I am shocked. What a terrible place this young man must have been in.

Really sad news and even sadder for his lads. He only lived down the road. We actually drove past Huntington about 7 this morning on our way to a show.Gives me the creeps to think what he was up to...
What annoys me though is people saying, 'I only just talked to him and he was fine', 'I only just saw him and he was talking about playing golf'.
Well, he's hardly going to say 'Right lads I'm off home to top myself'??! And he obviously wasn't fine!

> What annoys me though is people saying, 'I only just talked to him and he was fine'

Why does it annoy you ??? That is exactly what I said when my boss killed himself some years ago !! He 'appeared' fine at work that day. He went out telling me to leave some papers for his signature on his desk which I did (I only worked until 3pm then)  - he came back later, signed them, said good night to everyone, went home and killed himself. He appeared totally normal and had done so previously. I won't go into why he killed himself, but he wasn't ill and hadn't given any indication to anyone that he had a problem with his life :(

>What annoys me though is people saying, 'I only just talked to him and he was fine'

You shouldn't let it annoy you, as if it happened to someone close to you, it is very likely what you would say.  Unless, of course, you believe that you could tell where others have not.

It is totally usual for people not to know.  A guy that I worked with some years back, was in his 30's with a solid career, and he was excited about the new motorbike he was getting.

He was totally flirting with me and acting like a normal guy.  He drove to the woods that night so he would be hard to find.  He died in his car.

There is no way EVER that I could have even guessed.

> Well, he's hardly going to say 'Right lads I'm off home to top myself'??! And he obviously wasn't fine!

I think this is the great tragedy of suicide and seems particularly true of young men, that there is often no warning at all and many are successful at first try.  I've heard from relatives that some are so very well planned, over a period of time, but still they had no inkling...

A friend of my brothers arranged his suicide meticulously, and with enormous consideration to others who might find him.  It's seems hard to understand that he could take such care with tiny details but still find his life impossible to continue.

A very sad story for all those affected by suicide.  My thoughts are with you xxx

What annoys me is that nobody's saying 'Isn't it sad that I just talked to him and had no idea how bad he was feeling' or 'he must have been in a really dark place to do that' or 'isn't it sad that I didn't ask if he was ok'.
And how do you guys know if I have or not have been there? After all, you don't know me just like Gary Speeds friends didn't know him well enough to know that things very obviously weren't as it seemed.

>just like Gary Speeds friends didn't know him well enough to know that things very obviously weren't as it seemed.

Or that Gary Speed didn't want them to know anything was wrong. People have their pride.

Poor man, to have total strangers bickering about him on the internet.

I feel for his poor poor family, hope Gary is at peace now! x

With many 'successful' suicides, the person has gone into a zone where the decision is made and they become calm.

At that point, it is very hard to know how low the person has become - because they can be almost euphoric that they have come to this 'settled place' at the end af a terrible decision making time.

So sad but, as someone else has said, he is at peace now.

> What annoys me is that nobody's saying 'Isn't it sad that I just talked to him and had no idea how bad he was feeling' or 'he must have been in a really dark place to do that' or 'isn't it sad that I didn't ask if he was ok'.
>

I think, in effect, that is what they are saying :)  People express themselves in different ways but I have no doubt, if they knew him, they are shocked and saddened.

A very sad day for all football, whether it be fans,players or managers. So much promise wasted.

the person has gone into a zone where the decision is made and they become calm.

This is exactly what happens there are different types of suicide victims, those who show they are distressed and going down hill fast are usually the types crying out for help and the signs are there to be picked up on.

Then there are those who act just like deciding it is their last day at work, have everything planned and are actually calm and content with themselves, generally upbeat as they know whatever troubles them will soon be over, no-one can spot these victims and it is hardest on family and friends as they feel guilty when they shouldn't as they could just never have known.

It's terribly sad when people end their lives, if only they could choose to look ahead a year from now............. but often that is easier said than done.

We never really know each other, in fact most people rarely know themselves, I dare say this time last year Gary Speed would never have believed he could have done this.          R.I.P