I am hoping the casket arrives as planned - they did say 3-5 days and it has already been more than that. To be honest I can't wait to have him home - at this point I am beyond caring of which form he is in, as long as he is home. I know nothing will ever separate us and having his ashes placed in my own casket prior to cremation will mean that we will be together again some time in the future.

I have a canvas painting of him hanging in my lounge - gifted to me by Doris' husband, that I look at each day, I kiss his collar which is under my pillow every night and I have lit a candle for him before his passing that has continuously burned since monday. I shall allow it to burn out once the ashes are here but it will remain lit until then.

I miss him but I am not sinking in to depression as my sister and husband feared - I know I did the right thing for him and that gives me comfort.

It will get better and those of us who have loved and lost - know that we do this to ourselves because it is worth it. They are right when they say it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all....

ETA: I am sorry for your loss too Kate H - I am sure there is another soul running free at the bridge :)

I'm sure there is. I got comfort too from knowing I made the right decision. It's our job to protect them from suffering. I had some pork chops past week for dinner and realised I had cooked two extra as normal for Charlie as he loved them without even realising. I hope the pork chops over the bridge are huge

I am so sorry to have read your news and my thoughts and prayers are with you. You did the right thing as you said.