O.K - This is my first litter,we had 8 and are keeping a girl.
We have a breed that do working tests and are lucky that 6 will be going to homes of people we know - phew - however the 8th needs to go to a 'Newbie' - so straight away I felt like this little girl was getting the 'roguh deal' although I know we all start somewhere so I was open minded.
Had a couple round to be interviewed after answering all my email questionaires - whole family came including 9 yr old son to meet our bigger guys.I was straight away not keen on the son,he was very spoilt and annoying,but was OK with all the dogs,though a little nervous (but mine are in excess of 80 kilo's so understandable) Parents were lovely,had fostered guide dogs before (although when they recalled this to the son he didnt seem to remember which I thought odd?).
They left and we were happy with them.Did home check,all ok,they came again to visit the pups now 5 weeks old,and my biggest boy had not been bathed ( so they can see what a smelly dirty dog is like) so i did the usual @ oh,sorry,they smell@ - dad said 'Ohh yes' and turned his nose up! then,when Minnie (pups mum) tried to lick his face he wouldnt let her as she smelt of pee 9from cleaning her pups ) - now,don't get me wrong,I don't really want her licking my face when she smells of pee - but if I were after a pup from someone she could lick me all over - I'd take it.It made me wonder if he dosent want her licking him in front of me,what will he not want his pup doing when at home??
The spoilt child was worse this time,made some comments to my children (11 and 13) that when the pup is older if it gets in his way he will punch it! now,i have kids,i know they show off,but my children would not have been allowed to get away with this,nor would they ever dream of saying it! he was also dancing around the place saying he needed to be free - parents were asking him to behave but he didnt listen.
So,Mum was lovely,but others i was unsure of,am I being picky because this is the only home I don't know ? or would this be enough to put you off?

i think it would put me off.  Maybe talk to the mum about what 'brat' said and see what her reaction is and ask what will happen to dog when mucky as hubby wasn't keen on the smell.

On this forum the words " gut instinct" are commonly used in relation to screening new puppy owners....for good reason.

Learning the hard way, most of us have learned to listen to this instinct and when we are unsure ...we dont sell.

Yes,thats what i keep thinking,its only that the first time we were happy and gut feeling was ok,i was really not expecting to feel how i felt the second time :-(

HI piratebear, NO, most definately not. You are not being picky, you are going by your gut instincts. When l was vetting potential owners, l always wanted to see ALL of the members of the household - especially the children in the family. My criteria was, if they cannot control their own children, how on earth are they going to be able to control a dog! I knew that if they had a puppy, within a short period of time, they would have another little hooligan running around. As for the Father, well, he's not stacking up very well either. Dogs and smells are all part of the package in my opinion LOL. 

> i was really not expecting to feel how i felt the second time :-(

That's because they're a bit more relaxed the second time and forget to be on best behaviour.

Sorry, showing off or not, I wouldnt sell them a goldfish, have to agree, if the child cant behave when out let alone at home then theres not just going to be a naughty child in the family :( Dogs want to please and if this pup cant please the Father because he smells and cant give 'kisses' and he gets in the sons way fearing a punch and the Mum gets on edge trying to sort everyone then the pup needs to be with another family...yup...gut instinct needs to win, no debate!

Same here, would be horrified if any 9 year old said in my hearing that they would kick a dog if it misbehaved, would not let any of my dogs within a mile of the little so-and-so!!! Dad not wanting pee-covered kisses wouldn't bother me, but no way should that kid be allowed near an animal.

If your not sure dont do it you,ll only worry

I have to agree with the others and turn this family down for one of your pups.

It doesn't sound like they are all whole heartedly into having this pup if the child is talking about hurting it when he is bored with it and the father doesn't like smells and doggy kisses, they need to think again about their commitment to your pup for the next 10+ yrs.

Good Luck discussing this with them.

We insist that all family members, especially the children, come for a visit prior to them being accepted for one of our pups. I like them to stay for a couple of hours so that I can watch and observe how they interact with the puppies and adult animals. Plus listen to what they are saying and more important what they are not saying by their body language

I have turned down more people because of the way they react to my adult dogs, their behaviour whilst in my house and the behaviour of their children than I can remember.

If you now feel that you might not be happy with certain members of the family, then don't sell them the puppy, as you'll only fret and worry about how it's getting on.

I have turned down more people because of the way they react to my adult dogs, their behaviour whilst in my house and the behaviour of their children than I can remember.

So did l.

So far I have turned down three people who enquired about my pups, it didn't even get to the come and meet the gang stage.  Their emails were enough for me to think no way !!  Trust your gut instinct.

Go with your gut instinct, if you have doubts now then what about at a later stage when something happens, you will be kicking yourself that you didn't listen to your concerns. We should have a good relationship with our pups owners for their lifetime and beyond, that's a long time to be gritting your teeth :)

I wouldn't bother with this family you will always be wondering what is going on.

Go with your gut instinct every time.  If you don't you will always regret it.

A breeder of GSD's asked my vet about refusing a pup to someone, and he said, I have a breeder who does it without blinking.

He was exaggerating about me, but I stand by my opinion that it's my prerogative.  On the odd occasion that I've felt uncomfortable about refusing, I have gotten over it very quickly, and I've never worried about my decision.

I went with my gut instinct 2 yrs ago and again this year..lovely people at first 2yrs ago..2nd visit something just didnt sit right, nothing I could put my finger on at first..they talked about 1yr old grandson being very rough and liked to pick his cat up by the ears and how the pup would have to get used to being picked up by him etc etc!!!..NOPE..so pup didnt go there. This year single mum came recommended by friend who got pup 2yrs ago...2 children aged 7 and 5, OMG..they fought over the pups like they were toys and she just sat there and said nothing..I told her there and then that she wasnt getting a pup of mine when her children were using them as tug toys...2 weeks later she got  a 7wk Bischon and her kids fight over him like a toy.

Dont feel guilty about saying no..I dont and I would do it again without a thought.

I cant believe how strong gut instincts can be. Had an email enquiry from a lady (she finished her 1st email with how much are they), very pushy, but replied to every question i had and was incredibly pushy and wanted to come and see the puppies. All the time i had a funny feeling but thought i would give her the benifit of the doubt as things dont always come across the right way in writing. As they came in the house and saw mum, her 1st words were "so is that how big it will grow", now i dont have children but i imagine the way i felt was how a mother feels if her child is referred to as "it". Then there was the look on the husbands face....... I invited them into my living room and basically gave them the grilling of their life (my mind was already made up before this that they were not getting one of my pups) and asked what the problem was as the husband/dad had a look of his face to turn milk sour, the responce was that he isn't that keen on getting a dog ........... BYE BYE!!!!

Hi Piratebear, I had one little girl left to be rehomed and a couple had been emailing me,they sounded perfect so we arranged a visit.
When they turned up she seemed keen but a little nervous around the other dogs that are all just wanting a pet.
They were in for a while when she said he was not keen on the breed and wanted another breed but was just letting her get
her own way for an easy life,he did not seem interested in any of our dogs and inside I was thinking NO WAY.
When I had first enquired about them working etc she said she only worked for four hours three days a week and was taking time off to be with pup for first three weeks
then her mum would help out but that appeared to have changed to she now worked three full days and her mum could MAYBE help out a bit.At one point one of the pups came out on to the paper and done a poo and she looked horrified and said the thought of picking it up made her feel sick AAAHHH. I sent them packing at that point and thought well if she needs to stay here forever she will.
I got another call from a lovely couple with five kids which worried me,they already had two dogs same breed but aged 5 and 3.
They all came along and all I can say is although she had five kids they were a credit to her very well mannered not at all phased
by pee,poo,smelly dogs handled them with confidence and I could tell they doted on their dogs.
They were so gentle they all adored animals and were so excited at the thought of a new addition.
Mum is home all day and although it is a busy household I just knew there and then I would let them have her as they were
united as a family mum,dad and kids all wanted her,so the perfect owner will come along.xx Go with your instinct.x x x

I dunno, if I went on gut instinct, I would need a bigger house.  No-one is ever 'right' for your babies.
I asked people not to let my girl lick their faces as she eats poo and pee all day.  While most of the puppy buyers hadn't thought of this, I certainly had, and didn't like her licking mine so the guys reaction seems OK.
But....that kid!!!!No way.  I have a 10, 8, 6 and 2 yr old and they all came with us when we got our last girl.  OK, so it was someone I knew but still my kids need to behave in an appropriate manner in someone elses home.  My son would've got a good telling for behaving like that but I can assure you, as bad as my kids get, they have never threatened to punch a dog.  Each other maybe but never an animal!!  They are taught animals are like babies.  You can't physically punish animals as they don't understand and just don't like you any longer.  I love how my kids are with our animals, just like another sister or brother!
Could the parents just have been excited about the pup that they didn't really see what the boy was doing?  Or did he have their full attention?

It was tough,I fely wicked - but I said no.I was not keen on the boy the first few times and then i spoke to people at our training group who said when they visited there the boy was told off by them several times for mis handling the dogs and the parents did nothing - so that was enough for me! she now hates my guts - do I care?no , just feel wicked for leading her in,though no deposit was taken and she did know it would be a few visits and home check etc before i chose

Good for you. I hope an A* owner come along very soon.

Don't feel bad for 'leading them on' - they knew it was a visit to see how you all got on and whether you thought they were right for a puppy. I had a lovely couple with my first litter, made it very clear it was not a given that they were getting the puppy, and that several people were interested, eventually decided against them because they were moving to New York in the next year, and they turned really nasty and had a right go via email saying I had led them on and changed my mind, which I had not.

OTOH what someone else said about the hubby not being keen made me remember my friend who bred Henry, my husband sat there a bit like that when we went to visit the puppies, if he'd come alone he would not have got one because he was too shy to talk much, and didn't want to act too keen about the puppies because I had gone totally gooey and on puppy madness overload with them all, but because I was so keen she let us have one and I hope she didn't regret it! (apart from his superb show results, haha) Now we are hopefully getting a 4th soon, he still isn't at all keen but I do all the care of them. So if the wife was going to be the primary dog looker after it's not necessarily bad if the husband was less keen, but you do of course have to go with your instincts and I think my friend was quite brave to let the pair of us have one, although it did work out!

Thought I would update on this thread a few years down the line!

I am still in contact with the original family, who a day after me saying no went and got a pup of the same breed that was readily available on the internet.

I am pleased ( for the dogs sake) to say they have made excellent owners to the dog they got - It would seem my instinct was very much wrong!

The lady is more forgiving than me as we see them at working events and are FB friends and she is always nice and chatty - A bigger person than I would have been!

I guess its all down to fate - the dog she got was clearly the one fate intended her to have !

You are right in being selective in who can buy your pups though, I take rescues of your breed - the ones that owners can't be bothered with usually, they all come with behaviour or  health problems, the reasons given by the owners for parting with them are very often not the true story, but they all turn out to be loving gorgeous dogs. The rescue organisations can only pass on information regarding the dog that they have been given by the owners and of course nobody admits they are just plain sick of having big, dirty, smelly, drooling dogs around. You have to be dedicated to the dogs to cope with the various health problems encountered, and if an owner doesn't have that dedication to a pup then they certainly won't have it when things go wrong. If all breeders were as discerning as you are then of course I wouldn't experience the joy of these rescue dogs but maybe that would be no bad thing.

The son would put me off, but the husband probably not, sounding like a dinosaur here, :-) but for all of the equality among s*xes , often men still don't like the messy, stinky bit with animals and children, especially with an animal that he has not bonded with and does not think of as his, so I would forgive that. :-) he didn't want pee breathe and that was that, who really would? The female species are much better at acting (I think we are better at it and more tolerant ;-) ) so would put up with it to impress you as you know you would. :-D

The child is another thing completely, I would use that comment alone about punching the dog as a reason, along with the fact that he does not do as he is told and I would be worried he would tease the pup.

It's a shame for the mother as she is probably the one who really wants the dog and would be the full time carer, but another worry is if she cannot control her son and does not have either an air of authority or some other parental ability her son adheres to, how will she be with a big strong dog that may wish to do its' own thing too? IME if the children are good and happy a dog will be too, a spoilt child = a spoilt dog. (Unless he is ADHD which can't be helped.)

Food for thought......... but, just always go with your instincts and don't be afraid to voice them. :-)

Completely agree with you Carrington, I would have turned them down too. You can't see what goes on behind closed doors and who wants the worry of that for the rest of that dog's life?