Hi,
I would really welcome any advice people could offer me on separation anxiety as I have a 6 month old tibetan terrier who suffers from it.  She has had it from day one of getting her from the breeder at 10 weeks old.  Due to her bahaviour I have been advised not to leave her at all, so the last 5 weeks she has literally not been left alone in the house at all.  I don't work so she was never left for long periods, just during school pick up / drop off and a weekly super market shop. When she was left she would howl and bark for the duration without stopping, she would also mess in her crate and would be covered in it when I returned.

So far i have tried leaving radio/tv on, dap spray, herbal calming remedies, leaving her with a stuffed kong and an item of my clothing, picking up my car keys and putting coat on many times a day, going in and out of different doors, leaving her in crate and also out of crate.  I've also tried taking a step away from her and if she doesn't bark praise her and give her a treat and then building up to 2 steps etc, after 5 long weeks the longest she's managed on the odd occassion is 52 seconds.  This is my first dog and am clearly no expert but I don't see 52 seconds in 5 weeks as being brilliant progress and I feel very demoralised by the whole thing.  My aim is not to be able to leave her for 4 hours but as the summer holidays have arrived I would like it if I could take my children out for a couple of hours rather than being stuck at home the whole 6 weeks.

She is such a lovely dog and we all absolutely adore her and in every other respect she is perfect but the fact that she can't be left at all is having a huge impact on our lives as a family and I worry we are all going to start to resent her.  I've already missed sports day, assemblies and the school play as I had nobody to sit with her.

I also worry the older she gets the harder it will be to cure her.

Sorry this message is so long but I just wanted to try and give you as much information as I could.

   

I have a tibetan terrier too - hes ok left with the others but left on his own he isn't happy, and this is fairly typical of the breed.

Does she follow you around the house when you are home, like a shadow?

One of the key things to improving my boys behaviour was to stop rewarding him for doing that, so we now make a point of inviting him - and then he gets rewarded if hes with us (ie, acknowledged, fussed etc) and if NOT invited, utterly ignored.

As well as doing that in a general sense, we also did a few sessions of what I like to call 'taking the mick' - getting up and going from room to room, moving on JUST as the dog settles each time, never actually acknowledging they are there so that following you around becomes a TOTAL faff and very irritating.

Once that occurs, then introduce a reason to choose NOT to follow - this is hard for me in a multidog household, if this is your only dog it is much easier. Give her something she can't cart about with her - ideally, a huge raw meaty bone, go for one considerably bigger than her own head, so that dragging it around after you is not a viable option.

Then repeat the 'taking the mick' process, only this time she should rapidly choose NOT to follow you.

This is the key point really, when they CHOOSE to stay away from you and occupy themselves, you can build on that and work your way up to going out of the house, starting the car engine, etc etc.

Through doing stuff like this, I can now go out, or into my garden and leave our Tibby shut behind a baby gate, and he is still there lying quietly when I return. Previous to this he was a shrieking idiotic mess, chewing the baby gate bars and soaking himself in a pool of his own dribble, such was his hysteria at not being able to follow me.

rocky75,

I'm not sure the advice you have been given in terms of not leaving her at all was helpful- however, you now have a dog who sounds as though she is getting into a tizzy. Separation anxiety can be difficult to manage and requires a very clear graduated approach. If she is getting really wound up you may even need a little pharmaceutical intervention just to take her anxiety levels down so that she can learn that being left alone is not the end of the world. For these reasons I would suggest you have her vet checked and then look for a well qualified behaviourist.

It sounds as though you are doing some of the right things but the inch by inch nature of progress is causing frustration on your part. A good behaviourist will be able to guide you through. They will take the dog's history and build a suitable program just for you and her. Separation anxiety, once it really takes hold, can be a tenacious condition and I urge you to get professional help- all is not lost. As an aside, there is a view that some dogs have a predisposition to this so try not to get too frustrated at not making fast progress.

> I've also tried taking a step away from her and if she doesn't bark praise her and give her a treat and then building up to 2 steps etc, after 5 long weeks the longest she's managed on the odd occassion is 52 seconds.

Do you take her to training classes?  Training a reliable wait or stay is tricky with your first dog as it's as much down to your skill, as it is her ability to understand you.  A good training class would increase your confidence too, and she'll get to see that you aren't the be-all-and-end-all.  Some classes do well supervised swap a dog routines which might also help.  Check the APDT website and go and meet the trainer and watch a class before you decide :)

A really useful book which covers exactly how to achieve the basic commands is The Puppy Primer by Patricia McConnell - you can get it at Amazon and it's simply written with good explanations and exercises to follow.  You could also have a look at her website, I noticed she has a book about separation anxiety called 'I'll be home soon'.  I have a few of her books and find her to be a good example to follow :)

Think training classes would help if only inthe aspect that when you get home she should be too tiredto follow you around. Love the idea ofthe "taking the mick" & the big treat, the treat should help lots but go back and remove from her before she's finished it(provided safe to do so) so that you coming backis almost a nuisance to her and she starts to look forward to you leaving her.

Totally agree that advice to not leave her was totally inappropiate and has left you major issues. Start using a crate and have it in the room with you, get her used to it place big treaty item in there and over several days start to close the door. Leave roomwhen door closed for 2seconds and return let her out nd remove treat. Buildup slowly if she at any point soils herself due to your leaving stop immediately. Switch to tying her to sofa leg and use different treat type to remove all cues and start just sitting in the same room as her and build upthe distance between you before you leave the room. You could do this with the crate even. Slowly slowly buildupthe distance between you and the time, make sure she's comfortable in the crate and make sure she doesn't run out of the treat beforeyou go back and remove it.

Hard work in front of you but you'll get there, I would also be placing her in the crate anytime I thought she looked sleepy so she gets used to settling herself down to sleep and you moving around without her.Make sure she's getting enough exercise as well.

Hi

A huge thank you to all of you for your advice.  I have read through all of your comments and made notes from them.  I am now on first name terms with my butcher who has been stocking me up with big juicy bones.  I have been able to leave her for a total of 3 minutes by herself and even then she didn't bark.  I have also been going from room to room which seems to be getting bored of getting up and following me.  Finally I'm researching some puppy classes I can take her to.
At last I can see light at the end of the tunnel, I just wish I'd emailed you guys months ago!! Thanks again

So glad to read that things are improving, giving her something to do which is of higher value than following you is obviously working.

Have you tried stuffing a Kong and freezing it,it gives them hours of fun trying to lick it clean,I only use black kongs as they are tougher and my lot have never been able to chew bits off as they have with the other colours.

Keep up the good work and keep us posted on progress.

Well done good for you!! Keep it up you'll get there.