Desperate for advice, we have an almost 12 year old cocker loves people always happy to play with dogs at the park, although he can’t keep up with them now, the problem is his aggression towards our kids and our new puppy. He was 18months when we had our 1st child, he seemed happy enough for the first few months then he wanted nothing to do with her, growled whenever she went near him and it was the same when we had our 2nd child by the time our 3rd arrived he just didn’t want to know. The kids learnt to keep away from him, but the past couple of years he has got better and my oldest can now cuddle him but my youngest still can’t really pet him. 5 weeks ago we got a cocker puppy and he hates her. Yes she’s bouncy around him but even if she just walks past him he’s snarling, he’s bit her 3 times. He’s snarling at my husband and I. He has shown his aggressive side to us before but this is just awful, we can’t afford to pay for an expert so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

You may not like this advice, I would suggest to re-home the puppy asap, ask the kids to continue the routine of keeping out of the old dog’s way, and let the poor chap to live out his days in peace.

I think the expert won’t be much help at this stage when the dog is 12. He is a grumpy chap, and you’ve made the life difficult for him by introducing a bouncing puppy, of course his issues immediately got worse...

I agree with monkey

Thank you for your advice. I know that rehoming puppy is the solution but my kids would be devastated as would myself and husband, we generally thought that because he loves other dogs that he would like the pup...eventually, but I just can’t see it happening, it’s just the same as when the kids were wee and he’s not really bonded with them after the best part of 10 years he tolerates them.

How sad for your old dog, living such a life & having owners who have introduced a puppy & are not willing to allow him to Iive the end of his life in peace. You only have one course left, have him put down & keep the perfect puppy

I too would do what's best for your elderly dog - and that means take the puppy back to her breeder.   The kids will understand if you explain why to them.   Kids are often better at accepting situations, than we are and for me, you owe it to YOUR DOG to let him live out the remainder of his life, without having to cope with a puppy around.   And if the old boy is actually attacking the puppy, it would be way better to get her out of there before he really injures her.  JMO

Having him put to sleep is not an option he is my dog rather than the family dog and I adore him, and for 12 he is still full of life, we’ve been really lucky with him, the puppy was for the family and taking puppy back to the breeder isn’t an option  either as the puppies weren’t being cared for properly. I really appreciate everyone’s advice.

1.if the puppies were not being raised properly why did you buy one as this allows the breeder(& encourages)to breed again

2.you are being selfish wanting a puppy "for the family"& forcing an old dog to live an aggravated final few few years in the company of the puppy.

You clearly are not considering the quality of life of your old dog & at not willing to put him first. How very very sad. Perhaps if you had sorted out his temperament problems you would not be in this situation now.

I looked after a friend's young dog when her older other dog took against him for no reason. Turned out the older dog was terminally ill & after he had died I returned her young one.

To follow up on Tommee's post,

1. has your vet checked your old dog for "hidden" pain - dogs can hide a lot of pain and illness from us, but display it in their behaviour.

2. if you can't take the puppy back to the breeder, is there a family member or a friend who would foster the pup away from your home (but with visits from the family) while your old dog lives out his remaining life with you in his home?

1. We reported said breeder.

2. We did pay for a dog trainer when he was a puppy who suggested getting him neutered which we did and again when he was aggressive when our oldest 2 were babies. Nothing changed inside our home, he dislikes the kids and tries to dominate my husband by mounting him. Outside he runs over to every dog to see if they want to play or runs into the play park where kids are.

3. The puppy is not perfect but we have spent a
lot of care and love on her to get her healthy.

4. My dog has had and still has a good life, he sleeps with us at night, he has his own space on the sofa, we take him on long walks, to the beach and that hasn’t changed.

5. I regret posting on this website.

Sorry that you are sorry for posting on this site. I'm sure no-one is trying to hurtful but people on here are passionate and if you read your post back you may their point.

5 weeks ago we got a cocker puppy and he hates her. Yes she’s bouncy around him but even if she just walks past him he’s snarling, he’s bit her 3 times. He’s snarling at my husband and I. He has shown his aggressive side to us before but this is just awful

The two questions you can ask yourself are 1) is he happy? 2) what can you do about it?
The obvious answer may be to rehome the puppy. If you think there is a way you can keep the puppy and keep the old boy happy, that's great, but it doesn't sound as though he is happy with your current situation.

Yes, for 12 the vet said he is doing great for his age. Apart from lumps and bumps he is doing fine.

I know people are passionate about they’re dogs and I love my dog, I’d be lost without him. He never accepted the kids but giving him away was never an option and over the past 10 years he has grown to tolerate them, my youngest is only 4. I suppose we were hoping that through time he will accept her but need to know how to do it properly instead of giving up. I know 12 is old but he is still very much full of life and a lot of people are surprised by his age. Thank you

In that case, if you really want to keep both dogs, can you manage (using baby gates, playpens, or crates) to keep the two dogs separate in your house?  It would depend very much on the layout of your house, and whether all members of the household can keep to the rules, but you may be able to alternate which is "kitchen dog" and which is "living-room dog", or similar, and never leave them alone together, feed them separately (maybe one in a crate or playpen), make sure that toys, chews, or other items (can be as little as a dropped tissue!) which may cause an attack or even a fight are removed if both dogs share  an area (including the garden) always under supervision of someone who can separate them *.  You may need to walk them either separately or with two people, one with each dog.

However much he plays with other dogs outside his home (on neutral territory), your older dog is upset by an intruder in his home (den).  He may be feeling his age and here (he thinks) is this youngster to push him out. If it were me, I would make sure the older one knows he is still special; feed him first, greet him first, pet him first, groom him first, give him a treat first. He may accept that the pup is not going away, much as he has accepted your children.

This may not be the way you would like it to be, but under the circumstances keeping them separated is the only way to keep them both, in your own home, and safely.


*Probably only you and your husband unless your oldest child is very sensible and dog-savvy enough to recognise the signs of trouble and avert it before it happens.

If you are intent on keeping both dogs then I recommend you get a decent behaviourist in under the apbc to assess the set up and both your dog and the puppy. They will advise on management and also best way forward. Baby gates, crates and pens are very handy to have. Until you've sought someone out to visit and assess my advice is keep the pup away from the dog for the time being.
Anything that the behaviourist recommends will need to be done the same way from everyone which includes adults and children. Can they the children be trusted to make sure Baby gates are kept closed and to keep both dogs apart for the time being?

When was the last time your dog had a full mot? So with that I mean full bloods, eyesight checked, hearing checked, thorough going over in terms of pain in all joints and muscular areas? A good behaviourist will request this is done before they will assess the dog

> tries to dominate my husband by mounting him.

This jumps out at me.  Dogs do not try to dominate people - we are a different species, and they know that.  It's a myth.

However, humping is often an expression of stress.  That is understandable with the situation he is living in.

I'm going to go against the grain and suggest you rehome him, rather than the puppy because although he's 12, he is as you said still full of life and currently, he's living in a house with a puppy he can't stand who's just arrived, and a number of children who he doesn't like and never has.  Honestly, I think he would be best in a child and puppy free home because even if the puppy went back to the breeder, the kids would still be there.

If you really are determined to keep both dogs then you need training help (we don't all charge a fortune), I would keep him separate from kids and puppy (because they are going to want to be around the pup so will be together a lot of the time), and I would go back to the vet and ask for a trial of painkillers, even if the vet can't find anything on examination.  I have seen many cases of dogs (including some of my own) where the dog is in pain but hides it too well at the vet and when you've got longstanding temperament issues, the tiniest twinge can cause a massive behavioural deterioration.  And it isn't always minor.  My older collie still runs and charges about like an idiot, and she has quite bad hip and back pain - the chiropractor nearly lost her fingers when she hit a sore spot!  But Phoebe still acts like a puppy.  She has longstanding issues including aggression towards me and the others, much improved but her guarding was starting to get a lot worse but put on painkillers and it's all but disappeared.  It's actually better than it was before it got worse (if that makes sense), so her pain has been there for quite some time before I recognised it and I pick these things up very early on.

He had a check up just before Christmas as he was unwell, I mentioned his hearing sight etc and vet wasn’t concerned. So all was fine.

As soon as I read that your behaviourist had advised castration I was alarmed.  Do not ever use this person again.  It's scary that a behaviourist is so misinformed.

Vet wasn't concerned but did they actually assess his sight and hearing? It's a very thorough assessment that is needed for a good behaviourist and not a quick look at them.

Simply you can't carry on as you are as not only is the pup at risk so are the humans from being bitten and I don't think you'd forgive yourself if one of your children were bitten or the puppy seriously injured if not killed. Things will escalate unless you make changes and quickly

I'll get in touch with my vet tomorrow, thank you.

I have a very grumpy 12 years old. I've had to realise the hard way that he does not like living with other entire males and have now twice had to re-home his sons. What would really worry me in your situation is what could happen when your pup reaches adult hood. She could end up having real issues with other dogs because of his behaviour towards her or worse she, as a younger and fitter dog, could decide to turn on him and either really hurt or even kill him (and no I don't think I'm exaggerating as that was the reason I re-homed one of my younger boys last year)

Add into this the mix of your children and their friends and I think you have some serious decisions to make....

Thank you for your reply.

I agree with the others who have said about keeping them separate.   Your old boy needs to live out his retirement in peace so the next thing to do is train your family and work out how to keep them separate without your house feeling like a prison.  12 years is a massive age gap for bringing in a pup. Lots of people live with dogs kept apart - it's not something I would want to do but with thought and having the whole family on board, you can do it.