Hi all,

Sorry - this is probably another stupid question from me: is it unrealistic to expect your dog to be friendly with all other dogs, if they have been VERY well socialised and come from lines famous for good temperaments? I got really upset last week at Obedience class when we passed a terrier and Honey stopped for a quick sniff - and it attacked her, seemingly for no reason. But what really shocked me was that she snarled back and we had to pull them apart very quickly. I was appalled at her behaviour and wanted to take her back to the terrier and force her to "say hello" nicely - but my trainer said that I shouldn't because not all dogs like each other and that I should just accept that. But I thought - isn't that why we socialise our puppies? To make them friendly with all other dogs? And if she isn't friendly with all dogs, does this mean that there's a problem with her temperament? (she has only really snarled at this one terrier, otherwise pretty friendly - if over-friendly - with all other dogs).
Or am I being unrealistic?

Thanks again,
Hsin-Yi

Although it would be nice to think our dogs should be friends with every other one, I do think it is unrealistic. After all, people aren't all 'best buddies' with everyone else, are they? Some people I am great friends with, others are 'nodding acquaintances' - nice enough, but 'not my sort' - and others I'll go out of my way to avoid. It's the same with dogs. We socialise them as much as we can to minimise the number of dogs they don't like, or whose body language is all wrong ...

I'm a friendly, well socialised person, but if someone came up to me and attacked me I would hit them back! (especially if they were a tenth of my size! lol)

The thing about allowing your dog to socialise with lots of different dogs is that sooner or later one will 'have a go' for some reason or another. If that happens your dog has 4 choices; run away, walk away, fight back or stand there and take the punishment. I would suggest that the last option would display a lack of sense on the part of the dog (lol)

Your dog does not sound aggressive, but she does sound as though she has enough self-confidence to stand her ground when provoked. The important thing is to ensure that your dog does not get it into her head that ALL dogs (or even all terriers) are going to attack.

Your dog stopped for a quick sniff.....................

Where was your dog and where was the terrier!  Were they both on leads?

If you allowed your dog to "invade" another dog's "space" the other dog would probably feel uncomfortable and "tell your dog off", this is normal behaviour; a lot of dogs are allowed to be "rude" and then when the other dog tells them go away the rude owner's dog often acts as though the other dog was at fault not their own.

Also if dogs are on leads or in an enclosed space they feel even more vulnerable as they are not "in control" of their environment.

Your dog probably reacted the way she did because of surprise and also the lead was a factor.

Socialising is not done to ensure that your dog "likes" all dogs but to ensure that it learns how to read other dogs, how to approach, how to appease etc.  Just as I don't "like" everyone I work with, but that does not mean I do not extend to them the basic good manners and courtesy I would expect myself.  It is not necessary to like all people or all dogs but it IS necessary that we and they learn to act appropriately.

http://www.flyingdogpress.com/sayhi.html

i live in a place where there are lots and lots of dogs.  they all belong to nice owners, but it isn't unusual to have "rita" or "mocha" show up at my house to hang out with my dog.  my dog gets along with every dog he has ever come into contact with.  two times another dog tried to get a little snappy with him, but my dog just won't fight.  he wants to play. 
so, although it may be rare, it is not imposible to have a dog that likes pretty much everyone.  i did socialize the heck out of him, so nothing was ever too much of a surprise.  and as a puppy, i did not always have him on a lead and i let him bug the older dogs and the older dogs told him off and thus taught eli how to act around other dogs.

I think you should be aiming to get your dog happy and confident with all dogs, however i think it IS unrealistic to expect your dog not to retaliate to other dogs attacks.

Try and learn as much as you can about dog body langauge, im sure you are doing anyway, but i am frequently shocked when people think their dog is being friendly when in fact its being very in your face and threatening, and on the other hand, people are convinced their dog is being aggressive (on lead screaming) when in fact its excited and desperate to interact with other dogs.

Also, please be very aware that being on a lead is very very restricting for a dog, and can well lead to them feeling threatened, especially if you shorten that lead. The owner can easily transmit feelings of fear or anxiety down the lead to the dog, which can also lead to problems.

Em

Thanks, tohme, for your thoughts. Yes, they were both on leads - it was just before class started at Obedience school and we were walking along a path beside the clubhouse. The terrier was standing beside its owner who was sitting on a bench beside the path. As we passed them, Honey stopped and they both had a sniff (nose to nose) and then suddenly, the terrier went for Honey. Usually, Honey backs off but this time, she seemed to lunge forward too and snarled. I got a real shock and pulled her away. The terrier's owner was very relaxed about it and just laughed it off - then agreed with my trainer when she said that I shouldn't force them to be friendly.
Do you think Honey was invading the terrier's space? Does this mean that she should never be allowed to stop and "say hello" to dogs she passes...how do you know when it's just saying hello and when it's invading their space?
(I have to say, terriers always seem to have a problem with Honey)

I sincerely hope I'm not one of those owners who allow my dogs to be rude and then blame the other dog - if anything, I usually blame myself or my own dog. But because of this, I had fallen into a panic that Honey was a rude, aggressive dog - when recently, I've realised that she is just being a puppy and therefore I shouldn't be too hard on her. Also, I don't think it's good to always blame yourself as it can be just as much the other dog's problem for being not socialised enough.

But you're right - I think the lead is a big factor because the few times I let Honey off leash, there seem to be a lot less problems in her interactions with other dogs.

Thanks again,
Hsin-Yi

Hsin-Yi,

Small dogs like terriers often get snappy with large dogs.  Basically, they are scared and are trying to frighten the larger dog.   They are brave enough to go up to the larger dog - but something must go "click" in their heads (like WOW, this is a GIANT dog!_ and they react defensively). 

Stacey