Think I've posted this before but its always worth reminding you.....

Just to put on the record the other side......We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These
are 'OUR' rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
or example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as cricket, the lineout formation, or formula 1
cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Geoff :)

Brilliant

Keep this post at the top as they've obviously have never read the 'real' rules :D :D :D

:-D  :-D I like it how Jeff & Joe are the first to jump on this post.  :-D  :-D

Must admit, most of it is quite true.

Excellent Geoff!!  Nothing else need be said!

Henny :-)

I think I must be a bloke, I say (to myself) a lot of those things.  Well, not the one about the toilet seat tho' - but I agree you have a point.  Therefore I am 'bumping' you to the top again.

Steph (or should I be called Steve from now on)

Thanks Steve :D

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions???!!!!  He was trying to find the way to Asia

Lesley

Quite right Lesley! He was trying to get to India!

And continued to stubbornly believe that he had actually got there!  A typical specimen of a man indeed :D

Men never take the wrong route! :rolleyes:

:D Love the in shape one, and I do agree Peach is not a colour, neither is beige/magnolia/taupe/hint of anything, theyr'e abominations.

What do you mean we have too many shoes? 

Of course, I agree that shopping is not a sport, it's a necessity!  Kinda like breathing, eating, sleeping, shopping!  :D

really cool geoff

pml. that made me giggle. *bows to geoff*.:)

Two rules in my house. 1)  Im always right. 2) When Im wrong I am still right.
No wonder Im single.

I was waiting for something like this :D

I have to agree with the shopping one :D Don't much care for it unless I need something and well thats not very often :( unless its a petstore I drive me hubby crazy :D

Bumped it again

All I can say is men

:)