Please help. After 40 years of wanting of a dog and not being allowed have one (first by parents, then by landlords), I adopted "Buddy," an 8-week-old lab mix, from a shelter. Buddy is now 4 months old and I've loved him from minute #1, but have failed him. I made a huge, selfish error in judgment in adopting him when I live in this small place and am gone to work 10 1/2 hours a day, leaving him in a small bathroom with nothing to do and no company. I leave chew toys, Kong, etc., but I know Buddy is desperate to get out. My boyfriend, who works 16 hours straight and is home to sleep 8 hours a day, hears Buddy throwing a fit--but won't let him out because "it's too much trouble". In the evening, Buddy is with me for several hours and we take a walk if it's not raining, but by 11 p.m., he's crated for 6 to 7 hours in my bedroom--meaning altogether, he's confined about 17 hours a day. Behavior-wise, I'm seeing the effects of a dog who is pent up so long. He tears about, wants my constant undivided attention, has started disobeying commands he originally seemed to learn well, has begun growling and snapping when admonished, etc. And now he's bit me twice, enough to draw blood, in a week. I'm actually afraid of him. Is there any hope of turning things around? I should add he was neutered last week but hasn't calmed down any yet.

Hiya......

I know you arent going to want to hear this, but unless you can find someone who will let Buddy out a couple of times a day, for a walk, and games, etc, for at the minimum of about 3 hours, then i am afraid im going to advise you to find him a new home.

It really isnt fair to keep him cooped up that long, alternatively, is there anyway you can take him to work with you?

Good luck

Em

You're not going to want to hear this, but it sounds as if you must give the dog away to a better home. That is just much, much too long to spend away from a puppy -- from any dog. The only thing I can advise you is to do it now, not later. The sooner you get the pup in a new home, the better off he will be. The situation you have now is just plain cruel. Good luck.

I think it takes great courage to come on a public forum and admit that you have made a mistake :) I do agree with the others as to the solution though

Melody :)

I'm sorry - but I have to agree with everyone else. You know that you have to do this - and you have to do it NOW - otherwise I'm afraid that there will be another 8 or 9 month old (adolescent, albeit neutered) healthy puppy put to sleep. You have to be brave - and responsible now.

I'm sure the time will come when it is the right time for you to have a dog.

Margot

I agree this pup should go to a new home where he can get the attention and quality time he needs. Unless you are in a position where you can shorten your hours dramatically and get a coat so you can go out in the rain - I don't see anything you can do that will be OK for this chap other than rehoming. Well done for seeing your mistake. In the future when you do have both the space and more importantly the time to devote to a dog, you can rethink having learnt from this experience.

I'd also re-home the boyfriend:D not letting the pup out because it's too much trouble!!

Pam n the boys

i completely agree with all the above. i have to leave my pup for 3 hours and im totally guilt ridden so i have somebody go round for at least an hour to play and excercise him. im up around 5.30am to get chores etc done before he wakes at 7 am for breakfast. (my partner usually gets in from work around 12.00pm from work so the pup is in his crate for max of 6 hours a night)
i think alot of people should read the above then we will have less latch key dogs (unwanted puppies) and our rescue centres would not be bursting at the seems. people need to look at the bigger picture and realise what a reponsibility a pet is.
emma
p.s lock your boyfriend in a crate for 17 hours a day without any contact and see who he bites when he gets out the self centred little****. please do the responsible thing, another day is to long.

Agreed with the replied posters, again it is irresponsable and cruel to be keeping your dog like this you must either seek other arrangements or get the dog rehomed.

But at least you are responsible enough to share your problem and admit your mistake.

Best wishes

Mark

(Hopefully Mattie wont see this thread :p )

I agree with all the above, there is no way this dog can be kept unless your life changes drastically :(

Your boyfriend sounds very lazy (that's putting it nicely!! Sorry!) and to be absolutely honest i would consider rehoming him too :D

Please love Buddy enough to let him go. Find him a good home, perhaps you could visit him on occasion.

You have lots of courage to admit your bad mistake - so go on :), employ that courage to do what you know must be done :)

Lindsay

people who work do keep dogs after all you have to work to be able to afford them,but.... dogs should not be shut in for more than 3-4hrs at one time,and then that should be in a room large enough to run around,i do not agree with crating dogs for hours at a time if at all ,no wonder he's going stir crazy. and your boyfriend sounds like a complete selfish jackass,to be be blatantly honest this is so unbelievable i wonder if its some kind of ridicolous wind up!!!!!!!

I think it probaly is a wind-up as she hasn-t replied yet and I can-t think that anyone would be so stupid to think that it is ok to keep a dog locked up in a room/crate for that length of time.

Jolene

I don't think its a wind up. And I think if she reads some of the inital replies on this thread she is going to feel even worse, and get defensive, and not listen to any of the advice.
She's also in the US.

The original poster also mentioned that she worked for 10 1/2 hours each day so maybe she is at work and can't post. We shouldn't assume that the post is a wind up if the person cant reply immediately, I'm lucky and have the luxury of a permanent internet connection but many others do not. :-)

Hi

I think you have found out the hard way what owning a puppy is like. I don't think you have been irresponsible, just naive :) Please ignore anyone who has been having a go on here - people are passionate about dogs, but everyone makes mistakes, its just a shame you didn't come on here to get advice before you got your puppy.

Please please stay at home - take a day off sick or something - and stay with your puppy until you can get him a good home. Obviously the shelter is not vetting new owners, so you must do the right thing for your puppy and ask for some help elsewhere. Its not fair on him to leave him for that amount of time - not a minute longer. Do you have any other family who can help until he can go to a new home? I am pretty sure Buddy will calm down once he is in a routine with constant company and gets himself worn out and starts regular training.

I do hope you come back on here and let us know

Chloe

I'im sorry i should'nt have been so abrupt but there is only piece of advice if you care find him a new home if you can't then take him back to the shelter they will have no problem finding him a new home as he is so young . he will be so much happier and so will you ,as you said you made a mistake now is the time to put it right and not have to spend each day feeling guilty about your little pup at home. Do it this weekend don't delay!!let us all know

After waiting 40 years I cannot understand why you rushed out and got him when you knew you were going to have to leave him. Also the rescue centre are at fault for not going checking your suitability to have him. Hope you take note of the posts and return him - it will be for the best.

Must admit upon reading this post my thoughts are also its a wind up .
I cant believe anyone could be so selfish as to subject a dog to a life "in the bathroom" .
:(

What annoys me most is that you 'take him for a walk if its not raining'!!!!!!Can't believe your for real -after 17 hours of being confined confine him some more so you don't get wet
No apologies for being abrupt-
Archer

If u waited 40 years I take it that u are well over 40 and should be able to handle this with a lot of maturity as well. If u are gone to work for only 101/2hrs where does 17 hours come in? I totally understand ur hubby being very tired after working 16hrs(cause I know mine was and all he wanted to do was sleep which is not selfish at all, we all need sleep to function). I wouldn't say its too much TROUBLE it is complete tiredness. DO NOT PUT THE DOG U SO BADLY WANTED ON UR HUBBY'S SHOULDERS, cause I'm sure he would of thought this through more with his hrs and would never of gotten a dog more then likely no pet. :(

Now I work and am gone 8hrs a day 3 are kenneled 2 are lose and do just fine and get well exercised, attention ect. when I get home. My hubby can pull 16hrs or more a day and I do not expect him to deal with anything cause he is soo tired he can barely function.

10 1/2hrs is what u said in the begining so am wondering where ur 17hrs come in to leave the poor little soul alone? If I was u I would hire a dogsitter/walker to play with him and give him attention throughout the day or rehome him which would probable be a very smart choice on ur part before he becomes a problem dog and gets worse and may have to be PUT TO SLEEP because of ur ignorance. If u so really want a dog why not offer to help look after an elderly person's dog on ur time off (I'm sure they would more then welcome it). Maybe get urself a cat or 2 since they are more to liken it on their own or fish, stay away from any kind of parekette because they are very socialable unless u are planning on getting 2 cause they will start pulling feathers and going crazy from loneliness.

ttfn :)