Can anyone tell me their kids age differences and how you feel about them, i.e, we have 2 at present, 20 months apart, boy and a girl, it was really hard for a long while but getting a lot easier now!  We are now considering having a third, my little girl, the youngest is now 3, so would probably be at least 4 by the time a baby would be born (if it happens!),  Are we mad to be even thinking about it when our lives are just getting easier, son soon to start full-time school, daughteer will be at Pre-School 4 mornings a week, then at school full time a year after that.
Should we let our hearts rule our heads or should we be sensible, and say two's enough
Any opinions and thoughts gratefully received, I'm sure there are considerations we haven't even thought of!

Thank you!

Hayley

Oh, and we currently have 3 dogs, one a 5month old puppy, and I don't work, and there is no need for me to rush back to work)

Stick with the two kids and buy plenty more dogs!!!!

Ok so thats just my way of thinking but at the end of the day its up to you.  If you and your partner really would like another baby in the near future then whats stopping you?  yes it proberly will be harder now its just got easier but if you can love the child and have enough time for 3 children then why not?

At the end of the day no-one can predict what will happen.  But whatever chocie you make it will be the right one.

Rox

Having a 9 year old and a 4 year old I would always have them closer together if I did it again because they fight. Then again, they would probably fight if they were closer in age aswell. So don't ask me :D

My 2 younger kids are only 10 months apart, 11 & 12. They drive me nuts with there constant bickering and fighting. You may think that things are getting easier as your kids are growing up-think again, it gets worse, a lot worse. I personally think you are off your trolly to even think about bringing more of the the little darlings into this terrorist ridden world. As much as I love my kids now that they are here. if I had my time over again, no way would I have ever had them. It terrifies me when I think about their future, think they'll be very lucky to live out natural lives. If they don't get killed in some sort of conflict, then the effects of global warming will get them. Sorry to be so doom and gloom, but that's how it is, too many people are burying their heads in the sand, they should take off their rose coloured spectacles and take a proper look at the world.

I have 6 1/2 years between my two (16 year old boy and 10 year old girl) - they still argue but not as much as children of a closer age would.  They don't argue about toys or friends because they've never had to share either of these!  He gets cross when he wants to hang out with his friends (he lives in our granny flat) and doesn't want her to be allowed in his place - fair enough.  But she likes his girlfriend and wants to be with her!! Aargh.  Daughter gets cross that he is allowed more freedom than her - understandable again.

The main problem we have had is holidays and days out.  Holidays are difficult because of the sleeping arrangements in one bedroomed apartments on the continent, they have to have a kids club for her and teenagers entertainment for him! Not many places cater for both.  he's not old enough to go clubbing and such but would like to.  He still needs more that just the pool though.  We take his mates, she wants to take hers. Aargh!

Days out (when he still wanted to come) were a nightmare!  Think 13/14 years old - Alton Towers type place, not enough for 7 year old to go on.  He was too 'grown up' for Disney until we got there - freedom to go on adult rides with friends without having to hang around with us was the answer.

To cap it all Hubby's trying to talk me into another!  NO!!!!!

Steph

MIne are 3 years apart due to extended breast feeding so I didnt plan it that way, nature worked her wonders for me. :D As Steph says holidays/outings could be a potential trouble spot when interests diverge with age, but I always insisted they take turns and cheerfully accept others needs. Now Gothboy and Satan Filly are both adolescent I have Stinkfoot and Minibeast still at the childhood stage and find the battle lines drawn down the middle so any bitching takes place within the subgroup. Im glad I still have wee ones as the older 2 prepare to go their own ways, and when they were really little I found a 3 year old and a baby easy to manage thanks to playgroup, and Im sure the feeling was mutual on the 3 year olds side.

BTW sibs fighting is GOOD as it means there is something worth fighting over especially if its mum theyre competing for. :D Fair nips the heed though as I found today at Bitchfest Mansions.

There's 19 months between my two girls. This is how we planned it & luckily it worked out. One reason we wanted this age gap was that there is 5 years between me & my sister & we were never close when growing up - we are now & have been good friends since I left home at 18. But as children we always argued.
Also I wanted to continue with my career, but took 3 and a half years out to be with my children, so another reason why a smaller age gap was good for us.
They are now 6 & 7 and a half & are very close, they share a bedroom by choice, even though they could have their own rooms if they wanted.
They are best mates and rarely argue. (ok sometimes they argue & then the fireworks fly - but generally they are best buddies)
I would have liked a third child, but hubby was not having any of it, so we stuck with 2.

I've got two with 2.5 years between them- boy and a girl and would love another! BUT I feel I've left it too late now with the youngest being 6- he'd be 7 by the time the other baby came and I think this age gap is too much!  If you're planning on it- do it now while you've still got a nice age gap :-)  I babysit one of my friends kids most weekends- she's 4- so I have an 8, 6 and 4 year old and to be honest one more thrown in isn't THAT much more work than the two I've already got so I wish I'd have done it a few years ago :-)

Stacey x x x  

I may not be the best person to ask as I have some rather odd age gaps :D :D

17 months between Lucy (29) and Luke (27) then a gap of nearly 5 years until Thomas (22) ..then a gap of 9 years until Sophie (13) ..then a 3 year gap to Conor (10)

Out of all of them it mattered not a jot what the gap was...2 would play well together and the third would always get into trouble ..it doesn't matter WHICH permutation of the 5 you took ..

:D :D

Our children are 15, 13, 11 and 9, they get along great no problems (well no worse than any body else, nothing major)..........my sister has two girls 7 years apart and they constantly argue and fight!

my kids  are  6   ,   2  ,  and 7 months

they all get on great..... suppose im lucky really   i used to fight constantly with my brother

My two are 3 years apart.  They are called 'First' and 'Last'.  ;)  Both grown up now and I love them really.  :)

Well as they say two's company and three's a crowd!  I have 3, almost 4 years between the first and second, and 18 months between the second and third.  Two of them play well together, (doesn't matter which two), sometimes all three play well together, but usually two will play and the third adds trouble.

Other problems I find with three children (although I always wanted 4 but things didn't work out that way):  Whenever you ask them what they want to do (cinema, park, cooking, reading) you may get two to agree, but the third always wants something different.  Also, if by a miracle they do all agree, say to read - all want different books! or all want to see a different film :0.  I always seem to end up doing things with them that at least one of them is unhappy with.

Another thing to consider is cars - a lot of cars only have seatbelts in the back for two people or an airbag in the front, so you need a bigger car.  Alot of holiday places (Eurodisney, Butlins, etc) mainly cater for two adult and two children - so extra aggravation or cost.  When you consider cost, things like swimming/pictures/MacDonalds always mount up to be expensive.  If you have a two bedroom house and children of both sexes, eventually you will need to move to a bigger house.  All these things should be considered.  Depsite all these things, I am very glad I have my three and would still have had another if possible.

Good luck with your decision.

Fiona

I love the 'First' and 'Last' - very appropriate for my two :D 2 years and 2 months betweeen, boy then girl and they fought like hell :D Two is enough for me :)

Daisy

I have 4 children, 21, 19, 16 and 10, there is only 15mths between 1st two, they get on fine, 3rd child a lovely lad but aggrevates everyone and what he doesn't know isn't worth knowing! I'm sure you know the attitude, all spoil the 10yr old and never short of someone to look after her, I had 3 at home under 5 at one time and can't remember how I would have coped!  My 19 yr old daughter is 3 wks off having a baby so I  will be a Grandma soon too and can't wait!  If the third would have been the first he would have been an only child I can guarantee that, having said all this though he is the most loving of them all.

Well, that wasn't a lot of help!  Did anyone agree??!!  No, really, it has given us some food for thought! We are lucky that we have a four bedroom house and a Volvo Estate, which we can easily change into a 7 seater.  Still have the cot and the baby carrier, though got rid of everything else as I was determined to stop at two, especially as I have one of each species.
I am sure we would cope with another child, it is just do we want to cope?  Holidays not really a problem as we find it hard work anyway!  Easier to hire a cottage with the Grandparents so we can take everyone and have loads of days out, we have been abroad twice with the kids, but to be honest we are not sitting on the beach kind of people!
Need to make a decision soon as the pill is due to run out shortly, might buy some folic acid tomorrow just in case .................... and hope none of my friends spots it!!  Don't want to be committed just yet!!!

Thanks everyone!

Hayley

Go for it Hayley, and when it's due, have a lovely homebirth - can't beat them.
Lorna

I have three kids. Son is 25. His full sister is 22. Their half sister is 9.

Personally I think the gap between the first two was fine. The gap between the girls is too much. Maybe I'm just getting old but I don't think I have the same patience with the youngest one.

I'm 32 now, and never had much patience to start with and still don't, but at least I'm consistent!  Decision time .............

I have 5 boys :D 11, 9, 5, 3, 22 months.
They are all brilliant and I love em all loads ( well they are in bed at the moment :D :D)
The 2 older ones argue 24/7 and so do the 5 and 3 year old, the baby beats them all up :D
Kelly

Lindylou..I couldn't disagree more ..I have FAR more patience with the younger two than I ever had with the older 3 :) Now the Grandchildren ...3 of them aged 4yrs ,3yrs and 1 month ....I AM running out of patience with :D :D :p :P

i have 4 sons of my own 16 14 13 and 10 my new kids of 3 years  marrided for 2nd time are now 23 17 not easy but wot is . ive had great time and bad , but hols  are great fun hard work getting there . but if you and hubby would like a new baby can cope etc money , you will have 1 more person to help to make our world better place to live in . know one nows wot will happen in 30 years time . love your kids and life you only get 1 go and dogs

I have 9 kids with varieing (sp) age gaps I have 2 years each between the older three and had three under 5 at one point it was ok I have 15 months between a couple of them that was hard going the biggest gap is 5 years and that was almost as hard as the smaller gap due to the fact I was out of practise I guess the best time is when you feel able to cope and as to wether 2 is enough only you can decide that I didnt decide to have 9 kids when I decided I was having them it just went that way no one else can decide for you. we also have a dog two cats a hamster and a rat and are thinking of getting another dog.
I must say having my last 4 I have found I am less stressed and more laid back thats not to say I dont have house rules and the like I am just not so fussy about them being so ridged as I was with the older 5 I have learned that being 5 minutes late doesnt mean the end of the world and if my ironing pile is larger than the washing pile who cares but me :-)
Maggie

Well I had my first two 14 months apart and they fought like cat and dog until the reached teenage years and then they became inseperable and still are.  My 3rd was 5 years after the first and fights with the older ones constantly.  The older two are on the same wavelength and even study together at college, where as the youngest one feels isolated from them and tries to act older.

Sue

Melody - at least you can hand the grandchildren back! ;) I find I have more time for my grandson (aged 4) than I do my youngest. I think it really is because I'd 'finished' having my kids after two - then got a surprise I wasn't prepared properly. :D

I don't get to see Ellie very often and Ben and Oliver only visit I don't *do* the Granny thing too often ;) :D

I have a girl about to turn 20 and a boy of 6   We needed 12 years to recover from the first !!!  The second one is a lot easier and if I'd had him first they would probably be closer in age :)  I don't think that being older has made me more patient, if I'd had the girl 6 years ago I don't think I could have coped at all   They get on really well tho and she is a great babysitter :D

Don't know if this helps you tho

Hi we have two girls the eldest almost 21 and my baby 19 .there is 21 months between them &like others have said it was hard going there for a while but they have allways been the best of friends ,i would hate it if they didn't get on .the only time sparks fly is when clothes that have been borrowed are not returned......then it's best to just get the hell out of there !!!Bye Sue & Lola xx

There exactly two years between my brother and I.  We scrapped like cat and dog for a while then I hit 13 he 15 and we haven't argued since.  We go out alot of the time and get on fine.  My daughter is an only child who is about to turn 9,  when we decided on having another one (spanish idiot) I did think about the age gap but thought I would love neither off them any different. Obviously I never had the second one but one day,  when that night comes along.

Hi Emma ,"when the night comes along "...???????, you are feeling better then !!!!lol Take care Sue & Lola xx

I've got a 20yr old daughter and 19yr old son who are 14 months apart in age.  It was very hard work at the time but then I was young and could cope.  I wouldn't have wanted to have repeated the pattern second time round as I just wouldn't have the energy.  10 years later I had another son who is now 10!!  My daughter is an angel, my eldest son a trial  (I think he went to the same "school" as Craigles son!!) and my youngest is just wonderful.  The older two always got on when younger but don't now, not for any other reason than they are just very different people, they both spoil the youngest (as we ALL do!).

IMHO there is no ideal age gap, it's just the luck of the draw although there is a lot of research being done on how your position in the family affects your personality, etc.  I wasn't able to have any more but when people asked me if there would be a 4th I used to say "no, I can't fit any more in the car" - practical but true!

Well, thank you for so many replies, gave us a lot of food for thought, and............................we have decided to go for it!  Who knows whether it will work, although we have conceived pretty quickly in the past, and at least this time we are not bothered what sex it is so I don't have to go thought the pain of timing etc!  I am very excited now, and being the impatient person I am I just want to be pregnant now!!!!!!  Sorted out some of my other kids baby and toddler clothes yesterday, and bought a baby magazine and some Pregnacare vitamins too so just need to start practicing!
Thanks again
Hayley

Are you taking your folic acid tablets as well !! :)

Good luck in the task ahead !! :D :D

There is 10 years between Flo and Indi and it is so good !! Flo is so good with Indi and Indi loves Flo to bits back !! They get on like a house on fire !! Flo takes an active role in things and loves feeding her and bath time is always a favourite !! :D

I like it this way as well as would find it a mare with more than one baby, toddler to run around to !!

Lucy
xx

ps give us an update when there are some positive results :D

Lucy's right about the folic acid tablets, they are a must when wanting to get pregnant, although i do not have any children it has been drilled into me by my mum that you need to start taking folic acid 3 month before trying for a baby and 3 months after becoming pregnant, you probably already know this but folic acid reduces the rick of spina bifida, so its well worth popping that little pill once a day :D

really hope you have some good news soon

Im feeling much better lol. Day or night really,  not that fussy lol.

i intend never to have kids, dont like em prefer me dogs :D but there are 18 mths between me and my older brother, then my sisters are 4 years younger, 13 and 19 years younger. when growing up i was the middle child and im told that i was the cause of all arguements, i started every one, im also told i used to bully my brother and eldest sister constantley, and im forever being reminded of when i threw a table at my brother and him ending up in hospital
and people ask me why i dont like kids and dont want any, but if i was to have kids and they were to be like i was as a kid then there is noway id cope.
but then if you wish to have another go for it :)
tanya

Thanks all, the Pregnacare contains Folic Acid so no problems there, I've even atarted eating healthier already and have stopped the wine (such a shame, as I was getting so good at it too) so everyone on CD needs to drink my share! :D
Will let you know any good news if and when it happens!

Well, there is 8 years between my brother and my self! It can be good at times, someone to look up to etc, but i think it is a bit like being an only child often, as he has now moved out and does not really communicate with me too well.