Hello i have a 3 year old maremma, he is wonderful, except he is very very protective of me.
He wont let any men near me!
I met my partener John 6 months ago, Marley (the dog) HATES john getting close to me, he is OK with john coming into the house, but if john goes to touch me, marley places himself between me and john and growls and snarls.
we are both worried what marley will do, he is a huge dog, and i wouldnt want to make things worse!

Anyway john gave me a hard choice last night, basically him or the dog.
I love this dog to pieces, ive had a rough time the last 2 years, and marley has brightened up my life!
on the other- hand john is the first man ive met since a bad break up, that seems to know me and how to make me happy!

what can i do!??

Alana Harper

I think any man that truly loves you would also accept your love for your dog - no matter what ?
and wouldnt expect you to choose.
what happens if you choose him and months later you split up ? Just a thought

If he loves you and knows what you want, why are you even thinking about it?? Keep the dog :)

OK, we all love our dogs, but let's be reasonable here - this behaviour needs to be controlled, and I would recommend that you see a trainer to find a safe way to teach Marley his place - he must learn the difference between an intruder and an invited guest.

After all, it may be unlikely, but what if you were ill and this was an ambulance man/doctor he wouldn't let near you ..... ?

Maybe if you join and post your location someone can give you an idea of a good trainer in your area?  Or someone like John could give some training tips - obviously, he's a large dog, so this would need to be done with care.

M.

I'm sure someone with more experience than me, will be along to offer some advice on Marleys over-protectiveness. However I would be wary of any man who made me choose between him or my dogs.
Needless to say, my dogs would stay.
Why don't you register with us, it's free, and it will enable you to answer any questions, which may help with your problem.

Good Luck

liberty :)

Dogs can be sometimes better judges of people than we are. Just a thought ;-)

I have to say that the dog's relationship to HUMAN BEINGS needs to be put right as quickly as possible before it leads to trouble which could result in him having to be put down! Sorry to be blunt but that is how important it is. Whether he affects your relationship is between the two of you but a dog which is not trustworthy with roughly half of the human race is a liability.

It sounds like he is being over protective and on that score he needs firm leadership from you. It is your responsibility to inform him that this behaviour is unacceptable. Possibly reducing the amount of contact with you might help as well. Do not allow him to initiate contact YOU make the rules not him. It would also be useful if you could persuade your friend to take him for a walk. Get him away from the person he is protecting and into the sphere of influence of someone else, if you follow what I mean. In effect you are upping your friend's position in relation to your dog. All this of course is assuming that your friend is the kind of person to take charge of a dog? (and I don't mean being hard on the dog, just supplying leadership)

Regards, John

My reaction (and my husband's!) reading this was "Who have you known the longest?". To be honest, in this day and age, I would be pleased with a dog who defended me. It just might save my life. John is being just as possessive and jealous as Marley!

Can you not shut Marley in the kitchen with a Kong to keep him occupied when you and John want to get 'personal'?

When I was single the only fella my dogs didn't object to was the one I'm still with 10 years later...... :)

Maremmas are of course natural guardians so this behaviour is more pronounced in them than in some other breeds. BUT it is not acceptable for any dog to growl at anyone you accept - and that goes for Maremmas too (I have them myself so know what they are like!). You need to teach him boundaries. My guess is that if you have been on your own with him he is used to being treated as an equal. He needs to learn to respect your judgement. I would do this slowly. If he is OK with John in the house (but not close to you) start there. Reward that behaviour and gradually increase the "closeness" (you'll have to do this slowly so put him in a different room the rest of the time! :) ) . Have John build up a relationship with him also (feed him, take him out etc). If he growls - put him out. No fuss - just remove him. He has to learn there are boundaries to his guarding and you set them. He will come round if you give him time. When my partner first came over one of my Maremmas spent the entire evening barking furiously - now they are best of friends.

Where did you get Marley? Have you talked to the breeder? Most maremma breeders in the UK at least are only too happy to help. And if you do decide to rehome him PLEASE make sure he goes back to the breeder or into breed rescue. If he goes to a general rescue centre his chances are slim - they often don't act "adoptable" in these settings....

Good luck
Janet

I wouldn't get rid of my dog for anyone, I would however take him to behavioural classes to see if you can sort him out that way.......not saying your man is evil of course but they do say dogs sense evil (joke). I also personally wouldnt be with any man who ever expected me to choose between him and my dog!

As someone suggested, can't you keep him in another room while you are with your man, teach him that he cannot come between you.

Get yourself some professional help not only to deal with the current problem but to avoid future difficulties.  A well trained "guard" dog will not interfere unless told; in fact I doubt very much if your dog is "protecting" you per se "from harm" etc but rather guarding his valuable resource and not allowing John to approach you just as he would not let John approach his bone etc; there is a difference!

A Maremma is a guardian rather than a "guard dog" in that sense. They are bred to guard the flock through their own decision - they can't wait to be told what to do as the shepherd is often not there! But I absolutely agree with you that he is more likely protecting his position or resource than guarding - and even if he is guarding, the correct response of these dogs is to accept those that the shepherd accepts. It really needs to be dealt as it will happen again. Janet

Hi,
Just wanted to say that if John likes you enough he will be willing to try and sort the problem out rather than trying to make you choose. If you did get rid of the dog would you be happy anyway?????
Lou

Hi

I think its possible that your dog has a problem with your partner because he sees him as a threat to his position in relation to you.  You have had your dog 2 years and for 18 months of this time it was just you and him.  As far as your dog is concerned you 2 were a pack and he had the male leader place alongside your female leader role.  Now along comes your partner and your dog sees him as a challenge for the role of male leader in this pack. 

If aggressive tactics are used towards your dog by either you when your partner is around or by your partner himself then it is likely that aggression will only increase as your dog does not want to be usurped.  

Was he always wary of men from day one or did it sneak up on you over a period of time?  As you got your dog at a time when you were vulnerable it might be that you have inadvertently taught your dog to be protective of you.   If this is learned behaviour (not genetic) it can be unlearned but on both counts you probably need expert advise.

I know others may rap my knuckles for saying this...but I can perfectly understand that if your large dog is being aggressive to your man, that your man wants rid. The alternative for you is to train your dog. If this behaviour towards men has gone on unchecked for 3 years, he will think its ok. IT IS NOT OK. Some people seem to like their dog being like this, and I really cannot understand it. The issue here is not choosing between boyfriend and dog, but getting your dogs unacceptable and dangerous behaviour sorted out. Lets face it, changing the boyfriend won't work if he is like it with all men.... and are you prepared to give up all male friends for the lifetime of your dog? Please get this sorted before someone gets bitten.