A few weeks ago my father in law's Yorkie died very suddenlyof an enlarged heart and he is devistated :( She was 9 years old. He got her to the vet as soon as possible but they were unable to save her. To add to his distress he is now blaming himself, as a few months earlier the vet had told him that the dog had a slight heart murmer. He put it down to the fact that she got in a state about going to the vets, and the vet didn't contradict this or suggest any other treatment or check ups. But of course he now thinks that, had he taken her back and demanded more tests or treatment, he could have saved her.

I do not know enough about the subject to be sure whether there was likely to have been anything that coud have been done but felt sure that some of you would be able to shed some light on the subject. Don't worry about him reading this as he is not on the Internet!

Thank you for your help

Karen :)

Tell ur father in law not to blame himself, :( it's not his fault.
I'm very sorry to hear of his loss, but I'm sure she enjoyed the 9 years of her life that she had with him and felt very much loved. I'm sure she does not blame him so he definately should not blame himself. Guilt is always the hardest when u are dealing with a death of a loved one. That makes the grieving that much harder. Please tell him it's better to remember and cherish the time they did have together.
very sorry again of his loss :(

ttfn :(

Thank you Dollface

I will pass on your comments - I am sure that he will appreciate your kind thoughts and I hope we can convince him that he should not blame himself.

Thanks again
Karen :)

Your welcome :)
I sure hope he stops blaming himself :(

ttfn

Hi Karen
so sorry for your Dad and his loss. As far as heart murmers go, tell your Dad not to blame himself for not taking it further. If the vet thought the murmer needed treatment he would have said so. My standard poodle was diagnosed with a heart murmer at a couple of years old. I was advised to keep her weight down and see how she went. She never needed treatment for her heart and lived until she was sixteen and a half which isn't bad for a big dog :-)
Sue

Thank you Sue

I will tell him what you have said. It is a very difficult time for him as, not only was she a much loved dog that he had had from a puppy, but since my mother in law died a few years back, she has also been his only companion.

We all feel that he should get another dog but he is not ready yet and is unsure whether he ever will be - I think the fact that he is blaming himself is not helping :( He also worried that the dog may outlive him this time (although we have reassured him that we would take care of it if this were the case). or if it didn't he might have to go through this again. But he does miss the companionship of a dog so much.......

Anyway, thank you again for your help

Karen :)

Karen - I can sympathise with you wanting to help your Father in law.

My parents lost their beloved Cairn two years ago now. She was their third Cairn - all had lived to good ages - but Heidi was 15 when she died, so it had been a long time. My mum is in her mid 70's Dad is 70 this year. They do miss Heidi very much but my Mum was so devastated by this loss that she has constantly said she isn't ready for another. She knows it would bring so much but she is also worried about going before the dog and they are not ready to have another this time. Normally I would have found them another - as indeed I did with Heidi - but I knew then they wanted one really even though they said they didn't. (They had even made enquiries themselves about another and were so over the moon when I told them to stop enquiring:))This time it is different and it may seem like the wrong decision to us - but sometimes, we just have to go with what it is they not only say they want but do. What I am saying is - your FIL may be right in not being ready for another and perhaps never being so. I think it is also to do with no longer being able to take the pain of losing them. My folks now enjoy time with my boys without all the worry and stuff that goes with it. Perhaps that is what your FIL needs.

Yous FIL has nothing to blame himself for at all. He gave a little dog 9 wonderful years and loved her for all that time. If only all other dogs could have the same.

Pam n the boys

Pam

Thank you so much for your reply - I found it really touching. I understand what you are saying and you are right, maybe now is not the time for him to get another dog, and maybe it never will be. We have not tried to push him into anything and will not do so - we will respect his decision.

But I can't help but feel that he has so much to give to a dog and would get so much in return - but it has to be his decision. He knows that if he decided the time is right we will do all we can to help him find a new companion. He is a really lovely man and it is hard for us to see him hurting like this and feeling guilty.

Thank you for saying that he has no reason to feel guilty - I will tell him what you have said.

Thank you again for your reply - I really do appreciate it.

Karen:)