I really need someone to tell me I am doing the right thing.
As you might be aware, I've got a X GSD, who's 12, called Tess. She was a rescue pup, brought in to the centre with her brothers and sisters after being dumped in a back lane aged about 6 weeks, ish. I was there just as she was brought in, and she's been with me ever since.
She is the most gorgeous, loving, loyal, obedient dog there ever was. Has been by my side through loads of things. ....the birth of my 2 boys,andshe mothered them, used to let them hold on to her when they were trying to walk, etc, during my marriage break up, my new partner coming in to our family, God she has helped me through many a difficult time. Whe ever I would cry she would come up to me ad put her face into mine for a cuddle. She really is soo sensitive.
She got over cancer 2 years ago, then got arthritis. She's almost blind, and is suffering with incontinence now. She is showing symptoms of an enlarged heart, and liquid filling the lungs now...this is according to my sister who has worked at a vet's in Nottingham for years. Altho not medically trained formally, she has witnesses and experienced lots.
The thing is, for all she is being treat for her various ailments, she really does not seem happy anymore. She used to adore going to new places and for a paddle, but not anymore.
I don't want her to suffer because of my selfishness, (I won't do that to her) but nor do I want to end it for her if she still has time left.
I brought my new Basset pup home the other day and she hasn't even gave him any attention at all, which is sooo unlike her. I don't feel I can appreciate my new baby because I am soo worried about Tess.
Last night she lay on the floor and just stared at me, and stared and stared, with really meaningful eyes. I really thought she was telling me something. I am crying as I'm writing cos my girl means the world to me and to even think about not having her is heart breaking. I don;t want to keep her going if she is not having a good quality of life, her feelings come first, but I feel guilty also, in case she is ot ready to go.
When she first had Propalin fo rthe incontinence is stopped, now she's peeing all over. I could handle that, it's not a problem to clean up after all she has given me. Her arthritis oly used to bother her in the winter time's but now she's getting really stiff in the summer. She spends most of her time asleep in her bed, which is in the dining room. Have tried bringing her bed in the living room, but she then goes out and lies on the carpet in the dinig room. It's as tho she can't be bothered with company. The only thing now that causes her to wag her tail is when I talk to her or love her...no-one else, but me. And she used to love attention.
I think in my heart I know she is ready, but I need to be sure. How do you know when the time is right?? Am I being cruel in keeping her going, and hoping the meds keep her going???
Please give me some advise.
Oh, she still barks like mad when at the window cleaner or the bin men, and she's still eating her food..altho she is a fussy madam. But I think she's allowed to be.
Stephanie xx

Hi Stephanie - so sorry to hear about your beloved dog. I think everyone who has had the privilege of owning such a true canine friend finds it difficult to make the decision which you are struggling with at the moment. But, from what you have written I think you know what has to be done. Perhaps the medication will keep her going for a while longer but for what purpose ? sad though it is she will never be as she used to be - at this stage the quality of her life is more important than the quantity.

Not meaning to sound harsh but letting them go is often kinder than letting them struggle on. But it's certainly not easy.

Thinking of you

Joyce

Oh Stephanie, i am so sorry but she is trying to tell you to be brave and to let her go the stares are the only way they can try to tell you they have had enough oh god i am crying as i write this down as it is still hurting me as mine was pts a few months ago give her a big hug and get your vet to come (be brave for her this is the very last gift you can give her( peace).

Im going to post this and I hope it will make you decide that you must let her go if her lungs are filling up thats what happened to my William and the vet said he was slowly drowning You have loved her all her life and she has loved you we would all like for them to go in their sleep but this rarely happens.
I got the Vet to come out and William was put to sleep in his favourite place its was all very peaceful and we were able to say goodbye and mine was the last voice her heard.

sending (((hugs)))

If It Should be

If it should be I grow frail and weak And pain prevents my peaceful sleep

Then you must do what must be done When this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand Selfishness might stay your hand

But on this day, more than the rest, Your love and freindship take the test.
We've had so many happy years

That what's to come can hold no fears

You'd not want me to suffer So,
When the time comes please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend. Only stay with me until the end.

Hold me firm and speak to me. Until my eyes no longer see.
I know, in time, you, too, will see Its a kindness you do for me
Although my tail it's last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved
Do not grieve it should be you who must decide this thing to do

We've been so close, we two, these years....... Don't let your heart hold any tears

Author unknown

This is williams special Poem I wrote for him

Is Your Heart

Do you think you Heart is big enough
To store the love he gives
This lovely Pup you’ve just acquired
In the short time that he lives
Do you think your Heart is wide enough
To store up all the pride
Of this handsome dog, all grown up
As he walks out by your side
And will you Heart be strong enough
To cope with all the pain
When the time has come to say goodbye
You cant see him again
Well when my Hearts no longer strong
And My Life comes to an end
There will be a celebration
‘Cause I’ll see my friend again
As I take my walk down Heavenly Shores
I know that I will see
That familiar face, that wagging tail
Waiting There for me

by Glenys Fryer (copywrite)

Now Im crying!! And Im at work! :(

My heart goes out to you both - a real test for me when Ive had to make the choice in the past was when I imagined in my head, what it would be like as my pet drifted away, would I feel relieved that their suffering was over? If the answer is yes, then you know what you have to do for your puppydog.

x

oh my god...those poems are killing me, absolutely beautiful, sad and true. :(
I was undecided over one thing...will I be with her when she does go, or would my partner take her there.
The reason I had struggled with this decision is because i had to have my other dog PTS a couple of years ago. Of course I took him with my partner and now whenever I think of him, I always remember him laying on the table dead. Could not believe how fast it all happened.And the awful thing was they couldn't get the needle is right. It was a struggle, and then he was gone. I find it hard to remember that dog (Dylan) in any other way, except laying on the Vet table.
But after reading that poem, I made my decision. When she goes, I will be there.
What do I say to the kids?? They're 8 and 10, and adore her to bits. They help with her walks too, take her out every day. All the kids in the street love her, as she often sits outside the house on the grass and watches the world go by. So she's known and loved by the entire neighbourhood.
Will make enquiries about vet coming here. She's just had a beautiful dinner, with none of the boring doggy food essentials in it,..so I think I know....but when, exactly??
Stephanie xx

Steph... you will know when the time is right to help your friend on her way. Its the stongest, bravest thing you can do for her. Set a date, and take her yourself, and make plans for what happens afterwards because it will help. Get yourself closure on it after going to the vets, it will help you and the children. Email me if you like and I'll share something with you. ((hugs)) for you and tess x x

You should tell them the truth. If it helps them hold a little memorial service with all the children in the street and plant a tree or shrub so all can remember her.
My thoughts are with you.

Jesse

Hi Stephanie,

I have 3 children the two older ones of mine are a little older than your 2 , with children of that age , i find they know more than you think - so be honest with them.

Allow them to say there goodbyes - some may disagree , but in my opinion children should learn the facts of life and death , however difficult it can be.

Love, Helen.xx

What an awful descision you must make. To date I've not been in your position, and hope I never am; but as my dogs have always be there for me, then I want to be with them at the end.
You could always get a copy of Rainbow Bridge and explain to your children whats happened, I always felt it was written for children, to comfort them after losing a much loved pet.

Thinking of you

liberty

Tears are flooding my computer :-(

Oh Mattie that is beautiful, I was welling on the second line, sob sob every phrase so meaningful. I do so hope they are waiting for us.

Mattie, that bought a lump to my throat. but so very true.
It makes a very hard decision an act of true loyalty and shows a very strong bond between two best friends

Hi Stephanie,

So sorry about Tess.

Dogs have great courage when very sick and ill , please dont let her suffer.

However difficult it may seem, do not keep her alive for your sake - be fair to her and allow her a dignified end in payment for all the pleasure she has gave you.
No dog should endure weeks of pain when there is no hope of recovery.

Talk to your vet and ask for a home visit. The vet can then examine Tess, and , if it is necessary, put her to rest in the surroundings she knows and loves while you comfort her.

She will gently slip away and be free from pain.

This is your final kindness to your best friend.

Lots of Love to you and your family xxx

HELEN.

i will be honest with my kids...I'm one of the type who agree's that children should learn truthfully about real life, and death too. We can't shield them from life forever. Have had many a fight with my mother about my truthfullness with my children.
They have watched me crying sitting here, and asked why, so I explained about Glenys poem. My eldest understood I was crying for Tess, my youngest (8) has gone back in the garden playing Top Trumps with his friends. Not a lot fazes him. He'll cry but will get over it. My eldest will be gutted !!!
Tess is just lying on the floor right now. Curled up, but nor sleeping. Just has this look on her face that is watching all that's going on,but not partaking in anything.
I won't let her suffer. After someone said, there is no cure for any of her ailments, so really, why prolong it for her? Her quality is better than her quantity.
Stephanie xx

Oh dear, Stephanie. :( This is the worst bit about loving - the losing.

I learned that I was going to feel dreadful whatever I did - I can always find some way to beat myself up - but as the vet said "Better a week too early than a day too late". It's so hard though.........

Stay with her, hold her, stroke her, tell her what a good girl she is and that you love her.

I truly sympathise with you.

oh god this is so said i am crying now :-(
Say good bye to your life long freind and make her last moments special, gather the family round explain to the children what is going to happen and let them decide if they would like to be there. Do you have nice up to date pics of her?
(((((((Stephanie Tess and family)))))))

I can't respond as I'd want to as I'm at work (supposedly doing something else) as I know I will cry.

My heart is with you all - and I'll resond properly from home tonight.

{{{hugs for you all}}}
Margot

We recently had our 12 year old Golden Retriever PTS - It was very hard - but, the only way I can describe my feelings on that day was, relief, not for us, but for her, she was the centre of our World(even though we have 4 other dogs) this may sound to some a bit clinical, but we planned out the day we PTS, we took photo's, we took her on what was her favourite walk, I made all the dogs cakes, more photo's. Don't get me wrong it was a sad day, but we celebrated her life too.
As has been said you will know when it time, but enjoy the time you still have, with her.:)
I will be thinking of you.

Sweep x

hi stephanie,
im so sorry about your dog.
Heres a poem for you.

I stood beside your bed last night
I came to have a peek
I could see that you were crying
You found it hard to sleep

I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear
"Its me,I havent left you"
Im well, Im fine, im here

I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour your tea
You were thinking of the many times
Your hand reached down to me

I was with you at the shops today
Your arms were getting sore
I longed to take your parcels
I wish i could do more

I was with you at my grave today
You tend to it with such care
I want to reassure you
That im not lying there

I walked with you toward the house
As you fumbled with your key
I gently put my paw on you
I smiled and said "Its me"

You looked so very tired
And sank into your chair
I tried so hard to let you know
That i was standing there

Its possible for me to be
So near you everyday
To say with certainty
"I never went away"

You sat there very quietly
Then you smiled, I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening
I was very close to you.

The day is over...
I smile and watch you yawning
And say "Goodnight, Godbless,
I`ll see you in the morning"

And when the time is right
For you to cross the brief divide
I`ll rush across to greet you
And we`ll stand side by side

I have so many things to show you
There is much for you to see
Be patient, live your journey out
And then come home to be with me........Author Unknown

My love to you allxxxxx
Jane.

Hi Stephanie

I'm home h#now, so no one will think it strange that I'm typing away with tears dripping off the end of my nose.

You have to be brave: I think you have already been brave - you've talked about it with your boys, and they understand - as far as they are able to understand. Owning a dog is a priviledge, to know the unjudgmental love of a dog is not known to all, but with priviledge comes responsibility - and just as you've taken responsibility for your lovely dog's life, so you take responsibility for her death. You are doing the right thing - its the last loving thing we can all do for our dogs.

i know I've said it on here before - but remember the time will come when you can be glad that you've had her, not sad that she's gone.

Much love & thinking of you

Margotxxx

Hi Stephanie, I really feel for you and I am so sorry about your best friend - it's so upsetting. I have only had my dog for 6 months and the attachment and unconditional love is unbelievable even in this short time. Enjoy the last few moments and remember that you took the difficult decision because you love her and didn't want her to suffer after all the love she has given you.
Lots of hugs - take care.xxx

Stephanie
i am so sorry and so sad for you,i have only just been able to finish your post throught the tears that i have cried for you and tess.I can't tell you what to do its so heartbreaking,but i want you to know i will be thinking of you both. Just remember though she may not be able to see you very well but the cuddles you will give her will show her all the love in your heart.(give tess a big kiss and cuddle for me)
love mand x

Steph,
I'm very sorry to hear about the descision you have to make, and I too know mine isn't that far off. I am hoping to have taz for another 5 years but I think I'm just kidding myself since he has slowed down a great deal with in this year alone. Please take a day off with just you and Tess and say all your good byes before the final day. This way you will have that day of just you two if it is possible. Share your (her)favorite snack in your very special place you two like to go. If its some place rather then home and to far for her to walk maybe a little car ride would help. I can see my hubby and I with Taz under a tree in a park he just loves to go to the park. His favorite time is winter he loves the snow, he loves to put his head in it and push with his back feet.

Very sorry to hear and I know it is not easy :(

ttfn :(

Edit: Just to say I'm very sorry but now she is feeling know more pain :) Sorry to hear your son is so sad, I hope as the days go on he will feel better :(

well she's gone. My gorgeous girl has gone. Our vet very kindly agreedt o come out toight to see to her....they normally do these things at 11am, after morning surgery, but I told them it had taken us all day to reach the decision and I don't think we could put it off...would be too painful.
The receptionist rang the vet, who wasnt yet at the surgery, but then rang us back to say the wonderful Vet had agreed to call to mine after the evening surgery.
One of my sisters called in to say goodbye to tess ad she stayed to help "raise the vein" as only the vet was coming without the aid of a nurse??!!
It was awful !!!!!
I'd talked to the boys and explained everything to them. My youngest said goodbye then went back out to play...my eldest wanted to stay. The vet asked my partner to hold onto Tess' back end, and my sister to hold onto her head, and I was able to talk to her and love her..but with everyone crowding round her she panicked ad struggled, so I told them all to get off her and let me hold her. She trusts her mam, and knows me. I sat with her, and told her to lie down, which she did. Then told her to stay, which she did. Told her to stay steady, which she did, then told her how much I loved, and she licked my face. I tell you, my girl soo understood me.
Whilst I was talking to her, my sis and the vet were talking and doig something with her leg, shaving her. My girl panicked a bit but after I told her it wasok, she settled a bit. Then after they were at her leg again, by which tme my son, my parter and I were in floods, she started strugglig like mad. The vet said she couldnt get the needle in. This happened with my other dog Dylan !"!!!! And instead of having one large syringe, the vet had to re-fill, or re-do 3 syringe's, to send her to sleep. It was a hell of an ordeal for her. Me and my son were in total piece's. I just told her over and over how much I loved her, how she truly was one in a milliojn and I would NEVER EVER forget her.
Anyway, after a wee struggle, she was gone.
My youngest saw though a crack in the blinds, Tess getting wrapped up in her favourite blanket, and he was sobbing his heart out outside. His little frieds, bless them were asking if they should go and get me.
I know at the end of the day we've made the right decision for Tess. but it was the hardest day I have suffered ina long time...well, since Arpil. That's when I nearly lost my son to a rare heart condition, and that's what helped me into putting ito perspective ad og's life over a childs life.
But at the same time, I love my girl, and miss her immesely already. Can't quite come to terms that she's not here.
I can't thank you all enough for the beautiful words..honestly, you had me in floods of tears, but I soo felt cared for, if they are the right words. Well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
Thanks guys, from the bottom of my heart for being there. You have all helped me in reaching the best decision for my girl
Thanks
Stephanie xx

Bless you, Stephanie.
xxx

...and God bless Tess.
Liz x

Steph - it was painful, but you did the right thing for your girl. You were strong. Chloe x x x

Lots of hugs to you,
I'm in floods of tears as i write this, i haven't yet been in your position but i realise it must have been the hardest decision to make. At least she is in a wonderful place now, free from pain.

Well done Steph, she is at peace now, but will always be around you and your family god bless.xxxxxxx

At least she is at peace now, will be thinking of you

Hayley xxxxx

I know it sounds like a cliche Stephanie but my heart really does go out to you - such a difficult decision, such a sad, sad time.
Knowing you did the right thing will be of little comfort at the moment but when you're feeling a bit stronger it will help to ease your pain and come to terms with your loss.

Take care of yourself

Joyce

It's never an easy decision but I try to keep in mind something a friend said to me "Better a day too soon than an hour too late" My Una is 13 now and I take each day as a gift, wouldn't it be great if they could just sleep away.
{{{{{Hugs}}}} to you and your family
Anne

Steph
(((((((hugs))))))
Our thoughts are with you.

Sweep x

You have been so brave and now she is at peace and in a few days you will know that you did the right thing.
xxxxxx