Hi all I'm new to the forum but thought you might be able to help.

I have a 3 1/2 yo entire black lab I've had him since a pup and he is the ideal dog he is obedient, good with my little boy, clean indoors etc. There is just one thing that I have been increasingly aware of. He just doesn't seem to be all that interested in being part of the family. He comes everywhere with me and is very rarely left alone for more than a few hours.

I've recently been in hospital and he has been staying with my uncle and now he won't even come to say hello when I go and see him. I think this is down to me being quite strict with him i.e. he's not allowed upstairs, to beg or be fed off plates while we are eating. My uncle lets him get away with blue murder! He sleeps on his bed and is constantly being fed tit bits off his plate and my dog seems to know that he is a bit of a push over. I don't want to make him unhappy but I also don't want him to become a bolshy little git! He has knocked my son over a couple of times recently which he would have always been careful to avoid in the past. I just don't know what to do for the best?

He'll settle back into routine soon enough, :-)

I don't allow dogs upstairs either and none ever beg for human food whilst sitting down or at the table, I wouldn't say that is being strict, :-) we all live differently with our dogs and they fit in with what we teach them. Most of our lifestyles need dogs to have rules and follow commands. he is the ideal dog he is obedient, good with my little boy, clean indoors etc. Sounds like you have done a good job. :-)

Your Uncle's given him a different routine, and he may well be missing him, but if he does cosy up more to your uncle you can bet it is food orientated, dogs know a soft touch as you've already observed. :-D  I wouldn't take it as any reflection of him being unhappy with you.

If it's any consolation I know one of my friends had a similar problem when they put their dog in kennels, (definitely, not the life of riley yours got) you'd think he would have been hysterically happy to be home, but they also had a similar reaction, it can with some dogs just takes a few days to settle back into routine again, don't put too many human emotions into what you may think a dog is feeling, he's probably just not sure what is going on.

Just give him a little more TLC and some fussing, this time next week all should be back to normal. :-)

Hi thanks for the reply I'm sure he will settle back in soon enough it's just he is stuck at my uncles for the time being as I have broken my leg and have got scaffolding on the outside of my leg which I am fearfull of him knocking it! I suppose I'm a bit down in myself and feeling a bit useless :(

I've always had females before and even before I had the accident I've said many times it wouldn't matter where I took him as long as he was fed and had a bed to sleep in he wouldn't bat an eyelid at being separated from me even if it was a perminant scenario. Maybe he's just a laid back happy go lucky personality nothing really bothers him which is good in many respects but sometimes I'd just like a bit of affection!

Ahhh..... so you're not home yet?

The good thing is that your Uncle is loving your dog, he's definitely spoiling him but I guess he is somewhere where he is happy.

I probably would be asking my Uncle not to feed the dog tit bits from his plate as it will make it much harder for him to accept this does not happen at home, also human food unless he is offering him meats really is bad for dogs and Labs put weight on really fast if fed the wrong food, maybe you could put it to him that way.

Sleeping in his bed, I guess won't affect your dog too much when back home as he will know he does not go upstairs there, so I guess he can get away with that.

Dogs fit into new routines well, they are very adaptable, and this is also probably why he is not the same dog as he is at home.  But it will change back, he'll once again be the careful dog around your son.

My brother gets....... not upset... but miffed whenever I look after his GSD's as they are totally my dogs when they stay with me and they will always sit near me, and come to me first. My girl is the same whenever we are back from holiday and go to collect her from one of my family members she sometimes doesn't even notice I've come in, I want her to bound over to me saying, mum you're here! :-D

But, everything gets back to normal, she's snuggled up to me on the sofa looking content again once home, dogs are loyal when they are with us but..... maybe not quite as much as we like to think. :-D

> now he won't even come to say hello when I go and see him

You smell funny!  Truly. I'm not kidding.  Your 'scaffolding', wounds etc will have quite a strong odour that he won't associate with you.  That, coupled with your anxiety about being knocked will be enough to keep him away from you.

Dogs rarely forget so rest assured that when you are ready to have him back home he'll probably settle back into your routines very quickly.  I have a dog that has often spent time with my parents in law - they lavish attention on him and he's treated like a grandson!  He soon adjusts when he gets back and he seems to know the difference between our house rules and those that he follows at their house

Best wishes for your recovery x

As dogs a babe says, you smell odd :-)  And a totally different routine, away from his mum, will have unsettled him.  I remember leaving Remy in kennels once without Opi (who he grew up with, both from pups) because I couldn't get her booster done in time so took her with me to visit family, and when I got back he was totally unresponsive to me.  It was purely because she wasn't there, and he'd sunk into a bit of depression from missing her.

Just look at it that he is being spoilt by a family member who is loving him and caring for him.
Yes, it wouldn't be great if they were caring for him long term but it wont do him any damage.
Of course he is giving you the cold shoulder . . . . . you deserted him, smell funny and now you are nasty mummy who wont let him go upstairs or treat him with titbits.
My dogs (and child) are exactly the same when they've spent time with nanny and granddad!
Don't worry, it wont last long :-)