OK, so I'll admit it on here, I'm not a real blonde!!  I've been getting my ever-greying hair highlighted for years but recently, what with the climate, I've been finding it harder to justify the money every 6 weeks so this weekend, I decided to take my OH's sister up on the offer of her doing my hair(she is a trained, proffessional).  I've just always went to the same lady who does my hair the way I like(but can't afford).  Well, I absolutely hate the way my SIL has done it.  With a passion!!  It's far too light as I like more of a very light brown but I have streaks of platinum now and I can still see roots.  So needless to say, I won't be asking her again and will be going back to my usual girl but how do I do all this without hurting SIL's feelings?  I don't mean to sound ungrateful as she would've did me such a great favour if she had just did what I asked.  Instead she was all about how to lighten without ruining my hair so didn't use bleach(which my hairdresser does then trims the ends) and now I have an awful colour!  Argh, families?  Anyone want one?!
Would love some advice on how to get out of this mess without telling SIL she is crappy at colours!!

Could you politely say that while you appreciate the idea of doing something different, you prefer the colour you usually have and give her one more chance to do as you ask? I feel so lucky to have a long suffering hubby who does mine - we get the cheap stuff from Tesco and it looks fine when he does it. :-)

Oh dear, it's a hard one isn't it, it sounds so easy to just say I'm going back to my hairdresser, but it isn't at all.

The thing is I don't know about everyone else but it took me a long time to find a hairdresser I loved, one that did my hair just how I like to do it, you can go in 10 and they will all be different, hairdressers are just like friends no two are alike, and you have to stick to the one that connects with you. As if your hair doesn't look right, then you don't feel right do you?

I had the same issue with a friend who trained as a hairdresser and of course asked to do mine, I hated the way she cut and did a blow dry, really hated it, no matter how many times I explained how I wanted it done and of course she saw my hair all the time as I liked it, but it made no difference; the minute she left I would re-wash my hair and re-blow dry it, but like you have found, it is so hard to say I don't wish to use you as probably like mine she thinks she is doing a great job.

I um'd and ar'd for weeks how to tell her and in the end I just couldn't tell her (which is unusual for me as I have no problem telling other people No! :-D ) as I knew it would crush her confidence, in the end I made excuses like I'd had it done on holiday or whilst out with other friends or pretend it didn't need doing and just let her do it a couple of times a year so as not to upset her.

My get out eventually was that she moved and that made it easy. Phew!

But, in your case I feel it is a little easier just being a colour as it is easy to say, the colour was too light for your taste can it be darkened down and show her the colour you want, you can get away with that without hurting her feelings it's only a colour preference, if she just can't get the colour right then you'll have to just make excuses and secretly have it done elsewhere or if you can be honest and say you really liked your old hairdresser as she knows straight away how you like your hair, however that is much harder than it sounds as I found out, so feel your discomfort completely.

Best of luck, it's a hard one with family and friends. :-(

>it took me a long time to find a hairdresser I loved, one that did my hair just how I like to do it, you can go in 10 and they will all be different,  

Total empathy from me.  I have natural hair (yuk) and find it so, so difficult to find someone who actually knows how to cut curly hair.  And I know exactly what style I like.  I even went in to Tony & Guys and booked the expensive manager one summer.  He objected to everything I wanted!  I said that I liked to wear my fringe long.  He said no, no that's very sixties.  I said that I wore it long in the neck, and liked it very short on top.  He told me no, as I would look like Rod Stewart! 

Okay, so I'm the oldest rocker in town, but it's my money, and hairdressers are not cheap.  I drive just over 100 miles round trip to get my hair cut exactly how I asked for it.  It's great, because it's a stye that I can handle.  I don't do faffing around (because when I was told to use a diffuser, I bought one, and had a go at doing it myself.)  I looked like Daffy bloody Duck, with a cockatiel finish.

Done how I want it means that I wash it, hang it upside down and use an affro comb on it, and let it dry stuck up.  Combed with my fingers it is how I want it to look.  I don't own a brush! 

">I looked like Daffy bloody Duck, with a cockatiel finish.<br />

:-D  :-D nearly pee'd my pants at that  :-D :-D

>">I looked like Daffy bloody Duck, with a cockatiel finish.<br />

> nearly pee'd my pants at that   

me too :-)
I have the opposite problem, I have very fine hair and can't get a style unless it is very short. I tend to leve mine alone until it needs a cut, so look like a scarcrow a times. It's there, I comb it, and I forget about it, and it shows :-D

"> It's there, I comb it, and I forget about it, and it shows :-D

What's this!!      You're wearing my hair ;)

This topic has really cheered me up!!!  How many of us have perfect coffied dogs and we look like we are being dragged through a hedge on the way to shows!!haha.  I fostered a Afghan hound once and that was seriously a joke.  He looked gorgeous and groomed at all times and I'm sure he was thouroughly embarrassed to be seen with me!
I think I am going to use the excuse that she wouldn't take payment and I feel uncomfortable with it(which isn't a lie!) so instead of asking again, I just will go back to my usual lady.
Poor hubby is stuck in the middle and keeps telling me my hair is gorgeous!!haha.  But my mum comes back from holiday today so I will get a true answer from her!

I sympathise with your predicament as I'm in a similar situation. I went to the same hairdresser for years and was always happy but when the bill reached a 3 figure sum AND they stopped giving a head massage with the shampoo I couldn't justify the expense so on recommendation of 3 friends got a mobile person. The job isn't as good but I've had to put up with it as it's only a third of the cost of the other one.

Well, I got my answer last night when a friend informed me that I needed my roots done!!  When I told her I'd had my hair done on saturday, she nearly fainted!!  Back to my hairdresser

Ive got a friends wife who does mine for about 4 years and I would love to go elsewhere but I cant hurt her feelings, so im moving!!!!

PMSL!!!! Whistler, I think that's taking it a bit far lol!!!

I am going back to my lady with some vouchers I got for my birthday next month then after that, I couldn't ask again because she doesn't take any money and I don't like to put her out.  Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I have a similar problem in that my hair is very curly and likewise, I have to blow dry it upside down after hair moussing for it to look nice, which it does. I would ilke to have it layered but just can't justify the expense right now!

You have all given me courage and Im having a cut with a different person today!!!
Who's going to hold my hand then??

:-D Come on............... let's all walk you down there :-) You'll be fine, let us know.

Ive got a shoulder length bob with bronze and golden hi lites it looks fab!!!
Wounder if OH will recognise me - silly me the body does not go with the chic look!!!

Oh, brilliant! :-)

Well, hubby may walk in and then walk out again thinking he's in the wrong house. :-D

I bet you have lost 10yrs amazing what a good hair cut and colour can do for you, flick that hair and enjoy the complements. :-)

Thanks Im building up for my op this Thursday I needed a pamper before I get plastered for 3 months!!!

Oooh, sounds lovely and so easy to keep too!  Bet hubby is delighted with his 'new' wife tonight!!

me too,but with sympathy as ive been fighting and torturing my hair since secondry school(a long,long,time ago!)daffy duck sounds good to me,believe me!

Know exactly where you're coming from. My sister is my hairdresser as that's what she does. But I do have to rein her in!! It seems that an inch or just the split ends are what I say but what she hears is....no doubt in a hiss....take 6 inches off she'll never notice!! I reckon she thinks of every arguement we ever had as kids and then cuts my hair!! 

For quite a few years I stopped using her and went elsewhere, never said a word to her just did it!! Now though we have it sorted. She says "Good god woman the state of your hair!! Here Shareen 'ave a look at this will ya, ever seen owt like it? Needs a good cut an'all don't it" She's a classy lady by the way. A lady who has SHORT hair, which I firmly believe to be the stumbling block. I have long hair and like it so, dyed to death and proud of it, no grey for me thank you very much, and when I do go grey eventually it will be silver!! BUt walking dogs does itno justice and neither does she. I have found over the years the best tactic to be " Well really liked,insert something revelant, but couldn't get on with again insert option whatever!" Whilst distracting her by talking about tv shows. I also go to the shop where I can watch what she's doing.

We have had some disasters though, like the time I suggested darker and it went black!! Went to school to pick my son up, everyone said it looked nice, my son burst into tears at the very sight of me. A shade to far me thinks and I hated it. Then there were the red "flashes" of colour that really were red!! Which over time faded to pink, not a good look combined with blonde highlights. The ash blonde with dark streaks that looked green when I'd blow dried them. Yep I've surely had fun experimenting!! The time I said just the split ends and whoomf off went well over 6 inches!! I didn't go back for a while after that cut, had no bloomin' need!! Completely her point I think!

Seems to be working now, but families and hair can be a nightmare. 

Eek..

Now I realise how lucky I am, my best friend cuts and colours mine for me and she HAS listened, and she does now understand curly hair and all its peculiarities (ie, cut an INCH off, not 'three and she won't notice' because of course as it dries with the reduced length, it curls up MORE and will look far shorter!), so I now, finally after mmmm 25 years of horrible hair cuts, get what I want.

And now I am moving 200 miles away..... arrrrrrrrrgh!

She visited the other night and suggested doing a few more highlights as she could see roots!!  Whaaa!  I ran a mile.  No thanks was my simple answer.  I am going back to my hairdresser even though it costs me lots, at least then I like my hair!  I love it blonde but not bright yellow with white streaks!  My hairdresser does it a lovely dark blonde colour and I am growing it back out after cutting it short last year so I am shoulder lenght atm which SIL wanted to cut off.  NO WAY!!  A simple colour and trim from a GOOD hairdresser is worth it's weight in gold!!  Can't wait till it's long enough to tie back or curl properly in the rain hahaha!  I love how I am so particular about my hair yet spend most of my day windswept and uninteresting walking dogs!!lol.

Run!!! As fast as you can!!

I've got curly hair and you're right when it's dry it's suddenly hideously shorter than before!! I think those of us with long hair treasure it and just hate the thought of it disappearing. Even though it grows back.