i have a 18 month old bitch at home since she came home at 8 weeks old she has only had eyes for my OH, when i want to work her or train her i have problems, she would rather be with anyone else in the barn especially the trainers as they are the people that bred her as well, but me,she is full on at home and my OH only has to point at her and say what he wants her to do and she does it, if she has not seen him for most of the day eg when he is at hospital most of the day she practically hyperventilates when she sees him, she is so excited she is making woooffflinnggg noises running around him and jumps into his arms kissing him, she adores the ground he walks on, and the feelings are mutual he just adores her, she tolerates me , i can be out all day and when i get back she runs up says hello and then off she goes, that is it, do you think i should just admit defeat training her and just let her stop at home with OH she will of course come to shows with us both but when i am going by myself jsut leave her with him, or should i perservear with her and see if things get better between us.Do you think training at another club away from her breeders would help us or should i just give up , i feel as though i am  not getting anywhere with her just fustrated at her i feel as though both of us are not enjoying our training like we should be, when we train in the garden she is whizzing around and doing well, so what am i doing wrong why the problems any ideas.

When there are more than one human in the home the dogs have a choice as to which they bond with the most, we have no say in the matter.

I live alone bar for the dachsies so get all their attention, this too has its pitfalls as my lad won't co operate for someone else for me to get pics/videos, he just bucks and lunges regardlees how long we try for and moves correctly immediately I take over the leash.

You could try a different class and see if that sorts things out.

Good Luck

I feel really upset for you. I don't know how I would feel if a dog did not bond as well with me as my O/H. Rhodach is right that dogs always bond closer with one person than the other as it is generally us I guess we don't think about what if it wasn't?

I dare say that she does pick up on your insecurities which she may read as a slight 'aversion' to her, a dog will put our vibes into simple feelings that they understand black and white so to speak, if she does not get confident and upbeat vibes from you she will go elsewhere, and before you think of acting your way through it, no point a dog knows truth from fiction. If your thinking she isn't going to do this for me, or she would rather not be with me, you can't fool a dog they know they can read everything we put out, which is why some people find training hard as insecurities are tapped into and taken full advantage of.

It would help you to change training away from the breeder as that takes away her reading you there, so perhaps a fresh start could work, at home stop thinking that she tolerates you, try to embrace her love for your OH and she will pick up on that too.

I'm not saying I wouldn't feel the same as you, I would be devastated, but if you want this dog on side you can not even think it when she is around you need to always be confident around a dog you are training, believe and the dog eventually does too, she will stop questioning and stop taking the michael. :-)

This made me smile.  Our second Akita(first bitch) was exactly like this.  She adored my OH and would outwardly detest me.  She would stare at me and if I made eye contact she would 'talk'(sort of yodleing) as if she was telling me just how much she hated me being there!  She was so jealous that I would get between her and 'her da'.  Everyone called her 'the witch' as she was so evil to me.  And I had to give up the showing with her as she just wasn't interested in me at all.  She spent the entire class looking through the crowds for my OH and if she spotted him, pah, I might as well give up.  She even bit me on the butt during one class as I was bent over stacking her.  Such a laugh for everyone else but she hated me.  And I tried so hard with her but to no avail.  I'm scared to tell you but we called a sort of truce when she was about 11? I guess and she 'tolerated' me but she never liked me very much.
She died about 7 years ago at the age of 14 and I miss that auld witch so much.  I guess she was just too smart for me!!lol.

that made me laugh about the akita as you are just summing up exactly what she does and what i think, i know i have other dogs and they love me and they love him, but she is obssessed with him, i have just booked another agility class with someone else to take her there and see what happens when we go there.

Ive got one too.
She pretends to like me because she has to spend all day with me but waits longingly for the love of her life to get home.
THEN she glares at me, ignores me, gets right next to her Daddy and gives me dirty looks.

She is super obedient and we used to play a game with her that the two of us would walk in opposite directions and call her...her obedience would kick in and she would recall every time to me. That was then!!
Since shes got old she doesnt give a hoot about me and goes off with him almost holding hands...anything to get him away from me :-)
Old bag!

Interesting that all the dogs mentioned in this thread so far have been bitches - I too have this with my older bitch who will do anything for my OH, she can't wait to clamber onto his knee and gaze longingly into his eyes. Last night she just wouldn't settle and was bugging him all evening. I guess he'd had a stressful day. Eventually when all else failed, he pushed her away and shouted at her - she just slunk off to the other side of the coffee table and sulked!

I used to show her and gave up after one particularly embarrasing incident at a Ch show when she tried to jump the ring tape in order to get to him. Here's me frantically gesturing for him to get out of sight (and trying to hang onto a large dog on a very thin leather show lead) - too late, she'd spotted him - game over!!! She spent the rest of the time I was in the ring whining and wouldn't even look at me, desperately looking through the crowd trying to spot him. Worse still was that we were entered in the following class too - I just wanted the ground to swallow me up!!!!

However, she's had two litters which he hasn't had much to do with especially around whelping time. She has been fine with me helping her with her pups, never a dodgy moment.

However, given a choice, she would spend every waking moment with my OH she adores him!!

My boy on the other hand, would always be with me rather than the OH. If we split up on walks, 100% of the time he'll stay with me, or run back to me!

I don't really know what to suggest, would your OH take over with the training classes? (I know my OH won't, it's my hobby, not his lol!). I'm sorry to say I'm not sure it can be changed, like others have said, they choose who they prefer... in my experience, the girls just love their daddy's!! (funny enough, it's been the same with my children too to a point). Perhaps it's just the normal order of things.

Hope you manage to work something out.

Tanya

i would love him to take over agility but he is disabled and can't walk to far, and i think he would be to embarrassed to do it, the only time she is good for me is in the breed ring, but then daddy is on the outside of the ring and she knows as soon as she is done back to the love of her life, funny thing is he can stand right beside the ring and she trots around with me and stands lovely on the table etc.
At the moment he is at hospital so she has evil me to be with she is sitting on the sofa watching the door for him to walk in, and then she will go mental with relief that he has come to rescue her, LOL

Ha ha typical Akita!!  That story did make me laugh :)  My Akita bitch lived with myself and my mum for 3 years until I moved house (with my OH) and she tolerated my mum...everytime my mum would ask her to do anything she would give the typical Akita 'honking' noise and stomp off, however for me she would do everything.  Now move on to living with my OH...from day 1 she has absolutely adored him, she see's him and honestly her eyes light up, she spins in circles, woo's and just stares at him desperate for affection, she still gets very excited about me but i'd say she has definitely attached herself to him.

My dog and bitch Rottie however....they are mine through and through, they will ignore the OH when I am around and just want to be with me lol.

Oh bless her! lol. I must say I have never had one prefer someone else over me so can only imagine how upsetting it must be for you. Before I threw my now ex out my lot would not even acknowledge him,if we went out anywhere without them, he would get pushed out of the way so that they could all greet me and even after they had greeted me they still would not go to him. He used to tell people he could drop down dead on the spot and they would step over him to get to me! He was probably right as well lol.

I feel sorry for my OH as the girls are all mine !! If we try to split up on a walk they all follow me. He would have to put one on a lead to make her go with him. Yet at home the pup is his baby, she chooses to sit on his chair with him but that could just be because he is far to soft with "His girl" and her Mum Merlot (My top dog) gets pride of place on my chair with me. Not that she minds if the pup climbs up as well but 15 stone of dog is too much on one chair and I end up chucking them both off. Then pup climbs up with Dad for the "Poor doggy did Mummy not want you" routine and Merlot sneaks back up with me...
My oh does no training whatsoever with the girls but loves the fact that I do and when he askes them to do something and they do he is childishly pleased and boastes about his Good dogs !!!
If we go to something like a car boot or antique show for a wander he insists on holding his baby Vino and then gets frustrated when she spends the whole time trying to walk by my side...wheras Merlot and Pespi walk with me with a smug look on thier faces ! Mind you anyone with 3 Bernese at a car boot will know that walk is not the right word...two steps then stop for cuddles is a better description!
There is not much you can do really except use your OH as a training treat and let her have her cuddle as a reward. It may help.
Aileen

One of our dogs was definitely my OH's dog rather than mine - and his litter brother was exactly the opposite! Harry would immediately recall when I was out with them and Piglet would come back in his own time. It was the other way round if OH took them out - Piglet would gallop back at the first call and Harry would ignore him! They got really confused when we went out together - we found the only way to get them back was to each call 'our' dog. :-)

I do feel for you.
It is completely the opposite at mine, all my dogs are obsessed with me and it does make me feel really bad at times. They will literally follow me everywhere and watch my every move, glaring up at me even when I'm just watching tv or reading a book LOL.  If we are out in the paddock with the kids who are desperately trying to play with them and I have to pop indoors the dogs will just stand at the gate and moan until I get back. If they are asked to do something by anyone else they will often just ignore the command where as I literally just have to give a little huhum and a look. The OH and kids do make comments all the time about it and it does make me feel bad but, I'm not doing anything special.

Our dogs are a total mixture. Ripley (Mali bitch) is mine, mine and all mine -one little party trick almost that I love showing off with is get somebody else to ask her to walk at heel, as she will then run to MY side and heel even if I haven't said a word or moved a muscle. :) Rocco (Mali dog) is all my husband's, he has no interest in me -and no I have no bond with him. Harry (Papillon dog) is all my daughter's, he can do all sorts of tricks and does anything for her, won't do anything for me.  Some will do anything for anyone and love us all as much, like Z (Mali dog) and Monty (the Cavalier dog). Fame a Malinois bitch has turned -she used to be besotted with my husband and would pull hard to get to him if I had her on a lead, I couldn't even hold her, then I started doing a lot more obedience with her and now she's just as much mine.

Guess there are advantages to having a house full, LOL. The cats are just the same, BTW. Including one that I bottlefed who can't stand me but adores my stepson who has never fed her even once in her life!

>Interesting that all the dogs mentioned in this thread so far have been bitches

I have often heard it said that bitches have a distinct preference for men and dogs prefer women.

Mine are all girls and have become right traitors where cuddles are concerned, but as i do everything with the girls walking feeding showing etc, it has little effect.  It does help that the breed tend to be pretty even handed with their affections, and don't show an overwhelming attachment to just one person.

Being the centre of any beings world would be too much of a responsibility for me to bear..

Nando is 'my' dog very much but does show a preference to my Mum because she doesn't have the calm control of him that I have- she will laugh or go mental when he does something wrong- both just tell him that what he is doing is rewarding.

She moans though when he nearly knocks her over when she comes in the house, opposed to the quiet (but excited) greeting he gives me, and the fact that he will go to his bed and wait for his dinner as soon as I get the bowl, vs knocking the bowl out of her hand if she tries to feed him!

Funnily enough though he will re-call to Mum more than he will to me, and will go straight back to my sister to who has never done an ounce of training in her life! I think his instinct to protect kicks in with my Mum & Sister were as he doesn't need it so much with me!