I could really use some help please. We've had a boxer pup for 3 weeks now(she's 10 weeks), and while she's fine with everyone else in the house, her and my (almost) 3 year old daughter are causing problems. I think my daughter is slightly afaraid of Meg, but at the same time wants to cuddle her. Meg tends to get over excited, which upsets Phoebe, which leads to more excitement and nipping. They are kept apart by a series of gates, and access to each other is constantly supervised, but I'm tearing my hair out. It's so frustrating. We've sat down and talked to Phoebe, had her feeding Meg, but to no avail. Then tonight at the puppy party, Meg got a bit 'feisty' (well that was what the trainers called it), and was giving out some nasty growling and got quite visciuos (sp.). The opinion was a) too much testosterone, b) being bullied by litter mates, c) the food she's being fed (beta puppy). I'm really hoping we haven't got an aggressive dog. Can anyone give me any adivce on how to get small daughter and puppy to become best pals???

You are worrying way too much :) She's only a baby yet - you have to get some guidelines in place for her - without worrying too much about "dominance" or her being "fiesty" yet :)

Initially, I would not let a 3 year old cuddle a pup (or any dog actually), the pup could easily nip the childs face, just as part of the normal mouthing that pups do, but she could easily break the skin. You must teach your daughter to leave the pup alone first, then work on getting the pup to leave your daughter alone :)

This is a common problem with small children and puppies. Naturally the child wants to treat the pup as a toy, but equally naturally, the pup isn't having any of that! It can take a long time to teach a very young child that the pup isn't a toy, but a real, living entity, with likes and dislikes, and good moods and bad moods, just like them. You are absolutely right to keep them apart when you can't supervise, because there is a very real possibility that either could unintentionally hurt the other.

Puppies are also very attracted to small children, simply because they act more like puppies than older people do! They make jerky movements, they squeal, they get excited - all of which a pup can relate to, and wants to join in. To make the puppy calm around the child, the child has to learn to be calm around the puppy. Not easy to do, I know. Don't forget the puppy is also very young still, and is too immature to react in any way other than instinctively.

At the puppy party, what led up to the growling? Were other puppies annoying her? If so, what were their owners doing about it? With a bitch puppy, it's unlikely to be a case of too much testosterone! There is a possibility that Meg feels she is being bullied by her littermates (that's you and your family now, of course), or it's more likely that she felt insecure there and was scared.

I think what I would do to get your daughter and the pup more pally would be to have your daughter hold Meg's bowl just off the floor while Meg eats (with you holding over her hands too), and not picking Meg up for cuddles at all. Get her to stroke Meg gently and slowly when Meg is feeling sleepy, and to stop before Meg wants to play again. As they both grow and mature, things will settle down. Don't rush things, though - don't expect either of them to act 'grown-up' before their time.
:)

tonights puppy party, she was ok to start, but seemed to take a major dislike to a lakeland terrier which was quite bouncy! Then she wasa bit wary of all the dogs.......

should have said....I've just registered as mumofmany!!!!!!!!

It sounds to me as if she needs to take things slowly, as she's not a hugely confident dog. Don't rush her - you want all her experiences to be happy ones at the moment, because she is in the middle of a 'critical learning period', and anything that happens now till she's about 16 weeks will be remembered and colour her view of life for ever.

Have you got a copy of "The Perfect Puppy" by Gwen bailey? I think you would find it invaluable.
:)

no I haven't got a copy, but I'm off to the library tomorrow! I know 3 weeks is a short space of time, and I know both Meg & Phoebe are babies, but I must admit I came away from the puppy party feeling really disheartened.............

Perserverence and consistency are the key. Make your rules and stick to them, keep them simple to understand for your daughter, i.e absolutely no picking up, stroking along neck and back only - strong pups have a strong kick for a 3 yr old!

I have had a few dogs and puppies before, I still bought the "Perfect Puppy", can highly recommend it, full of practical info and tips, not sure if you will get a copy in your library, I got mine from Amazon.co.uk

All the very best

Hayley