My daughter will be 16 in a few months time and has asked if she can have a dog for her Birthday we already have two dogs and although I'm not really opposed to having a new baby in the house, I don't think its appropriate to buy one for a 16 year old. The problem is her Grandparents have told her that there is no reason why she shouldn't have one and I'm just being mean.

I have told them that having a dog is all very well now but I can see all sorts of problems in the future which I have tried to point out, not that they are listening. I don't think my inlaws are stupid enough to go get her a puppy but the thought has crossed my mind and I'm just not sure what to do next.

Can anyone give me some advice on what to do.

Personally, I wouldn't get a pup in this situation unless *I* wanted one myself and I was happy to take the pup on if daughter gets bored. They don't have much of an attention span at 16 - so worse case is you will end up with 3 dogs....oh, and I don't think you are being mean at all :)

I don't either!  and I think her grandparents are out of order for saying something like that.  It's your decision and it's a very serious one so it should depend on if you want another dog or not.  I grew up not being allowed a dog and had to make do with walking and looking after neighbours dogs.  It was only until I had a full time job and was financially independent that I was allowed a dog.  Your daughter is very lucky having two dogs in the household already.

Helen

I was never allowed a dog either. And when I got married I wasn't allowed pets - not without a row anyway :rolleyes: so i got rid of the husband and now i have: 4 horses, 2 danes, 4 rabbits, 4 Guinea Pigs :D :D and 2 kids!

I would be inclined to say No.  She is coming to to exams, boyfriends - if she has not started already - and either college or work - who will look after it then.

Why not give her full responsibility for one of your existing dogs for a few months - she walks it, feeds and grooms it, takes it to training classes, cleans up the garden after it and everything else she would have to do if she had a puppy. 

If she manages to look after it for a minimum of two months without asking youto do anything then say you "may" reconsider - but only if you actually want another one

Ditto - ditto - ditto :)

Daisy

when my brother was 16 he so wanted a puppy, so my parents gave in and got him one, at first the dog was everything to him, but within a few months he wasnt interested anymore, didnt want to take him out, play with him or anything like that,wanted to go out with his mates etc etc, in the end my parents had to take charge and 'took over', 5 years on he still doesnt have anything to do with him, maybe thats just boys but i would be cautious in getting one just incase your daughter does the same.

just a thought :)

Are the grandparents going to take an active part in looking after pup ?
If not, its easy for them to call you mean .
Also consider that your daughter may go to college/university etc in the future and who will be responsible for the dog then ?

"A dog isn't for a birthday...it's for the next 14 or so years!"  Is she certain she can commit to that? (and are you?)

You aren't mean, just being sensible and acting responsibly. Your in-laws are very being unfair by putting pressure on you and to your daughter too for getting her hopes up. If they do by any chance buy her a dog maybe you should insist that they keep it at their house. ;) :) 

My 2 sons wanted rabbits and guinea pigs and though they did look after them, I'm looking after the last remaining guinea pig now as they've lost interest. I only got them as I was prepared to look after them myself eventually. :) 

Kath.

My children both had their own puppy/dog to train and work however they were both very much into dogs and were handling our dogs in agility. The dogs were very much part of the family and wanted by us and it was nothing to do with grandparents.  Both kids were desperate for their own dog for quite a while but we made them wait until they were in sight of their 11th birthday.  That said I wouldn't have got them one at 16 if they hadn't shown an interest earlier.  I think you are right to consider it inappropriate to buy a dog for a 16 year old.
Sally

Hi Sally

If your website is anything to go by then you are in a different situation to most of us so you don't count :D

I had to show I could pick up dog poo and prove that I wouldn't lose interest by the time I got a pup!  (now I have had 5!!!)

It's not fair to give a pup to a 16 year old.  im just 16, and although I would love another dog I would go for a different breed then we currently have and to honest, in 2 yrs time im hoping to be at uni, so poor pup would be left with mum and dad!  (they wouldn't mind if it was a dog we all agreed on)  Your daughter will have to realise that if she wants a dog then it will be HER resposibility, what is the likly hood that you will have to walk/fed/everything the dog by the time it is 6 mths.

If your daughter really does want a dog then show her all the not so nice sides aswell, vet fees, price of food etc and then if YOU want aother dog get her one!!

Rox

Hello guest,

Ask the grandparents to have it during the day, I bet that will change their mind!  If they turn round and say that they don't have the time, don't want the commitment, don't want the mess then just say that you don't either.
We have a few teenagers come to our club, luckily before they get their pups, if they are happy to pick up poo, and train in all weathers and make the commitment to come training week in and week out, then thats ok, but the majority of them last a week or so and then their social lives are more important.
I would ask her who is going to look after a puppy when she is at school/college/work etc, if its not going to be her, then who would it be?
Also, is she ready to make the commitment to take it training every week and practise every day, whether it coinsides with her social life, friends etc.or not?
You seem a very sensible person to me and I'm sure that if your daughter really thinks about it, she will realise that it isn't the right time.  I'm sure that in the coming summer months she'll want to be out with her mates, rather than puppysitting.
Good luck, you're not mean at all, just entirely sensible about it :)
Let us know how it goes.
Ali :)

Hi, I think the idea of letting your daughter take sole responsibility for one of your existing dogs for a couple/few months is a good one.  My son asked for years to have another cat.  I pointed out to him how much care they needed and for how long and he insisted he would look after them, and so we got two (we wanted them to and I am prepared to look after them but didn't tell him).  Now we have had them for well over a year and he does still look after them but I do have to constantly remind him.  The other day I said to him never to ask for another pet as I have to nag him and he said 'I won't' so he obviously regrets asking for them now.  I think he has learned a good lesson for the future about how much care a pet takes.

My neice on the other hand had a dog bought for her when she was 4 or 5 (again for the whole family really) and she clears up after her, grooms her, feeds her (and all the other pets they have), and now she is older she also walks her everyday.  So you can only really tell over time.

Fiona

Only get the pup if YOU are prepared to take sole responsilbility for it,the odds are that your daughter will have better things to do with her time than pick up dog poop and feed and clean another dog,i also begged my folks for another dog when i was 15 and within 5 mths. i lost interest,my new boyfriend and friends were more important,i'm ashamed to say :p but all of the above is o.k if you yourself truly want another dog.
What breeds are your dogs and what breed does your daughter want?

christine

I agree, don't get the dog unless you want one. I'm 20 now and when i was 14 or so I really wanted a horse and my parents said no, with the argument that i would be going to uni in a few years and what would happen to the horse. At the time i hated them but now i'm grateful, as its turned out i went to uni away from home for half a year, came back and now live with my boyfriend, go to a local uni and we got a puppy on saturday :) and we both have time for him (since they do take up SO much time lol). Then when i was about 16 i really wanted a puppy and again i got a no from my parents and my grandparents were the same, id go see them and they would tell me that i should have one and they could get me one etc............ BUT at 16 i would have been bored of the pup after a few weeks and some realisation as 2 how much work they are.

Whenever a teenager wants an animal dont get one unless you are prepared to have it yourself.