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Topic Other Boards / Foo / how to dissuade a friend
- By lel [gb] Date 10.09.03 17:54 UTC
I have been approached by a friend of a friend looking for a Staffordshire puppy .
The lady looking for the pup has two children and to be fair I dont think she would be able to manage with a pup as well . :(
I have mentioned that having a pup is hard work and it will be like having a third child . They also need a lot of exercise and a firm hand and I just cannot imagine her coping with the young children and a Staffy pup . She also works part time .
She keeps asking me for information on Staffy breeders and I really dont want her get a pup as I know it will probably end up being rehomed in the future .
Do you think I'm wrong in assuming this - I really dont want to see another staffy rescue.
Can anyone offer any advice in trying to dissuade her or is it just me ???
I really would like someviews on this -
Lel
- By Admin (Administrator) Date 10.09.03 18:05 UTC
I would provide her with as much information as possible about the breed, worts'n'all and allow her to make her own mind up.
- By lel [gb] Date 10.09.03 18:13 UTC
Thanks Admin -I have tried to mention things to her.
I have mentioned the mouthing .
I am exprienced with Staffys and I couldnt see myself with two little 'uns and Gus as well so I think thats whats worrying me :( even though I had my first Staffy when son no.1 was just 12 months .
- By Melodysk [gb] Date 10.09.03 18:34 UTC
Lel , I get stopped and asked about Malamutes ALL the time ...when asked by someone who has no idea about what is involved in coping with a Malamute I am at pains to express how AWFUL they are .....how disobedient they are....how hard it is to hold one ... anything I can think of in fact to try and put them off ;)
- By mr murphy [gb] Date 10.09.03 18:10 UTC
Hi lel

I have fell out with people about this topic. I have told people straight that I dont think they should have dogs at all and they have took the huff. If the person involved doesnt want to be advised they will do what they want any way. If they fall out with you then you wont know what is happening to the wee dog. If you dont fall out with them you may not want to know what is happening. Its a bit of a catch 22. This is why I think everyone who wants a dog should have to go through some sort of training for a certificate to handle the type of dog they want. This would help to stop the daftys from having dogs as it would be too much hassle for them. They would need to find something else to ruin.
You could try what admin says and get her loads of horror storys on the breed she wants.

Mick
- By lel [gb] Date 10.09.03 18:16 UTC
Thanks Mick
although she hasnt actually met Gus ( who I might add is a sweetie but a handful at times too) I just know in my heart of hearts it wouldnt work and they would rehome the pup :( :(
- By kazz Date 10.09.03 18:29 UTC
Okay Lel,

Just to say similar to Mr Murphy I have fallen out with people over this too sorry to say.

But just an idea why not say to her how about popping around to yours with the children/hubby and meeting a Stafford in his own home. Actually I think this might be a good idea for all potential dog owners meet the breed of their choice in their own homes.

Other than that you can only hope if she carries on anyone selling pups would suss her out an not sell her one.
Karen
- By lel [gb] Date 10.09.03 18:31 UTC
That is what I am hoping Karen - that a breeder will say no but you and me both know how easy it is to get a dog :(
- By kazz Date 10.09.03 18:42 UTC
I know Lesley, I know.



Karen
- By archer [gb] Date 10.09.03 19:45 UTC
I would try to give her all the 'gorey' details of puppies in general.For example tell her about the little 'parcels' left hidden in the grass that the children stand in and tread through the house and the piddle puddles that you don't see happen till the kids sit in it!!!Tell her they happened to you or a freind(maybe not true but they do happen!!) and if they don't put her off then maybe she needs help and advice rather than putting off.
Archer
- By lucyandmeg [gb] Date 11.09.03 22:22 UTC
Would a good breeder let her have a pup? The trouble is in this situation they don't want to listen. My friend is 20 with a 2 year old and a one year old living by herself on benefits and to be honest she cant even look after herself let alone her kids! (Not that i am saying that your friend is like this!) When the first child was young i took in her cat whom she couldn't look after, wasn't feeding her or cleaning up after her e.t.c. A few months down the line she is pregnant again and i get a random text from her inviting me to bring my recently acquired BC pup round to play with her new BC pup!! I was fuming and let her know. She got the pup from the same place as i did and they share the same father. They are from working stock and as most border collies are, completely nuts, they need constant exercise and stimulation. As she was living in a two up two down house with a garden smaller than her living room this was less than ideal. She had no car, lived in an estate with no walks around her and no one to help. Not surprisingly she took him out on the first day without any injections, dragging him and pushchair up the highstreet. Things went from bad to worse as she couldn't control him, he was basically living in the garden with no shelter, thrown across the room if he messed in the house and never went for walks. I couldn't belive her friend with a child had actually taken her to get this pup. Anyway in the end my friends parents agreed to foster him whilst she gave birth to the second child and needless to say she never got him back. Now her cat that we have has given birth to kittens (long story) and she wants a male and a female kitten for her children. What on earth do 1 and 2 year old children want them for?! She won't get them done and she will end up with kittens of her own - if they stayed around for long enough. (She is not having them!!)
I think this rather long story is a one off, i am sure your friend is not in any way as irresponsible but i think parents of young children seem to think they have to get their children a pet, but don't think of the trouble involved. For example taking a pup for a walk with a huge pushchair or toilet training when you are trying to feed the kids. Its hard even for some one without kids. However i think i am preaching to the converted.
One thing my friend said was that the breeder she got her pup from also breed westies. my friend has originally gone for the BC's but showed an interest in the westies but was turned down flat. The breeder said she would never sell pups to someone with young children. (God knows why she sold them the collie then, quick sale maybe). Although i am told staffies have a good reputation with kids, do you think a good breeder would sell them to her? Unfortunately i think this is going to be one of those cases where they are going to have to learn from their mistakes, unfortunately at the pup's detriment. Its awful!
- By gwen [gb] Date 12.09.03 13:33 UTC
It does sound a recipe for disaster, but when people have made up their minds they just dont want the good advice. A couple of years ago a firend of mine, recently divorced, decided that the thing she needed and wanted most in life was a Boxer pupl She worked full time, sometimes long hours, had an immaculate, beautifully and expensively decorated new home, and I just new a puppy would be a disaster. I gave her all the reasons, and she would not be swayed - she made arrangements for dog sitters and walkers for through the day, got a cage, and trawled the papers for a pup (I refused to put her in touch with a breeder!) eventually she found a litter, and went to pick her pup. I relented a little at this time, becuasse as she was going ahead with it regardless I wanted to make sure a) she got a healthy pup and b) the breeders were fully aware of the situation.

The pup was just waht she had imagined, a flashily marked red boy, and she named him Oscar. The breeder were not pup off by the long hours and living arrangements, and he travelled home with us. Everything was Ok at the baby stage. She got a bit exasperated at the piddles, poohs and chewing, but had a area of the garden paved, and was ordering an outdoor kennel and run for the summer. As he got to the leggy, naughty age, she was amazed when he chewed on everything in sight, furniture, clothes, shoes, door frames etc. Of course, the house training was slow as it was being handled by 3 seperate people. At 6 months I got a phone call - Oscar was going to live with a friend of hers in the countryside, who had a big garden, a labrador, and was home all day. He is happy, she has her beautiful home back without further damage. I have never been able to understand why the breeder was willing to sell to her in the first place.
bye
Gwen
- By Suzanne [gb] Date 12.09.03 17:18 UTC
I have 2 young children (2 and 3) and also 2 staffies. It is a lot of hard work, but we always find time to take care of our dogs as they should be. We are lucky in a way as we have a nice field just across the road, so lots of walkies over there :) The dogs adore the kids, and the kids adore the dogs, although they do need reminding at times to be gentle with them. I would suggest that maybe the lady you are talking about should consider a rescue dog and not a pup, pups are extremely hard work and sometimes training doesnt always go to plan. Hope it all gets soterd out ok, and that she doesnt end up with a pup she cant cope with :(
- By lel [gb] Date 12.09.03 18:41 UTC
I know people with young children can have dogs/pups in the family as well without any problems whatsoever but I dont think this particular family could coe .
I have another friend with two young children and wouldnt see a problem with this family :)
- By kazz Date 12.09.03 21:16 UTC
Lel,

I don't think it matters if they are young or old with or without children it's the PEOPLE themselves.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to own a stick insect never mind a puppy.

Karen
- By Lisa-safftash [gb] Date 15.09.03 00:47 UTC
Hiya Lel,

I don't know whether it's just me or what...but I seem to get a feeling about people....I've had this 'feeling' a few times, and have said no to potential puppy owners. I can't explain it....they seem like great people, and maybe they would have been good owners. I've felt guilt afterwards, but hubby has always said, if it doesn't feel right...it's not right.

I don't think there's any easy way of telling people that, and at the end of the day, if they want to do it, they're going to do it, with or without your help aren't they?

I try and dissuade people by telling them all the bad points of the the breed....but if someone has their heart set on something, you're not going to be able to stop them.

It's very sad, and I'm like you....I'd hate to see another dog in rescue, it#s heartbreaking....but there's only so much we can do unfortunately.

Sorry I can't be of more help,

Take care

Lisa
- By Julia [gb] Date 15.09.03 09:12 UTC
Here here.
- By ClaireyS Date 15.09.03 21:48 UTC
That is so true. I used to work in a pet shop and occasionally we sold baby rabbits, these were pedigrees and were basically surplus to the requirements of a local show breeder. Sometimes we just had to refuse to sell them, you would see mothers come in with a couple of unruly kids which she just couldnt control and they would decide they wanted a rabbit, after trying to disuade her we would always end up saying a flat no, what more could we do, those rabbits would end up with broken backs if we let them go home with those kids. Its not the same with all kids though, I was brought up with all sorts of animals and they never came to any harm, its just some people you do get that "feeling" sometimes its obvious why and sometimes not so obvious but either way its better to say no.
Topic Other Boards / Foo / how to dissuade a friend

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