I'm just replying to the whining part :)
I would suggest totally ignoring the pup (by that I mean eye contact, voice, even talking about him!!!) when he is whining, and wait for a "lull" in the whines. When he stops for a few seconds, say "Good boy, Quiet", and then give calm attention, or let him out.
He probably wants to say "hallo" and you have to balance up his puppy happiness at seeing you, totally understandable, with teaching him to have good manners and getting the whole relationship right.
You will have to use your own judgement on this, but basically the idea is to never let the pup think that if hewhines he gets your attention, or you will be basically teaching him that this is what he must do to get what he wants. It is better to teach him that being Quiet will get him what he wants.
You could also practise teaching him the word "Quiet" - for example if he barks, (anywhere) and then stops, wait for a few seconds and then say "Quiet, what a good boy, Quiet" and praise or treat. It is a good idea to vary the reward when he is quiet so he never knows what to expect.
It is important to be consistent, so all familu members must do the same. YOu sound very fair, checking to see if he needs toilet etc, so I am sure you will be able to follow your own instincts as well :)
In time your neighbours may thank you for this early training ;) but I appreciate it may be difficult to implement because of them. Would it be possible to have a word with them, if they are understanding, and explain you are training the pup?If not, I would suggest "managing" the situation somehow - for example, if you decide it is easiest for all concerned to have him upstairs, could you have the crate upstairs? (I did this with my pup for a while).
Or let him up,but only after he has been quiet in the crate, make him Sit at the stairs, and insist on general good manners so he has to "work" a llittle to get what he wants. If he comes up it must be because you have allowed him, not because he has "bullied" you into it!

Finally have you tried giving him a stuffed KOng? Being a Lab I expect he loves his food, you may find this actually does the trick and you can keep him quiet for a while. But only give it to him if he is Quiet for a couple of seconds and gradually make this period longer until he will be Quiet for his Kong.
Good luck
LIndsay