I came accross your forum while trying to find out how to help my little dog.

Gemma is a 3 year old, lovely, well mannered, Japanese Chin. She had been used for breeding purposes until the woman who owned her got a divorce and lost her home. Gemma ended up in a shelter, where her right eye ad to be removed due to unknown damage. The woman that was fostering her told me that Gemma was fine with her grown son, but was terrified of her husband.

When I brought Gemma home to my house, my adult son was living with us as he had just had open heart surgery. Gemma was IMMEDIATELY terrified of my son, but fine with my husband.

I thought that with time, Gemma would become accustomed to my son. This hasn't happened. My son lives in the apartment upstairs in our building, and Gemma lives her life in fear that he will come down and visit. Her fear is not just anxiety...its terror. She will run into walls just to run to her little "safe house" if she hears the front door open. she never completely relaxes until: 1. It is night time and my husband and I are getting ready for bed or 2. It is early morning and she knows my son does not come down that early.

When my son is not around, Gemma is a "normal" dog. She is initially a bit shy with new people, but warms up very quickly. My son is the only person that she has this insane fear with.

we have tried: 1. Having my son always give her treats. She will take it from his hand now, but is still terrified of him.

2. Having my son hold her during a movie. She is fine if he is holding her, it is when she turns and sees him that she becomes terrified all over again.

What can I do? I feel terrible for her. If we are all out in the backyard, and my son is present, Gemma will pace at the  back of the yard in fear. If my son is not outside, but has been recently, she will wait and watch for him to come.

Does anyone have any ideas that I could try? I feel just awful for her. We have had her for 7 months now. I love this dog dearly and want to do anything that i can to help her.

Thank you!
Darlene

Poor girl, how lovely that she now has a kind and patient owner to give her a good and safe life!

It sounds like you are doing a good job so far. I would stress the importance of always allowing her to run to her safe place whenever she gets too frightened. Never force contact or interaction between them. If she gets so panicked that you fear for her safety, you should lead her to her bed/crate and let her calm down there. Never make eye contact with her with she is in the 'terror' zone. Never reassure her when she is in the 'terror' zone. Just let her get away and calm down. It is a very good thing that she runs away rather than bark or snap or growl and you want to keep things that way. Any reassurance, like petting or verbal soothing could accidently enforce the fearful reactions.

When possible, try and distract her out of the cycle. Use games to distract her from monitoring your son's whereabouts and to lighten the atmosphere.

When he is near her, ask your son not to make eye contact with her. He should continue to have short and gentle periods of interaction with her as you have described. Also, perhaps there are some games that he could play with her? Play is an excellent way of overcoming fears and relaxing together. Games like fetch or hiding treats under pots etc are great for interaction and boosting the bond between human and dog. They can start off gently and build up the games over time.

The only missing ingredient is time. Give her as much time as she needs. As the weeks and months pass her negative experiences (which from your descriptions relates to the husband in the previous home and have nothing at all to do with your son) will be superceded with positive ones and she will heal, she will feel less fear and learn a new way to behave with him.

One last thought, have you considered if there is something non-personal about him that is triggering this fear reaction, e.g glasses or facial hair? If so you may need to remove the object and think about desensitising her to that object. Perhaps not a tash though ha ha.

Good luck

> Having my son hold her during a movie. She is fine if he is holding her, it is when she turns and sees him that she becomes terrified all over again

Hi and welcome to the forum.
Well done for taking on your little girl. In the main I think you are doing well but I would not have your son hold her at all,she is terrified of him so any contact she has with him has to be on her terms. The giving of treats by your son is a good way to go,either dropping or throwing them to her or sitting on the floor and waiting till she approaches, although time consuming does work. She just needs to feel safe.
Good luck

I think you should obtain the help of a reputable behaviourist from either APBC or COAPE immediately this will need to be done via vet referral to ensure there are no underlying medical conditions which could be contributing to this dog's behaviour.

Good luck

I wonder if there is any similarity between your son and the person that frightened her before.  It probably isn't voice as you say she is fen until she sees him.  Is eh a similar build and size?

There is a product called Zylkene http://www.buyzylkene.co.uk/ (just one of many links from Google) that is used to calm a dog enough fro behavioural modification to work.  A dog that is very stressed cannot learn.

From your post I think you are in USA, so just Google and you should find US suppliers.

Do not use food when a dog is scared, you are reinforcing that state of mind. First she needs to get over the sight of your son and the sound of him but I think if she's anxious throughout the day assomeone has said you need professional help. Long term stress has very negative effects on health. I think you will need something stronger than zylkene to get her over this ifit continues for much longer.

Where its come fromwho knows but don't start reading too much into her past history and labeling it as abuse as I believe it's a learned behaviour pattern, learnt from her first owner. There is no similarity past both being males, the ages were different but she is having the behaviour reinforced. the other give away is that he can hold her!! if she was truely terrified he wouldn't get near her and she'd have bitten him by now!! Another reason not to keep persisiting with that for your son's sake.

I would try calm aid and totally ignoring her completely when she starts, if she starts running aroundthen either you or her leave the room, always have an escape route for her when your son visits but he must ignore her totally. NO food!!!! No Bribes!!! Not till she's calm then a little something extra nice. Get someone in to help though as it needs to be seen.But I also think you feel too sorry for her. And why should you?? You have given her a loving home and all that she needs. Thepast is the exactly that!! Time to move her on!!

I adopted a jack russell cross whippet about three years ago now and she was an absolute windbag when i brought her home. She would not let me or anyone else near her for weeks. If i held my hand out she would just tremble and run off. The break through in trust with her was giving her what she needed, food, water and walks. To begin with i would put her food down but she wouldn't eat until i had walked away. Then over time it just wasn't an issue anymore. Taking her for walks was a challenge too as she had never been for a walk. Her nails were very over grown. The collar supplied was a puppy collar and no lead. In time she new that she had to rely on me for things. How feasible is it to let your son become the feeder and walker and to let you and your husband take a back seat until she is more confident.
My little girl is a darling now and nothing like she was when i first brought her home. I love her to bits and wouldn't change her for the world.
Well done to you and your OH for giving her a second chance.