why do some people continually repeat your name when having a discussion? eg yes Susan nice to see you again Susan, I will give you a ring later Susan.
I rarely use the other persons name when talking (and not just because my memory is getting so bad that I can't remember it). I have just got off the phone to a customer and it seems like every other word was my name. I don't know why but I find it slightly odd.

I've come across that before and I agree, it's very odd; and slightly creepy somehow. It's a bit like being verbally stalked.

Yes I hate it too!  When they do it on the Today programme it's usually because they've got something to hide!!  But I also really hate people who try to finish your sentences for you - to the point that they mutter what you are saying.  So I tend to completely change the end of the sentence to catch them unawares!  It doesn't stop them - but it makes them annoy me a bit less.

I always though the folk who do that have been coached somehow, it comes across as terribly un natural to me and very off putting, it actually makes me distrust the person.

:-D :-D I have a friend who does that but worse she speaks loudly and I too hate it especially if we are having lunch or a coffee and every other sentence she uses my name, I'm embarrassed that everyone in the place knows my name too, I wouldn't mind if I were advertising something but I can visibly feel myself sinking into my chair. :-D

I often think people do it to make sure you are still listening to them and professionally it is to show you are important to them, but I agree I can't stand it either, once is enough I know my name. :-D

I'm the opposite -I never use people's names except for my kids. I don't think I have ever called my own husband by his name (as in TO him), even once!

if its the first time you have met, if you say the persons name 3 times in a row when talking to them for the first time you will remember their name!
other than that i have no idea!
just be thankful you don't get called every other name!. from Lorraine to Sandra!
lea aka Leanne!

>professionally it is to show you are important to them

I was told that years ago when on a training course.

> I often think people do it to make sure you are still listening to them and professionally it is to show you are important to them

I think I sometimes use a person's name at the end of a phone call/conversation ie 'Thanks, Susan, I'll let you know' and I'll use my husband's name to get his attention when he isn't listening to me ! :) :) :) :) A name is always useful, when in a room with several people, to direct the conversation towards a particular person :)

> I often think people do it to make sure you are still listening to them

I think it is the opposite and see it as a polite indication that they are considering me as an individual.
It is certainly a curtesy I offer my patients to indicate I know who I am talking to :)

In every sentence?

(And I hope you call them Mr XX or Mrs YY, and not by their first names unless they've asked you to. :-) )

> In every sentence?

That would be overdoing it :) :) :)

> And I hope you call them Mr XX or Mrs YY, and not by their first names unless they've asked you to

I don't mind - people have called me all sorts of things ;) ;)

Me too - I use a name to start a conversation (if I can remember it! :-D ) but it does seem odd if people constantly name you!

I often think people do it to make sure you are still listening to them

Stooge - I think it is the opposite

I guess there are many reasons why people do it, and professionally I agree it is trained as being polite to that person. :-)

If you think back though the excessive overuse of someone's name reverts back to childhood. It's something we do with young children we constantly use their name to keep their attention and focus on us and to get our words across, you also see it a lot when some talk to old people or the mentally disadvantaged too reverting back to that childlike communication again, which I guess is often needed and acceptable.

Perhaps that is why many of us feel annoyed by it, as it is a tool used for the less capable, needed to keep ones attention on them as an adult it can feel patronizing.

I know myself I use people's names being polite in business or included in a hello or goodbye, but it is the excessive use at almost every sentence that some continue to do, I know my friend drives me craaaaaazy.

> And I hope you call them Mr XX or Mrs YY, and not by their first names unless they've asked you to.

Working mostly in an Early Pregnancy Unit my patients tend to be young and I have not had one yet that preferred a title :) but, yes, I do ask, and their preference is recorded on our documentation.
No, I would not use their name every sentence but certainly during every interaction.

I use people's names when I talk to them, but from the reactions on here I think I'd better try and get out of the habit!

Oh no CB don't do that! It's fine in it's own context and it's friendly, :-)

If you know you constantly use someone's name over and over..... I'm talking two or three times in one paragraph certainly reign it in, but most of us don't do that at all. :-)

The person who is continually using your name when speaking to you is informing you that they are superior to you for example employer to servant.  I have worked with people like that and just reply politely that I know my own name so you don't have to keep reminding me.
My parents who were sticklers on social etiquette always introduced themselves as Mr and Mrs and then their surname.   No one was allowed to call them by their first names unless invited to do so.  So a family who became very friendly with them for over 50 years used to call them just Mr and Mrs as though that was their first names and they accepted the joke and loved them for it.  So when my parents died where you have flowers saying mum and dad etc the friends did Mr and Mrs.

>I use people's names when I talk to them, but from the reactions on here I think I'd better try and get out of the habit!

You're misunderstanding. :-) Saying "Hello Mike, how are you?" when you meet them (or "Good morning Mr Jones!" with a smile when a client arrives for an appointment) is friendly and good manners. Following it up with "Pleased to hear that, Mike. What have you been doing with yourself since I last saw you, Mike? Not getting into too much mischief I hope, Mike!" would be OTT and creepy!

> The person who is continually using your name when speaking to you is informing you that they are superior to you for example employer to servant.

Dear me, I'm sure I would never have read anything so negative into it! :) It is Newyork's friend who is doing this so doubt very much this will be the reason. 
Personally, I would say it is just a quirk, a habit and one of those things that we just learn to overlook in someone we are fond of.

Jeangenie, well put.
Stooge, if it's a friend just tell them to stop it.  At least with a friend it's easier.  We shouldn't have to overlook it even if we are fond of them.

Jeangenie....I'm going to check myself, just in case :-)

> My parents who were sticklers on social etiquette always introduced themselves as Mr and Mrs and then their surname.   No one was allowed to call them by >their first names unless invited to do so

That was very much the norm when I was a child/teenager :) :) When I first went to work, I found it very strange calling other adults in the office by their first names - I had never done that before (this was in 1973). All adults were either Uncle ...... or Auntie .... or Mr ... or Mrs ...... My mother had lived in the same house since she was 2 and still called the next door neighbour Mrs ........ although she had known her most of her life :) :)

at work we have customers call my boss Mr ..., but always call me by my first name.
where as most of our customers we call Mr or mrs. even ones we have known and seen every fortnight for 15 years!
i feel uncomfortable calling them by their first name!
and the customers range from 20.s to late 90.s!
lea :-) who is mid 30.s!

Name stalking, lol! I don't like it, it makes me feel like I'm a customer. I use people's name once or twice in a sentence.

When I worked in a call center for a bank I was told I had to call the customer by name at least every 30 seconds.  It felt very unnatural to do it but I would be given a 'red mark' for the call if I didn't. A certain number of red marks a month resulted in disciplinary action and loss of sales bonus.  Of course any other deviation from the very many unnatural ways of talking to a customer also resulted in red marks. 

That's why they have those recorded messages saying the call will be recorded for training purposes, they listen to you constantly so they can pick up every tiny slip up you make and reduce your bonus accordingly.

I strongly object to someone I don't know using my first name constantly. In fact I put the phone down if its a call centre. If it is someone I have met face to face I just smile politely and tell them I am busy and walk off.

Funnily enough my step mother was telling me yesterday that she raged at a call centre operative who called her by her first name as she hadn't given him permission to use it. She didn't let him get a word in edgeways before slamming the phone down (ex school teacher ;-) )

>> The person who is continually using your name when speaking to you is informing you that they are superior to you for example employer to servant.
> Dear me, I'm sure I would never have read anything so negative into it! :-) It is Newyork's friend who is doing this so doubt very much this will be the reason. 

Actually it was a grooming client, not a friend and that is very much how it felt. If She hadn't been a customer then I would have just hung up.

> If She hadn't been a customer then I would have just hung up.

Perhaps she had got it right then ;) 
Seriously, isn't this a little bit precious?  We all have our quirks and I wouldn't give this one a second thought myself.

>We all have our quirks and I wouldn't give this one a second thought myself.

It's no more precious than finding casual blasphemy offensive. :-) The people who aren't bothered don't understand the problem, whereas other people are genuinely distressed.

> It's no more precious than finding casual blasphemy offensive.

You think it offends someones beliefs?  I'm struggling to see it.
  Distressed?  By what?  We don't even know why individuals do it.  Some on this thread think it is someone sort of superiorty thing and others that we are trained to do it to show the opposite.  Add to that my next door neighbours son who suffers from Autism who often repeats my name, admittedly, always Mrs A :) and you can see why it goes over my head. :)

The belief that informality is a privilege, not something to be assumed, perhaps? Over-repetition of someone's name in conversation is the mental equivalent of standing too close and invading physical space.

I totally agree, its weird and slightly creepy! usually I think because it seems to go hand in hand with excessive eye contact and standing too close..................... or do I just attract that sort of person? I've always thought it sounds like they're just so proud they've actually managed to remember my name they want to make sure everyone knows it!

JG,

Yes I agree and I recall reading or being told that it was part of a pressure selling technique. On the other hand repeatedly being called Sir/Madam or similar, has a different effect and feels obseqious.

Hmmm, this is quite an interesting thread. I've never really taken much notice. i cant actually think of anyone I've come across that speaks like that. Think it sounds like a habit that the person probably isnt even aware they are doing, but yes, to be on the receving end would be very annoying!!
Its interesting to her what people thoughts are regarding name.
I am mid twenties but was brought up with close friends of the family being aunty and uncle and anyone that my parents had dealings with that were older but didnt come into the aunty/uncle category were MR & Mrs. For example my neighbour who is now in her 80's still sends me birthday and xmas cards as Mrs XXXX as thats what i have always called her.
Because I am young (ish) I do often get referred to by my first name which in most situations is fine and generally perceived as friendly but for more official appointments it would be nice to be referred to as Miss XXXXXX to show I am being taken seriously. Sometimes I feel slightly patronised by first name calling. Thats just my opinion though

I must admit I have got used to it now and I don't have an easy surname, but I did not like it when I first had friends have their children call me by my Christan name.

I had been brought up to consider it disrespectful.  Culturally in the Polish community, it was children and close family of same age by Christian names, then other close family and friends were Uncle Aunty. 

There is also the polite use of title with the Christian names, to remove the formality of Mr Smith etc

This is often used by children/younger people to family friends and acquaintances, that didn't merit the Aunty and Uncle (which is primarily for children, but gets carried into adulthood).  Also used for work   colleagues and acquaintances to each other, so you would have Pani Barbara (Ms Barbara) or Pan Stefan (Mr Stefan).

Shame it would be linguistically unwieldy in English

> The belief that informality is a privilege, not something to be assumed, perhaps? Over-repetition of someone's name in conversation is the mental equivalent of > standing too close and invading physical space

Two different things here. Informality and repetition.

When I was working in a commercial, office environment in the last 15-20 years, NOBODY ever called me Mrs ***  - customers, suppliers etc always used my first name, as they did for everyone. It is probably still common in professional establishments to use Mr & Mrs - doctors, dentists etc though.

As for repeating my name repeatedly in a conversation, I have never even thought about it before, but would just put it down to an idiosyncrasy - certainly wouldn't cause me to lose any sleep about it :) :) :)

I hate it!
From a call centre it reeks of insincerity and you KNOW theyve been taught to say it for a reason...usually to extract money or placate you.

Reminds me of the epidemic of 'wet floor' signs. They dont give a hoot if I slip, they just dont want me to sue them...insincerity!

> They dont give a hoot if I slip, they just dont want me to sue them...insincerity

Damned if they do, damned if they don't then :) :) :)

lunamoona, I said I worked with someone who kept repeating names and now I know why.  She had worked for Nat West Bank from leaving school so that is where she must have got it from.  Some of the places have got a lot to answer.  Though I did have someone (can't remember where) ask me if they could call me by my first name before doing so.