well i have gone on strike, i have one 17 year old left at home and one 50 year old that thinks he is on a permenant holiday he had an accident over 7 years ago and is slowly getting better, but thinks that he can do the same as he did when working NOTHING he moves when their is painting or decorating to do thinks a woman cannot do it, well he is right i can't but that is not the point,

I have for the last 27 plus years looked after him and my 3 children , only one left yes she has autism and adhd, but she is looking for her own flat so she needs to start doing things for her self, so last week, i started doing my own washing , and then i get off him i have no underwear or socks have you not been doing any washing, reply i do not wear them do i, daughter i need these washed like yesterday for college, well you know where the flamin machine is don't you,

made my dinner there dinner was cooked but i left it in the pans etc walked into the living room sat down and ate my dinner they got up and then i could hear them banging plates around etc, he said you are so funny when he came in with his dinner,

today one of my dogs got me up at 3.20am so i am not in the best of moods to start with being woken at that itme and then at 6.25 he came into the living room saying that his dog needed out and why did i leave her inthe bedroom with him when i calmly explained why he said oh ok and went back to bed .

so the strike continues today no food is being made i have a trainee chef in the house and she does not lift a finger to cook

i am going for a very long walk this morning around some lakes with the dogs so i can let off steam come back and play with the pups they always put a smile on my face

wonder how long it will be before they put the washing machine on ?
feed themselves?
make me a cup of coffee ?    OMG just seen some pigs fly by the window
thanks for letting me garble on i should get one of those braziers that you sit around when on strike
oh that is a brilliant idea then i could use all their clothes to keep it going and then they would not need to put the washing machine on LOL

Oh dear............ you know where you are going wrong don't you?........... Come on I know you know......?

What do we always practice on this site? What are those three very important words?

????........... Of course. Praise and reward. :-)

Not just for dogs, but for children, husbands, wives, partners, parents........

If you stamp your feet, down tools, refuse to do things where will it get you? A little laughter a little annoyance but a lot of '"mum's having a funny turn again." :-)

You should have started this years ago when your children were small, teaching them to do things and when they did it praising like mad and rewarding with hugs and huge smiles.

Even when my son aged approx 9yrs thought he would do me a favour as I had taught them all how to use the washing machine, in case mummy was ill one day :-) he got up that morning went downstairs and put all my whites in the washing machine on hot along with a black sock. Well, don't need to tell you the result. :-D But I praised him for doing a good job, but said to make sure there were no socks in there next time.

Just because they are grown up now does not mean the praise and reward has to stop, you have to continue to do it. ;-) The house has always been my domain and tbh most women do enjoy nesting it's an instinct in us to nest and to make our homes for our lives and children, my home runs like clockwork and my family know I like things just so, it would be so easy for my family to think it is not their job too, to keep it clean and organised and to also cook, so even now if hubby and my sons make me a coffee or something to eat or do the housework I always still praise and that way I always get help. :-)

Sit everybody down and say you would like help, that you feel put upon and would like people to show their appreciation of you a little as it means a lot to you.

When they do anything, even if it is wrong, praise and reward, you will soon find how infectious it is to want to see you smile and give that praise. We all thrive on praise. :-)

My husband would just ask me if I was 'due on' and he would usually be right !!!

I find they either need telling what you want them to do with clear instructions, or make life easier for you and just do it yourself. We've all been there !

So true about the PMT lol !

I regularily go on strike when I have had enough ! I am lucky as have the children and OH trained it they do have lapses but it only takes me having a wobble and they soon get back to helping !!

Luckily I have no children at home now just OH doggies and me, but still I feel put on at times. If we are going out I like the lounge and bathroom doors shut, Anything that may be "interesting " pushed out of the way (The girls are good but to leave temptation in the way is silly !) dog beds neatly made (Why?) and treats handed out...and by the time I get to the car OH say's "What have you been doing !!! " He just gets himself ready and walks out :-(
He finds it impossible to push a chair in after he has been sat at the table...after a shower I hang the bath mat over the shower door to dry and lift the bath rug and hang over the edge of the bath...himself just walks out :-( ...I've only been doing it for 15 years :-O ....leaves an unholy mess if he has been DIYing (Builder ...it's rare ! ) washes and polishes the bike like it's made of gold...but never washes the car !
But he has his good points, he always loads the dishwasher if I am working till 10pm..puts his own ironing away...walks dogs if needed....is chief cobweb clearer....brings logs in unasked. So I cannot complain...no good too anyway, he's a man !!!!
Aileen

Mine aren't too bad but they have to be told to do everything - why am I the only one who see's what needs done? Anyway I'm going to buy 'The woman who went to bed for a year' by Sue Townsend because that is what I intend to do when I retire :-D

oh dear...!!! did i start a womans rant page lol...

Good on you!! if theyre all well old enough to handle washing and drying themselves they can wash n dry cups plates and clothes..if they can lift a filled kettle without a struggle they can make a cuppa themselves....

cant wait til my youngest hits 6 im off to the bahamas for 6 weeks ALONE...
lol

(yeah course i you are i hear u all laugh)

lol

I find its easier to do everything myself then at least its done properley. I prefer to put a full load in the washer rather than us washing individually.

My OH and daughter don't even notice if the house is a mess but it stresses me out and if I say anything they say I'm nagging!

If I don't put their washing away it will stays there for days even weeks! Stressing me out!

> I find its easier to do everything myself then at least its done properley

haha, me too :-)  except my partner has now cottoned on...if i ask why he hasnt done anything all day while i've been out the house he says 'well i cant do it as good as you or meet your standards so whats the point'....damn :-)

Classic quote, when partner and i were talking/arguing about the fact we both work and share childcare but i do everything around the house and all the cooking (which i dont think is fair?!) he said he would help out more. He offered to put the hoover round. I said there was always ironing to do  aswell, he says 'but i dont like doing ironing' pmsl, i had to explain that contrary to his beliefs i dont actually enjoy doing household chores either but do them becasue they have to be done in order to live in a clean tidy home. I said that if i only did what i enjoyed doing then we would live in a pig sty eating cakes (cos thats all i really enjoy cooking!) lol lol

well they did their washing and made me something to eat, i was polite and said thankyou and ate it was very nice, but they are still having to struggle on doing things and i am spending more time doing what i want to

Good for you !

GOOD FOR YOU AND WELL DONE! :)

I went on strike once for a few weeks.  NO-ONE NOTICED!   They were quite happy to live in a sty and eat sarnies, just washing the odd dish when it suited and wearing dirty clothes.   I gave up in the end as I hate living in a sty and seeing the mess - my guess is they know this better than I do :(

I find sympathetic sarcasm works much better with my lot than striking or clicker training/praise.

Examples
Came home to find every cupboard door open in the kitchen and living room, I thought we'd been burgled but no, OH had been looking for something   so I was very sympathetic about his poorly finger and asked did I need to drive him to hospital?   He wanted to know why I was worried about his finger, then I slammed the cupboard doors with one finger and said "Well apparently your finger is incapable of doing this!"

DD would only ever do half of any job I asked of her - I called her 'Selected Highlights'.  So I started giving her dinner uncooked, frozen Burger and Veggies on a plate, raw chicken dinner, when she was least expecting it and refused to see why it was a problem for her, after all I'd done half of it :-D

And she got very irate with me when I gave her her clean clothes all neatly folded and told her to go throw them on her bedroom floor and trample them down :-p

She's now in her own home and very houseproud!!!

I find the rath of mummy if things aren't done properly works very well as I have a very good 'going off on one' that has been experienced before works very well ! We have an agreed level of what is acceptable and we all work to that !

Running our own business and running a family and a home plus the animals needs some discipline otherwise we would go into melt down so it is all about getting the agreement about all having responsiblity .

Hooray :) :)
I now choose to live in a bit of a mire as no one else really cares only me
I know the day may come when I could be alone again so that will be when all is clean and tidy and order is restored.
I do find it stressful though as I would prefer it to be 'nice'.
But I refuse to do all..

Karen

Well, I don't have the same problem as you all, as I live alone.

Which means that I don't have a choice about working full time.  I have a dog sitter here during the day, but he only walks/feeds.

If a dog puked on a bed, he would throw the dirty cover outside, as he knows where all my clean, ready to go, duvet covers are.  But wouldn't think to throw a dirty cover in the machine for me!

When I get home from work, it is my time to spend with my dogs, doing things we all love.  Even my laptop is upstairs so that internet time doesn't start until bedtime. 

So I always tell people that, as soon as I leave the house, the maid stops work.  Living alone means nobody can grumble if the telly needs dusting.  And, when we sometimes sit down to watch a TV programme, they all come into the tiny living room.  I tell them all to lie down, and it's wall to wall dog.  You can't even see that I haven't vaccuumed the carpet.  :-)

i like the idea of living alone just with my dogs, i know one time my lot got a bit panicky when i went away to a show and i phoned them on the day i was supposed to be comming home and said i am stopping away a few more days and will not be answering my phone i am off surfing with the dogs only had two dogs then so there was a little pause and then a but you are comming back he said, i was tempted to say i will think about it, but i said yes of course have not done that for years just took off without any of them.

> And she got very irate with me when I gave her her clean clothes all neatly folded and told her to go throw them on her bedroom floor and trample them down

With my son I stopped folding or ironing his clothes. the others each had a pile of neatly folded and pressed clothes to put away on ironing day and he had a bundle of screwed up clothes ready to dump on the floor. It didn't make much difference but at least it meant I wasn't spending time folding and ironing clothes only for him to  trash them.

When I was very wee, and my big sister still lived at home, if she didn't tidy her clothes away, Mum used to gather them all up and throw them out the window into the backgreen, we lived 5 floors up in a tenement, they used to look lovely fluttering all the way down to the ground lol.

nattering over the back fence to the neighbour and she said you look more relaxed than every this week and i told her what i had done she burst out laughing, she said i did the same as you but i bagged all there clothes up and hid them in the outhouse so when they where down to their last jeans and knickers she said they came rushing to me mam have you done such and such i said no why well where are all my clothes OH those things i thought you did not want them stewn all over your bedroom floor and bathroom etc so i bagged and binned them and they knew the bin men had been they where panic stricken and i just carried on doing what i was doing, she said give them back after three days but they never did it again , and the next thing she did was let all the dishes stack up they had used and went and served their roast dinner on the kitchen table she said they where all sitting there and i put the meat down and the talking slowed down and i ladled out the potatoes infront of them straight onto the table things went really quite when i turned around to get the peas a little voice said are you ok mam yes fine she said well what are you doing, well there are the dishes non washed all used so when you have finished this lot with gravy on i can just put the dog on the table and he will clean the table for me so done, they shot up and started to do the dishes we where laughing really hard outside and her husband said you talking about me and that set us off again,

This has had me in stitches..

When I used to live with my Dad it was a battle to get him to do anything, seriously.. In the end I stopped doing anything for him, clearing up after him etc, he got the hint somewhat but wasn't great.

I moved out and guess what the house is NEVER messy now and its all pristine inside, go figure!!!

When things arnt done in my house I ban the computer :- Computer cost me money to run in electric and B/B access, so they have to earn the right to use it!!!
The other one is the Baked bean diet. - Food costs money, so baked beans every night, baked beand on toast, toast on baked beans, baked beans on baked potato. Its amazing how quickly the lights are turned off, doors closed, things done!!!
Lea :)