Here are some logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by quantum pilots. The pilot logs them on a flight and gives the sheet to the tech
p = the problem reported by piot
s = The solution by the engineers

p  suspec crack in windscreen
s  suspect your right

p number three engine missing
s engine found on the right wing after a brief search

p Aircraft handles funny
s  Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

p Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget with a hammer
s  Took hammer away from midget

p dead bugs on windscreen
s live bugs on order

     

:D :D :D :D

what about this:

Points to ponder...

I wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's a*se".

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Tell you what i have often wondered
If there is always someone worse off than yourself
Who is the worst off and by god what a bad time HE must have

In this life there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will be rich or poor.

If you are rich, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you are poor, there are only two things to worry about.

Either you will be healthy or sick.
If you are healthy, there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about.
Either you will live or you will die.

If you live, there is nothing to worry about.
If you die there are only two things to worry about.

You will either go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, there will be nothing to worry about.

If you go to hell, you'll be so darn busy shaking hands with all your friends,
you won't have time to worry . ! ! !

How does the man that drives the snow plough get to work?