I am married with 2 kids 4 & 7yrs old and we have a 9wk old English Cocker Spaniel. He is a perfect little man and we have been very lucky that he slept throu the night from the day we brought him home. But, even though I did a lot of research about the breed i have to admit that I have underestimated how much work is involved whilst also running our household. It's causing major problems with my husband because we are arguing over who gets time off from the chaos. I can't wait for him to come home from work so I can offload the puppy to him so I can have a break but he also wants a break when he comes home from work so obviously there is a conflict. We are practically killing each other. I am also unwell at the moment and am undergoing tests so I have even less energy than normal which is hard. I just wondered if having a new pup does upset the family harmony and is hopefully a temporary hiccup until we get past the puppy phase?

Having a puppy is like having a new baby - lots of hard work !!
Like when you have a baby, try and do your jobs when the pup is asleep.
Do you have a cage or somewhere safe to put pup when you need to leave him ?

bring this poor puppy back to the breeder,he is only 9 weeks old so i guess you have not had him for long and are already fed up with him.
it will be a longtime before he will be the "perfect" dog you want if at all ,so bring him back to his breeder before you cause too much dammage on his character.
poor puppy!!

What you get at the end of the puppy phase depends very much on the effort you put into training during the puppy phase ;-)

Having a puppy is hard work,  partly because they are highly mobile,  but haven't yet been trained and are exploring their world at what seems like 90 miles an hour :-)

Having said that,  puppies are like babies,  they need sleep and if they don't get it,  can be hyper and manic.

What kind of routine do you have for your pup?

Does he sleep for a couple of hours several times a day?

If not,  then this may be something that would make a difference.

At this age,  he should be on at least 4 meals a day.   With my pups,  this would mean -  up at 6 or 7, out to wee/poo,  then play for a bit,  do a bit of training (2 or 3 minutes at a time,  but several times a day -  I stick ITV on the tv and train in the adverts :-) )    then just as pup is tiring,  food is given.   Then poos/wees,  then sleep for a couple of hours -  a pup will sleep longer on a full tum ;-)

Do you have a puppy/dog gate?   We still have one and our youngest is 6.  It's on the kitchen door and is useful for when visitors come.   With a puppy,  it's useful to keep him out of michief when you can't watch him,  and to ensure he does get the sleep he needs.

Really though,  I always got housework done whilst pup was asleep

I won't sell to anyone with children at the age of your 2.  I think (quite sincerely) that it is totally the wrong time for you to have a pup.  And it's already causing friction in your marriage.  The time required for training and socialising your pup is way beyond your means, and it's really not fair to this puppy.  You are required (by law) to provide the right environment for any pet, and you can't stretch yourself that far.  It takes time and dedication to rear a happy, well behaved adult.  You really should enrol in training classes to help you understand the emotional and other needs of your pup.  It's something that you are not going to be able to fit in.  Back to the breeder for her to deal with while this puppy is still very young.  I honestly believe that it's the right decision for you.  :-(

You actually already know the answer really.  These 2 statements are your clue.

>I can't wait for him to come home from work so I can offload the puppy

>We are practically killing each other.

You have to be 100 % committed to a puppy so if you are not certain, then I agree with others it's better to give up now once pup is still young enough to easily go back to breeder find a new home and settle down. But I'd also like to ask exactly WHAT it is that you find is such hard work? There may be ways around it that you haven't considered. 9 week old pups do (should) sleep an awful lot so shouldn't be that much work at home. House training yes, and feeding four times a day, but that's nothing major, the more major work starts once pup is fully vaccinated and can get out and about and you need to start lead training, proper training (ideally at classes) and get out and about and socialise in as many different places as possible.

i have to admit that I have underestimated how much work is involved whilst also running our household.

Yes, he is only 9 weeks and making sure he gets a life himself then the only thing you can do is to let him go back to the breeder so he gets a new start, many people fall into the trap of having no real idea of the demands a dog places on their pre-dog lifestyle & time slots, its time to let him go back to his breeder for re-homing before your family relationships start to deteriorate further.
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Just to underline the answers you have from the others on here - and also to say that if he's a working cocker, 9 weeks is the easy  bit! 

Working cockers are highly active, and need plenty of correct training in the early days - more so, even, than the show strain.    If you are finding he is taking too much time at 9 weeks, please, just bite the bullett and send him back to his breeder, who, if they are worth their salt, will be in a better position to find him a suitable home.

Jo

How often do people not realise quite what having a puppy means!!   Some are easier than others of course, but fact is if you/your family can't manage this puppy (and Cockers are 'lively'!) then take him straight back.  The biggest crime is holding on and maybe ruining the puppy, never mind your marriage.  For sure your husband will be coming home probably as tired at the end of the day, as you are.

If you want to continue with this then I urge you to buy a crate so you have somewhere to put your puppy for a break, and when you can't supervise what he's getting up to.    I have never used one for housetraining (and in truth, we had a purpose built puppy pen for those we kept from our litters), BUT we also had crates, from the time of going over to Canada and seeing them used at shows (next to no benching out there).  They are a huge aid to having a puppy, for the above reason (safety when you have other things to do).   Set it up in your living area covering top and sides but leaving the door open so he starts to use it as any other dog bed.   When you have to do something else, play with him so he's a bit tired, take him outside to empty and bring him back to his crate with a few biscuits and shut the door.  He'll complain when he finds the door shut, at first, but if you've timed it right, he should settle down for a nap.   Puppies sleep a lot during the daytime, so that should give you a break!

The sooner you get the puppy into a routine he recognises, the easier this will get.   And plan on using the crate, in with you, overnight so he doesn't mess or yell when he finds himself alone.  You will need to take him out once overnight for a few weeks (depending on how soon he is able to physically start to hold).

Bottom line, if you are finding this too much, please take him back to his breeder.  There's no shame in making a mistake - but lots in not admitting it.

I take you already know that pups dont do gripewater or baby teething aids, pups preferred teething aids are things like couches, carpets, electric wiring, fingers in fact any product in normal, human, household use are great puppy teething aids as far as a pup is concerned including chewing on hubbys' shoes & socks after he takes them off after work .
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If you want to keep this dog then, yes, it will get better but I think it was around the 6 month mark when mine started to calm down but it was around 2 years when she really matured and settled down. It also depends upon how much work you are prepared to put into it.

I think there are some other questions to ask yourself.
Who will have the dog when you want to go on holiday ? If this isn't arranged and you struggle to find anyone will it cause ructions in the house ?
You say you are unwell, if you need to go into hospital for tests/operation who will have pup as he can't be left too long ?
Do you work or do you intend to go back to work when the kids are older ? If so what happens to pup ?
We're there problems with the marriage before pup arrived,that are coming out under the strain or is this something new to your relationship ?

It isn't worth losing your marriage for a dog. I think the answer depends upon what you as a family want in the long run and what work you are all prepared to put into it.

Simla, I NEVER SAID I WAS FED UP WITH OUR PUP. All I am saying is that when I have spent the day with him and kids routine that it wd be nice if my hubby wd do his bit and take over from me in the evening to give me a break! What's the harm in asking him to do that? I am putting ALOT of effort in this pup as I have already enrolled him in to puppy training class which starts next week. We have wanted him for a long time and I made it clear to my OH how hard it wd be and that he had to be willing to do his bit. He said he wd but now that he's seen how much hard work it is he has backed out of all the promises he made which is making us argue.
I told him he needs to tak time off work to deal with the settling in phase and that he wd have to forget about nights out and hobbies until we get past the hardest part IF he was really serious about the pup. He said he wd do all that but the minute pup arrived he has gone back on everything he said.
This is nothing to do with being fed up. I am fully capable loving and caring for a puppy but we are supposed to be a team because we have children in the mix. So I expect my hubby to play his part.
These posts are very problematic as people are far too quick to look for a way to point the finger. It's understandable that posters can not give full explanation of what goes on in their lives to give a bigger picture for the responders as it wd be the size if a small novel.

Well done for acknowledging that you underestimated the amount of work involved in raising a pup.  You're not the only one - even experienced dog owners can 'forget' just how time consuming (and tiring!) it is to do everything necessary for your puppy to grow into a happy, well adjusted, sociable and well behaved dog.

You're very lucky he sleeps through the night but at 9 weeks the hard work is only just beginning!

You must have more than enough to do with two very young children and I remember from previous posts that you work two days a week and are considering day care for your puppy ...  Many breeders will not part with puppies to homes with very young children for lots of reasons including the experiences you are having.  Your children and family relationships must come first and for owning a dog to work the whole family need to be committed to him and willing to be kind and consistent with all the necessary care and training.  An enormous amount of patience as well as hard work is required!

It sounds as if you know you have made a mistake (we all make them!).  The kindest thing would be to return him to his breeder while he is still very young so that s/he can find a new and more suitable home for the little chap as soon as possible.  This would give him a chance for a new start before any more damage is done and harmony can return to your family.

Good luck with making the right decision and I hope you feel better soon.

Agree with all the above,  I assume you have had pup  for up to 2 wks at the most,  this is the easy part  its going to get much much worse before it gets better, and I dont mean weeks either....... could be months or even longer.

Puppies are hard work,  could you have coped with a new baby and all that baby would require till they are school age,   this is what you have only with 4 legs.......you`ll get through this early stage, them puberty hits,  rebellious teenager   and so on, before you will end up with the dog you want to fit into your home.

If 2 weeks of  this puppies life is destroying your marriage , then I cant see any hope for the future.  for you and the pup.

Send pup back to breeder now while its still young and can be placed in the right home..........we all make mistakes in our lives,  this is one for you at this time in your life.

I have a 13 mth old PWD here,   we got through those early mths , believe me he was a night mare,  we started to see light at the end of the tunnel, and he has now hit that obnoxious teenager stage......I could kill him on most days at the moment...  but then I have the time and patience , and both myself and hubby  are on the same page.

Well behaved dogs don`t make themselves, it takes  time,  and dedication  to make them respectable member sof society, and from what you say I think you probably took on more than you realized .

My dogs are mainly rescues, most I've had since being a puppy & as others have said, having a puppy is like having another baby(if you already have children). All the parents I know have either had their dogs before the children came along, or who have waited until their children have been off at school, before getting a puppy(or any dog TBH). Using words like "offload" makes it sound like you haven't got enough time/energy to have a puppy along with your children & hubby etc.

Personally I would return the puppy to the breeder as you are having problems with a 9 week old puppy, things could get even worse for you.

I never used to believer in crates for dogs, but after been shown how to use them properly, they are a boon & a safe way looking after a puppy when you are not there

Sorry, Dungonnell - meant to add in my previous post a response to your specific question - does 'having a new pup upset the family harmony?'

Well no, it shouldn't upset the harmony.  In my experience it inevitably alters routines and, just like having a new baby, it can seem to turn the house upside down and as we've all said is a long term commitment and can be exhausting for a long time.

The pup itself can't disrupt the harmony but you are describing a lot of conflict and upset between yourself and your husband.  This must be very distressing, especially if you were expecting him to put a lot into raising the puppy and helping you.  It sounds as if these problems need addressing separately, but again, for the sake of the puppy's well being he needs to go back to his breeder for a second chance.  It's not good for poor pup being in the centre of such conflict.

Harsh as it may sound, now may just not be the right time for you to have a dog and you may be much better placed in the future to take one on.  I know how this feels - I went 25 years without a dog.  I was working full time and it just could not be done in a way that would be fair on any dog.  I'm making up for it now, but it broke my heart not be able to have one for so many years.  It was, however, the right decision.

Our pup is crate trained within a pen in the kitchen so if I have to leave the house he is secured in his pen and can go into his crate when likes or come out into the pen for water and toys.

He sleeps throu the night frm 11-6.30am.
He holds his pee until I let him out in the morning and he has his per and poo before coming back indoors for his breakfast.
Very few accidents in the house.
The puppy is NOT the problem it's dealing with the family household as well.
My daughter how was fully toilet trained using the 'big' toilet has, since the puppy arrived, decided to pee herself every time she needs to go. She is not even bothering to try and go to the toilet. I believe it's an attention issue because I am spending a lot of time working with the pup. So, I suddenly have a lot of unexpected cleaning up to do but NOT from the puppy but my own kids. My older 7yr son has also suddenly become very accident prone since the pup arrived and I can't believe it's happening when he wasn't before. Example, he ran through the house to go up stairs and somehow ran straight into the door frame. Something he has never done before. Then 20mins later my daughter did a very similar thing withe the livingroom door. Again this has never happened before. I believe it's a lack of attention as the kids have been fighting a lot more recently as well and it's just making the whole experience a really unpleasant one. On top of that is my hubby who has NO empathy and is very difficult to live with.
I am taking each day as it comes as I am aware it's supposed to get easier. So, l'll start by tackling the messed crate from doing the school run. The pup has pooed all over his bed and pen and at the same time my daughter wet herself. Pup needs a bath now. Bed is changed and in the wash. Daughter changed, back out playing again.

You have possibly taken too much on.Best to return the pup and it can be rehomed.

This sounds like such a stressful situation.

Of course you are right that the puppy in himself is not the problem - he sounds like a dear little chap, bless him.

However, from your posts, it does appear that having the puppy has triggered an awful lot of problems and conflicts for you and your family - not the pup's fault, of course.

Please do consider carefully, given the age of your children and the nature of your relationship with your husband - is this really the right time for you and your family to have a dog?

Forgot to say I work 2 days per week to fund having a dog. For those 2 days puppy will attend doggy daycare where his collected from the house, taken to a play barn and has a fully structured day to socialise with other doggy friends and then returned to the house at the end if the day.

As he is only 9wks old I am taking time off work until his is 14wks old which is the min age to join this facility.

As for holidays, the same facility provides boarding. Which is what we plan to use if we go abroad once per year. Other times he will holiday with us, prob to dog friendly log cabin in the uk.

I have thought of nothing but the welfare of our pup and I only took him on if all of the above applied. Also, my breeder only allowed us to have him if we ticked all of her boxes which we eventually did.
Puppy is now bathed, dried, brushed and now sleeping in the sun.

Jo Flat Coat, what makes you think he is a Working Cocker Spaniel?
I never said which type I have and already u jump to the assumption that he is the Working type!

Also meant to say that pup has his own doggy teddy that he sleeps with and my pj top which I gave to the breeder before we collected him. I use the doggy teddy for a bit of rough and tumble to re inact his play with his brother/sisters as he loves that. It's also handy when he is biting I can give him ted and he'll throw him about and have a good chew! I have other nyla bones and a rubber bouncing ring that he chews as well as my slippers, curtains and anything within his reach!

Have you returned a puppy previously - your screen name is similar to someone who previously returned a pup - apologies if this wasn't you

Even a show type cocker puppy is a lot of work. I appreciate you are doing your level best and a lot of these problems will go away in time - the question is whether you're willing to put up with the husband who has gone back on his promises or whether you're going to have to put your foot down. As far as I can see you can (a) do all the work all the time with kids and puppy and keep the husband happy, (b) insist the husband keeps his promise to help out and have constant arguments, or (c) give the puppy back to the breeder and think about perhaps an older dog in a few years time.

>As far as I can see you can (a) do all the work all the time with kids and puppy and keep the husband happy, (b) insist the husband keeps his promise to help out and have constant arguments, or (c) give the puppy back to the breeder and think about perhaps an older dog in a few years time.

Lucydogs seems to have summed up your three options very succinctly.

He sleeps throu the night frm 11-6.30am.
He holds his pee until I let him out in the morning and he has his per and poo before coming back indoors for his breakfast.
Very few accidents in the house.

Wow! Most people with pups would be jumping up and down with glee, this is very rare for a 9 week old pup, you are very lucky, your toilet training is going really, really well, so not all bad. :-) In fact fantastic!

Things will calm down, you've planned for this pup and I'm really pleased that you have all the daycare etc sorted for pup when ready, you haven't just jumped in here, you have puppy training classes booked etc, well done, I can see that you really want this pup.

I'm also not a breeder who would let a pup go to a home with under 7's, unless I was really impressed by someone, as it is very hard with young children and a young pup who needs so much attention too, but you have him, the deed is done and you are not throwing in the towel, I sense a maternal instinct towards the pup from you, which is great, phew! You're biggest hurdle is..... I guess you thought hubby would be as on board as you? Tbh, you're just a bit panicked here. It's early days....... :-)

Firstly, I do understand hubby, he's been out at work all day, and he wants to retreat to his cave and relax for a while, with young children working or not you have to give them attention, your hubby does not have that same maternal bond with your pup yet and I would not push it at this stage and cause arguments, why can the pup not be put in his playpen to sleep when hubby is due home? That way it is just you and the children all focusing on each other, getting the children ready for bed and spending time talking to hubby about his day and you yours.........

The pup can come out of the pen a couple of hours later for cuddles, play and toileting etc, you can talk to him and stroke him if he does not sleep, but hopefully he will, most pups do have a nap. :-)

When the house is quiet and the children are in bed, and some unwind time has been had, then you may get your wish and your hubby may be ready to spend some time with the pup.

Put the pup in his pen whilst you do housework, and whilst spending quality time with the children, it can't be helped when a pup comes into an environment with young children, he may have to have slightly more containment time, to protect him and your children, integrate with constant supervision as pups play by biting, chewing, tugging, scratching and racing around.

Pups grow up fast, the more you put in the more you get out.....along with his classes and training sessions, play and socialising, make sure he gets a calm atmosphere, that will have to come down to you, use containment, so that your family can function normally without stress, and everyone gets their one on one from you, you will be overstretched having so many people needing your attention, but you'll just have to knuckle down and over-stretch for a while, until pup grows into an adult dog, or hubby suddenly bonds with the pup and wants to spend his time with him, remember not to force it. ;-)

Just, take a step back, take a deep breath and try to stay calm and focussed, before you know it, you will have a routine, the pup will know his and the children theirs...... along with hubby. :-D 

You sound dedicated, so I know you'll get there. :-)

You sound like an exemplary puppy owner. You have done and are doing everything right. If it's not too patronising to say: well done, huge pat on the back. If only there were more like you.

What you actually need is to rehome your husband. He, after all, is the problem, not the puppy. I guess that's one for you to ponder privately.

If you decide to keep him though, I suggest you try and put aside your anger towards him and talk to him calmly about it all. Explain to him, for one thing, that this is an intensive stage which will get better and doesn't last long, and that it will all get easier once the household settles down. And that in order to get the positives out of the new puppy, he needs to engage with it, buy into it, above all invest in it.

Final thing (continuing that theme): it sounds as though you are in charge of everything; give your husband some ownership of the dog if you want him to invest in it. Let him make some rules. Give him complete responsibility for some dog care things.

Good luck but don't worry, you're doing great and it will all work out fine.

Sometimes we have to accept the timing is just not right.

However much you wanted and have planned for this puppy you now have to be very honest with yourself and ask the question...

Is the whole family ready for the puppy?

Only you can truthfully answer that, but consider that Cockers are very sensitive souls and will be picking up on all of the "emotion" within your household.

I don't think the OP should get upset when a forum of experienced DOG owners fail to make the grade as family therapists!
This is about family dynamics, few of us would profess to be experts in THIS field.

Thanks Carrington.
Tbh I am panicked by it all. Although I have done a lot of research there are things that are an unknown to me and I worry about it. For example, when I contain the pup in his pen (usually only when I leave the house) he becomes anxious and poo's in the pen. I'm wondering if this will eventually pass or is the containment not ideal for a Show Type Cocker Spaniel. I tend to panic when I'm away, worrying about what is going on.
I also, thought that like a child, routine is important to a pup so I felt that if I leave him at home for the morn school run and walk him once I get back then hopefully he will learn when to expect his walk? It's hard because if it's a nice morn I'd prefer to walk him to the school but I don't want to cause confusion.

>What you actually need is to rehome your husband. He, after all, is the problem, not the puppy. I guess that's one for you to ponder privately.

Just what I was thinking. Plus put the kids up for adoption!

Toolz, the reason I got upset is that initially I was being told I was fed up with the puppy which was not true. Also, I knew when I used the word 'offload' in one of my posts I wondered how long it would take someone to spin that into something it is not.
It's people like you who should not be offering advice if it's only to gloat, point the finger, and actually add absolutely nothing positive to the discussion.
There are better responders on here who know how to help positively which is what it should be. You know, dog experts talk about positive reinforcement being the way to discipline and I guess in your world that doesn't apply to humans. We all make mistakes. Does that mean I should be scolded for being a bad person or should I be given positive reassurance as how to deal with the mistake.

Love it!!!  @Smithy

>There are better responders on here who know how to help positively which is what it should be.

I'm sure there are...fill your boots!

My hubby is working from home today and has just informed me that he is falling behind with his work which means he really needs me in the office! If you haven't worked it out yet. We work together. I am his only other member of staff. I can't believe he is saying this after I asked him before we got the pup if working 2 days wd be ok and he was adamant it wd be.
I don't think it's going to work out. He keeps moving the goal posts after everything I checked with him before we agreed to go ahead with pup. It's all too much!
I'll contact the breeder. But first I have to explain it to my son.

Toolz, the reason I got upset is that initially I was being told I was fed up with the puppy which was not true.

Your topic is entitled "New puppy is destroying my marriage!" so I don't think it is all that odd if people thought you were blaming the pup.

> so I don't think it is all that odd if people thought you were blaming the pup

I think that the main fact is that the OP is obviously under a lot of stress coping with this. Unfortunately she has, in the main, only been met with criticism and derision which won't help her make any rational decisions nor help her mental state. Why oh why do some posters on here think that dogs are the ONLY thing that matters ? What about compassion for another human being ?? This board often reminds me of the witches from Macbeth :) :) :)

Perhaps because this is a DOG forum?

> Perhaps because this is a DOG forum

So that excludes 'dog' people from having compassion for humans ?? It certainly seems that way :(

Why oh why do some posters on here think that dogs are the ONLY thing that matters ? What about compassion for another human being ??

Go and look at my original reply and you will see that I was trying to be helpful.

> I don't think it's going to work out. He keeps moving the goal posts after everything I checked with him before we agreed to go ahead with pup. It's all too much!

I'll contact the breeder. But first I have to explain it to my son.

So sorry you are going through this but also, good on you for thinking of the pup's needs and not doing what a lot of owners do, which is continuing despite the problems, crating the pup more and more (or as my neighbours now do, shutting the dogs in the garden 9am to 9pm so they don't have to deal with them), or that sort of thing.

It is hard at this stage and it's not the only hard stage - you could get through puppyhood and he'll hit the teenage months and wham! back to square one!  My youngest is 15 months and she has been massively hard work - and I work from home, with no kids and no OH to deal with, only my other dogs.  I have nothing but admiration for how you've coped so far!

It sounds to me like either your husband didn't realy want the pup and was just going along with it or maby as he owns his own business and is now saying he has fallen behind and needs u in could it be the business is going threw a rough patch and he doesn't want to tell you causing him more stress which could be why he now doesn't want to work with the pup due to worrieing about the business. Do u know if all is well with the business.

On the kids frount have you got them involved in the puppy like them helping to feed or rain some tricks? That may make them feel less like they need to compete with the pup for your attention.

Really u need to have a sit down with him away from puppy and kids and talk about what is going on and what both of u feel is best and see if you can work it out befor returning the pup. You could come to a compromise that would work for both of you and the pup. But as others have said it may just be that the timing is not right for a pup right now as it sounds like you put alot of thought into it and found a good one.

>I am aware it's supposed to get easier.

I'd not really expect it to get easier (just different) for TWO YEARS.

Dungonnell - you are really up against it with the 'goal posts' moving so much and your husband's approach to the puppy being so variable and so different from what you had expected/hoped.

Sounds like you are BOTH really stressed and with business requirements changing so rapidly it will be very hard for you to establish the required routine for your pup.

It must be very distressing for all concerned that it is turning out like this.

Contacting the breeder does sound like a good idea, however difficult.

Good Luck.

I don't think it's going to work out. He keeps moving the goal posts after everything I checked with him before we agreed to go ahead with pup. It's all too much!
I'll contact the breeder. But first I have to explain it to my son.

I think you have made the right decision, if things don't go right with any dog then the dog can be a nightmare to live with & destroy the quality of life of everyone involved with as well as its own.
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> Go and look at my original reply and you will see that I was trying to be helpful. .

I agree - sorry I picked your post to vent my spleen on :) :)

OP, I sympathise! A new pup is like going through the potty training phase with a kid, for a while it is a relentless routine of trying to keep all the plates in the air!

I've had puppies whilst having small kids, but I don't work and have 40+ years of dog experience, so hats off to you that you are doing this whilst working too.

This is a wonderful forum, with incredible amounts of knowledge and advice available. We are all passionate about dogs though and tend to put them first, when we first hear from someone we don't know.

You can get a lot of advice about dealing with your pup here, but you might like to also have a look on the dog section of Mumsnet, where they will be very supportive of anyone with a husband who is not pulling his weight!!

My one piece of advice is to shut pup in his crate after he's been in the garden after meals. He will crash out and you'll get a rest. In my experience, over tired children OR puppies, are not at their best.... ;-)

>I'll contact the breeder. But first I have to explain it to my son.

I'm afraid it's sounding like that's the best option, not only is your husband not helping as agreed (whether or not he realised how much was involved) but if for the sake of your joint business he is needing you back at work... :-( Perhaps your husband should explain it to your son! But you do sound like someone who would be a great dog owner, just perhaps in a few years time when the kids are perhaps old enough to help and take some responsibility too. Good luck whatever you decide!

Hello all.
My husband and I are reluctantly going to return pup to the breeder. It's do hard as I have bonded with him and love him. But, it's not worth it if my hubby and I are constantly at loggerheads. I know some people may suggest trying again once the kids grow up but I can't go throu this again.

My daughter is still having toilet accidents ever since pup arrived and it has to be lack of attention as she loves the pup. I just feel pulled in all directions and I can only do so much.

I tried again last night to get throu to hubby that if he wants pup to stay then he has to be willing to do his bit as I feel it's only fair. But he admits that he can't and just said he could because he wanted me to have the pup.

So, my little bundle of fun will go home. But it will be so hard.

I commend all of those who can have a puppy and young family at the same time. I wish I was in your shoes!

Finally, to the dog forum posters who only want to talk 'dog', I get that! It's just I suppose in my mind if you have a dog he/she becomes part of the human family. Originally I was really asking if it was normal for the family to fall into chaos when a puppy arrives and if it is to be expected as a phase? Only dog owners could answer that and it is why I posted here.

>I was really asking if it was normal for the family to fall into chaos when a puppy arrives and if it is to be expected as a phase?

I'd say not, but then I always expected the dog/s to be my sole responsibility, and to be similar work level to having another child, first husband wasn't a lot of use with child or dog, second hubby came along when I had 5 dogs and kids 17 - 21.

I split with first hubby when pregnant with second child and, had a pup again when second child was a toddler and older one pre school.

My husband is quite supportive (drives me to shows) and he loves helping with puppy births, but I am happy for any help, but expect the dogs to be my thing.  I feed, walk, plan etc.