Hope this isn't too long! I run a Kennels from my parents' place full time and in addition to this we have been breeding our chosen breed, which we both love, for the past 7 years. The kennel name is in my mother's name, all puppies and our breeding bitches are registered to her, and all money from puppies go to her & my father. However, when it comes to the dogs I look after them full time in addition to my actual job, I also sort out health testing, vet visits, finding a suitable stud, take bitches to stud, take them to scans, I do the whelping, and spend the next 10 weeks cleaning up, house training, feeding, socialising (very extensively), speaking to new owners, organising visits and being there when people visit/ collect puppies 90% of the time, ordering food, sorting out insurance, take puppies for vet checks, take them out in the car etc. I also put together puppy packs and sort out all worming- basically I do everything to do with the breeding bar the odd weekend when I'm competing my own dogs. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing this but it is a hell of a lot of work, and I put a huge amount of effort into producing quality dogs with good health, temperament and looks, not to mention making sure they are well socialised and ready to go out and face the world. I don't get any money from whatever puppy sales get, even once expenses are taken out, and feel that I might be being taken advantage of- even if it's not intentional on my parents' part, they aren't money grabbing people, puppy money gets spent on things they need, and I think they may have just gotten so used to it now as I used to just occasionally help, but for the last 4 years it has been me doing it exclusively as they both work full time away from home. I also feel that my name really ought to be at least joint on the kennel name due to the amount of work I put in. Should I be asking for some sort of cut from puppy money? Or am I being unreasonable? I haven't approached them about it yet. TIA! EDIT: should add that on average puppies from our breed sell for between £1200-£1700 and we've always had litters of 4 or more.

Maybe your parents haven't realised that you are grown up now.  But whether they are aware of it or not, they are, IMHO, being grossly unfair to you.  However, there are so many complex aspects to relationships between parents and their adult children, that basically each one has to know what is right for them and how they want to or are able to approach the problem.  I am very familiar with all of the work you are doing - and bravo for doing it! - and it is collosal!  You really should be remunerated and recognised.  Think of what they would have to pay someone else to do what you do!  In fact, they probably could not even hope to find anyone who would do your work with so much generosity, involvement and kindness.  Good luck.

Have you ever just thought about saying "No" when the next litter is mentioned? Or is it you that also does all the planning of the next litters as well as everything else you do? If you weren't so accomodating then there wouldn't be any puppies needing to be whelped etc.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but as someone who was also always a "giver" and never a "taker" it can be very easy to get into the rut of being taken for granted. It took me having an accident and being out of action for a long time to make me realise that it's OK to say "no" sometimes, even to the people that we love.

It isn't easy to give advice as not all parents/children relationships are the same...

> puppy money gets spent on things they need

Your parents need money, and if you can afford to help them with this need, does it matter how you do it, either by giving them money directly, or indirectly by preparing the puppies for sale?

You say you run a kennels from their place, do you get all the profit from the kennels and do they charge you rent? If not then it seems like a fair trade to me.

To be honest though family is family, I wouldn't dream of asking my aprents for money (when they were alive) for something I did for them, they looked after me and sacrificed things for me when I was growing up

Discuss how you feel with your parents....if you don't how will they know how you feel?

It may be that it's not occurred to them to change things from how it's always been.

It's never good to bottle things up, in my experience they always get worse!

I would want to be a co-owner of their affix.   However, when I was still living at home, working in London full time, I remember giving my parents quite a large percentage of my salary, for 'the pot'.  That continued until I married and 'left home'.   It irked me, and still does after all the years, that my sister finished school, went to Teachers Training College, qualified and was married - she didn't return home after she left for TTC, so never contributed to 'the pot' at all!

If you had premises for the kennel other than with your parents, you would be looking at buying, or renting?   So you should probably factor that into the income from the kennel activities.

I'd suggest, as each situation is unique, now is the time to sit down with your parents and air your feelings.  One of my good friends worked with her mother re their show/breeding activities, and although I don't know what the financial arrangements were, she was a co-owner with her mother, of their affix.  I don't know at what point this was made a co-ownership, but she bred under that name after she left for Canada.   Until she was married out there to a man with his own affix which she then used, dropping her mother's affix, as a co-owner with her husband.

Time to sit them down and tell them exactly what you have told us. The chances are that they haven't given it a second thought and because you haven't said anything, they do not realise that there is a problem. Give them the chance to put it right.

I should clarify- my parents both work full time and wouldn't be able to breed at all if I wasn't doing it. Between them they earn a very reasonable amount but don't blow it on holidays etc., just somehow gets swallowed up by who knows what. I now own my own place with my partner about 10 minutes away but travel back to work every day, I get a basic wage (7.50 p/h) for running/ managing the business as well as day to day things like dog walking and cleaning as sole employee, the kennels make more than double what I earn but my parents also own the kennels so profit goes to them from kennels as well. I also do school runs and look after my younger brothers while parents are at work. I'm not sure what I should really be suggesting to them to be honest but think I need to talk to them about it.

I think I'd resign and get a better paid job.

You have your own home and future to finance.

I did think about changing jobs but at the moment I can bring my own dogs to work with me, and I'm wanting to start my own family in the very near future, but in this job I'd be able to bring any children to work with me and get someone part time to walk dogs and clean rather than paying for childcare (to make up for childcare and a dog walker to come let the dogs out I'd need to be earning 10-15k more per year). It is very frustrating though.

Well I'd be negotiating to be paid a 'Living Wage', for the overtime involved with the breeding.. 

As employers your parents would have to pay someone that and also Provide this new Work Place pension that keeps being advertised.

It's a difficult one isn't it? I may be off the mark but has someone been sowing little seeds of discontent into your head? Be careful with that as it can split many a family in two.

Let's look at this logically,

Your parents work full time but also own a kennel and dogs....... they employ/allow you to run the kennels and also run their breeding programmes, they (I presume) rent, own the land and property, pay the insurance, electric, gas, water, food, maintenance, tax etc of the business and they also pay you and others a wage to run things, in effect you are the manageress (although I agree your wages are way under par for a manageress.)

You have a job which will allow you to take your dogs to work with you and as you say, future children also,

Now, if you were just their employee and not their daughter would it cross your mind for one second that you should become a partner in their kennel name/ business........ I doubt it, you would just move on if the wages were too low for the work you do.

Parents 'generally' will pass on their family business to their children or give a share in the profits, but your parents don't sound to even be financially comfortable yet, as you say they are not frivolous.

You need a pay rise hun, and yes a chat about the future in whether you may inherit the business, or become a future partner, but it's not a given as others have said, depends on the family and it is not a right because you work hard, plenty of employees work hard and management get all the rewards and plenty of parents are not generous.

They may have no idea, or no intention............. you know them better than us.

But go into any pleasant chats over a coffee with the foresight that if they say 'no' will you leave, will you plod on resentfully?

Please remember you are not the owner of anything here, if a parent has no intention of partnership, you need to just put yourself back in the box of employee only and look to your future and not what your parents have, hopefully leading to you starting your own business and breeding programme, after all you now have the experience., whichever way it goes.

But please, do not fall out with your parents over money and title, life is too short, if they don't value or see your worth, do it yourself on your own.

So, as I read it you run a kennels from your parents home and presumably this is the job you speak of, I am assuming that you live rent free, have the kennels free and keep it as a separate enterprise, taking a salary from the business. Perhaps you should cost up how much it would take for you to start the business elsewhere and look at the work you put into the breeding side of it as remuneration for the use of facilities, if this isn't the case then maybe you could have a talk with your parents with a view to the future.  If you can talk to them then it might be possible for you to set out your vision for the coming years, what you want and what they want and I would suggest a legal agreement between you, it is so easy for things to become difficult and everyone to be unhappy.

Been there, done that. Top tip do something before exploding and losing it big time.

Easiest and simplest way is to ask for a pay rise and go from there.

> But go into any pleasant chats over a coffee with the foresight that if they say 'no' will you leave, will you plod on resentfully?

This is one of the best well thought-out replies here - wish I'd had the time to do similar!!   The one comment in this reply that stands out is as highlighted above.    Once there is a no, what then!!?

But as a last comment, coming from my own experience of being from a generation that didn't question parents, once it's too late, you could like me, be left with 'why didn't I'.   So if you can talk all this through with them without it going to a flat 'no', do it.  I didn't ask questions that should have been asked until my mother died, my father remarried, and then died, leaving EVERYTHING to his new wife, who lived outside the UK.

I can only speak from my  own point of view as a parent. If I were employing one of my children I would make sure they were paid for all the hours they worked not just for looking after the kennels. Not sure from your post if your wages include any payments for the additional hours, if there are any, that  you spend on the breeding side of the business but if I was your employer I would certainly pay you for all the hours you worked - for both roles you play in the business.

I wouldn't expect my children - if they were my employees - to be paid any less than an employee who was not a family member. I would certainly pay them the hourly rate agreed for all the hours they worked. Another employee wouldn't be expected to work unpaid hours - and despite  being your parents they are also your employers- so it is not unreasonable to be paid for all the hours you work for them.

If the breeding and care of the pups etc is done within  normal work hours then no I wouldn't expect to give you a share of the sale price of the puppies but if it is on top of your normal hours then yes I would pay you for the extra hours that work entailed but at an hourly rate not a percentage
of the sale price.

Being able to take your own dogs/children to work with you is great but there are other jobs where people can take their dogs with them - I have a friend who is a farm secretary and her dogs go with her to work as did the dogs belonging to another friend who also worked at a kennels.

I agree that we should all help our parents out - mine are in their nineties and I do help them out and wouldn't dream of charging them for my help - but your parents are actually employing you to work for them so that is a different situation in my view.

Hopefully you will be able to have a nice chat with your parents and tell them how you feel and sort it all out amicably. It's certainly not something worth falling out over but if you don't have that chat you will have to be very careful that you don't start to feel resentful and then things stand a good chance of getting out of hand. They are your parents and you should be able to talk to them about anything at all. I would hate it if my children had a concern over a matter that affected us both but didn't feel they could bring the subject up. Sometimes as parents we can forget to review situations as our children grow into adulthood and just carry on regardless as we have done for years.

The average wage for a kennel manager which you are I'm lead to believe is around £25k per annum.  Are you getting paid cash in hand or is it all going through the books and tax n ni being paid as that in itself could have a major impact for your future too.

You do need to sit down with them and have a list of things you want to cover with them as well.

Good luck