If such a thing can be done as preparing to PTS a much loved Pet. I know the day will come(not too far away)when our Golden Oldie,Poppy, will have to leave us, she is suffering with Bladder stones again and her bottom & lady bits are so sore, the smell she has about her is so bad we have to wash her everyday, hoping this may be soothing for her and take the smell away for a while, she is in her own Senile World, and now she is going off her food, there are many other problems with her too and she has developed a couple of suspicious lumps, I am trying to prepare for the enevitable, she will be 12 years old on 1 st May (Hubby's Birthday too) I have spoken to my Hubby this morning about things but he wont even discuss it. I am not saying this may happen soon but am I right to TRY to prepare, I don't want to make it sound like this is going to be easy for me either but I know it is going to hit my Hubby so hard.

The one thing that is going through my mind constantly is 'quality of life'.

Sweep :(

Hi Sweep,
I think you're right to start to prepare yourself for the inevitable. It's an awful time, but it's much easier to bear if you're prepared. It sounds terribly callous, but it really helps if you've decided what to do when the time comes, and what to do with the body; whether you have a cremation, or bury her somewhere. When you're so dreadfully upset at the actual time it's very difficult to make decisions that may be wrong for you later and that you regret.

It won't be easy, and will hit you both hard enough - try not to make it any harder for yourselves, please.

Hi Sweep

It's a horrible situation to be in and no magic wand is going to change it but you are so right to plan positivaly.

Quality of life is difficult, if the physical illnesses are being coped with and are not depressing the dog then carry on. Sleep is what all elderly dogs do :-) try and measure what interest there is the rest of the time, for food, for fuss, for exercise. If none of these raise a wag and a perk up, then you know the time is soon :-(

Take each day as it comes, remember to cuddle and love her every day and tell her how much she means to you....with our old boy this got him through some patches before the inevitable. I honestly think you will know when the time is right.

Use this time now to also check if the Vet can come to you or if you will need to go to them, ask about cremation if that is your wish, or if you are thinking of burial, plan that, even down to looking for a lovely plant or bush to mark the spot.

Beware too of dates, with you Husbands birthday so soon, consider how this will effect feelings in years to come. We lost a dog to an accident on Christmas Eve, I've never enjoyed one since, but our oldie whose time was right, is a date that just doesn't stick significantly in my mind, which I feel is a good thing, I remember him in many different ways :-)

We have 2 12 year olds and a 13 year old, I just watch them closely and make of note of changes. One sleeps alot, one is very lumpy, and one is slowing considerably, but for now they are all fine :-)

Good luck

Poor Poppy Sweep. I was wondering how she'd been doing with the bladder stones :(

There is not alot of advice or help I can give though I'm afraid. I believe you know yourself when the day comes. My GSD wasn't very old (not quite 6 ) but had been operated on for cancer and the lumps had returned all around his scar site. One Saturday I just knew the time had come to end it - I don't know how but there was a look in his eyes that told me. Some people may have kept him going longer as outwardly he didn't appear to be in great pain at that stage but I knew that we would lose him in the end and I wanted it to before he suffered too much. I was very lucky in that my husband would discuss it with me although it was very hard too for both of us. Now I'm blubbering with the memory but I know we did the right thing.

Give her as much love as you have and treat her to her favourite things Sweep over the next few weeks. That's what I did when I knew the end was heading our way. I tried to make the decision purely for the dog although the selfish part of me wanted to keep him as long as possible for my sake. There is never a right time for us humans and the pain is unbearable but it helped me knowing that I had tried to help him but also that I hadn't let him suffer too much and too long.

((((((((((hugs to you all))))))))))

SaraW xx

Sorry to hear about it Sweep, it is always very difficult when their time comes. I know of one person who's GSD was in terrible pain and she made the decision to let her go. She pumped her full of paracetamol, took her for a last run in her favourite spot then had her PTS. If Poppy is in pain then maybe this will be one way to ease it for you.
As others have said it is very difficult but at least it is a choice we have.
Thinking of you
Bec

If It Should be

If it should be I grow frail and weak And pain prevents my peaceful sleep
Then you must do what must be done When this last battle can't be won.
You will be sad, I understand Selfishness might stay your hand
But on this day, more than the rest, Your love and freindship take the test.
We've had so many happy years That what's to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer. So When the time comes please let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend. Only stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me. Until my eyes no longer see.
I know, in time, you, too, will see Its a kindness you do for me
Although my tail it's last has waved From pain and suffering I've been saved
Do not grieve it should be you who must decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years.......
Don't let your heart hold any tears
Author unknown

Oh Mattie, that one always makes me weep. :(

I have just forwarded that poem to my very dear friend who is bereft after having to have her beloved cat Martha PTS yesterday. Martha had been with the family for 16 years and was a princess amongst cts

Melody :(

Hi Sweep

How sad for you :( I've prepared for all mine to be PTS because it's been nicer for them and it's also helped me to cope knowing that it was peaceful for them.
I have arranged for the vet to come to the house so that they are in a familiar environment with everything they know so well around them. I find that far less stressful for them and me rather than having to go to the surgery.
Afterwards mine have been cremated. The vet has taken them from the house to the crematorium for me because I prefer it that way and then I have collected their ashes a few days later from the vets surgery.
Quality of life is so important and the hardest decision is to let them go :(
Thinking of you
Lara x

You make exactly the same arrangements as we do, Lara. It's so much easier for them (and us) for the vet to come to the house. They are at least relaxed in their own home, being cuddled and stroked and told how good they are.

Sweep I'm so very sorry :(

ttfn :(

Hi Sweep
no matter what you do you will never be prepared and it will still hit you so hard on the day
Fot those of us have have been through this it still hits hard even thinking of it
So Sorry and
Best wishes
Lel

Hi Sweep,
I've only had the choice with one of my pets, my old girl died in the night with heart failure( I was actually woken in the night by the sound of her heart beating), and my young Whippet was run over and killed. Both their deaths hit me very hard.
My lovely cat, Clemmie, had lymphoma, the first lump was removed but it came back within weeks. She had one lump on her throat and the vet thought another one on her brain, which as it grew, caused her to be unsteady on her feet. When I had to hold her up to use the litter tray, I knew the time had come.
We went to see my favourite vet, who had looked after her throughout her illness, and she sat on my lap purring while he gave her the injection. Then she just stopped purring and it was all over.
I can honestly say that it was a lovely, peaceful experience (that sounds really strange now I've written it), and I'm so glad that I was able to make the choice for her. Her ashes are buried under a lovely lilac bush in the garden.
I think you will know when the time is right, and preparing for it will make it easier to come to terms with.
Thinking of you.
Liz

Thank you all for you kind thoughts - It's not easy, I have lost 2 Goldens before, one during an emergency c.section(Poppy's daughter) and then one of the hand reared pups of that Litter at 5 months old(PTS) - I know there isn't any way to prepare for the emotion that will happen, but practically, like as someone said, if my Vet will come to my Home, what to do after, and the cost too(I hope that doesn't seem too awful). One thing I am sure about is that if it happens at the Vets, I want Poppy brought back Home, That was one thing I regreted most when we lost our lovely Kalli(during c.section)we left her at the Vets - although we had 6 Pups to handrear, the thing that haunted me most was knowing Kalli was alone.
I have tried over the weekend to talk to my Hubby about 'that day' coming, he just wont talk about it, when we lost Kalli we never had time to mourn her - I believe that is part the problem. I mentioned this morning to him that perhaps we ought to take Poppy to the Vets, he snapped, "what for"!! It was only for advise really.

Hubby has gone off to work now - I feel so awful today - I must get him to talk about things.

Trying very hard to be practical about things, that's all.
Sweep

Sweep - I do feel for you. It's hard enough when you are seeing you beloved companion reaching the end and dealing with your own emotions, but seeing hubby in such pain too. Can't say anything that will help - just that we're thinking about you all.

Pam n the boys

Pam just said it all. :(

Spoil her now. Lots of treats and whatever she wants to do. She's earned it.
Thinking of you. xxxx

Its a horrid time & nothing will help you, but this may just make you chuckle
(if you have a strange sense of humour like me!!!)
A friend of mine (himself a vet) decided their old hound was coming to the end & decided to dig a hole in the garden in preparation. His wife was horrified & said it was morbid, but David, being the character he was, decided that it was a good idea & spent the weekend digging this huge 6'x6' grave. his wife was furious & they argued all weekend over it until David had had enough, went storming out after yet another row......and fell in the hole & broke his leg!!!!!! The hound carried on for another 6 weeks, blissfully unaware of what the hole in the garden was for, .....his wife said it served him right!:)

Sam - thank you, it did make me smile:)

Well I have had some progress today re:Hubby - I am afraid I didn't 'pussy foot' around and just said to him,"you know the day is going to come that we are going to have to put.............., before I could say anything else he stopped me, but I carried on," I want to have things in place this time", and after a while he came around to it all - We have actually rung the Crematorium for a quote, I suggested going into the Vets to ask about things, he wanted to go(I was impressed) so we have found out the costs etc......... then I said that there was one thing I insisted on and that was having Poppy Home again - he totally agreed, Phew!!! This hasn't been an easy few days - but your help has been great - sharing you feelings and memories too has helped.

Poppy is being spoilt - she has just had yet another wash down and the look on her face was like her saying "thanks Mum".

Thanks all - I will keep you up to date
Sweep x

Sweep.........my heart goes out to you.
I see life and death all the time on the farm, and I can cope with that......except.
And its a BIG exception, that's where the Dogs are concerned. I'm afraid I just can't handle that. I have to leave that to my wife.......I go off and sit somewhere quiet........and cry..
When its over.......I will give them a 'place to rest'. They all had their favourite spot in life, and thats where they go.Thats what they deserve.....they've earnt it.

Oh well done, Sweep - I bet it took some doing, but you must both be feeling tremendous relief now that it's been said. It's so much easier (although it seems callous) to make major decisions before you're grieving and really in no fit state to decide anything. And it doesn't mean it's all going to happen tomorrow - but when the time does come you don't get swept along and make snap decisions which may not be best in the long run.

Sorry if that's a load of waffle, but I know you'll find things easier now. Thinking of you - give Poppy a hug! :)

Sweep

It is a very hard time but what you are doing is excatly the right thing to be doing for you and Poppy.

Myself and Mike took a round two weeks to get things sorted for Mars.( practical arrangements and talking through it together so we were ready) My vet was wonderful and came to the house when we wanted. We also gave her a sedative as I was so aware that I wanted to make sure she would not sense the sheer upset we were going through in having to do what we were doing.( I kept breaking down at the drop of a feather) We felt it was important that it was done at home, to not disturb her by taking her to the vets as it is not a place that always is a happy place to go for dogs and we wanted the other girls, Min her daughter, and Moose the puppy to see her afterwards so they could say good bye as well.

We then took her to a pet cemetary and she was individually cremated and her ashes were buried under a tree. We have a slate stone for her made at a local undertakers.

It was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do but it was one of the clearest right things we have ever had to do as well.

I will be thinking about you and Poppy and send lots of hugs.

Lucy
xxxx

Have heard from the Crematorium and I was suprised that the cost hasn't increased too much since our last Dog left us. The Vet costs did shock a bit especially the Home visit - but at least Hubby and I have now done what we had set out to do, to make what will inevitably a very traumatic time, the time we lose our precious Poppy and not worrying about cost and what happens next.

We have a lot still to discuss, but at least we are talking about it.

Thanx to all again
Sweep x

My vet was wonderful and only charged for the drugs to PTS and nothing else. He has however got a soft spot for what he calls 'the chocolate lot' !

Keep your chin up and give her a big hug from me.

Lucy
xxx

I feel for you sweep, I lost my old lad exactly 4 months ago to-day, and I still think of him every day. He went so quick in the end we didnt have time to arrange pts,he had a splenic tumor and had to be operated on, he came through the op but stadily declined the day after. We went at night and he didnt even recognise us, no tail wag, nothing. Hubby held him in his arms, and loved him and I told him to go to sleep have sweet dreams, and slowly he went. Hubby had his hand over him all the time so at least he could smell him.....he was 14.5 yrs, and I miss him still, people say it gets easier, but i wonder......?? when you are blessed to have such a good one it makes it all the harder. We have a new pup now, he is such a loving lad, different in some ways, and in others like Ben, but there will only be one Ben....
I know it is hard for you to bear, but you have to be totally unselfish in times like this, they give us so many happy years, and ask little in return, when the time comes, you have to be strong, and release them from their suffering. Try and talk to hubby, the day will come and when it does it hurts, but Poppy is relying on you, to give her a peaceful passing.
she willl just give you that look and then you will know......

PS.
Sweep just thought if this helps,...we had Ben's ashes returned and he is now "back with us" I talk to him every day "morning Ben", or "Goodnight Ben", daft I know but it helps as at least something of him is "home" with us........
Also we have decided that which ever one of uses dies first the ashes of our dogs will be buried with that person, so "in the end" we are all going to be to-gether again...!!!

We're the same! We have Bella and Polly in their little boxes on the bookshelf, Bella with a ball, and Polly with her cracker-pearls (she loved wearing her pearls - it made her feel like a duchess!). The first one of us to go gets to have the dogs with them. It's going to be cosy - we've still got 4 dogs to go! :)

So pleased to read it isn't only me......I now have 5 pine caskets on my dressing table..will need a bigger dressing table soon.
I talk to the boxes.......and I don't care if people think I'm loopy! They all have little "favourite" things on their caskets; teddies, a furry mouse for the cat etc. And the crematorium I use sends a little condolence card, with a keepsake lock of their hair.
3 of the 5 were all added last year, and in each case,when I have known things were looking bad, I have prepared instructions for cremation etc, already written out, with dates, names, inscription for casket etc. That way, I still manage to stay "in control" when speaking to the vet.
A few days later, I go and bring my babies "home." And there they stay, on my dressing table, ready for when I go too! I want all the boxes put in MY box, and then we will all be together!! (Husband says the funeral expenses will be so huge, he will probably end up in the coffin with me, through shock!!) :D

( When we lost our horse a couple of years ago, we decided that it would be a bit much to have him on the dressing table too..........)
I know lots of people bury ashes in their gardens etc....but I couldn't bear the thought of moving and leaving them behind........
If husband goes first, I've told him he may be allowed to go in my box....depends if he behaves himself! LOL.

My sympathies to Sweep for the situation you are in: you will be OK....

Sam

I had to giggle about the horse...:D.... sorry :o