Hi Jayp, she's isn't KC registered I don't think. She's microchipped, all up to date with jabs and immunisations, and up to date with flea and worm treatments. She's 11 years old, turning 12 in December. We got her from Bath Cats and Dogs Home 9 years ago, the reason for her being in there is her previous owner also owned her mother and she fought with her.

She's a lovely, healthy and well behaved little girl. She's never had much in the way of training but knows some basic commands like sit, wait, bed etc (but being a terrier, she also knows how to ignore these commands too). She loves people and is very friendly, she gets very excited when visitors come. She likes children too, but obviously not babies. She has spent a fair amount of time with toddlers, but if rehoming I think it would be best if she went somewhere with no children or older children (7+).

She needs to be an only pet. Small furries are an absolute no, she has lived with cats before but I think it would be tricky to rehome her with cats now, and she's not good with other dogs. She used to be left at home all day and was absolutely fine. More recently I've worked from home so we haven't had to, but when we do need to leave her for a longer time she is fine.

She's currently getting 2-3 walks a day, but it used to be just 1 good one a day which was fine for her. She needs to be on a lead most of the time, but she can be let off-lead on fields where no other dogs are present.

Is this the kind of info you need? Let me know if you need anything specific?

Thank you yes, thats perfect....   did you try Parsons russell rescue ?

Yes I'm in touch with Parsons Russell Welfare and also Terrier Rescue. PRW can't officially take her on as she's not KC registered, but they are passing her details on to a few people. TR sound good but want to be the sole rehomers and wouldn't want us to privately rehome her. As we've reached out to so many people I don't want to commit to TR and then a few days later be in an awkward position if someone else shows interest. If we have no joy though, I think we'll turn to TR.

One thing I didn't appreciate is that all these rescues are full and have waiting lists. The system is absolutely teeming with dogs in need. This makes me sad and also concerned about choosing the right rescue to help us.

perceverance, you are right to be concerned about how full the rescue system is.

I do feel for you and believe you are trying almost everything you know, but the fact is that I don't think the prognosis is good for a dog with dog-aggression issues who is also unpredictable enough around babies/young children that a previous home wanted to rehome her.  (That is going to suggest possible aggression towards children.)  Plus she is an old dog, much less easily rehome-able than a young dog - people see old dogs as coming potentially with health problems.  She may well end up spending the rest of her life in rescue kennels.  If I were looking around rescues, that's a package I'd avoid - and I'm an experienced dog trainer without any children.

New babies are probably the number 1 reason why dogs are rehomed.  The sad fact is that the dog was there first, and people would never 'rehome' their child.  That's not to pass judgement on you or to make you feel guilty, but those are the facts.

Perceverance, just to add to my previous post, I have to say I am very much a believer in that a dog is for life so agree with rabid on that point unless a dog became  aggressive and a danger in which case I would have it pts.

Your dog due to her prey drive is totally intrigued by your baby, due to that as I've already said I would segregate, for the baby but mostly for your partners peace of mind. The idea of taking your dog to work for now with you is a fantastic idea :-) :-) :-) one which many don't have the advantage of, use it......... it is a great idea.

Just to put things into perspective.....whether my dog had a high prey drive or not I would still not take the chance of any dog being alone with a baby so what you have here is not really any different to how many of us would be behaving i.e dog behind dog gate and never leaving them alone.

A high prey drive does not necessarily mean that your dog will attack or bite your baby, she probably and hopefully won't, just be intrigued and wish to constantly watch and be close, (which is un-nerving to a protective mother I would be the same) a cry or high pitched squeal could incite a bite though, which is why most of us would be extremely vigilant around any dog, dogs are animals with inbuilt instincts and should never be confused in having human thoughts and feelings or thought of as ever being 100% trustworth, you just never know even those of us with soft teddy bear's of dogs. :-)

So you're not having to do anything too different to the rest of us, apart from having to watch her intrigue. It's just a change in routine and vigilance to what you have been used to, which we ALL should do when there is a baby or toddler around.

You can't believe how fast time goes by, taking her to work and segregation for now will work just fine. :-) Once your baby is bigger you can slowly introduce and vigilantly watch, she's not going to attack your toddler, (unless it is a trait you have seen before) I certainly would not be panicking and re-homing her right now, just give it a little time.

As long as you are careful as we all are whether we have a JR, Poodle or Great Dane, they will grow into each other.

Unless, you know something that we don't and you have seen her being aggressive to children, toddlers (in which case I would pts rather than pass on the problem) I wouldn't rush into something like re-homing, it will be hard to home her and in many ways unfair.

Just take a deep breathe, and accept segregation for now.

I have the softest of dogs with a bomb proof nature, and most of my families dogs (who are often in my home) are just the same, all different breeds and all grown up around children, but whenever I have babies, toddlers and young children in my home I still segregate dogs behind a dog gate, it's what sensible owners do, it works just fine, it will work for you too.

They will bond over time and that is all that is needed, just always be sensible. :-)

Another excellent post Carrington, and Rabid's too. This little dog will be fine with the child eventually-- she deserves to stay in her home. Rescues are all indeed overflowing-- who would want to add to that problem?

How big a room are you using the DAP diffuser in? Do remember that the bigger the room is the less concentrated the effect is. The collars are great, my boy reacted very well to them and just started to interpret everything far more positively.

I have a dog with other anxiety and stress issues but I know that a lot of his anxiety travels "down the lead" from me when I allow myself to get anxious about what I imagine he might do. You and your partner have been given reasons to feel twitchy by her first behaviours, she knows you feel uncomfortable when the baby starts crying and will be more interested and anxious because of it so reacts more, you get more stressed by her mounting negative behaviour and so on. Think about the behaviours you are giving out- your dog will perceive a lot about your body that you don't even think about, increased pulse, higher rate of breathing, watching her more. It isn't easy but trying to master yourself and your own anxiety might help calm her down. I found that using the DAP products, treating positive behaviour and trying to manage my own anxiety (breathing techniques, distracting myself etc) helped. All is not perfect but much improved!

I think taking her out to your office is a good idea. She gets peaceful time with you that way and her exposure to the baby will be shorter and so hopefully you can keep their brief encounters really positive so she starts seeing the baby as a lovely thing.

It also sounds like your partner needs to rebuild her relationship with the dog, your partner is going to naturally be very anxious about the baby if she sees the dog as a threat. Maybe to give your partner a bit of peace from the baby and give her and the dog one to one time she could go for a walk with the dog by themselves when you get back from work in addition to the family outings? Half an hours quiet wander, some basic obedience and reward can help your partners trust again in the dog, gives the dog some attention and gives mum some breathing space and fresh air.

> Just to put things into perspective.....whether my dog had a high prey drive or not I would still not take the chance of any dog being alone with a baby so what you have here is not really any different to how many of us would be behaving i.e dog behind dog gate and never leaving them alone.

This is exactly my situation Carrington, I have 5 dogs ranging from 6kg to 35 kg and I don't believe any of them would hurt my kids.  However, I'm careful to not put them in a position where they could make that mistake. 

I always have my fence across the living room, the pugs are allowed in if my nearly 3 year old boy is being calm around them otherwise they go out.  If my little boy is in bed anyone can come in when I am holding baby as long as they are calm and lie down, sometimes they come over to give baby a sniff but they don't find him that interesting.  If we have people over or the postie knocks at the door I put everyone behind the fence.  Having kids gives you all sorts of new routines and this is just one of them.  Incidentally, I have this routine for my dogs too when I go out and at night as I don't think it's fair to leave the big with the small unsupervised. The pugs are in the laundry separated from the Doberman in the kitchen by a babygate, Chows are in the living room one either side of the fence.

I looked at the video and the dog wasn't as stressed as I expected, my Chow gets much worse than that every time it's windy.  Is there any high value treat you could give to distract her, a bone or a kong stuffed with treats.  Just something that is time consuming for her to chew?

I thought I should post a quick update. Today our girl has been rehomed. We managed to find a couple who could take her on and give her a loving home for the rest of her life, who have no children or prospect of children in the future. It's really sad for us, but I know she'll adapt in no time and be happy in her new home.

To those who commented in the last couple of weeks, sorry I didn't reply but as this development was in the works I didn't want to say anything until we knew what was happening. For what it's worth, my preference was always to keep the dog, but my partner really has struggled with this and I have to put her and my family first. As we've rehomed the dog directly, we didn't even need to have a conversation about whether using a rescue was fair on the dog or the right thing to do (thankfully, as we probably would have clashed on that).

I've said goodbye to pets before when they've reached the end of their lives, and it's hard. But letting go of our dog when she has so much life left in her was one of the hardest things I've done in my life.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread. The range of views on here genuinely has helped me to balance out the best way forward for us, and for that I'm truly grateful.

I'm glad you have found such a good home for your dog, after all you have through it must be something of a relief through the sadness. Don't berate yourself in any way, you have done the right thing as your family and particularly your baby, must come first. There will be other furry friends in the future when the time is right. Think fondly of your girl and remember the good times, it's sad she wasn't able to cope with the arrival of your baby, but it sounds as if she has gone to safe hands.

H im so pleased both for you and your dog , I really really wish you all the best. You have been fantastic in finding your dog a super home where she will have a happy life....so well done, I know you must be gutted and will miss her so much.  You have done the best thing for her and thats a totally unselfish act.....im very impressed
 

Doing what's right for the dog is so often the very hardest thing for us. A very hard decision but really pleased that you managed to make the decision that is right for you all and that you found the right home for her putting everyone else's needs before your own.