Hello.  I'm hoping to get some helpful advice please.  I have two young children, one almost 3 and one is 6.  The 3 year old was diagnosed with a neurological disorder some time ago and although it is believed to be autism, the professionals are reluctant to make a full diagnosis until next year.  Last year we were worried she had a brain tumor as she could hardly stand without falling and looked like a drunk little girl.  It was a really hard time.  She absolutely loves animals though and despite all the meltdowns we had to endure, when she was around any friends' dogs, she was a lot calmer and seemed to relate really well with them.  After a lot of consideration and talking to people, we decided to get a dog as we believed this would benefit both children, but particularly the younger one.  I had met a local breeder at his other place of work and so knew of him and how dedicated he was/is to his dogs.  We had lengthy conversations and in January this year, received one of his Labrador puppies.  The girls instantly fell in love with her and although it was a tough 4 months getting used to this gorgeous new addition to our family with the toilet training etc., we felt like we had come out the other side.  However, then my eldest daughter was diagnosed with a very rare form of epilepsy and she was having hundreds of seizures a day.  The dog would often lie with the children when she knew they needed her, it was amazing how emotionally intelligent she was.  She also stopped my youngest from falling over on several occasions by going the other side of her and propping her up!  We did all the puppy classes, spoiled her, like you do a new dog, she really was part of our family and all of my extended family loved her to bits.  However, my eldest daughter started having more and more hospital appointments over an hours drive (sometimes more) away.  My parents would often look after our dog as I would never want to leave her in the car but it was getting to the point where the dog was coming before the children and needing more attention, I felt so drained from looking after two children with special needs and it wasn't fair on anyone.  Plus the dog was mouthing my young one a lot and had become a fair bit more hyper, knocking her over, but still well behaved over all.  I took the decision to speak to the Breeder one afternoon.  In hindsight, I should have taken more time to think about it.  To cut a long story short, I ended up letting him take her.  I was in pieces but my children had to come first and I was struggling.  The next morning I phoned the Breeder to say I had discussed with my Sister and Brother in Law (local to me, 10 minute drive,who have their names down for a lab puppy) that they would love to have our dog instead as our whole family had grown to love her and they have a great size house and dog proof garden.  His parents used to breed and he's grown up with labs so he's very experienced.  I hadn't initially thought of this as firstly I thought they would want their own from the beginning but I also thought it may be too hard for myself and immediate family. But after some thought, I realised this would be an amazing outcome - the dog comes back within the extended family so we can look after her sometimes, walk her, etc. without the everyday responsibility that we can't manage currently. Also the children who became very attached to her, would still have her in their lives (my daughter has been quite down since she left).  However, even after phoning the Breeder to ask this, and following up with an email confirming, he will not commit to anything (after weeks) and I'm sure he wants to keep her.  I feel so sad and I know some of you will probably say I brought it all on myself but all along I've tried to do what's best, we didn't envisage my eldest daughter needing so much care.  I feel helpless, he was insistent I sign her back over to him (he said otherwise he would hold things up) so we have no control.  I thought he was such a nice guy but just keeps saying she's not ready - she was an amazing dog so it all sounds a bit crazy.  Is there anything I can do??  Thank you.

> he made me sign her back over to him

And this is why I doubt that you have any chance.  When I think about (I know it's not the same thing) when the RSPCA visit homes where they want to collect a neglected dog, they talk the owner into signing the dog over to them.

In the eyes of the law a dog is property so no different to sending back a vase that you bought, and changed your mind about.  I don't agree with it, but it's law.

I'm sorry that I can't be more helpful, and hope that another member can come up with some ideas for you.

That was my fear.  I know we can give her an amazing home between us all, she loved our family.  It's so hard!  Thank you for replying.

In a word hun, no................... so sad you did not think of it sooner, but legally you have no stance here.

As a breeder myself, it's very stressful worrying about the best home for your dog, handing a dog back is a huge sigh of relief for any breeder as often they get passed on. I don't know where the breeder stands or what they think, but I dare say they are extremely worried and un-trusting of the dogs future, passing a dog from home to breeder, to home again is so unsettling for a dog, the breeder will opt to now keep the dog (often that happens so as not to cause anymore stress) or careful vet a new home for her.

The only thing I can suggest is that you would kindly ask the breeder to visit your sister and brother-in-law at their home to see where she would live and sit and talk seriously to them and then make a decision as to the best home for her dog (as she is now) keep calm and talk pleasantly on the phone or go and see her, don't e-mail, you need real contact here......... if the breeder is to give 'your family' another chance with this dog he/she has to really feel it and believe it.

I hope that things will improve with your daughters, it's a tough time right now and bless you,  you did do the right thing by your dog.... our children must always come first.

I hope that everything will work out, but it will be up to the breeder. ((hug))

Thank you, I appreciate your reply and completely see where you're coming from.  He knows we gave her a great home though (he told me weeks before what a great job I was doing with her when out walking together) so that's the frustrating thing and he's met most of my family, including my Sister.  He said he was going to phone my Brother in law this week and hasn't,  I just feel like he's not being straight so none of us know where we stand.  Do we move on, do we wait?  I feel like this is yet another stress but I don't want to give up. 

Ps I did ask to visit him to discuss but he didn't seem keen.

Doesn't sound good does it.......... perhaps as your sis and brother-in-law are to potentially be the new owners maybe they are the ones who need to actually phone and talk to the breeder so that the breeder knows how keen and serious they are in offering her a forever home, I agree it would be nice to keep her in the family, but as keen as you are, they now need to really impress him, you see there must be the worry that being with your sister there is the enticement for you to maybe talk her into letting you have the dog back in the future, the breeder may have visions of this dog going back and forth and then nowhere? And that your sister may be doing a kindness for you, and not really want this dog forever.

All these doubts need removing, so let them tell this breeder how much they will love and care for this dog, until the end of her life.....and they need to mean it.

If that doesn't work, there's no choice but to let go ...which I know will be devastating....xxx

Helpful, thank you.

My experience would be on the other side of the discussion, long ago I sold a GSD puppy to a home which came highly recommended by a friend, when the dog was 7 months they phoned me to say that their daughter was no longer happy to visit them because the dog was too boisterous with the grandchildren and they were afraid of him. I asked them to bring him back which they did and he was a nightmare lunatic who had never been given any training, 4 days later they phoned and said they couldn't live without him and they took a week to persuade me that they would put the work into making him an easier dog to cope with. I did a bit more work with him and they came to take him home and he stayed with them and became the neighbourhood poster boy for GSD's.

I really hope that your get your lab back and I am sorry that your breeder doesn't seem willing to talk with you but he has the best interests of his dog at heart and perhaps he sees that it would not be the right decision. You have all my sympathy in a very difficult situation.