I know a lot of you have trouble from your neighbours being loud etc well, I am the one that my neighbours keep complaining about!

I had a BBQ for the royal wedding and my birthday back in April (2 BBQs 2 weeks apart) and things did get a little out of hand. I went to bed at midnight because I was ill and the neighbours rung me to say we needed to turn the music off. We did as it was 4 in the morning.

Because of this I havent had a party or anything since April insisting we go to other peoples houses.

Last night me and my boyfriends mates went out. We returned home at 3am and all crammed in the house. Various blankets were thrown around as they all stopped over on the floor. The only time I had to tell them to be quiet was when one of them went outside for a smoke and one of the others went out to make him jump (I did tell them off because of the neighbours) and then everyone was inside on sofas or floors chatting and laughing. No tv or music was on. It was us purely chatting and laughing.

My neighbour rung my dad to complain about the noise and said we were at it from 12-12.30! There was screaming from inside the house at this point apparently! Funny that none of us were in the house! Grrrrr. Im so mad! They rung my dad at 8.45am! He didnt finish work till 6am! (Hes a taxi driver). The thing that annoys me more is one of the guys and girls went to bed as they had to be up early and she says she didnt hear us?!

Im worried now that any slight noise they will be waiting to pounce and if they report us it will be us that gets the brunt of the trouble even though its been 4 months since we had anyone round. Im so annoyed!

They can't really do anything except make a complaint. They will be told to make a note of when you are making a noise, so you should do so too. Keep a diary. If they wish to formally complain then they should inform the police every time they are disturbed. If it is only happening every now and then they won't have a leg to stand on.If it is happening every night, or even every week at the same time you will be asked to keep it quiet.

Have they ever complained to the police?

No they threatened to call them in April but didnt because we turned everything down. They didnt say anything to us last night so I assumed we hadnt woken them.

Its frustrating because some people struggle with neighbours every weekend blaring their music. We dont even have music on at a weekend generally, it purely is when we have parties. The upsetting thing is my boyfriend wanted a BBQ for his birthday last night (the reason we went out) and I said no because of the neighbours!

Think I may need to throw a new years eve party now! ;-)

the neighbours rung me to say we needed to turn the music off. We did as it was 4 in the morning

I have to say that I would complain if music was still on at 4 in the morning. I was going to a Champ show and had to leave about 5 and neighbours that back on to us had a party and were still going home when I left, shouting and laughing as they left, I was NOT amused. Perhaps if they had not had to complain in April then maybe they wouldn't have complained last night. Four a.m. is excessive in anyones books.

Why not ask them to come to your parties Tracey? :)

I think it's polite to let people know that you are planning a celebration of some sort if you are expecting excess noise. Giving them prior warning and a time when the music will be turned off is easier than having people getting angry, not knowing how long any noise is likely to last.
My neighbours had a bbq the other day and told me beforehand - the music stopped at 11pm which I thought was perfectly fair.

Oldilocks - i did invite them before but they never came.

The issue here is not about warning them we were having a party because we werent. we came in from a night out but they have complained about us having a party when we werent in. there was no music when we got in last night. we all sat in the living room with tea and coffee (rock and roll!!) and chatted about the night. we did laugh as conversation flowed but i couldnt exactly say no laughing cos of the neighbours.

This really depends on how much your neighbours are able to hear.  I live in a victorian property with very thick walls but in the early hours loud talking and laughter will carry and sounds very loud!  Many modern homes are much worse and allow all sounds through to next door.  Don't forget open windows will also allow sound to carry - especially at night.

I used to have a neighbour next door who often came in late with friends and would stay up till 4 or 5 chatting, laughing, screeching etc.  They'd wake me up as the got in at 1 and keep me awake till 4 or 5 :(   Often on a night when I had to be up early the next day :(  

If your neighbours are quiet you may not be aware of how much noise is carrying ;)  And if you've been drinking on a night out you will be unlikely to realise at the time just how noisy you are ;)

Wow, glad I don't live next door to you. I like my sleep!

>Oldilocks - i did invite them before but they never came.<>

Just a thought !  :)

But as I said - this is a one off.

So now I cant laugh in my own home?? Ridiculous!

> But as I said - this is a one off.
>

They don't really know that.  Looking at the April events one was followed by another just 2 weeks later so perhaps they felt they had to nip it in the bud.

April till now is 4 months?? That shows its a one off. They have lived there for 5 years! They know us!

>So now I cant laugh in my own home?? Ridiculous!

It isn't really about that though is it?

It is about impacting on someone-else's life at 4am - something else entirely.  

When my neighbour started it was just one-off occasions, we let it go as it was just a 'one off'.   Then it would be 2 occasions in quick succession, but nothing to complain about as it didn't happen all the time.   Eventually it was VERY LOUD MUSIC in the early hours every weekend.   Then VERY LOUD MUSIC at all times of the day and night and no telling when it would end or even if it would end.  I'm talking music so loud I couldn't hear the phone ring or have a conversation with OH, pictures fell off the walls!  And if we mentioned it we were threatened very aggressively, after all we had never complained before :(  It only stopped when a neighbour a quarter mile away complained to the police

So how do your neighbours know it isn't going to be this?   Had I known how things would go I'd have been far less tolerant at the beginning :(

Posting under the title  "My neighbours really p**s me off!"    doesn't really sound like you understand their point of view, but you feel they should understand yours

I can see both sides...

I live in a Residential Area...semi-rural..1 acre garden for The Dogs and Cats...and 6 acres of Land...you would think it should be paradise...??? Not So....

The Noise Levels from a Working Farm...that rents out Units to a Car Repair/Breaker/paint-spraying/Haulage/Aggregate Commercial Business that Borders My Property is Unbelievable...starting at 4.30 am and sometimes going on till gone 11pm...The Renter and his cronies fire guns...let off fireworks....work Fork-lifts..power wash Haulage Lorries...(With no concrete Base...or containment facilities for silicons..waste oil...hydraulic brake fluids...anti-freeze etc

They Rev Engines to the max...speed down our tiny one track country lane...which is in a conservation area...

I made the mistake of being tolerant and reasonable...but since the Farmer died of Kidney..liver and then brain cancer...and the farm has been left to the wife and the son....it has become Hell on Earth...

Give Me The Music and people laughing...any day of the week..! :)

I can see their side but we went out to a nightclub rather than have a BBQ so they didnt moan. We then come home and were settling down, having a chat and they still moan. We didnt even have any alcohol when we came home or put the TV on. No music, no shouting, no screaming. Just chats and laughter after a good night out.

Whatever you were doing your neighbours were woken up and heard it, so I guess whatever it was, it was too much and too loud at that time of the morning.

Not really because when my neighbours rung me the first time in April I was in bed myself because I was ill and my friends had stayed downstairs. The neighbour rung but I couldnt hear anything in my own home?!? I think shes just a very light sleeper, and theres no way on earth Im going to tell people to stop laughing in my own home.

She was trying to pin the party that was going on 5 doors down onto me but luckily I definately wasnt in and our cctv proves that!

I think shes just a party pooper because when we have any sort of bbq she takes her daughter inside and her daughter sits watching us through the bedroom window. We have bouncy castles and trampolines for my nieces and nephews and play silly games and although ive invited them along shes never let her come. Feel sorry for the kid really.

The neighbour rung but I couldnt hear anything in my own home?!?

But people don't wake up from the same things. I wake up if a dog scratches their bed in the kitchen (I know that means they are awake and will need to go out) but my stepson can continue sleeping with two dogs barking in the same room as him -it has always amazed me but it happens all the time.

Also if you had a window open and your neighbour sleeps with her bedroom window open (which is not unreasonable) then the sound is quite likely to carry easier to her than you with probably two closed doors between you.

TBH I would sympathise more with your neighbour if she posted here with the same post title :-)

I had a BBQ for the royal wedding and my birthday back in April (2 BBQs 2 weeks apart) and things did get a little out of hand. I went to bed at midnight because I was ill and the neighbours rung me to say we needed to turn the music off. We did as it was 4 in the morning.

Purely just reading what you have written in this thread, I am SO glad I don't live next door to you. 

After having put up with noisy aggressive neighbours who eventually took over the whole street - revving cars to the max, music blaring, street BBQs (Yes out in the street!)   in addition to the noise from their homes on a regular basis - and yes, it was parties etc.   I would not tolerate your noise now.    I may have been forgiving once but not any more, been there done that and paid the price, life was hell on earth for about 10 years, I was ready to torch my own home and live in a van.  Maybe this woman is the same?   You don't know what experiences she has had, you are just looking at it from your own point of view and seem to be trying to justify your behaviour by making out she's the bad person.   Yet all she seems to have done is let you know when things have gone too far - and lets face it being woken up at 4am or kept awake until 4am IS too far by anyone's standards :(

So she doesn't come to your BBQs, and she doesn't allow her child to?   She may be intimidated by you and your friends and wouldn't feel very comfortable there?  Maybe she doesn't think there is enough supervision on the Bouncy Castles and trampolines?  especially if people are drinking alcohol.  That doesn't make her a bad person or a party-pooper, it makes her a concerned parent ;)

> We returned home at 3am and all crammed in the house

To me that sounds like you had a fair few people back? If so the noise would carry especially if you're drunk and laughing. I appreciate your neighbour was complaining about a party which wasn't you, but if I were to be woken up at silly o'clock due to this type of noise, I personally would not be too happy about it..

I slept through the hurricane back in 1987, however seagulls squawking will wake me up..We will all wake to different sounds and noises and our level of sleep differs during our sleep pattern. I know most of my family members are very light sleepers and even flushing the toilet will wake them.

Is it more possible you're waking the child up and in turn makes for a grouchy child during the day? I'm just guessing

ETA: I'd never have music on after midnight with neighbours unless they were all around and happy for it to go on later. As for EH, they expect you to have the noise level down by 11pm.

We returned home at 3am and all crammed in the house

To me that sounds like you had a fair few people back

Are you saying that you all just crept silently into the house at 3am? I wouldn't imagine that was the case! So really you had already probably woken them up at 3am and the noise of people talking kept them awake. I know you don't want to hear this but I wouldn't have been livid and therefore would also have made a complaint.

i think sound carries worse at night than through the day as everyday nosies tend to dampen down people talking etc but at night after you have had a few and everyone is talking over everyone else the noise can get very loud,we have neighbours who are on their final warning from enviromental health that live across the road from us we never complained about them not been in this house long enough to have probs with them but 5 of our neighbours got together and reported them for their music which was going on from early morning till late at night 2am etc and the council have served notice on them next incident and the sound system will be removed any noise after the sound system removed will then serve eviction notice on them the council came around and told us all what was happening.
what some people think acceptable is not for others if you start work at 5am each morning you do not want to be woken by noise at all,on the other hand we used to have a neighbour that complained about our dogs barking the day she complained and the council came around we had proof that we where not there as we where at a dog show with 3,000 other people and we had been camping since the friday and not got home till monday afternoon neighbour had said dogs had barked all three days and put down the hours on a sheet the council had given her and when we showed our evidence to the council that we had not been at home she was given the warning off the council and she never said anything to them since.

Hi Tracey123, I have some sympathy for you but your neighbours are not being wholly unreasonable. It is a shame when people can't accept that once in a while a party goes on till very late, and I can also understand that people feel very upset when they can't get to sleep becuase of the noise. If your neighbours asked you to turn the music off at 4am it seems they were definitely doing their best to tolerate it and I daresay if they knew it was your birthday party that followed they might have stretched to a bit more, but it seems like they have been stretched to breaking point with crowds coming in at 3am--no matter how quietly people think they move, once they've had a few drinks they are LOUD.

I have to say that my house is very quiet--much more so than my neighbours, one of whom regularly has his amplifier turned right up for band practice (and his is definitely not what you'd call a singing voice). I've never complained when any of my neighbours have had all nighters--but then I hope they will be just as patient when on the rare occasion I have to leave my dogs at home and they treat my neighbours to the reverberating effects of a welsh male voice choir. Sadly this is rarely the case--I find most people forget their own transgressions in their hurry to point our your own.

In your place I'd be much more p****d off that the neighbours went to my parents to complain--and in your father's place perhaps it would have been more appropriate to remind them that you are the "responsible adult" now and he has nothing to do with your activities. Maybe wait till it cools down a bit, then go over to see your neighbours and explain that while you have no intention of causing problems you understand they have been upset, and see what you can agree is reasonable. I might not mind music till 4am and have often put up with it, but there's not so many of us around :), and for most there's a big difference between home made warbling 60s songs and full on drum and bass coming through the walls. Good luck--but talk to your neighbours, it's all too grim when a third party gets involved.

when we showed our evidence to the council that we had not been at home she was given the warning off the council and she never said anything to them since.

Oh that must have been SO satisfying! I'd have done anything for something like that when we had neighbours that also blatantly lied about when our dogs barked.

Your not getting much sympathy Tracey123 :-)

As someone who has always had parties and BBQ's in my homes I understand your need to socialise and maybe you are feeling penalized by party poopers and feel as though you are under a microscope every time you do have a get together?

That is easy to fix. :-) It's the times that are unreasonable of the few do's you have had, during the daytime people will accept noise and fun, laughing and talking coming over the garden fence, as long as not overly frequent, but when it comes to interrupting sleep that is where you are playing with fire.

You have to be aware that people have children and babies who need sleep, that people who work need their sleep, that old people need their sleep and every single sound carries on a night-time, you can hear people talking and laughing 20 doors down on a night-time, especially after a drink people get louder and louder!!!!, you don't notice if you are there but believe me everyone else does make yourself aware of this and you'll upset no-one.

When I had neighbours my BBQ's and parties would be over by 10pm at the very latest, usually much earlier, I have to admit if I lived next door to you and you had a BBQ going on until 4am, I would be absolutely livid you can't treat your back garden like a nightclub or Glastonbury there are venues you can book if you wish to go on with music especially past 10pm.

Even now living in the country with no close neighbours (apart from New Year) music is always off by 10pm as I know how much sound travels, someone a mile away would hear music and laughter, I know this and wouldn't wish to upset anyone.

You have to think neighbours, you have to be considerate of others. Nothing wrong in having friends and fun but even when coming home especially at 3am be as quiet as possible as you can hear a pin drop on a night-time. In fact if you know the issue is sensitive  if coming home at such times, maybe it would be best to stay at a friends instead, if wishing to still socialise, unless coming in and going straight up to bed?

Time of day/night is very important to how you are viewed by others, if you continue to remember that your home space is shared by other homes and lives too you won't go far wrong. :-)

sorry with your neighbours on this one, people have the right to a good nights sleep, bringing people back at 3am must have made some noise, plus at that time in the morning there is no backgound noise so every small noise seems louder then it would normaly, plus music at 4am just is not on, evan if it was only once.
glad im not your neighbour.

i can understand why ppl get fed up of noise in the night but at the end of the day we all have parties at sum point!!! i have neighbours over the road and they keep me up at least 3  nights a week screaming and shouting at 4am and weve had stand offs with each other in the street, but every now and then i have a party and i just let my neighbors either side of me know so that they cant complain unless things really got out of hand which they tend not too, and now if my neighbours either side have a party they let me know so it works well, some ppl can just be a complete pain, never happy unless there complaining about something!!!! hope it all gets worked out!!!!

Im thinking of having a BBQ on Sunday just to annoy the hell out of them even more! :-)

Mwahahahaha

i can understand why ppl get fed up of noise in the night but at the end of the day we all have parties at sum point!!!

We do???

Maybe i'm reading it wrong but I thought the OP was annoyed not because of the original complaint/s made - she has stated she understands those and has tried to prevent it happening again - but rather that she is annoyed because the neighbours have complained 1) to her father, who it has nothing to do with and who had been at work at the time and 2) about something which could not possibly be her fault because no-one was at home at the time they complained about.

If that's right, then I do have sympathy for the OP - I can understand the complaints about the 4am, quite fair enough, but complaining about noise being made when there is no-one there to make it is a bit OTT!

All I can suggest is that if you will be arriving home very late (or early!) then don't have people round to stay up with - don't give the neighbours a reason to complain.  But I do hope you've pointed out that while yes, you did disturb them on the other occasions, on this one it was not you at fault and that they should have complained to you, not your father!

Thank you Nikita! At last someone who sees it from my point of view.

The boys who came back were so well behaved. I actually feel sad about the whole thing because they really did keep the noise down. They dont live nearby so unfortunately if we do go out they do have to stop over, but this is the first time weve ever gone out together (been with my OH 3 years).

Was it the noise in the house they were annoyed at or perhaps people going outside for a smoke and its that the noise carries more at night? 

If my next door neighbours have people in I  don't hear it and can sleep through it (within reason) but when people go out the back door for a smoke and then bang the patio doors shut it shakes the whole house and wakes me and the dogs up.  It doesn't happen often thanfully but it is sometimes the things you think wouldn't matter that have the biggest impact.

Could they have been woken by car doors slamming when you all arrived home? If they're like me, once woken it can be very difficult to get back to sleep again.

A very thoughtful response- not!! I know we cannot know all the circumstances but when I read your first post I thought " what's she complaining about?" On the information given I feel for the neighbours and I am not someone who has never come in from a night out late, sometimes when we are wide awake we are not realising how much we disturb others. For good neighbour relationship I would be thinking carefully about my actions.

JG - We have a very long drive and live on a B road so slamming of car doors is nothing compared to articulared trucks thundering down. :-D

Ihave neighbours who have bbq's till 4 in the morning and are outside chopping wood and throwing it into chimneas at that time too! They also think they are quiet peaceful neighbours. They don't realise that whilst drunkthey don't talk quietly, they shout and swop stories about their wives labours!!!Fabulous!! Which is why I'm selling up and moving!!

They always pick the warmest weekends,my response to put in a ceiling fan,but it's still too hot at times to shut the windows, and they always pick the weekends I've got group on Sunday mornings. 

I've been round and asked them to be quiet which resulted in my car being broken into and the sat nav stolen. Wonder who did that?

What happens is that every last little noise upsets you,so whilst you may not have been in,someone somewhere was and unfortunately you got blamed. Every last little radio you can hear has to be from the neighbour because you become so sound sensitive and stressed out. Everytime their dog hurls itself against the fence drives you mad!! Everytime I smell ciggie smoke driftingover the 6 foot fence drives me mad and I want to ban it,despite believing in it being a persons personal choice. I just want to kick back at them and I'd say her way is to call your Dad and tell on you. And it worked.

I wouldn't mind my neighbours swopping birth stories if they stopped at say 1am latest,if they chopped wood before 1 am and let chimneas burn down and stopped the kids screeching in the garden before 4 am.Again 1am is fine with me I don't want to be a killjoy but your sure a heck killing my joy at 4 am!!!

I've said it before: the worst word in the English language has to be NEIGHBOUR. I will never have them again! I really feel for everyone who still has them.

When I win the lottery, I'm going to buy myself a nice house with *no neighbours* lol.

how i agree happyhoundgirl!my ex neighbours were a lot like yours,with a constantly barking dog to add to the mix,you do get very sensitive,waiting for the racket to start-i have to admit to even childishly snarling at their car!

Just as a thought, what if it wasnt us that she could hear (as she thought we were at it from 12) what if it was the neighbours down the road? She said we were 'at it' from 12 till 4.30 but actually we didnt go to bed till 5 and we didnt get in till 3 so.......maybe it wasnt us at all??

You mean just coincidence that they complain on the first night there was activity in the early hours since April? :)

I suspect either the hours have got muddled in the telling between them, your father and you or they were so fuddled being woken in the middle of the night that they did not note the hours clearly.

No she definately said it was going on from 12. No mistake about it.

> No she definately said it was going on from 12. No mistake about it.

Coincidence then :).
I know I have occasionally woken up and said to my husband did you hear the noise at such and such a time and he has said no, it was whatever as he had looked at his watch.  It's easy to get it wrong in the middle of the night when you are tired.

At the end of the day, Tracey, you should ask yourself, do I want to get along well with my neighbours?
If the answer is yes I would stop looking for an error on their part, get a small bunch of flowers and get round there with a smile, an apology (bit late maybe but try blaming your father for not telling you sooner) and a promise that you will be sure to stop all outside activity by 11pm in future and if you are coming home later, now you know how the noise can carry, you will be ushering everyone in the house quickly and quietly before shutting all doors and windows that might allow noise in their direction then just get on with enjoying your young life within the confines of consideration for others :)

> xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">At the end of the day, Tracey, you should ask yourself, do I want to get along well with my neighbours?<br />If the answer is yes I would stop looking for an error on their part, get a small bunch of flowers and get round there with a smile, an apology (bit late maybe but try blaming your father for not telling you sooner) and a promise that you will be sure to stop all outside activity by 11pm in future and if you are coming home later, now you know how the noise can carry, you will be ushering everyone in the house quickly and quietly before shutting all doors and windows that might allow noise in their direction then just get on with enjoying your young life within the confines of consideration for others :-)

Nicely put Stooge.  I agree entirely with you!  :)

Im thinking of having a BBQ on Sunday just to annoy the hell out of them even more! :-)

Mwahahahaha

Lovely!  That really shows your attitude to your neighbours :(

And you expect us to understand where YOU'RE coming from?   Reading this is I understand perfectly - You're exactly like my neighbours from hell :(  I feel sorry for your neighbours :(

As far as thundering lorries are concerned, usually the sound builds up gradually as they approach and then go past.   Nothing like car doors slamming at 3 am and people making 'quiet' noise after being at a nightclub.  I've never been to a nightclub where you can actually have a conversation, I've always been half deaf by the time I get home, maybe you weren't as quiet as you thought you were?

Im thinking of having a BBQ on Sunday just to annoy the hell out of them even more!

Enough said, my thoughts precisely Dill.

LOL, you guys cant take a joke.

But then again, if Im going to get blamed why not??

It is my mums birthday and she has said she wants a party.....sooooo it does look like we will be having a few friends over. My parents will be there so we'll see if she complains to them??

Hopefully your parents will be more mature about it.