derek shea:)