Hi there no doubt i have posted in the wrong bit.sorry!!!I need help.Last time i bred one of my poms a friend wanted one for absolutely nothing.She has got 2 kids that have no respect at all for any animal.What i said to her last time was you wont have to pay the going price,meaning i would sell it to her cheaper.Anyway she took that to mean freebie.And i know its really wrong but i told this friend that the one she wanted had died.I know evil arent i.I just didnt know what to say.So whenevr she came round i hid him over the road at my friends.(god i sound so bad).Anyway havent seen them literally since i said that.I got a phone call a bit ago saying has sherry had pups yet.When i said yes she asked if it was still ok to have one.I didnt know what to say,but they are coming over tonight to have a look.How shall i put it that she cant have one for free and she cant have one full stop because she has kids from hell.But theres no point me saying that they probably wouldnt suit the kids because she thinks they are angels.
please help
Deb

Oooooh Dilemma! I think it's very cheeky of her to think she can have one for free - what about all your time and effort for a start? A friend of mine got a dog from her sister and still paid her for it.

Don't know what to suggest - could you not say they have all been picked already?

its such grief but when i told her the other one had died she automatically assumed the next time i bred one of them she was gonna have one.Im stuck but i also cant let her have one i mean bloody hell i gave her my sphynx cat for nothing,cause it didnt get on with the dogs.I really dont know how to put it nicely, i mean i would never drem of asking for anything for nothing.Especially a puppy that some1 has spent all there time and money on.

Hi Claire, I think I would act really cheery and say to her, I can`t believe it, (the phones never stopped ringing) all the pups are actually booked and i`ve actually got £xxx amount of pounds that I wanted for them as well. I think I deserve the money cos after all i`ve paid enough out in food, vets bills etc plus all the caring i`ve done for them. Then change the subject and offer a cup of tea. I`m a hopeless liar but I couldn`t bear the thought of my pup going to a home with kids that I knew were horrors.

You have got to be brutally frank and explain your reasons why you think it is not a good idea. If she is a true friend she will accept it. If she doesn't will it be a great loss ? The pups welfare is the utmost importance here ! :)

HTH

Lucy

Hi Deb
I know it is really tough...but your friend is an adult and cant seriously expect to get a puppy for free....can she not afford one? If that is the case, then I would re-consider her having one at all.
But, I would have to be brutally honest. I once had a reall bad dilema with a friend, and after a lot of advice (and a glass of dutch courage) I stood up to her.
For all you know, she might totally understand...and if not, then is she really a friend, or just someone who wants a free dog from you. No tmuch of a loss, and you will be angry at yourself for a long time if you do give in.
Tell her the truth, explain that there is no profit to be made in breeding, and you have put a lot of money into the litter and mother, expensive vet bills etc...you charge for them to breakeven...that would surely make her feel guilty for wanting one for free.Good luck

Yeah think i will drink lots of beer and hope it comes out right ,i mean i cant very well say look your kids are horrible and you are total scroungers can i???If only it was that easy well thanks for all your help but they wont get it.But there is no way on this earth that i would let her have a puppy if she paid let alone for free.I ve just got to be honest i suppose god i cant wait.There kids will be wailing and they will be moaning it will all end in tears.But least i suppose they dont get one of my babies,and i suppose at worst they will never forgive me and not talk to me again like you say no great loss.Has anybody else ever had a friend or someone you know expect one for nothing?Im not being mean if i didnt know them and they turned up at my door to buy one i would say no straight away.Ive spent the last week bottle feeding them dont want them to go to complete loons.

Hi Deb, I'm new here.
I also agree, it would be best to be brutally honest to your friend. If she really is a friend, then she will understand, if not...... then you're better off without her "friendship"

Thanks guys i will let you know how i get on later.Sometimes friends are so much stress.(not the good ones though)

Wow i would of had your cat to go with my siamese !!!no breeders around my county ! and paid for it as they are so rare !!

You must tell your friend the situation , if she falls out with you she wasnt a friend worth keeping .I am with you though and understand why you told her pup had died !

Serin if ever they cant keep it i will let you know,but no doubt they will sell it.Thanx for the advice though.I do actually know a lady who breeds them every now and again i will have an ask for you see what she has.

Can you not tell her they all have been reserved ?? as a responsible breeder you have the right to vet new owners and their lives !! if she was not a friend you would turn her away wouldnt you !! so dont beat yourself up tell her you dont think she is right for your pups now or ever !! ( you can think of subtle wording (lie)) Good luck sounds like its really eating you up .

tell her they are all spoken for except one and it would be totally unsuitable for anyone with hyper active kids.if she asks what you mean....take a deep breath and let her have it lol.

rofl :D :D : @ tanni!

To be honest deb..although all the ideas are great, honesty would be best, because...when you have your next litter...you might find yourself going through all this again....if you tell her now, you will never have itmentioned again.
Think of your pups..I know if it was me, I would be incredibly protective and paranoid about them...anyone who falls into even vaguely "just" suitable....would not get one.

And...dont forget that beer..tell you what...I'll have one for you as well :D lol

Its quite true actually Deb, a load of beer and tell her the truth, she might think you`re loaded because of all the pups you`ve sold and ask you for a loan. :D then you`re stuck !!!

Hilary

If i was you i'd phone her before she comes with the kids (saves on the upset) and tell her the truth, you don't want them around kids!
You sound responsible and i'm sure you'll do the right thing, quite frankly she is one friend you could do without.
Would she get a pup at all if it wasn't free?
What if it goes wrong? You will more than likely get the pup back with it's problems!

Sarah

no she wouldnt get a pup if she paid me a million she isnt getting one regardless.They were all reserved before they were even born.I did tell her this a while back.But you know what some people are like cant quite seem to understand what it is you are saying to them.Well she will know soon.

I too would call her before she comes over and tell her the truth, really what is a true friend if you can't be truthful....Good luck

One of my friends wanted a puppy off us, her kids are very horrible and she doesn't have the time for any animals. I told her straight out No I would not sell you one. We are still friends. She can visit and play with her moms dogs, and when their is a problem she calls me. I did tell her when her kids are older and she is able to give the time needed for a dog I will help her find the right breed and help her out. She does no they are alot of work, time and money. just like raising another child.

A SPHYNX ooooooow she is soooooooooo lucky. I just love them. Told hubby I want one but he won't let me pay NO $2000 or more for a cat :( Thats ok I guess cause I'll always have my dogs.

My single mother friend with 2 young babies, (1 and 2 years) gave me her cat recently becuase she couldn't look after it. shortly after she gave birth to a litter of kittens. When i told her she said " Oh i really want a couple of kittens for the girls, do you have a girl and a boy?" She only expected us to give her the kittens for free! Theres no way she could've looked after them, and there is no way she would spay or neuter them so they would just keep breeding - the last thing she needed - she can barely look after the babies and herself already. She also demanded that they were completely litter trained before she had them, thats like asking a breeder to toilet train a puppy first. I didn't know what to say as she is one of those over bearing people that you daren't say anything nasty to. A couple of weeks later she phoned my house when i wasn't there and my mum answered. She said " Oh did Lucy tell you i'm having two kittens?" so what did my mum say - " No you're not!" (Shes very blunt is my mum!!) So that was the end of that - i haven't spoken to her since mind you, no real great loss though. They are my babies!!

I wish your mum was here last night,would of put her straight.,i did put her straight though i mean they are poms have you seen a puppy pom.Tiny.Then she said its ok the kids have a great respect for animals.I almost burst out laughing.And then as i turned round one of the kids had one of the older poms swinging him betwwen her legs.Needless to say i screamed at the kid and told her i think she should get something else.But then he growled at her.Never done it before ever.Hes too sweet to be mean.And then she said well if we get it from a puppy it will be used to us all.So before the end of the night i made it VERY clear not in this lifetime would i let her have one.She had the major sulks and couldnt understand why,so now shes going to look in the papers and on the net for one.I pity that poor puppy i really do.But thanks for all your help.

Good for you.

Well done. Any other reputable breeder she contacts will ask all the relevant questions and unless she lies through her teeth they won't let her have one of theirs.
This happened to me but I found out the truth before it was too late and took the pup back and it went to a caring loving home.

Well done you for telling her!

Have to say, i dont breed, but i wouldnt let anyone with kids like that in my house! Never mind trust them with a dog!!!!!!!!

I have a friend who also expects things for free.....currently she is redoing her bathroom, spending a couple of K on it. Its tiny, and has no window, so she has asked me to come and paint a window scene on the wall over the sink.
Now, ive spent several weeks coming up with various designs bought in a lot of the paints ill need, gone to massive trouble borrowing a big tilty technical desk thingy off a mate halfway across the country, so i can do the final design plan to scale......thats not including actually painting it, which will take me around 6-9 hours, in a horribly cramped space, up and down ladders.....

But because im not a proffessional, because i have no qualifications, because i enjoy arty stuff, she has just revealed that she isnt going to pay me for anything.....was astounded that i even asked for the cost of the materials!!!!!! Its not even as if id ask for money, i usually do stuff like this on a barter/payment in kind sorta way....last thing i did was a tattoo design, for which i recieved a fantastic book about lurchers :0), thats the way it works.......

Anyways, will have to work out a way of saying to her, 'u no pay up, i no do job' soonish, as her new bathroom is nearly finished!

Em

Well done Pomchi, you will never regret it :) You would have worried so much about the safety of any puppy you gave her.

Theemx,

How dare your 'friend' expect you do all that work for nothing and supply the materials as well, she obviously is willing to spend cash when it suits her. You need to count up the number of hours you have already worked on the designs, also add the hours to actually do the job (always takes longer than you think it will) and then multiply the result by whatever hourly rate is fair (not less than the minimum wage) and add on the cost cost for materials. This will give you a starting price. The actual price is (no less than this) what you think the the general public would be willing to pay (ring around a few decorators for a ballpark idea). This is the price she should pay. It doesn't matter whether you are 'professional' or have 'qualifications' - she obviously thinks you are 'qualified' to do the job or she wouldn't have asked.

Personally, if she still wouldn't pay, but insisted that you promised, I would paint a rectangle of a different shade to the paint on the wall and tell her " you can't see the window because the curtains are drawn". when she complains about it just say "its what you paid for" - as she hasn't paid anything its all she should expect.

Good Luck

Regards
Dill ( who can't abide being taken for a ride)

Hi Theemx,i, like you do work for friends (i am currently studing Interior design,or upgrading ,i first studied this subject about 10 years ago )i am hoping to start up my own buisness ,,but mostly enjoy doing work for friends,i too work by bartering ,at least this way no one gets away with expecting something for nothing ...."you scratch my back and i'll scratch yours !! its always worked for me ..and if money is involved you get that sorted out from the start.....! nothing parts friends faster than money !!!!!!!Take Care Sue & Lola xx

Well Done!
I bet it was a huge weight off your shoulders....and I would have felt like grabbing the child and swinging it around as well...see if they like it!

Thanks everyone the woman is insane even though i told her no way not ever she rang me up today telling me she would swap something for one.No idea what dont care.I just told her its not about the money its just i dont want one of my babies around those children because it will all end in tears.Thick skinned or what