Hello everyone. I've brought my new addition to the madhouse home, my lhasa apso bitch of 16 months.She's only been here a couple of days, and I'm just feeling a bit insecure, as I'm only used to starting off with puppies....She's very well behaved, and is very sweet, but she hardly eats, and seems a bit restless. I know, she's had a huge upheaval in coming from my very refined and single aunt to a household with children, cats etc,and of course she needs time to settle in. So obvious when I see it written down, but could somebody please tell me roughly how long it should take for her to feel confident here?? I know it varies enormously, but should it be weeks, or months? I find it hard to know how long to leave her before I take her out for her toilet, as she seems to be able to hold it for hours.I know these questions seem really pathetic compared to other problems on this site, but I want to make things as easy for her as I can. She sleeps in her little crate with her toys, and so far, no problem.She is friendly, but not affectionate,if that makes sense. Will that come when she grows to love her new family(Hoping of course that she does!!)or will she always only love her previous owner??Any words of wisdom would be great...sorry for being such a wimp...
Beth...

I'm sure someone with lots of experience will be along shortly.

In the meantime, I'd just like to wish you all the best with your Lhasa, I'm sure with lots of love from you and your family she'll become more confident and affectionate as she settles down. :)
It's such a big change for her, and I understand the phrase Madhouse all too well; so hopefully she's just finding her feet. Recommend lots of cuddles :D :D

Liberty :)

Hi bobo, don't worry, this is normal. Give her lots of time with you and your family. She is still quite young and should adjust quickly. Take her out every 1 1/2 to 2 hours to see if she needs to go. Also, teach her a way to let you know that she needs out. I use the doggy doorbell, works great and the dogs learned it so quickly. Best of luck and enjoy your new companion.

Thanks so much,Liberty and Tiyrra, I will give her lots of cuddles and we are including her as much as possible in fun things with kids,etc. So far so good with cats,as she thinks they are not worth bothering with...I will try to relax and just let all love her...by the way, my daughter is called Tyra,different spelling, but pronounced the same?? Thanks alot, Beth

Whats a doggy doorbell and how can I get/make one? I havent taugth my puppy of 6 months old how to tell me she wants to go out yet and am interested to know how you did it.

Do a search on the site and the websites are on there somewhere. Alternatively get a string of bells to attach to the door and teach the dog to ring them before you take him/her out. He will soon get the message.

Wendy

Tis is the link for the doggy doorbell: http://www.dogsdoorbell.co.uk/main.html. Put it next to the door and when pup should go out, have pup touch the pad. It then rings, you have to do this everytime pup needs out. depends on the dog, how long it takes to learn to associate the pad with the bell with going out. Best of luck

I just wanted to say good luck with your new addition and don't worry she will soon make herself at home,i too have a llhasa thet we rescued 7 years ago and he didn't take long to settle and they really are lovely dogs to have around,just give her lots of love and she will be fine.

Hi Bobo, glad you've got the Lhasa. What is her name?

First bit of good news. Lhasas seem to have cast iron bladders! It is a good idea to let her out first thing in the morning, last thing at night, just after eating and before you do anything which will get her excited, like playing with the kids. She may well not go, but until you get used to each other it is better to avoid mishaps if possible and she will soon learn. Tilly would go to the backdoor in the morning, take a look out, and if it was raining , she would turn round and refuse to go out for hours!

Lhasas can be tricky feeders. Are you using food that she is used to? A little warm water always makes it more appetising.They are better having a couple, even three,small meals a day if you can manage it. Whilst pandering to a fussy eater can make them worse, I do pamper mine a bit if eating is a problem by giving a bit of variety or something nice, like a bit of gravy or liver powder, but not all the time.Also, has she got somewhere quiet where she will feel safe to eat without worrying about kids etc. Just till she settles. Have you asked her previous owners for advice. (I hate to admit it, but my dogs leave their food if I leave the room, so I have to be around when they are eating.)

She is bound to take time to settle in. She is used to a different home life and people - besides, she's a Lhasa. Just give her time and don't push her. Try to encourage her to come to you, don't force yourself onto her. Sit on the floor and play quietly with some toys, make some interesting noises, have some nice treats, so that you can reward her when she comes to you.Teach the kids to be gentle with her, not make sudden grabs at her - she needs to get used to them.Brushing really helps form a relationship and should be a pleasure for you both. Give her five or ten minutes a day and at this stage just make it a nice brush which will relax her.You say that she sleeps in a crate. Great. Leave the door open when she is not shut in so that she can return to it if she feels tired or threatened. (Preferably have a cover over it so that it is a little den). Also have a "safe "place for her in your main living area. A little bed under a table or behind the couch. Tell the kids that when she is there, or in the crate, she doesn't want to play and they should leave her alone until she comes to play with them.

I hope that some of this helps. Don't worry, give her time. She will learn to adjust but she sounds as though you all need to take it one step at a time and she will pick the speed.Offer her love, but don't force it, then when she asks for it, which she will, you'll know she really wants it.

Carrie

Thanks to all who replied. Her name is Bailey, and even this morning, there's a huge difference. She slept well, and seems more relaxed. Her little crate is our quieter dining room, and I taught the kids before she even came home, that that is off limits for them. They also know to leave her alone when eating. The food is from her old home, but I guess she's still missing my aunt,but she is eating some.She will pee for me every few hours, so am getting the hang of that!!
She is now hanging around the kids when they're playing and trying to see what they're up to , and they are trying to be very gentle with her....so far , so good....hope they keep it up!!!
What colour is Tilly, Carrie? How old is she? Is she adorable??? Ace, what is your Lhasa called and what colour is he? Again, many thanks,feel much better about it all now...Beth

Hi Beth,
I'm glad she's feeling happier this morning. :) You sound like a lovely, caring person - she's very lucky.

Give her loads of time to adapt - she's probably feeling very confused, like a small child away from home with strangers for the first time. Don't go overboard with the pampering and coaxing, be quietly kind (and firm) and consistent and she'll start to find her feet.

Bitches can hold their wee for a long time! Many bitches simply won't wee in a strange place, and at shows for instance will last all day, even if given loads of opportunities to go.

Good luck with her. In a few weeks you may think she's been with you forever!

:)

Hi,
Can only echo what the others have said really.
She will find her place quickly if you dont make too much fuss, dont spoil her, or make too many exceptions for her, it is very tempting to do that, but she will learn you faster than you learn her, if that makes sense. So, if you let her get away with things you dont intend to let her do in the future, she will carry on! Since you are intending to bring in another dog, you should start to prepare her for this as soon as possible. How is she with other dogs?
Just be firm, be fair, and be lots of fun, same as with a puppy, and she will soon work out where she fits in in your house!

Good luck with her,
Em

JEANGENIE, AND THEEMX,thanks so much for kind words.(Blush Blush...) I'm glad you said what you said, as i'm trying not to go overboard with her with attention, and am making her earn her little treats, as I don't want her to suffer anxiety when I leave her, and also as you have pointed out, I want her to know from the beginning the rules of the household. Well -meaning friends and relatives have been saying that I'm not showering her with enough love, and I should make non-stop fuss of her, even carry her around for a while, and "Don't you like her???"!! So, I'm so glad you agree with how I'm welcoming her into her new home. She does get lots of love, and is even allowed on her patch of the family sofa, but not in my bedroom, etc.She is lovely, and so calm so I don't want to turn her into a neurotic little thing. Also, she is very good with other dogs,so far anyway. She seems curious, and wants to approach them, but if they start barking at her, she just ignores them and doesn't even bark back. Anyway, again thanks for comments, and I'll carry on letting her just be herself, and hopefully she'll be happy with us. I'll wait until at least August, maybe October and then will start looking for a little soulmate for her(and another one for me!!!) if she looks like she'd enjoy the company.
Beth(newly converted Lhasa fan...)

Bobo,
Glad to help!
Sounds like u are doing brilliantly and should have a well behaved furry family member, (as opposed to your well meaning friends and relations, we all have those, who would by now have a neurotic gibbering wreck rather than a dog!).
Just keep doing what you are doing, let her find her feet and work out how everything works, and she will be fine. It is very tempting to mollycoddle them when they are rehomed, even more so with the ones that have had traumatic times in their previous life, but to be honest, it doesnt do them any good at all.

Em

So glad to hear your little girl is settling in nicely, our llhasa is called dougal, we didn't name him that was his name at the ncdl kennels and it seemed to suit him so we didn't change it. He is cream and gold and an absolute sweetie and is spoilt rotten by all of us.

She might be off her food for a week or so, it will take her time to adjust - maybe even a month or two but hopefully faster. Give her some space and some time. As someone else suggested go back to 'puppy training' type stuff as re-homed dogs can often 'forget' until they feel comfortable.

Good luck!

Wendy

Wendy,and all , again thanks... she is still off her food, but I realise it will take time,and so will not fret about it.. thanks again to everyone's kind words.... will keep you posted...what a lovely lot you all are .made me feel much more confident, which can only help my Bailey....:)P.S. She did her first poo outside today....oh joy....(how sad am I????)