I am going to appologize in advance to the males on this board.  Don't take this personally, but as I was complaining to a friend about my OH, I came up with this question and wondered what other females from other walks of life had to say about it.

Why are guys so hard to communicate that they way they are approaching an issue is doing more emotional harm, than constructive good?  Why can't males be born with some level of emotional understanding?  They seem to see what is wrong in other people very well, but miss what they need to do to make things better.

Drai

It's probably to do with the 'macho' image, be strong, be supportive, be the provider etc. I guess it's instilled in them and it's hard for them to slip into an emotional situation and be seen as vulnerable.
IMHO
Besides the fact they will never understand us women being such complex beings lol. :D

I really don't think women are that complex.  I think for the most part girls are easy to keep content.  Complement us, surprise us now and then, hug and kiss us on a regular basis.  Tell us you love and appreciate us.  And be supportive in every aspect, and I think any female would be happy. 
Drai

Do you do the same for him and he doesn't return it?

no, im sorry - dont wanna be the evil male here but as a single guy it is soooo not that simple - if hugs and kisses and the odd little compliemnt was enough then i wouldnt be sat here now.

its easy, if your female to sit on here and get all the right answers to your posts as most of the posters are women. Trust me, as a man its never as straight forward as that

Oh what id give to find a woman where that really was enough....

Andy

I do things that I think he would like in hopes that one day he'll get the hint and do a few things back.  They can be little things, I really don't care.  Just so I know he still thinks I am special enough to exert a little effort.

Andy -  Honestly, I would be happy with those things right now.  With those things comes respect, trust and love.  All I am asking for now are baby steps.  I've been with the guy for almost two years.  I think he is starting to get complacient and take me for granted.

Drai (also known as Andi :)

Dont waste whats too shorta life waiting for a man to "notice" ,if he hasnt by now he probably wont. The thing to remember is :- Keep it short, keep it simple, keep it obvious. If its not spelled out in monosylabic black and white terms, he'll feel threatened, stamp on it and then shuuffle off into his cave to do some "fire staring" and contemplate the curiosity of "crazy women" My God, am I really that cynicall ??!!??

roflmao :D :P

Well, you girls have just reminded me why I choose to live on my own!! :p
I often wonder how men run their businesses or our country, and then remember that they have brilliant PAs (usually female!) who tell them what to do!!
Have a good day girls - I will!!  :D :D :D :D.

It's to do with evolution and cave men.  The men hunted and the women stayed close to home to look after the children.  Men would rely on physical strength to compete whilst women would use language to reason or gain advantage in an argument.  That's why men just grunt when you want to have a dam good argument.  Like if you leave a light on - it's the end of the world and we'll get an electricity bill that'll bankrupt us but if he leaves one on you just get a grunt.  And if the dogs are barking in the garden and you haven't heard them because you have your head stuck in the computer you can guarantee it wasn't him that left the back door open.  :D

Sally

It's because Men are from Mars and Women from Venus!!!  We speak different languages.

A great book to read is "Why Men Don't Listen and Why Women Can't Read Maps"!

:D brilliant book, got it when it first came out, its now my bible :)

steph.

but i can read maps...

Women are so complex, men are so straight forward, with a man, what you see is what you get, with a women you have to decipher the hidden agenda's, read minds and second guess.

Is it any wonder us poor simple creatures get it so wrong.

LOL @ Robert...Soooo right, and I'm a girlie :D - I'm a massive footie fan and I think that has helped my situation :D - We have sky sports new's on until about 9pm, football all weekend and a full house (with beers and snacks) when an England game is on!  If I didn't like football I'd be screwed :D...When I mingle with the footie crowd we can have a laugh and hurl abuse at each other, but I could never get away with that with girls  
Sarah (no, I don't look like a bloke :D)

Drai,

If he's not making you happy you're with the wrong man.  Men aren't all b**tards you know.  Some of them have feelings just the same as women.

Not me mind :D

my man is the same it because we are so diffrent to men that the problems come we had a row not long ago about how does he feel loved when i feel so unloved he says for a man the simple things like being with his family and feeling secure about it is enogh when we need a few hugs (would be nice ) a little i love you (would fit the bill ) but then we go without and get all upset and say things like " well you dont love me" etc men are fundimentally the same  read that book men from mars and woman are from venus and it help you communicate a bit more efficitatly ie if we say cor the bin needs doing ( for instance ) this has no results if we say "can you please empty the bin " this will (aparently ) get the job done .i think the thinking part is missing in the male i run a house hold of 6 people and i am the ONLY one who thinks of them all .

obviously not many of you met a real man then eh!!!

Geoff :)

p.s. men are from earth, women are from earth.... deal with it...

Geoff, you're not getting grumpy now are you?  ;)
Oh alright then, you can buy the drinks at Crufts :D

liberty :)

Hi libs.... no probs, don't ask me to keep up with you tho'

Geoff :)

Hi Geoff :) Don't worry, I'll be gentle with you

I'm there Thursday and Friday, I'll be lurking near the bar, :D  :D

liberty

oh dear.... I'm Sunday.... hmmm, actually I may be in Australia during Crufts, so might not get there at all :(

Geoff :)

:rolleyes: So, I'm stood up again *walks away, wiping tear from eye*

liberty-no-mates *sniff*

Ooooh come here libs.... (((((((((((((((x))))))))))))))))

There hows that ........ feel better now?, blow your nose & have another glass of wine....

Geoff :)

Aaawh thanks Geoff *wiping away tears* feel much better for the cyber hug :) Oooh glass of wine *slurp*
I don't care what they say about you, I think you're an O.K. bloke ;)

liberty :)

Can you two go somewhere a bit more private.   You're embarrassing Norman :D

Just cos you can't get fairy wings, no need to get grumpy, if you do........ I'll cry .........

Ummmm, Norman should be in bed actually..... has he seen the time...

Geoff :)

G3off,

Norman has BEEN to bed and vomited in it!  Why do you think I'm still up annoying you two?  I'd love to leave you in peace but I refuse to sleep on a damp bed.

However, in the interests of romance I will not interfere.  Valentine's Day is just round the corner and I'd hate to interrupt something that could be beautiful.

Night

Joe :)

There's nothing worse than having to lie in a wet patch Joe....

Night night evryone

Geoff :)

there ya go, see girls.... we're not all bad you know....

Geoff :)

p.s. I think you're an ok girlie too ;)

:D   :D  :D

liberty :)

Bugger can't believe I missed the chance to moan how rubbish boys are. Self centred, nasty, unpredictable lower form of the human race. mumble mumble....But I have some excellent male friends who are sensitive and caring. A side which thier wives never see