Admin - hope I'm ok posting this - I just thought it would be interesting to people on here with the amount of time spent alone out walking.

Subject: Fw: Advice about rape

The info below is worth reading.

THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES....


A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

The first thing men look for in a potential victim is they are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors to cut clothing. They also look for women either on their mobile phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5am and 8:30 a.m.
The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is shopping centre/supermarket car parks. Number two is office parking/garages. Number three is public restrooms. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

These men said they would not pick on women who have, in their hands umbrellas or other similar objects that can be used from a distance. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

Several defence mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like "what time is it?", or make general small talk, "I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter". Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target. Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can try outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh. After the initial hit, always go for the groin. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. Of course, the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behaviour, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts.

Thanks Chloe, that was really interesting, if I am unsure of someone walking near me, I always tended to get my keys ready, but can see that would not be a lot of use now, will have to think of another 'non offensive' weapon, I think my dogs classify, when on walks! :D

Hayley

I always worry about the lead when I am out walking - that it could be used as a weapon against me and i put it in my pocket... I also carry a stick

If I haven't got any pockets I sometimes put the leads round my neck - perhaps I should rethink that one :(

Daisy

I have been sent that before, it's good information to know. Also you think your safe during the daytime, but unfortunatley you are not. I used to be quite naive and would wander about at night by myself without even thinking until something happened close to home and opened my eyes. Now i wont even walk to the shop by myself. Sorry to get all deep and meaningful, just take note girls and be aware.

Threads such as this are very good for stimulating debate and that will always be welcome but I feel that it is very dangerous to generalize about this type of crime. No two rapes/rapists/attacks/robberies are the same and even if you take on board all the information above and avoid all possible scenario's, you still can not afford to let your guard down. How many of you walk along talking on mobile phones? How many of you are aware of what is going on around you when you are texting? Your best defence is not to let your guard down at any time and keep your eyes and ears open. You can not do that when you are on a mobile phone or your concentration is elsewhere.

I agree - important to realise that just because you follow the advice above you are not immune from being attacked - however, I for one, did not realise that your hair could be used against you - even though its obvious when you think about it...thats why I found it interesting.

Another thing to think about too is you being charged if you do carry a weapon - a friend of mine was raped during our college days back in the late 70's, as catering students we carried our own knives in canvas wraps, she used her wrap to try to beat him off. They arrested and charged her with assault with a deadly weapon as well as charging him for rape, it was only once in court that they agreed that she had not delibratley carried the knives as a weapon but a normal part of her daily routine - turned out she could have got a stiffer sentence than him if they'd found her guilty.

U should always walk where it is busy, where there are people around. Thats what I try to do most times. I also walk to the park with my kids and 4 boston terriers, wonder now if thats such a good idea with all the trees. Could I be putting myself as well as my children in danger? They had so much fun today walking with the dogs, it was kinda like a nature walk, then we went to the play area and they played on the swings for awhile. I know u can never be too safe, maybe I should rethink where I walk and keep the park walk when my hubby is with us, but it's so nice and peaceful. But if anything ever happened to us I would never be able to forgive myself :(. My hubby is always tellen me to be careful and more aware of my surroundings. But on the other hand I don't want to be over pariniod either. What do u people all think, should I keep the park walk with hubby only? All advice welcomed :)

ttfn :)

Dollface, you can not live your life on what if's and maybe's :-) You enjoy the park with your children and do not be put off by something that may never happen. Just keep your eyes and ears open and enjoy your life, but do not stop doing things that you enjoy :-)

Unfortunately as well, stats say that you are also as likely to be raped by somebody you know :(

I know it very nearly happened to me a long while ago :(

Lucy

lucy sorry to hear that hope you are ok now. i was attacked in my own house in my own room by a neighbour at 6.30am. in court he tried to say id given him the date rape drug. he got 18 months and im currently going through an harasment charge with his wife as she is making my life hell. shes threatened to harm my 8 year old.
life throws things at you. how you deal with it in the end that matters.
em

Em

It was along time ago and took me a while to get through it but I feel a better person for doing so !

Sorry to hear about what happened to you but you have the very best attitude to deal with it !

My best buddie who lives in NZ was also attacked in her own home and was kept hostage by a creep for two hours and subjected to a very very bad rape. She was extremly lucky to be alive as the chap was caught and he had killed 3 women previously. She had to go thro the trauma of the trial but got thro it. The one thing she did say was how so called friends deserted her as they did not know how to deal with it ! The same happened to me to some extent but if they did I felt they weren't worth knowing :)

Lucy
xx

Aaaaw very sorry to hear that happened. There are some very terrible people out there and their punishments don't always fit their crime :( My friends sister was raped and the result is a baby (she's still pregnant), she's planning on having the lil one and keeping it, she's 17-18 I think. That would be hard, not sure if I could go through with that. My friend said that she's not sure if she is gonna charge the guy or not, I told her that her sister should so this doesn't happen to another young girl, but don't know what happened. Just sad :(

I think we will continue our park walks because it is so nice their, not busy with traffic and the kids and I will just keep our eye's and ears open (like u said ADMIN), no point on closing our life down on what could be, ty

ttfn :)