Hello to all on here,

just brief background on my situation....had a much loved dog 6 years ago, who I had to rehome with a close friend as my hubby died and I had to take on various jobs to support my family.  I had a lot of stick from family that have never let me forget it.  I have just adopted a 3 month pom/spitz boy pup as I only work a couple of 4 hour days now, and have twin girls of 12 who are totally sensible, mainly lol, and committed to helping, whom I got from an old lady who could no longer cope with him . She had his parents, sister and half brothers all in with him, and let them all sleep on her bed, etc.  I really want to do the right thing by this little pup but feel totally overwhelmed by him after just a few days.  He obviously has never been left totally alone before, and howls if I leave him for the odd hour.  Do I just accept that, and hope it eventually stops??I want him to sleep on his own, but he screamed all night for the last 2 nights as I left him in the bathroom with his basket, toys etc..  I live in a small block of flats with a balcony and a lot of grounds all around.  He is almost house trained on the grass downstairs, but the lady told me to let him use the balcony as well, and I can't figure out how to train him to do both?? Should I just persevere with taking him down every hour, or put him on the balcony or pee pads as well??? He totally ignores the pee pads. I'm buying a crate tomorrow, so hope to train him to be happy in that, but don't know how to stop him howling tonight...he also whimpers most of the time, and whilst I'm trying to understand how lost he must feel, should I comfort him, or just ignore him when he does it??? I'm very tense already as I'm dreading my family telling me I shouldn't have got him, but have a lot to offer a dog, just feel useless and a bit lost about how to handle this little fella.   So sorry for the ramble, but really need to hear it'll all get better and I can do this ...Thanks for any input x

Oh dear - poor you.  Don't panic :)

Before I give some specific advice allow me to state something and ask a question.  Many adult dogs will be able, with the right support and training, to cope very happily with being left for four hours twice a week.  A puppy cannot (and won't be able to for quite some time).  Are you able to take some time off to get him settled, then have someone come in on your work days to look after him?

A crate is an option but this also requires acclimatisation and training and you won't be able to leave him in there for four hours either.  You should treat him as a much younger puppy as he probably still has a lot to learn and do remember that at this age he will have a bladder the size of a peanut and wont be able to hold on for too long.  Pups of his age often still need to go outside every hour, after eating, and after play.  In truth you can spend hours just drifting about outside with a youngster!

He will learn to sleep on his own if you want him to but he can be separate from you whilst still being nearby.  Don't let a puppy cry - he's lost and lonely and he needs comfort not discipline.  Bring him in with you, put his bed next to yours (in a crate or a puppy pen to prevent wandering) and drop a hand in to comfort him if he cries.  He will soon learn your nightime routines whilst you learn his.  It's important that you understand the yell that means "uh oh I need a wee" and the one that means "flipping eck I'm bored, can I get up and bounce on your head?" !!   Don't worry about long term issues - during this phase you are teaching him how to settle, your sleeping patterns and your noises provide comfort, and he will associate his bed/crate/basket with night time and security.  When you and he are ready you can move his bed/crate/basket to another room if you like.

Don't use pee pads - it's much too confusing as you are teaching him to pee on soft fabrics.  You could however get a couple of strips of turf and put them in some large potting trays for him to use on the balcony if that's easier.  I'd keep this as a short term temporary option for the middle of the night perhaps - just to save you going outside to your communal grounds in your nightie!!   A lot of pups pee automatically when their paws hit grass and if you catch him before he's fully awake he might not really know where he is anyway.  Lift the trays out of reach during the day, buy new turf strips as necessary and chuck the whole lot out when he no longer needs the mid night pee :)

Finally - pups are overwhelming.  No matter how well planned, how wanted, and how loved, they can be really really hard work and a post puppy panic is not unusual.  We probably all have stories about wondering what on earth we were thinking - who thought this was a good idea!!??   Can I also suggest a very good book to put this in perspective and give some good common sense advice about training and living with a puppy - The Puppy Primer by Patricia McConnell.  It's excellent and might be just what you need.  Well that and a calming cup of tea :)

brilliant,informative reply,dogs a babe!yes,dont panic,lots of good advice to follow there,i wish you well with your little pup!

Thanks for the advice dogsababe and the support colliepam...will take on board all you have said...find it very confusing when every other dog owner I know says let him cry it out for a few nights, etc... can I ask, if I put him in a crate next to me at night, do I lock him in it? If I do that, won't he think it's ok to use it to potty in?? At the moment, he's in a bathroom next to my room, with his basket, some pee pads and a few toys. If I don't lock him in, I had a hip replacement 6 months ago, and am very wary of one, hurting him if I step on him if he's loose in my bedroom, and two, breaking my new hip if I fall over him.  Sorry if I'm making all this too complicated!! Again, thanks for any help.

Welcome to the forum Shadowhunter :-)  You'll get lots of good support and advice here.

Puppies really are hard work in the early weeks however delightful they are!  Dogs a Babe and I have 2 sets of litter brothers and sisters between us (she has boys and I have girls) and we often used to phone each other up and console each other with tales of puppy issues!

Yes, close the crate door on him when he's next to your bed.  The crate should be big enough for him to stand up and turn round in comfortably - but preferably not too large.  Lined with vet bed (or something similarly cosy but easy to wash) the puppy should regard this as his nest.  In the same way as puppies move away from their bed and siblings when very tiny to wee etc.  If a big crate with an area of newspaper is used - I find that it just encourages the pup to toilet in there too - which slows down the process of them understanding that outdoors is the place to go.  The pup will need a late night chance to empty his bladder but also will need you to get up with him in the night for a while. If he is right next to you - you will hear him begin to stir and may be able to get him to where he needs to go - before he is fully awake.  Have some treats ready in your dressing gown pocket for rewarding him quietly when he wees in the correct place.

He will grow to adore his crate as a safe relaxing haven - although he will need careful introduction to it (stuffed kongs are useful) and should obviously have been given the chance to empty bladder etc before going in.  If you can manage it - a second hand crate from ebay kept downstairs will be useful.  There are some bargains on there - looks for ones that open at top as well as the end.

Enjoy him and take lots of photos - he won't be a baby for long!

Ooops - missed the bit about living in a flat - however - Ebay still great for crates if you haven't got yours yet!

>if I put him in a crate next to me at night, do I lock him in it? If I do that, won't he think it's ok to use it to potty in??

If you have his crate by your bed you'll wake when he stirs and needs to toilet, so you'll be able to take him out to your balcony (putting down a piece of turf is an excellent idea) to toilet and then pop him back into bed again straight away. I'm sure he'll get into the habit of sleeping through very quickly. :-) Good luck - it'll be well worth it in the end, even if it does seem daunting now!

Thanks for the responses...think I will sleep in the sitting room which leads onto the balcony, and crate him next to me and try Jeangenie's suggestion. Off to buy some turf. Thanks again.

Good luck I have the same cross breed. It will be well worth the effort -I find my little one a delight barks too much took ages to be housetrained but a little love and wouldn't be without her. .