A depressing thought, but at what point in your companions life would you make the decision to put him/her to sleep?
Would old age make you do it, serious incurable illness, poor quality of life...what???

We put our 13 year old cocker to sleep last year due to being deaf, dumb, blind, and voiceless, and that was a very hard decision for us to make. He lost all his faculties when he was 9 but we kept him anyway because (emotionally) we just couldn't bring ourselves to let him go. The last 4 years of his life were basically spent wandering up and down the hallway, bumping into things, and having a series of accidents. Looking back on it all now i wish we would've put him to sleep sooner because he must've had a really crappy life.
We're going to have to make the decision again soon, in the next 2-3 years, because another one of our older dogs is heading down a rocky road. His pads are knackered so he can't really go for any walks without his feet hurting, he's got so many food allergies that we're struggling to give him something nutritious, and his life revloves around being indoors all the time and just lying on his bed sleeping. Physically he's starting to look quite bad now too. His face is drawn and sunken and he's lost a massive amount of weight since being neutered. He's broken all of his teeth from chewing rocks and he's got a repetitive "gooey eye" condition. It pains me to look at him these days and i don't think he's happy being alive anymore. He always looks so bored and miserable and its making me feel bad about myself.

So what about you lot?, when would "you" call it a day and do what you thinks best for your dog?
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A decision that one day we will also have to make and have asked good friends and professionals who have an input to one day tell me if I am pretending to ignore his situation!
A degree of pain that can't be controlled, whether he can still walk (never am I going to have a trolley basset), the look in his eyes and fundamentally his quality of life.

for me it is a case of knowing my dog and knowing when I have to make the hardest desicion that anyone will ever have to make, and also better a day early than a day too late. as people we are in a very privildged place that we have the choice to release out pets. with people we cant they must suffer to the end. this in my opinion is not fair.

Ok, I am being 100% totally sincere.

To say that you are thinking of making this decision in the next couple of years, I find hard to handle. 

> It pains me to look at him these days and i don't think he's happy being alive

Your answer is here, staring you in the face.

You have to love them enough to let them go. 

> Looking back on it all now i wish we would've put him to sleep sooner because he must've had a really crappy life.

This is so sad that it has made me cry.

When you love them enough to let them go,, you make the pain yours - which is as it should be.

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> i don't think he's happy being alive anymore

I think you've said it yourself really when you mention  "poor quality of life..."

I'm afraid I wouldn't keep one going for  "the next 2-3 years" if it was in that state.

It's our very sad duty as responsible animal keepers to take that decision and let them go.

Sorry you've got to go through it with your old boy.

I think if you read your post again as if reading it as though from another poster, you would agree that you are going to have to make this decision much sooner - if he's as bad as you say and you're struggling to feed him, he is slowly starving to death - not a nice way to go.  I personally would take him back to your vet and get their advice - whether there are most tests/medication he can have or ask how long they think he should be allowed to continue.  When my old girl was slowing right down, I asked my vet to give me his honest opinion as to when we should call it a day - they know we all hate making this decision but if your vet knows he can give an honest opinion, then hopefully they can guide you through this tough time.  With her, we just knew when she was ready to to and I have never said, I wish we'd done it xx weeks/months previously.  She was happy, pain free and ate well until the final morning - I think in our hearts we all know when to make the call, it's just doing it!

As hard as it is to make the decision, you have to be sure, that 6 months, a year down the line you hadn't wished you'd done it sooner to save them suffering.

I'm sure everyone will sympathise with your situation, but the dogs quality of a pain free life is paramount in any decision.

Sorry to be so blunt but, from what you say about your dog's poor quality of life, I would say that the time has come to let him go.  You have to ask yourself what are you keeping him going for ?  More boring, miserable days ? 
I know it's hard to say goodbye but sometimes there's just no other option.

Poor Boy... its such a personal/individual decision to make though and its not easy....

You don't say how old he is or what you have already tried by way of alleviating the problems with his pads and his feet hurting him..?? Can't be much fun to do anything much at all if your feet are hurting all the time...?? (Nor your teeth...?? :( )

With all of my animals I tend to look at the holistic way to improve quality of life first.....but I do start this from day one. So I would maybe offer Raw food/a species appropriate diet...as a way to promote healing and health. I would consult with a Homeopathic/Holistic Vet and discuss alternative medicine taking into account all previous history from my conventional vet just to see if there is a "Whole Dog" approach for him...??

Then if I felt in my heart that I've explored all of this....I would wait for them to let me know. As long as my elderly animals are enjoying the simple pleasures of life and have dignity....as long as they are enjoying their food...able to go outside and enjoy the sunshine....even if all they want to do is doze in their favourite places. As long as they are able to enjoy doing their own thing...and I feel they are still enjoying my interaction with them....simple things like still enjoying a stroke or a brush. As long as I can still see pleasure in their eyes...then all is well. Once these simple pleasures and dignities fade.....then I would know its time to let go....(if they haven't already let go themselves in the meantime) If it came to that then I would arrange a Home Visit from my vet so he/she could go to sleep for the last time....at Home with me....in familiar surroundings....but again thats a personal choice

I can understand your current dilemma...because you already feel that in the case of your 13 year old cocker you didn't free him soon enough. Either way it hurts and my thoughts are with you and your boy...

I'm so glad you posted this, FreedomOfspirit,  as it has put my mind at ease. I've been going round in circles for the past 2 or 3 weeks trying to decide whether or not its time for my poor old boy.

He's almost 15 & has arthritis in his elbows & can hardly walk. The vet has said that if the current treatment doesn't work then I really should think about saying goodbye. His back legs are also very weak & he has ccd. He wakes up about 5 in the morning & then barks every half hour or so to be let out but when you open the door he's forgotten that he wanted to go out. He does the same in the evening.

Having said all that, he IS happy. He can't go out for a walk but occasionally he will insist so we just wander up the road & back which seems to please him even if he struggles. He gets very excited when he sees me first thing in the morning, to the point that I have to hold on to him to stop him falling over (he's a springer so he's very enthusiastic even now!) & he still lives to eat. I think he is still enjoying life to the best of his ability & I think that you have persuaded me that its not time yet even though the treatment hasn't worked. Thank you.

I had to make this decision about 10 days ago, it broke my heart, but I did it because my Mishka had lost her quality of life and her face told me she was ready to go. I would have loved to have her around for another year or two, but it would have been an ordeal for her and my love for her made me make the choice to let her go with dignity. I know that she is at peace, without pain, and it is just me suffering now at her loss.
She went downhill quite quickly over a few days, her legs gave up even though her brain was bright and she still got excited at the sight of her lead, but spending all day and night on her bed and struggling to get outside to wee, not being able to wander round the garden or even get up for food is not a good life and I felt it was cruel to allow it to continue. I know I made the right choice for her and know without a doubt that I will see her again when my time comes. I still tell her several times a day that I love her and know she hears me and is waiting for me.

Ahhhh i totally agree with you Jean,
its made me tearful reading this post but op i think i would have to let this dog go now as sad and painful as it maybe to let your pet go, i think the pain of watching them deteriorate like this is by far worse,
my heart goes out to the OP , 

I'm so glad you posted this, FreedomOfspirit,  as it has put my mind at ease. I've been going round in circles for the past 2 or 3 weeks trying to decide whether or not its time for my poor old boy.

The following...if you have a few minutes to read through...is a view of old age that I really like and do my best to aspire to for my own elderly ladies and gents.....

A lovely old Border Collie was brought in to see me a few months ago. He had a bit of a problem with his skin, which his human companion wished to see cured. Bruce waddled into the consulting room with that air of authority and confidence that only a senior canine citizen can exude. He carefully and slowly creaked to a sitting position and looked up at me for some sort of approbation. Of course, he received that, in spades. He was a fine, dignified, cheeky old fellow and endeared himself to me straight away.
"Bit creaky?" says I. The lady who had brought him in clearly doted on him and said, ruefully, "what else can we expect at his age?"
This brief interchange, under the scrutiny of this wonderful old dog, summed up for me so much that is wrong in our culture. What is this disease called 'old age'? Age is an accident of time and has NOTHING to do with disease. Only if we are not in balance, does our in-built 'health system' deteriorate as we age. There is absolutely no rule that says we have to suffer disease more, as we grow older. There is no rule that says we cannot die healthy, when our time runs out, when we reach the end of our rope. There is, of course, a natural ageing process of degeneration but this should not cause significant malfunction.

Extract taken from here...  http://www.alternativevet.org/WS025-07.pdf

> When you love them enough to let them go,, you make the pain yours - which is as it should be.
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I have done just that this morning!!!  For the fourth time in 12 months.

I know my dogs inside out and i know when 'that time' is here, after keeping him happy for months with cancer, last night was his first 'Bad night' first time he has vomited or looked unhappy. I sat up through the night with him, nursing him, cleaning him and telling how much i loved him, then first thing this morning we made our journey.........excruciatingly painful for me but 100% right for him...though it never feels 'right', one bad night is no way going to be repeated so i let him go and i am devastated...crying as i type....but it was my last and final gift to my very precious boy.

It's never about age but quality of life.  Better a day too early than a day too late is what most caring owners believe.

If you are thinking it is time, then it is, put your dog first and your feelings second this time.

MandyC, My emotions are still raw after going through this a few days ago, so my heart goes out to you, and I really do know what you are going through. My tears still flow for the slightest thing, so I send you lots of hugs and maybe your boy and my girl will run freely together on that beautiful bridge, happy without pain, knowing they were both so loved.

Oh Mandy, I knew about your boy, and I feel your pain.  I am so very sorry.

But, I have to say - I am glad that you loved him enough.

Big Hugs  {{{{  HUGS  }}}

Jean

Freedomofspirit I think your beautiful words have convinced the OP to wait and keep her old dog going

I think he is still enjoying life to the best of his ability & I think that you have persuaded me that its not time yet even though the treatment hasn't worked. Thank you


But when you read the OPs original words, are you sure that this is such a kind thing to do

Physically he's starting to look quite bad now too. His face is drawn and sunken and he's lost a massive amount of weight since being neutered. He's broken all of his teeth from chewing rocks and he's got a repetitive "gooey eye" condition. It pains me to look at him these days and i don't think he's happy being alive anymore. He always looks so bored and miserable and its making me feel bad about myself.

I know this is a decision that the owner alone can decide and it's their choice, but I do not think that I could allow a beloved dog to continue in this state.

Its such a hard decision to make - I had my old Black Labrador (Drake) put to sleep in 1993 when he was 14 - he was born with hip problems but had a really good life and was such a gentleman.   I got up one morning and he could not get up and his face looked so sad - there was no dilemma for us - and it breaks my heart to this day but I know it was the best thing for him.  I brought him home from the vets and we buried him in the back garden of my Parent's house - when I go back to visit now with my Bedlington - he lies in the shade in the exact spot where Drake is buried !!  I will never forget him and although we know at some point there will be a painful and upsetting time it would not stop me having pets.  Think about their quality of life and make the right decision for your furry friends.

Love and hugs to everyone who has lost a furry friend

AJ

Hi sillysue. I thought I'd just point out that I think you have confused 2 seperate posts. HT isn't the one with the drawn, sunken face, he's the happy one with the bad legs!

Just a quick update on HT - although he is quite bad on his legs, the Aktivait does seem to have improved his dementia so the barkiing session starts a little later now & doesn't go on for so long which is a relief to us all. The vet says he is happy for him to continue for a little longer & we are going to review the situation again next week. Hopefully I will have convinced the rest of the family that we really do have to start thinking about this as they think that I am being horrible to even contemplate it when he seems so happy. As I said, he is still eating & seems happy enough to just plod around the house & garden & welcome all the doggy visitors we have. Ultimatley though, the legs are going to let him down & they do seem to be getting progressively worse.

To the original OP, I know what you are going through & I hope you have managed to decide what to do. It is so hard to make that final decision.

I think there is a distinction between the elderly....the chronically and incurably ill....and the sometimes sudden shocking events that almost seem to take that decision right out of our hands. There is very often no line in the sand...and it will be as individual and as personal to each owner....as each animal is an individual in their own right.... 

Many years ago one of my 9 year old cats was plucked off a wall by two unmuzzled greyhounds...and virtually pulled apart in front of my eyes. When the owner managed to get them off her...she ran into a neighbouring garden and it was her lifelong companion....my 10 year old tom cat....who found her for me.....cowering in the bushes. The vet told me that her intestines had been perforated and no guarantee that surgery would save her. I let her go on the vets table rather than have her face any more pain. A few days later my 10 year old cat passed away too of unknown causes. In life they had been like bookends....mirroring each other in so many ways....and although doubly heartbroken I could understand his reasons for going with her. In trying to get justice for her I found out very quickly that cats have even less rights in law than dogs....and the best I could manage...with pressure from myself and other people in the village was that the owner had to muzzle his dogs when out walking. 

My 17 year old cat (the oldest animal here at present) shows no signs of having had enough yet. She swirls around my legs in the morning to remind me to put her saucer of squirty cream down....one of my Collies patiently "stands guard" over her to make sure none of the other Collies disturb her....and then promptly cleans the saucer when she's finished (presumably to save me from having to wash up..? :) ) The two of them can often be found curled up on a blanket together in the kitchen.... and when the dogs have wild rabbit...my 17 year old cat waits patiently for a bit of meat and bone to be left and then tucks in next to a dog that could no doubt eat her for breakfast if she wanted to. I realise that this could all change in the blink of an eye....this afternoon....tomorrow morning....next week....next year....but for me its a matter of her maintaining her dignity. Apart from Homeopathic Remedies to keep her mobile I do nothing else except continue to enjoy her company as I have done over the last 17 years....and I absolutely trust her to let me know when she's had enough. 

In the elderly I have seen remarkable mobility improvements with Bioflow collars.....I wear a Bioflow bracelet at all times myself as I didn't want to take the painkillers I was given when I put my own back out 6 years ago.

With the elderly and maybe in the case of the lady who has asked the question....I feel there is a little time for her to prepare herself emotionally.....a little time to consider whether she wants the vet to come to her or whether to make an appointmet at the vets....a little time to plan a final resting place and choose flowers.....a little time to set a day aside for pampering and saying a million Thankyous to a beloved dog who has touched her life...a little time to share last precious moments......and then meet the day head on....whether thats tomorrow....or next week...or next month...

The experiences I have had over the years lead me to believe that some animals have a "soul contract" between each other.....so it is easy for me to believe also.....that we as people have "soul contracts" with the animals that come into our life....and touch our hearts in such profound ways.

And thereby easy to believe....like so many....that our loved ones absolutely will be waiting at Rainbow Bridge for us when our time comes.... and we can once again continue our journies together with them all.....

    

Many thanks for all the replies folks, i am glad some of you said what you did.
I'll have to be honest now though because this post wasn't really started for "me". I posted this question because i wanted my "other half" to read other dog lovers replies about what "doing the right thing for your dog" actually means.
If this was just my decision i would've taken him to the vets about 6 months ago and done the poor lad a favour, but my wife is not an easy person to talk to when it comes to making hard unpleasant decisions. Maybe she will open her eyes a bit when i show her some of the replies across this, and other, forums.

As for the dog, he's only 8, but he's a shadow of his former self these days. I wouldn't exactly call hm a "sick/seriously ill" dog just yet, but its quite obvious to anyone who looks at him that he's heading down that road now. He's still reasonably fit, and strong, and bounces around the house like a nutter when we play with him.
He could probably go another 2-3 years (or more) before "the rot" really starts to kick in, but personally, i dont think its fair to wait for it to happen before we finally make the decision. He's had a good life, but he's not got one anymore, and its only going to get worse as time goes on. I'd rather put him to sleep "now" and save him further suffering than drag things out till the very last second.

Am i bad for thinking this way? This is a very difficult situation for me.

Thank you that was lovely.

Am i bad for thinking this way?

No, you're not bad for thinking this way - you have your dog's best interests at heart which, to me, is a sign of a caring, responsible owner.

Am i bad for thinking this way? This is a very difficult situation for me.

Our dogs are our responsibility and sadly making difficult decisions is a part of that responsibility. Making - and acting upon -the decision to release a dog from a life with no quality to it is the final act of love and kindness that we can give to our dogs. It's a terrible decision for us but not one that can be avoided if we truly care for our dogs and put their needs before our own. I only wish that we could afford that level of kindness to our human loved ones who have reached that stage but have no alternative than to struggle on existing in a life that just perpetuates their pain.

Hi sillysue. I thought I'd just point out that I think you have confused 2 seperate posts. HT isn't the one with the drawn, sunken face, he's the happy one with the bad legs!


Sorry for that - I must lay off the booze it makes me go cross eyed !!!!!

I only wish that we could afford that level of kindness to our human loved ones who have reached that stage but have no alternative than to struggle on existing in a life that just perpetuates their pain.

I agree with you totally Harley, it is the most awful thing to see loved ones suffering when we can't do anything about it , but all the time wishing we could :(

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> Am i bad for thinking this way? This is a very difficult situation for me

No, you are not bad.  And yes, it is always difficult - for all of us.

> I'd rather put him to sleep "now" and save him further suffering than drag things out till the very last second.

I totally agree, and you need to show your wife why we have to love them enough, instead of being selfish, and having them suffer.

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No not bad at all.
We have to be cruel to ourselves to be kind to our animals.
My oldest is almost 10, a lovely natured JR, I know that some day in the future we will have to make a decision if she becomes ill etc and life and medication is unacceptable for her. She is one of the nicest, most loving dogs Ive ever owned and I dread that day...but I will make it for her sake not mine.
Thankfully shes as fit as fiddle and enjoys life completely as does our younger 3yr old girl...our 8wk old pup certainly keeps them on their toes;)

Hi

In the last month we had to make this decision with my best friend in he world. She started getting symptoms in October 2010 which were mild the vet was useless and we changed vets the new one started a whole barrage of testing but finally came to the conclusion it was terminal. By that point it was Feb 2011 and the wonderful happy dog I knew could hardly get up and her skin was in a terrible state. Once I had the phone call on the Thursday I booked the appointment for the next day; my Hubby wanted to have the weekend with her but I looked into her eyes and knew she wanted to be pain free. The next day we took her to the park for the last time. When it was time to go she actually got up and walked to the truck and got in herself something she hadn't managed to do without help for weeks it was like she was saying OK Mum its time. I am actually crying as I type this.

You will know when its time. You should be able to look into your friends eyes and see when they have had enough. Ask a vet for advice but your doog will let you know and its your job as an owner to listen to what your dog is telling you. No matter how hard it was I knew I couldn't prolong my dogs life even those few days so I could be with her - do I regret it in some ways yes but I remember that was my final job for her I gave her release from pain.

Love
Kath x

The way we look at it is... we have a very proud breed of dog and once they have lost any form of dignity that is when the decision has to be made, I know our oldest boy has only a year or so left in him as his legs are going to go eventually (he is only 5- 6) , we have discussed as a family that the day he doesn't want to go for walks anymore is the right time.

My mum couldn't let go of our Cane Corso last year, in the end I got the train home from uni and with my younger sister instilled the reality of the situation some days she would play like a little puppy yet others couldn't get out of bed, combined with her incontinence and fitting it was time. Unfortunately mum rightly or wrongly was emotionally blinded it took quite a bit to point it out but eventually the right thing was done. Now nearly a year later she took one look at our boy and hugged me and my sister and said thankyou for what we did for amber and said she would never let it go on for so long ever again.

With the date set for Amber they had 3 days to say their good bye's, my sister took her to her favorite lake where she could have a swim, dad spent one afternoon with the window wound down in the car so that she could stick her head out and have the wind flap her face (she looooved this), and went for a picnic sharing sandwiches and a very naughty ice cream on the beach.