Hi.
I know this is not doggy related- but what do you do when people are getting you down about things such as your looks, friends, lifestyle, character, likes/dislikes etc? Sorry to post this, but i am depressed at the mo about all of the above... and more which i do not dare to share. Sorry... What do you all do and have you ever felt like this? (crying at night, wishing you were someone else ect?)

Thanks.
PS i am ** and owner of a lovely puppy wheaten- the only thing which keeps me happy!

Admin: do not post your age in posts Saffy. It could be dangerous

-thanks admin.-

I take it that no one else feels like me, and no one has ever lelt like this? oh well... better go off and eat chocolate!

Saffy

I think most people will agree that at some time or other they will have felt like that. If there are things that are really worrying you is there anyone you can confide in, mum, aunt, teacher, friend etc? Being a teenager is o ne of the most difficult periods of your life as you travel from childhood to adulthood and the world and the people and behaviours in it take a long time to understand (if ever). Try and pick out all the good things about your life and focus on them. If there are things that upset you try and think of things that you can do to solve them. But most of all, please don't think that you are the only one that feels that way as it happens to most people.

And chocolate?? Very, very nice, short term mood enhancer so if it makes you feel better go for it! A good comedy movie/programme is also a tonic.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Andi.
It is just some times (like now!) that it gets the better of me...
I confide in some things with my best friend, but i dont think she will understand a lot of it, 9i am very emotional and sensitive) so i dont bother telling her.
I cant talk to my mum because we are not really close... I do get red in the face talking about a lot of personal stuff with her... had our ups and downs if you know what i mean.

As for an auntie, well, i have 1 auntie who i love so much, but we have moved away from our family, so there is only the phone to keep in contact. Ny aunite is also having a v. bad time at the mo, so i cant bother her. I used to talk to her wheni got upset, but now she is in different circumstances.

I cant see how people can talk to teachers about personal stuff. Even if you see them as a friend (whch one of them i do), i couldnt bare the thougth of teling them secrets...

Thanks all the same.

Hello Saffy, when people get at me I usually say a few choice words and do what I want anyway. Plate chucking and boxercise keep my temper in bounds. But I do cry sometimes. On Monday I went home from classes and cried because I was so upset by the class bossy boots niggling me about my dog. Try practisng verbal putdowns in front of the mirror so you have their answer ready for them and remember, the put down merchants only do it because theyre insecure themsleves.

Dont tell anyone I cry will you its so bad for my reputation... :)

Alison

ure secret is safe with me Lorelei lol.
I think it is the "popular" people who have a go at me. I am a human being, and because i may not be as pretty or as confident as them, i dont see y they have to be so rude. Sepecially in front of their mates... it really gets me down. One girl in particular. I think she is only horrible and mean to get attention, because if she was quiet, then she would get picked on because she is not fantastically pretty... not that it matters to me, but it matters to her about other people!

Saffy
just remember only insecure and frightened people feel the need to belittle others to make them "feel" good.
Confident happy people dont have to be horrible to others to get a quick laugh or whatever
You are much better than them so ignore even when it is hard .
Lel

Oh Saffy, trust me, we've all felt like that many times in our lives, so don't start thinking it's not normal. Sometimes everything just gets you down, then puts the boot in just to make sure! But just as surely things get better, you learn who your real friends are, and to take no notice of the others. Nobody is perfect - we all have things we'd like to change about our looks etc (I could do with rubbing out and starting again!)

Remember, people who matter don't mind about things like that (they like you anyway) and the ones who do mind about such things don't matter!

And chocolate is a great comforter - I like Galaxy or Lindor for those misery-moments.

Chin up - you're as good as anyone else! So there!
:)

awww... thanks JG!

You have made me all emotional now! that is how i feel about my self and other people. Thanks you guys. It is so much easier to talk over the net about things like this, rather than face to face, so you have really helped! plus- none of you know me (i dont think you do anyway!) so i feel better about this not slipping out...

People think I'm mad when I say I'd never go back to my teenage years again - but feeling like you do now was how I spent most of my years from 13 - 21 - family didn't help (I'm overweight, always have been) and I was struggling to accept myself, which wasn't easy without their help. But deep down inside I knew I was OK, I'd never done anything REALLY bad (just a few things I wasn't proud of :( ) and you just have to keep putting one foot infront of the other. Above all - keep smiling 'cos it drives *them* nuts trying to work out what you're smiling about ;)

Keep your head high look in the mirror & tell yourself you are just as pretty as the rest cos i bet you are. Give your puppy a big cuddle this always helps. Whats puppys name

Jean x

My puppy is called Mollie (yep, with an ie) . Thanks for your support. You have made me feel a bit better. thanks. It just shows that the people who are doing this to me are strange, and i am the one who is normal as it happened to other people too!!

Oh Saffy, I do feel for you. When I was in my teens (a few? years ago) I was teased because I wear glasses. (Bottle caps, anyone?) My brothers teased me all the time about my weight, my hair (anyone remember Crystal Tips and Alistair?) and anything they could think of. I used to go to my room and cry a lot too. My mum was good in that she told them off, but never tried to find out how I felt.

I used to go to my room, with bars of chocolate, put the music on and read a book. Stuff everyone else, I was happy. Now I go to my room (sorry, kitchen) open the fridge, find a nice drink (cold coke is good) bars of chocolate or ice-cream (preferrably ice-cream in coke :D) and put the play station on. Great fun, and no-one to annoy me. The dogs give good cuddles too ;)

People only do stuff like that to make them self feel better. They don't care who they hurt as long as they are not the ones on the other end :( It's usually when they get older they realised what they did when they were younger and think back how awful they were to some one but by then its way to late. :(

I always think people bug people and say thing because they them self are jelious or feel insecure about something. It takes a better person to realize how sad they actually are and me personally I would truely feel so sorry for them.

I usta feel the same when I was younger felt depressed all the time, crying and just sad (very long story). I would sit and write peotry all the time not really for anyone to read but for myself to get my feelings out and it helped alot.

keep your chin up :) People can be so cruel....definately would take my pets to most people anyday :)

If you could see inside the heads and hearts of other people your age I think you would be surprised to find they feel the same as you do, some will feel even worse, but like you they put a brave face on things and only cry when they are on their own. Bet you won't believe it but most people have felt just as you do, it is not till you are older that you realise just how hard this growing up business can be.

Don't know if it will help you but it did me, I used to write down every thing that upset me, made me cross, made me feel small and then put it in a private place to look at when I felt a bit better, you know when something goes right or you get a bit of praise. Anyway, when you do look, you will find that some of the things you wrote down are either too silly for words or you don't feel like that anymore. I used to put a red pen through the things that did not apply anymore, but when something else upset me I would add it. You will see that nothing is bad for very long and something’s are just not worth the worry. If you find that there is one thing that is always on your list then perhaps you could speak to your teacher or someone you trust just about that one thing, so you don’t sound too much like a winger, I am sure if you ask your teacher for help on something that won’t go away, they will help, most people like to help if they can and feel flattered to be asked, so go on make someone’s day by asking for help.

Hope you feel better soon, talking to someone is best but if you can't, then write it down, it helped me, it may help you.

As the others have said, most of us have felt like that at some point or another....i too would hate to go back to being a teenager, it was a horrible time in my life and im only just coming out the other side of it now.

What HAS helped me are my true friends, and my dogs.....and the lovely ppl i have met and made friends with via the net (it IS possible to do that, so long as you are very very careful).

I am v wary of mentioning my problems on here, as i mentioned them on another board once, and was accused by a very nasty man of trying to get sympathy....he even suggested that i didnt own a dog!!!!!!!!...but whilst it was horrible for this unknown person to have a go at me, on the other hand it made me realise i was getting better, because i didnt actually care that much....he didnt know me, and i didnt respect him at all, so his opinions meant nothing.

Next time someone has a go at you, says soemthing mean...think to yourself 'do i actually care what you think? do i respect you? No, so what you say means nothing!'

That kind of thing has helped me to believe in myself...so much so that a few weeks back i sent some of my writing off to a dog magazine to be considered for publication.......and its been accepted!
So, try not to worry, you ARE normal, and more than that you ARE a worthwhile person, with your own opinions, beliefs etc, so try not to let other ppl drag you down.

Take care,

Em

Saffy from reading your posts it sounds as if youre being bullied. Is there a teacher/youth leader/adult friend/parent you can tell? Bullies are insecure people who need help as much as those they pick on so the sooner you tell someone who can help the better. This is not something people can deal with alone, so speak up.

Just to cheer you up, I used to get isolated and picked on by the "cool" people at school too and being unpopular upset me. BUt after leaving school none of these popular and cool people achieved very much in life at all, while Ive achieved my goals and have loads of true friends. Shattered them, right:) Youll have the last laugh, honey dont you worry.:)

Saffy try very hard to get someone to speak to about this because when they leave you alone they will just move on to someone else. Be very brave go do it tell someone

Jean

Way to go Em! You'd better keep us posted. That's seriously exciting. What's the topic?

Saffy, I hope it works out for you. Actually, it will, but you've just got to suss the right way through it. At the end of the day, don't judge yourself on their terms - if you like who you are, then who the hell is anyone else to say differently? Tell'em to go forth and multiply!

Good luck. We've all been there. Those who haven't doubted themself at some point is a big old fibber. :D

Jo

hey hun i know how you feel. i have hadd all that upset and have gone to extrem things which made it worse.

i could tell you it will get better blah blah blah but im not so sure on that. for me personally i ahve just learnt to ignor what people say. i once read in a mag to look at your good points so i style my hair, keep my nails in good condition andstarted exercising more to get rid of stress. Now people just leave me be.

just be strong, walk everywhere as if you own it (but dont get cocky!!!!!) and love life (you have a wheaten puppy!)

good luck

Rox

am going to take practical approach im afraid - two words f**k em. they will soon realise where they are going and by the time they do you will already be well on your way to something far better.

Not worth the stress.

sorry for the language ppl but hey, it works!

Well I couldn't of said better myself.
I used to be much the same. Id say its only in the last 7 months Ive totally looked at all the things I have (not what I want) and throw all my energy into what makes me happy. I used to get stressed out about making everyone else happy. I forgot about myself.
Well I know this is a big boast but at 30 I have never loved life quite so much as I do now. I wake up and think I wonder what today will bring. Grab, Bradley (boxer) go outside and take the biggest bite out of life I can. Remember its the small things that count.
Emma
P.S Life has not been to kind to me. Among friends Im known as the most unlucky person they have met. If its going to happen it will happen to me. But hey I bounce. Its not whats happened its they way you deal with it that counts. Go on Saffy take a little nibble its infectious.