When we got back from our short break last weekend she told us she'd been to the doctor with a stomach pain and has been probably diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. It has already spread to the liver and the lymph glands so the outlook is not good at all. She has to see a specialist to confirm the diagnosis next Tuesday and to see whether it is worth trying chemo. Otherwise I don't know what happens, I guess it's just a matter of pain management and presumably weeks / months is all she will have. She's only 64. I am so scared!

Oh sweetheart.  I can completely empathise :(

3 months after my family and I emigrated to Oz, my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer (6 months after her own sister had just recovered from it).  Mum went through chemo and radiotherapy after a lumpectomy to remove the affected area on the breast.  It had also affected 24 out of 36 lymph nodes too which were also removed.
All was going as reasonably well as expected until July last year when we sadly found out it had spread to her brain.
She has been having herceptin treatments and also taking steroids since then.
We have now just found out that the area of the brain affected has grown and there are more cancerous cells in the brain too.  So next step is a two week course of tablet form chemotherapy.
I'm going back to the UK next week to have a visit with Mum.
My Mum is 55.
I can't give any advice other than to try and stay strong for your Mum (believe me I know how hard this can be).
I wish you and your Mum all the very very best, and hope that the treatment will take hold and kick the cancers bum.
With love
Tracey xx

Oh Lucy I am so sorry to hear this news. Your Mum must be feeling very worried too. No words can make you feel better just now. Mums are just always there aren't they? We never imagin what life would be like otherwise. You both need help and support now for each other and for yourselves. Think possitive and see what next week brings. You are allowed to be scared, to scream and shout and rant. Have you a cose friend or OH to lean on? My heart is with you and your Mum. I will hope for the best possible outcome for you both. Take care
Thinking of you
Aileen

Tracy - I've sent you a PM x

Lucy I am so sorry -and your mum is so young. I have no advice or experience but am keeping everything crossed here. HUGS.

Lucy, I am so sorry for you and your mum :( There are support groups out there - try Googling, MacMillan Cancer Support is good - and these may help answer some of your questions.

Daisy

Oh my darlin, I am so sorry for your news - my mum got the same thing and it was a hgue shock to all of us.

But - although it did ultimately beat her - she was originally told she only had 3 months, and fought it for nearly another 18.  She only went really downhill in the last month or so too, so she had a lot of great quality time to get out there and do stuff, go to Italy etc.

So sorry to hear this :-( x

So sorry to hear about your Mum. xx

Soo sorry to hear your news x

So sorry you are scared.
Please just keep coming and unloading here......Most of have tales to tell and shared experiences so doknow how to empathise.

Karen :)

Words seem so empty at a time like this and I would not want to give you false hope but try and focus on the positive stories from those that have experienced this. A member of the family had cancer and we were told it would be quick BUT they had good quality of life for 18 months and as their ending drew near we had great support from McMillan etc.

There is so much research being done and whilst I don't reccomend looking up too much on the internet you could find a good support group.

I don't know what type of relationship you have with your Mum but I would personally make every day count, do whacky things you both wanted to do and make sure you record it all on the camera so in the future you can look back and smile.

Here is the place to offload and get support, thinking of you all. 

Thinking of you and your Mum at this worrying time (((((hugs)))))

So sorry to hear your news. As someone else said, make every day count, try to be positive and keep your chin up, you know there are people who beat this so stay as positive as you can. Keeping everything crossed in the meantime.

Thanks everyone. I have a really close relationship with Mum, we're more like best friends, and the thought of being without her is unbearable. :-( She really wanted to see the northern lights, so I'm GLAD we didn't see them on the holiday we've just got back from in Finland. Depending on what the specialist says and what timeframe and state of health we have to work with, my sister and I are going to try to take her on a short break to try and see them (easier than her other unfulfilled holiday wishes of the Taj Mahal and the Grand Canyon!!!). She loathes pictures of her being taken so I doubt I'll get much on camera if we do go, but I will always remember her.

How sad, hopefully your Mum will be able to visit the Northern lights, my Mum died very suddenly, and I miss her everyday, and never saying goodbye is the hard bit to live with.

So sorry to hear your news ((())

Lucy, I am so sorry to hear this sad news.  I am thinking of you and your family. x

Sending positive thoughts for you and your Mum.

LucyDogs, I'm so sorry to hear this, hoping that the specialist and support nurses can take some of the uncertainty fear away so that you can keep strong x

Fingers crossed for you and your Mum Lucy. :)

Thinking of you {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

LucyDogs. I am so very sorry for you all, all I can say is be strong make the most of every day. Everyone is different but having been through something similar, try and talk about things I do believe it helps. Thinking of you and your family. Best wishes, Lacy

I am so sorry to hear about your mum...

so so sorry,as others have said,keep your chin up but get support,you need to let your feeling and emotions out,do lots of special things together,a friend of mines mum had cancer,she had it on and off for 20 yes 20 years,i took my hat off to her,never give up,also,research as much as you can on treatments,if your dear dear mum has crictical illness insurance,go get it and use it for what she wants and needs(sorry if this is out of place)
god bless
jo

Our mum's are so special to us, my eyes fill up at the very thought of something like this, I would be scared too, we are all here for you.

Thinking of you and my thoughts are with your mum too, make every day count. ((hug))

I'm so sorry. My mum is very special to me too and I can only imagine how you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you and your mum xxx

Lucy and Tracey I am sorry to hear about your  Mum's. {{{hugs}}}
My Mum is poorly too, it is our turn to be brave and keep smiling now x

So very sorry to hear your very sad news Lucy. Like others on here I too can sympathise with how you are feeling at this time having lost my mum to the dreaded C many years ago. Just spend as much time with your lovely Mum as you can she will be worried about herself , you and the rest of your family .You may not feel it now  but we all  do have an inner strength to get us through these dark times in our lives. My thoughts are with you , your Mum and family.

Roni x

Im sorry,  my mum died 10 years ago with bone cancer aged three weeks after her 68th birthday, its hard without a mum.

I'm so sorry.
Wishing you the strength you need to get through this dreadfull time.

I am so sorry Lucy, my Mum died aged 52 after a very short illness. There was no time to prepare or say good bye.
The one thing i would have liked to say was 'thankyou'. Thank you for a wonderful childhood and for being a fantastic Mum.
My one wish would be that  she had lived long enough to meet her grand children .

XXX

So sorry to hear this.  My mum's fighting cancer at the moment, but thankfully her outlook is much better.

Rely on the social services at the cancer hospital.  All that I can say is that the one for my mum has been brilliant, she's really nice and phones often for a chat etc.

Oh Lucy i am so sorry to hear that..my thoughts are with you  xx

Very sorry ((hugs))

Im so sorry its a bad cancer and I can sympathise having lost my own Mum & Col's Mum with cancer. You have to be strong, Mum is going to need all your help and the prognosis whilst poor  there is still time and you can build some good memories whilst you have time.

There isnt a great deal to say really I hope that you can get support from your GP and specialist, she is very young isnt she which would suggest you are as well.

I hope someone else has some more ideas I would just like to send all best wishes to you and Mum
Viv
X

I'm in my 30s, and I know many people lose parents younger, but somehow when I think about not having her there, I feel about 5! Also if I'm honest, my Dad is 15 years older than my Mum, and I guess I always thought I would lose him first. Also I just found out a friend has it, though at least it's treatable in that case, but it's yet another bad thing happening with my friends and family. :-(

However old we are (I lost my dad when I was 29 - he lost both his parents when he was 13) we're always children inside when it comes to our parents. They've always been there, and to think of a world without them is scary. Part of ourselves - the child that was daddy's/mummy's girl - dies too. And it hurts. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. :-(

You've said it perfectly JG - mums are 'supposed' to always be there for you, and the thought that she won't be is unbearable, even though intellectually I knew it would happen some day!

Losing a beloved parent is like the rock you stand on turning to quicksand; you're terrified and angry and feel lost and betrayed. If you need a shoulder, or an ear to vent into, then please don't hesitate to PM me. I'm a good listener, and I never blab.

Thanks - I'm more terrified than angry at the moment, but mostly I'm going for the 'head in the sand' approach and shoving all thoughts about it into a locked compartment in my mind. It's the only way I can cope with being without Henry who I lost in June, is to avoid thinking about it, so it'll be the same with my mum I should think!

I've just been looking at your video of your lovely boy Henry, what a sturdy little character he seems! Love your photos of the Lake District walks and can't wait to take my guys up High Street now that they are all old enough to do big walks!

I do hope you  and your mum have all the help and support you need xxx

LucyDogs, I just wish that I could give you a big hug....it isn't fair that you have to go through this!  I think that you will deal with it in your own way, we always seem to get strength from somewhere at times like that! x

Thanks Jay - yes he was a wonderful dog - ready and up for anything, but so beautiful and gentle too. He was my once in a lifetime dog and I can still hardly bear to let myself think about how I'll never be able to cuddle him again.

It is diffecult I was lucky really and had Mum until I was 49, I was born when she was 19!!!
Dad is still going strong at 80!

Plan things day by day like your trip to Finland, getting through the chemo or radiotheraphy, and have little treats, a pamper day. It will make it all the more bearable with small things to look forward to.

Cancer is beatable, it isnt so scarey anymore, its the unknown (I found was scarey) but when I klnew what was coming and how I could deal with it and help Mum & Col's Mum I felt better. I compartmentalised it, you have to to be able to function. Do your best, have good memories and know that she will know how much loved she is and all be strong for each other.

Its tough but we are all here to lend an ear!! dog peeps are great peeps.

Love to you and your Mum
Viv
X

Update - the specialist has scheduled a CT scan and shunt to remove a blockage in the liver and that will make her feel better. When the scan results come through they will know what drugs and chemo are best to use. The timescale could be anything between 6 weeks and 2 years, so I guess 1 year is about average. It could have been worse, they might have decided it wasn't worth even trying chemo to shrink and slow things down. But the thought that in a year's time she will quite probably not be here anymore is terribly upsetting. I guess you're never really ready to do without your mum!

Thanks to all for your support.

Fingers crossed for you xxx

Fingers crossed X it is tough but you will become stronger when you have to.

> The timescale could be anything between 6 weeks and 2 years, so I guess 1 year is about average

Lucy the timescales are just an estimate based on the known facts. My husband was given a life expectancy of just 9 months and he lived nearly seven years more than the original life expectancy given.

Thinking of you and your family.

Hope things go well and you get as much time with your mum as possible.

Lucy x