My Elderly father can no longer keep his dog,he is suffering from depression and his doctor had advised that he go into a home. Dads cleaning lady was looking for a dog and expressed an interest in his dog, last friday he rang me to say he had let the dog go with her. She rang me that night to speak about the dog and she was very excited about having her. Last night she rang me again to say she had changed her mind and could she bring the dog to me. I told her no as I am going to be away for a few days and that i have 3 dogs and a horse of my own and I don't have the time to take on another dog. plus I work. I spoke to dad and told him he would have to have her back until we can decide what to do. so my question is What do I do?. my family make me feel guilty because I do not want another dog, my sister is in the same situtation as me and my 2 brothers don't want a dog.I don't want the responsibility of trying to find some one to have her and then get it wrong, I wondered if a rescue home would have her as they know more about rehoming than me.

If she is a KC registered purebred then try to contact the breeder, failing that the breed rescues first. 

After that Dogs Trust, or smaller local organisations/shelters.

I'm afraid with me family would come first and I would take the dog like a shot -for your dad's sake. He has to have a difficult time enough already at the moment without the extra worry, and losing his dog. 3 or 4 doesn't make much difference.

I have always had her when he was taken into hospital on several occasions for weeks at a time but we could never relax with her, cant let her off lead as she will come back in her" own "time and as i have said I see to my sister and mine horses every morning and walk my 3 and go to work, she needs some one who has the time just for her, and in march we are expecting our first grandchild and  my eldest daughter is getting married next year. I do feel bad about it but the stress of having to see to dad as well is getting to me, although there are 4 of us its me that dad calls in the middle of the night, and if he goes into hospital its me that has to go with him.

I would take the dog in and then find her a home myself. But my situation is different as I'm used to multiple numbers of dogs and I'm home all day (albeit training other people's dogs/doing the dog boarding etc).

What about the Cinnamon Trust ?

http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/

If you don't want to keep her yourself I think the least you can do, for her, and for your father, is to take her meantime and find a home for her yourself. It isn't rocket science-- you just have to spread the word, preferably word of mouth, but possibly with ads in your vet and your father's vet, and then carefully vet any prospective owners, and get references from their vet etc. Keep in touch with them and be prepared to take her back if it doesn't work. This is what a rescue organisation would have to do anyway, and I think it is unfair to land a "rescue" with a dog who doesn't actually need "rescuing" when so many do.  Surely she is family, so your responsibility whether you want it or not.

Woodsford, I've prepared myself for many years that if my mother passes or becomes ill I will have to take on at least 3 of her dogs and my brothers the others, we have sorted this out well in advance, it is also why we have all put our foot down and told my mother no matter how fit she is and how much she loves her dogs, that she is to have no other dogs now as it is not fair on us if something happens to her.

If you don't prepare for these things this is what happens, young or old we all know who will care for and inherit our dogs if something happens. If yourself and your sister did not talk this over years ago then you should have with animals it is so unfair for them to be left with an unsound future.

You already have 3 dogs now and you feel it is not practical for yourself to have another, that is absolutely your right as much as it is a shame. You're not a bad person for not wanting to take on your dad's dog, you just didn't prepare for it, so whilst your dad is still at home I think he can keep hold of the dog as you have suggested, it will give him something to get up for and to do and love, until he goes into a home, I would work really, really hard on placing the dog in-between that time, whilst having yourself or a family member call in every day and speak regularly on the phone. The cleaning lady will still be in to check on your father and the dog too. :-)

Re: The cleaning lady, how could she mess you all about like that? :-(

I agree that the cinnamon trust and perhaps even The Dogstrust would be good to call along with sourcing friends and other relatives for a permanent home for the dog.

Hope that you can home this dog, many breed rescues will also find a home for you whilst you still keep hold of the dog so that it does not need to go into kennels, (which for me is the saddest part from a home to a kennel) So call breed rescue in your area and ask if they have anyone who has been vetted for the dog at all.

If you re-home yourself please, please vet carefully you don't want this dog bouncing around, it would be a horrible life for her.

Our dogs are family and I know this dog is your dad's, I would find it hard not to take her purely with her being family, but I don't know your circumstances and it is your life, dogs are for years and if you know you can't cope with another dog just do the best for her that you can. :-)

all ok, my brother has now got her. so thats  alright now, he has had dogs before and she knows him.

Fantastic!!! Great for your dad's peace of mind and of course the dog, hope that your brother has many happy years with her.

Now you can concentrate on everything else going on in your life, one less worry, but make sure your siblings share the load too with your dad, don't carry everything on your shoulders alone. :-)

Please don't feel bad because you can't take her, sounds like you have more than enough on your plate. I have 3 dogs and moving up to 4 would be my idea of a nightmare at present, adding to that that my family all have breeds of dog i would hate to live with permanently!

I just wanted to say that dogs and dog ownership has been clinically proven to be effective in reducing depression.  Even if your dad can't have his dog in the home, perhaps he can have visits from her.  And sometimes there are homes that do take people on with their pets, although these are still in the minority.  It is likely that your dad was attached to her...

> sometimes there are homes that do take people on with their pets

Cinnamon Trust http://www.cinnamon.org.uk/ has a Register of Pet Friendly Care Homes and Retirement Housing schemes (there are about 1200 in the UK which will accept residents with pets) which they verify with independent assessors.  It could probably be well worth having a chat with the Trust to see if they could help. 

Great news! And I wouldn't have felt bad.  I couldn't take on my FIL's dogs even if I wanted too.  I don't feel they are part of my family and I don't particularly like them so it would have been better to re-home rather than resent the presence.

> all ok, my brother has now got her.

Wonderful, hope she can still visit your Dad :-)

I'm glad to hear that a solution has been found which sounds ideal. Do not feel any guilt that you couldnt take on the dog yourself. Often the right decision is the hardest to come by and taking on the dog yurself which may have seemed the easy option wouldnt have been in her or your best interests so well done for thinking it through rather than making a rash decision before exploring other avenues :-)