Yikes, I thought I would have some time before I got enquiries (mating is not till March!!!).

Someone who sounds like a suitable home (from what I can glimpse in an email) has said they are interested and would like to come and meet mum.  This is going to involve travelling some distance, on their part.  (A flight!).

I am a bit worried in case they do this, and then I decide they're not a suitable home after all - and then they have spent a lot of time and hope in coming to visit and they might even think I've led them on a bit??

Should I quiz/vet them more, at this stage, before they come and visit, so I can help them avoid the trip if it seems they are not suitable after all?  I could speak on the phone - or I have an email questionnaire which I planned to send out much later. 

I hadn't intended to vet people too much at this very early stage, just to keep a list of interested people and then go through that list in more detail maybe after the mating has happened.  But now these people are asking to come and visit, and I can see it is best for them to see mum before pregnancy really... what is it best to do?  Thanks!

Yes would certainly be doing lots of quizzing re the home in such a case before they travelled - even with usual UK owners generally do some filtering first so as not to waste time. If pass a telephone interview they get an invite to visit .
When receiving overseas enquiries I have asked for references too

I'm assuming this is an overseas enquiry or are they going to take a domestic flight (within the UK)   - do you like to sell overseas?   That being the case, personally I'd explain to them that it's well early and that right now, much as you'd love to send them photos of mum and dad and any other relatives you have photos of, you'd far rather them delay actually visiting until you have 'something to show them'.   That would keep your options open - you don't know how many puppies she'll have, if any, or whether you'll have any available.   Why commit until you know the picture a little more clearly, and in the meantime you should be able to make your own enquiries about who these people are!   Too pushy pushes me AWAY I'm afraid.

You have to admit it's a bit off to have people approach you if the actual mating isn't until March (2016?).   Hum.   By all means take their contact information but visiting you at this point - sorry, not something I'd allow.  

Are they coming here on holiday?

Are they 'casing the joint'?

ps    Having said that, having found a person, reasonably local to us here, for my switch of breeds, I did phone and she had a bitch in whelp.   She suggested we might like to see her stock, and obviously mum, which we did.   We went back two more times after she'd whelped before we went to pick up our puppy, at 9 weeks.

At this stage I also only take details and keep a list. I ask basic questions and tell them about us including history.
I am planning a "possible mating" in the new year but all manner of things could happen in the mean time and even if the mating goes ahead she might miss.
No, I wait until I have something more concrete to offer. If they go elsewhere that is fine of course.

An email questionnaire WOW!!!!!!!

I often have people come to visit the dogs several months before pups are due. Just had some visit a couple of weeks ago, have another 3 wanting to come including one who will have a 7 hr journey -bitch is to be mated in April. Unless it's a case of people wanting to meet the breed, find out if it really is for them etc, I do not allow potential puppy buyers to visit until I have made as sure as I can that they are right for one of my pups. So that means a fair bit of e-mail contact (I don't like talking on the phone) with all questions answered from both sides. So by the time they come to visit, I'm pretty sure I will be happy for them to have a pup.

Oh, I do love you for saying you don't like talking on the phone Goldmali - I also hate it I was thinking I would just have to FORCE myself, in the name of doing the right thing, to have long phone conversations with strangers, asking probing questions about their life - but if you don't do that, then maybe I can do the right thing without it :D

I replied to the people saying that they could come and meet mum, and us (dad lives oop north in the UK, so they won't be able to see him), and then I asked them when they were thinking of.  I can then steer them from there... and say ooo, way too early, if I need to.

I guess it's just that I don't want to feel... indebted isn't the right word... I don't want to feel like I owe them a puppy because they have made a big trip to see us, if you know what I mean.  Of course I wouldn't let them have a pup even if they came, if I thought they were unsuitable, but then I would feel bad that they had made the visit and a big effort, for nothing.

On the other hand, I don't want to be grilling people by email this early and before the mating has even happened!!!! That would seem a bit invasive and a bit much(!).  They could be a very suitable home....

Sheesh...

PS - it would be a domestic flight between islands, not completely overseas.

Hmmm. It is a little bit of an odd one. At this stage I would usually take names and invite them to tell me more about themselves and their homes. I then wait to see if they continue contact to gauge how committed they really are to me and my pups.

If you want to invite them out you don't owe them anything, as long as you've made them aware that they aren't guaranteed a pup...she may not even take at her next mating even if you do like the interested parties.

When I get an enquiry I reply telling them about me and my girl, answer any questions they have asked and attach a puppy questionnaire for them to answer and ask them to tell me a bit more about themselves.
The questionnaire covers things like, their and their family info (name of people, adress ect), why they want the breed, work commitment and how long the plan to leave the puppy alone on a regular basis, how they plan to toilet train the pup, if they want to do any activity with the pup (eg show ect), past dog experance, what they are looking for in the puppy (eg sex).
Once I get the questionnaire back I'll call them for a chat and explain how I'm running my list and how it will all work. Then will try to arrange a meet up preferably at a show or for a walk for the first meet.

I fine with the questionnaire if they have been truthful of course I'll have a good idea of their life style and what there expecting from the pup so I can discuss any concerns before they travel to meet us. I had one enquiry from someone who had previously had the breed however I didn't think they were ready to take one on currently. I explained my concern and suggested maby an older pup or adult would be more suitable for them. They were great about it and said how nice it was to see I realy cared where my pups will be going and they agreed with me and said they would Waite a few months.

I had planned to do like u originally but found it so reassuring to have a list of names well in advance with people who I had met or knew I'd be happy to let have a puppy. I've been keeping 2 lists, one's of people I have met and would defernatly be happy to let have a puppy the other is for people I'm yet to meet.

They may want to just meet the breed and could end up deciding the breed isn't for them! I would just say that you can't guarantee them a puppy when the time comes but they are more than welcome to come and meet the breed and get an idea if they think it will be the breed for them.I don't see what would be wrong with that. I get people approach me at shows to "meet" a WT, and that's not really the ideal time (with show prep happening, me trying to watch rings and the dog not being in a home environment), if they were interested a visit might make them open up about their circumstances. It's very easy to lie over the phone or in an email!

I had to fill in an email questionnaire to get my two rats

JoStockbridge, I like lots of that. I guess I am afraid of coming on too strong with questionnaires too early on! But I would like that basic info.... Hmmmm.

I had a couple come to visit long before the planned mating of my last litter. With a breed like one, there are sooo many different types and fairly frequently one Leo barely resembles another leo, yet both could be champions.... For me, it was important that I meet people in the flesh and they get to meet mum in the flesh as soon as possible.... Particularly pet owners who haven't seen the bitch before as she may not be the "type" they are after. I can't see the point in waiting for weeks only to discover that the type produced isn't the one you want.... Not only that, but I find it easier to catch a prospective buyer in a lie during face to face meetings rather than over the phone or by email.

An email questionaire  wow from me too. So in this form you get all the personal  information, full name, address,work commitment (does this include work occupation  and address) Then why want puppy, what you plan to do re showing etc. After all this filed in you could just say no but have loads of information about people.With all the current fraud and ID identity theft I would not be happy giving thsee details out. Again this morning a main broadband supplier closed down due to cyber attacks.
On the other side of the coin do I the buyer send a questionaire  out asking for the same personal details of the breeder and rest of the family? When I feel they have been truthful with me-how do I or you tell? Do you Google the people? Google earth for house pictures?Search engines for names? How do you decide it's true?
I understand wanting the best for pups however initial enquiries for me should be a basic one not war and peace and a Spanish inquisition. It works both ways trust, buyer and seller.

Similar to klb as most of my enquiries are unlikely to be very local.

I Phrase things that I need to assess if their lifestyle and expectations will mean the breed and they are a good match, and in your case would add that of course you both need to be really sure that it is before embarking on a long journey to visit, in case not.

Overseas enquiries, must either be introduced by someone know and trust, and/or get references from trustworthy sources, a vet, training club, with a pet they will normally have had the breed before, and with people in the breed will also be of good standing in the breed community.

In the end with overseas enquiries if they are prepared for getting references the cost of shipping (normally more than the puppy costs with documentation vaccination etc) then they are likely to be committed owners.

> You have to admit it's a bit off to have people approach you if the actual mating isn't until March (2016?).   Hum.   By all means take their contact information but visiting you at this point - sorry, not something I'd allow.

Now I want people to visit and meet the dogs before the distraction of any puppies, and people prepared to research and wait 6 months or more for their puppies are a plus in my book.

I do expect to loose some of my waiting list along the way,  and even pass some of them onto other breeders who have the odd puppy not spoken for (which is why I email along each stage, mating, confirming pregnancy, and finally whelping, and discount those who don't reply).

My breed though well established is very low in numbers, just 7 litters and 40 pups last year, (never over 100 in last 10 years) so they tend to be feast or famine, re puppy availability and ditto puppy enquiries.

For example I know of three litters due in November yet the breed hasn't had any pups around for a couple of months at all.

I don't think there would be any risk of identity theft from a questionnaire. The basic contact info you would need and the other questions are not things that are going to help someone steal your identity (or how long do you plan leaving puppy for?) etc.... It's not going to ask for bank account details.

Yes, though - as a breeder I would welcome a buyer who asked me all those kind of questions and grilled me. It would show they have done their research.

But I do get that the overall impression might be an inquisition.

Perhaps, if people want to visit now, I'll get them to do the questionnaire at this point. If they are not asking to visit, I'll just add them to the list and not do questionnaire till later after mating.

> So in this form you get all the personal  information, full name, address,work commitment (does this include work occupation  and address) Then why want puppy, what you plan to do re showing etc.

After all this filed in you could just say no but have loads of information about people.With all the current fraud and ID identity theft I would not be happy giving these details out.

Again this morning a main broadband supplier closed down due to cyber attacks.

No I would not want the address of their work.

I had the opposite situation, in that I had a puppy enquiry from a family in Guernsey. They came to visit me the day before they were going on holiday abroad as they were going to be in  England , just added an extra day's holiday on to their vacation. I then delivered the puppy to them as a day trip visitor, it worked out a lot better for the puppy. Could it be that they intend to come and visit you as part of a holiday?

You say that you are concerned about them making this long journey and then you may not like them, there is also no guarantee that your bitch will get pregnant. Like Jo, I always send out a questionnaire to any puppy enquiry. It helps to have some info on people before you talk to them.

Last year I had a waiting list of 14 people, when Jelli came into season I contacted everyone and all but 2 dropped out! I always explain that although I may have had people contact me before this particular person it didn't necessarily mean they were "last" on my list.

oops don't know what happened there I was quoting then the phone rang!!!

Anyway I would want basic information on lifestyle work hours etc, not the actual details of where and for whom, the town they live in, home rented or owned (if rented do they know if they are even allowed to have dogs) address of course once they pass initial vetting.

Make up of family ages not DOB's for goodness sake.

So I don't see the worry over misuse of private information.

Now I want people to visit and meet the dogs before the distraction of any puppies, and people prepared to research and wait 6 months or more for their puppies are a plus in my book.

I do expect to loose some of my waiting list along the way,  and even pass some of them onto other breeders who have the odd puppy not spoken for (which is why I email along each stage, mating, confirming pregnancy, and finally whelping, and discount those who don't reply).

Exactly the same with me. Last time I had pups I had a huge litter of 12 so ended up with a couple available for people who did not appear until the pups had already been born and were about a week old, but the majority had been waiting for many months. For my next mating, where pups most likely won't be ready to go until August, I currently have about 8 people interested. But I know some will vanish along the way. I definitely prefer people to come and visit before there are pups, because it is adult dogs they need to meet, not cute puppies. And although there are exceptions (one of my best puppy buyers ever was one who appeared when pups were already born) I find the best buyers are those that wait for months or years and that you have time to get to know. The fact they are prepared to wait usually means they are very dedicated, and that they choose the breeder as the one they want rather than the pup. How the breeder does everything, what lines they have etc, matters a lot.

As for questionnaires, personally I don't do them. I find it is more relaxing and easy for both me and the buyer if I just ask a few basic questions such as what made you interested in this breed, what is your dog experience, what do you want to do with the pup etc, and then you almost always get a long explanation of previous dogs etc and that works great for me.  You can get so much more out of it then when you stick to set questions. Again one of my favourite buyers (one of those that has turned into a close friend) I initially turned down because it did not sound right. Thankfully this buyer then proceeded to off their own back tell me a lot more about past experience etc and for the first time ever, I changed my mind -which as it turned out was the absolute right thing to do.

I understand wanting the best for pups however initial enquiries for me should be a basic one not war and peace and a Spanish inquisition.

If you want the very best homes for your puppies as a reputable breeder you have a clear criteria of the type of owner that you are looking for. A basic enquiry on my part would not tell me if the prospective family meets that criteria, and it would be unfair of me to build a relationship with them, if at a much later date I suddenly decide that they are not suitable because we finally "trust" eachother enough to share our work commitments.

The sooner both parties discuss their expectations and obligations the more transparent that relationship becomes and therefore trust develops much more quickly. I have a very popular breed, yet have people on my waiting list for over 12 months. All prospective parents are made aware from the outset the background information I require is to ensure their suitability for both the breed and my own beliefs and thoughts. The only way we can identify mutual suitability is to ask numerous questions; I would rather do this at the very beginning of an enquiry so that potential parents do not waste their time investing in a relationship with me that will not ultimately lead to them having one of my puppies.

I understand wanting the best for pups

If you truly understand the love, care, obligation and responsibility reputable breeders feel when trying to secure the very best homes for our pups you would also understand the necessity of us asking so many questions , so early on in the process, to ensure we get it right, both for ourselves and the people making the initial enquiry.

One bad decision, one comment not questioned, one google search not completed or one question unasked could lead to a lifetime of misery for a beautiful dog that I helped to bring into this world. So sorry but I will be direct, I will ask for "war and peace" and I will subject you to a "spanish inquisition" and if you don't like that are more than welcome to simply walk away.

If you truly understand the love, care, obligation and responsibility reputable breeders feel when trying to secure the very best homes for our pups you would also understand the necessity of us asking so many questions , so early on in the process, to ensure we get it right, both for ourselves and the people making the initial enquiry.

You as a breeder have the liberty to choose who has a puppy from you. The prospective buyer also has the liberty to choose a breeder. A blunt harsh response from breeders can put off a very good prospective puppy owner having not been given a chance by the breeder. A breeder equally can be put off by a " u got any pups? ' enquiry and moves away from that person. A relationship does take time to develop,first impressions,emails,tone of voice can make a difference. A good short polite email on both parties can move it forward  to the next stage.  A meet away from home equally a good idea even if afterwards it makes both parties hesitate.
As you have the right to say, you will subject people to 'Spanish inquisition  and war & peace. I can advise I'd not view this approach as suitable for me and walk away from that breeder. This approach can turn some of these good puppy home owners to the so called byb breeders and adverts a lot of people here abhor.

you will subject people to 'Spanish inquisition  and war & peace

I treat everyone who makes enquiries regarding myself, my girls or my puppies with the utmost respect as I am fully aware that they are making as much a choice about me as I am about them. My initial emails give lots of detail about myself and I fully explain that I will be asking detailed questions and the reason that I will be asking these questions. I happily volunteer the same level of information that I receive. I always find that good puppy home owners will expect to be asked a great number of questions and will also ask just as many in return (I find the inquisition works both ways).Most people I converse with are just as excited as I am about the breed and freely tell you their life story.  I personally prefer to chat, as general conversation normally covers the key questions that both parties wish to ask, but some people prefer to converse initially via email which I completely understand. Irrelevant of how I communicate, I can assure you that none of my responses are blunt or harsh.

I treat every enquiry I receive as an opportunity to educate potential puppy home owners, irrelevant of their initial communication style and irrelevant of their overall decision about me personally. My breed is currently being devastated by the worst type of BYB and lots of very poorly bred pups are available on pet sites every single day. I only have a very small window of opportunity to  influence therefore all information has to be shared very quickly to try to prevent a BYB lining their pockets and a dog ending up in rescue because the family were completely unsuitable or unprepared for the breed.

If through my "interogation" or "inquisition" just one person changes their perspective or thinks more carefully about their choices then I feel I have achieved something worthwhile.

If you wish to build trust you should act with integrity, so it is important that neither party omits important details that could change the direction of the relationship at a later date. If you wish to build trust you must be prepared to tell people the things that they need to know. I find that sharing this key information at a very early stage of a relationship allows it to flourish more quickly, rather than having the opposite effect.

The way I look at it rabid is..........yes, meet them, I dare say they will have a little weekend away visiting you, and meeting you and the future dam is just a part of the excursion.

We all vet each other breeder and buyer.

I've never contemplated a litter without at least half a ready and waiting list, most will have already met my dam and will have made enquires from breed acquaintances or previous puppy owners, yes they all get the initial vetting re: suitability etc, but I always meet people beforehand, IMO people should always see the adult first, if the reaction is good and interested in seeing the adult, these are the people not swayed by puppy eyes and interested in the dog and the breed.

In meeting prior to mating, you get to know them, them you......... and there are no pups present, far easier to explain that you won't know the numbers, that the breeder and stud dog owner, others in the breed get first options, and then you will do your list with the pups left. If you make that clear, they won't expect to necessarily get a pup, but IMO people making the right noises here, will probably make good owners, you will know more once meeting them.

As an aside, make sure people are there too and your dogs are secure, today you never know???? But hopefully they are genuine and extremely interested.

Good luck.

If people are prepared to travel to meet the parents at this stage, I would be prepared to meet them to discuss. They are showing commitment.

I'm so glad to read that you all are as particular about your puppy buyers as I am.  I have NEVER given a puppy to people I did not feel good about.  In fact, I have, on three or four occasions, changed my mind during the weeks between the initial reservation and the pick-up date, and sent the deposit back with a message telling the people (as diplomatically as possible, yet with no loop holes for discussion) the reason for my decision not to give them a puppy.  It sort of comes over me gradually until I KNOW that I have to do this.  As I say, it has happened very seldom, but I WILL do it if I feel it is essential.  I am very sensitive to the RESPONSE people give me to the photos I send, the timing of their initial visit as well as later ones, I need enthusiasm and the feeling that the puppy is paramount in importance to them.  No luke warm stuff.  I want passion!

Well, the people have replied and have suggested a date to come and visit in November.  I'm guessing it's obvious that the mating might not happen or take, if it happens, and then there may be no pups for them - so I think I'm going to meet with them, and maybe get more info from them when we meet. 

I AM going to do a questionnaire, but will try not to ask for info which might alarm people or for more  details than I need, and I won't send it out yet...

I'm thrilled at Rabid and Goldmali not liking to talk on the phone as I hate it too! :-D

>I need enthusiasm and the feeling that the puppy is paramount in importance to them.  No luke warm stuff.  I want passion!

It's a pity I'm not after one from you as I'm much better at keenness to the point I worry I am stalking the breeder lol. I know when I bought Ellie I was having a lot of trouble toning down my inclination to phone every 2 days to something that was less manic, but didn't give an impression of being lukewarm! Another time though I was very careful, only contacted them once a week and said each time for them to tell me if I was overdoing it, and they never did. Went to pick my puppy and the day after they said that the one they'd decided on had a wrong mouth and they would be keeping my puppy instead, and by the way I had been too eager and had badgered them into letting me pick anyway, which was totally untrue, I had even turned down the offer to take her the day I picked her because I had something on that meant waiting another 2 weeks would be much better. Ah well!

Oh, that's a shame.  It sounds like a lack of honest communication on the part of the breeder.  I can understand a breeder's need to make an  about-face concerning the puppy he/she was planning on keeping for him-herself.  Makes no sense to sell the best one and keep the pup of lesser quality.  But this contingency should have been made clear from the start. It doesn't sound like the breeder in your case was very open or sensitive to your feellings and ultimately to your disappointment.  And then to throw a whole barrel of accusations at you to justify their decision (and ease their feelings of guilt).  That's pretty poor.

It's tricky in any case.  Many feelings on both sides, as well there should be.  A new canine person is entering the family and is, at the same time, leaving the caretaker who has been sweating blood for weeks and weeks, who has done absolutely everything possible to keep that puppy safe and healthy and socialised and for whom that puppy has been of overwhelming importantance. 

A lot depends a great deal on the sensitivity of both buyer and breeder.  I stop dead when the phone rings and the person on the other end asks:  "You sell puppies, right?"  I usually respond (stiffly) with:  "Yes, I do breed ......s".  But even there, sometimes people just don't know how to start and what and how to ask.  So communication is really important, and it sounds like you didn't get a fair chance.

Facebook Replies:

Jules Magee Burton says: Never let someone have a puppy without meeting them! More so if they are abroad where help is harder!!
Let them fly over to meet you xx

Angela Radcliffe says: Email them an application form if they meet pups needs after you read it plan for them to come visit

I got them to complete an online (v in depth!) questionnaire - which they did instantly.  There are a couple of things which concern me in it, but other things which sound great.

But there's enough there to meet them, at least, so that's what we're going to do now.

Application form!! This whole post is one big WOW as well as the "in Depth questionnaire "

Hope the meet goes well rabid. Take your time and casually bring up your concerns with them as it could be easerly sorted.
I allways get nervous when meeting people (also hate talking on the phone, I much prefur email or Facebook) silly I know. But I find taking the dog for a nice walk with them then a sit down with a drink can help calm any nerves.

I had one lovely couple contact me, sent tones of info in there first email along with photos of their home and garden and even offered to send me references from their vet and previous dogs breeders. I was very impressed with them to be honest. Anyway I had a concern as they wanted to get two puppies at the same time which I just don't think is allways a good idea. I explained to them why I felt that and we had a chat about it and i advised at them to leave least 6 months between pups. They didn't mind me saying it and took it on board. They ended up getting a pup of the other breed they liked threw the breeds club sooner so by time My litter was due that pup would have been 6 months.
Unfortunately my girl didn't get preg so I recomend a litter I knew about and they will be picking up their new puppy soon. So happy ending for them.

I have a very popular breed, 1000's of them available ( perhaps not as pretty, successful and as rigorously health screened)...
I NEVER promise a puppy to anyone, I never take a deposit and if anyone doesn't like me assuring myself ..to MY satisfaction...that they are my prefered owner......then they can move long.

Those buyers who feel that a breeders rigorous approach in homing their puppies is 'spoiling their chances of a sale' ...
they are confusing breeders with 'producers'....seldom do we need to 'Sell ourselves'.

I also have a very popular breed tooolz...

The main issue is although they don't have kids at the moment, they said they plan to add kids within 2 years (one of the questions on the questionnaire!).  And I am not keen on young dog + baby combo - in fact, I wouldn't home anywhere with kids under the age of maybe 8+, unless I really knew the home well and that they could cope (ie people who are already successful in competition or experienced homes).

Anyway, it's a bit of a delicate one to bring up with total strangers(!), but I will meet with them now.  Once the pups are born (ha ha, few things to get right before we get there), I can always say there's not a suitable pup for them without giving an explanation.

I think I must be a failed parent. Had a dog and took it to obedience classes. Had kids and they went to classes too, parked up in their carry cot or pushchair depending on age. There was always somebody to coo over them. The dogs were trained to walk at the side of a pram/pushchair and we walked miles together. When my daughter was about twenty and had had her own dog for years I said I was so glad neither of the kids had been allergic to dogs. She immediately responded that she would have got rid of the kid!

I would be tempted to bring up the children/puppies issue now, Rabid, if they are making a special trip to see you, so you're not wasting their time and vice versa. They might be able to reassure you in advance how they plan to deal with it (all theory I know but hey!) or their lack of concern/preparation/dedication might raise more red flags.

Yes many of us had dogs and kids together....BUT we are dog nuts....it's our interest, our hobby ..in some cases our passion.

Not everyone who has a dog shares this feeling...many have one as an 'add on', nice thing to have but could live without it.

These owners are not the same ...so saying that dog breeders, people who work their dogs or obsessed owners can cope with kids AND dogs ...its a given.
Weeding out owners with kids ...who would not ditch the dog for the slightest reason...is hard and why many of us don't take the risk.

> I think I must be a failed parent. Had a dog and took it to obedience classes. Had kids and they went to classes too, parked up in their carry cot or pushchair depending on age. There was always somebody to coo over them. The dogs were trained to walk at the side of a pram/pushchair and we walked miles together.

Me too, two dogs at side of pushchair, dogs soon leaned not to walk in front, but nicely at the side, otherwise their toes got run over.

Arguably the dogs had a much  more interesting and varied life, not to mention more exercise (two school runs, and then country park between, as well as all shopping) than they do now in an all adult household.

From what I see, I think you guys are the exceptions rather than the rule!  (And would also fall into the category of 'experienced owners' where exceptions would be made!!).

And...Members of a dog forum.....quite a niche market I'd say.

Anyway, it's a bit of a delicate one to bring up with total strangers(!), but I will meet with them now.  Once the pups are born (ha ha, few things to get right before we get there), I can always say there's not a suitable pup for them without giving an explanation.

Is this not a case of wasting their time and a bit mean? You asked a question and they answered truthfully so why will you not advise them honestly, sorry no puppy to a family with children under 8 or planning to have babies in the next few years?If you do not know that home well? I'd not on a questionaire fill in that section regarding planning children!? It's becoming more big brother style  If you do not want your puppies to go to a family with children under 8 then don't let them visit or think they have a chance of a puppy.My children grew up with dogs GSD,Labrador's  and a Cocker Spaniel and i feel it has enriched their childhood and they love dogs and wish to bring their family up with a dog too.. They came  with us on holidays, walked with pram back and forth to school four times a day. So many people we pass with children and dogs enjoying walking, throwing the ball and being happy together. It's part of family life  for a lot of people,cats,dogs,horses

Because, if they take the time to come and meet us, we can have a proper chat and explain why puppies and babies often are not a good combo. That will mean that 1) they may listen to us and not just go and get a puppy from someone else instead (as they likely will if we just say no to them) and 2) because they may decide to postpone starting a family for another year or so, to give their dog time to mature and settle down beforehand, once they learn why this is a good idea.  I'm not really prepared to have that conversation by email...

That's why I would still meet with them.

Frankly, if they want to come and meet us when 1) the mating hasn't even happened yet and 2) there may not even be a puppy for them, then I think there is a good chance they could be 'wasting their time' as you put it, whatever our views on puppies and babies are, and if they are prepared still to come, then I think it would be a good idea.  Learning anything about dogs and speaking to breeders of a breed they are interested in can hardly be called 'time wasting', if they are looking for a puppy from anywhere, frankly.

If you know your not happy with their  situation re children and will not be happy to consider them for a puppy I feel it is unfair to get them to meet you. Explaining you reason on the phone or in email is enough.

I understand and respect your choices but other breeders will be happy to sell a puppy if they have considered what's involved and made plans for how the dogs needs are to be met. I have a demanding breed and have sold to young families without problem.  We all have different views on many things, your  opionon  is as valid as mine or anyone else's so would just say no, explain why and let them move on.

But my opinion is not just 'no', it is dependent on what they say in terms of how flexible their plans are to have kids.  Which again, is not something I can talk to a complete stranger about via email.

Rabid surely you are not going to ask a prospective new owner the plans to have children?? Think that's a little OTT

I feel you should have this discussion via email or telephone as I am sure must people will say if and when they gave children is their choice and no one else's business. I would simply state response on questionnaire raises potential for children and that is not acceptable to you. I can't imagine that the conversation will be any more palatable face to face !