Any advice please guys:(  As you know my girl had 10 puppies 22/12, all of the litter are spoken for so no advertising.  People have been on my waiting list since spring last year, and all have been vetted.  One lady in particular we have grown very fond of, she has made several trips to meet us before Wilow had her pups.  She explained that she could not pick her pup at 5 wks of age as she was going away for 3 weeks and could she come pick her boy at 3 weeks of age, this I agreed to.  Now this is where the problem lies and IS ENTIRELY MY FAULT, before she viewed the pups we did tell her that there was one little boy who was extra special to us as he was the smallest, wouldnt take bottle so it was always battle to get him to the teat first, also he has show potential, the others have mismarked coats.  The lady is question did say pull him out before she viewed, but we didnt (stupidly thought fate would kick in) you guessed it she picked him!!  We were ok with that as he will be going to a good home after all.

As the weeks have gone on, I feel I cannot part with him:( not just because he is a beautiful specimen of the breed, he is just so endeering, so I phoned the lady and explained that we feel we could not part with him, also explained that I would intime if he continues to develop would like to show him, and that would she consider the other little boy she liked, very similar to my fav baby, but he has a tiny white dot on his back, I did say that we felt she had not really bonded with him as she spent only 1 hour or so with him; at which point she burst into tears and said i gave you the oppertunity of pulling him out, which she did and I agreed with her, (also at the time she insisted on paying the full amount for him), all of which I agreed with her and apologised, but she made me feel so bad I back-tracked, she also sais she would intime like to show him (never mentioned that before), what should I do, give in and honour my agreement, (I do hate to be the cause of upset) or do I say if you are not happy with the other little boy, I can refund your money and put you onto another lady I know has a litter.

I realise that I am to blame and in no way is it her fault, BUT whilst I am considering her feeling, she really isnt considering ours either especially as we have had reared these babies, bonded, worried so much, and then to see them flourish into healthy happy little beings:(

Why would you allow anyone to choose their puppy at 3 weeks?  They're hardly walking and how could you or she possibly know the pups personality?  Surely more important than the look when they're all the same colour with slightly different markings?
And if you were going to keep one to show, you can't possibly know which one is best before 6-8 weeks, although if there is only one correctly marked in a litter of mismarks, then it may not be a good choice to show anyway.
I'm sorry but the whole situation was so avoidable and doesn't make any sense. :(

I don't think I have much sympathy for you :(

The time to have said something was when she picked your boy.  Then you should have said 'whoops, I forgot to say - he's already taken'.  But instead you allowed her to think she could have him and weeks went by.  Those were weeks during which she was imagining and thinking of this pup she had picked and looking forward to him coming home.  She has created, in her mind, an attachment to this puppy - that is great.

>whilst I am considering her feeling, she really isnt considering ours either especially as we have had reared these babies, bonded, worried so much, and then to see them flourish into healthy happy little beings:(

In what way are you considering her feelings?  You haven't been straight with her at all, but have let her pick a puppy which wasn't really available, then you didn't tell her immediately that he wasn't available, and when you did tell her, you hoped she would be ok with it!

It's not up to her to consider your feelings - she is there to purchase a puppy, not to provide you with emotional support! 

I'd say you are very lucky if she wants to show him and your best bet is to encourage and support her to do that by fostering a good relationship between you.  Of course, legally, being the breeder you own the puppies and you can do anything you like.  Perhaps there is something to learn from here about how better to do it next time?  Like not allowing people to pick specific puppies that early.  Or coming to an agreement that if someone can't pick a pup at the age you'd like, that you will assign them one.

I think that folk say they are going to show to get a 'better' pup & have no intention of showing(from experience).
I am assuming you had the litter to keep one & you SHOULD keep the one YOU want/best one. If the others are mismarked & this is in your opinion is the best..there should be no amount of money on him leaving, even if the home is good. This lady has 9 others to choose from & at the time of picking I personally would have said 'no thats the one I'm keeping' & that would have been that!!
I would tell her that the pup is staying and she was told at the time & to pick another..if she is fine with this you will know it is a good home, if she is not then was she really the right person to start with!

I tell people what order they are in picking, but no-one gets to pick until the litter are assessable at over 6 weeks.

They may express a preference, but nothing is certain until I and the people ahead of them have chosen theirs.

Oh dear - what a sorry situation. Obviously you have now learned a hard lesson about letting people pick puppies. I don't let people pick until after I have made my final decision but I do let them give me an order of preference after they've visited when the pups are at least six weeks old.

I don't know what the legal position is since you have actually entered into a contract with this woman since she has already paid for this particular puppy. You may need to seek advice on this or perhaps someone with legal knowledge will come on. I never take deposits.

To be brutal, if you were hoping to breed on from the puppy you keep, perhaps you would be better off not keeping a puppy from this litter if all the other pups were mismarked? But I admit to knowing nothing at all about your breed.

Taking deposits is always a grey area as you have committed to a contract, paying in full IMO unless there is a really good reason for back tracking like they are unsuitable in some way, is a done deal. The pup is now the property of the lady!

I generally always back the breeder, it's the breeders pup and ultimate decision, however, you have played a heartless game with this lady, you brought her to tears and she did nothing to deserve it. IMO you've been totally unprepared and unprofessional, legally the pup is now hers and in this case morally I feel it is too.

Sorry, not what you want to hear I know, but hopefully you will learn from this. :-)

I have a breed that has exceptionally small litters 1-3 pups is usual.  So I have had 2 litters close together a couple of times, to give me more choice (for me.)

I once had a lady come who was given the choice of 3 pups.  She pointed to a pup that she liked, and offered me something for him (as if she was at an auction house!) 

I explained once more that the choice was between the 3 already pointed out.  It is perfectly usual for several dogs to be in the room as it gives people the opportunity to see the nature of my dogs.  After spending an hour looking at the 3 available pups, it was more than obvious that she only wanted the boy that I was keeping.  I would not back down, and she did not have a pup.

The first choice is always the breeders.  I don't know the answer to how you will resolve your problem.  As you have already pointed out - you know that you have made a mistake.  I would hate to be in the situation myself, but I guess I would keep whatever I wanted.

I was in the same position recently but common sense prevailed as I cannot keep males but...I would've let down the puppy owner if I had been able to keep that boy.  It's your pup, it's your litter, it's your choice.  I agree that you should've kept him separate but where you letting fate decide? Either way, I would tell this lady that she could have one of the others or a full refund but she was not getting the dog she 'provisionally' booked.  Who picks a pup at 3 weeks properly anyway?  You could tell her that he doesn't have the personality for her household and would she maybe prefer another pup?  It's not like you are not offering her another of the same sex.  And what is it with new owners 'bonding'?  Try hand rearing a pup that you've allready given mouth-to-mouth too and then we'll take about bonding!!

  It's your pup, it's your litter, it's your choice.

afraid not, legally the pup is hers as you took the full amount for him. i just hope she doesnt take you to court

It's your pup, it's your litter, it's your choice.
Not true I'm afraid when the new owner has paid for him in full.

It's interesting that there are so many people who allow dogs to be picked.  Both the dogs I've had since puppies have been "assigned" to me by the breeder who understood my requirements and who best knew the litter they had lived with and raised for weeks.  I felt very confident of relying on the breeder's "assignment" of puppy and will be doing the same thing this coming year with our litter - there'll be no picking going on - pups will be assigned by temperament and personality tests to the owners they will make the best fit with.

I do exactly that rabid.  Occasionally I might say, this one or that one would be suitable for your family but that's the extent of the choice.  Having spent 12 hours a day for the previous 8 weeks watching the litter, it's normally "This is the puppy that's right for your family"

Ten puppies and nine mismarks? Seems somewhat bad luck doesn't it? Yet the one the lady could have instead has "a tiny spot on its back" -well I breed dogs with white markings and know full well that most small white spots disappear with age, so why can't the OP keep that one for showing? Sold is sold.

As for allowing people to pick a puppy -I agree in many instances it is best to steer buyers towards a particular pup that suits their circumstances, but there isn't always just one that suits them in a big litter, and if a pup is wanted for showing a lot more than temperament comes into it. Hence when possible I allow people to pick even if I when deemed suitable tell them one particular pup would be a good choice for them -they almost always go for that one then. But I would NEVER let anyone pick before 5-6 weeks, would never allow anyone to pick before I had made my choice, and would always remove my pup and any others booked from the room. I also always remove the sex they don't want.

i to explan to new familys that i will help pick a pup that best suits ther lifestile, and 9 times out of 10 the familys are very happy with that.

what a mess your in now! :( i hope you get it sorted soon
xxxx

She explained that she could not pick her pup at 5 wks of age as she was going away for 3 weeks and could she come pick her boy at 3 weeks of age, this I agreed to.

The breeder should always get first pick.
Every breeder I have ever been to has picked for me based on the sex/colour I want and what I want it for. They have also always told me that they may well pick to keep my pup along with others from the litter. I always agree to this as the breeder is the one that has the sleepless nights and hard work.

Sadly it could have been fixed along time ago when she came to view, could you not get her back for a second viewing as she may well like a different one now they have all grown up more and so on?

Maybe her taste has changed...At 3 weeks its hard to tell if a pup will be show quality or not as you dont know how they will grow, they are just little balls at that age.

Good luck.

Thanks for your opinions, to clarify, this lady was first on my list to pick a puppy, and she had explained to me the reasons why she was unable to pick her boy at 5 weeks (she will not be coming back until 19th feb when he will be ready for his new home.  Yes I have learnt a very hard lesson, this little boy was and still is very special,its not just about his looks, and one point we thought he was fading, and we were there round the clock for him as well as the others.  I shall of course let her have him and indeed said the very same on the phone.  It hurts, but thats the price I have to pay for not thinking things through properly:(

Once again thank you for you honesty.x

Good luck K9OURS :(

When I have had families visit to look at puppies, I have always stressed that I have first choice and always say to them to pick the 2 that appeal to them the most, so that means if the one I want is one they have picked they usually have their other choice.  

It hurts, but thats the price I have to pay for not thinking things through properly:(

I feel for you, it's a great shame, if only you hadn't taken the money for the pup and in effect sold him. I know now you have learnt the best way to designate pups. A litter and their personalities develop over those crucial weeks and having a pup that has struggled always makes us breeders look upon them as our special one, but sometimes it's just our hearts clouding the issue, he may not be the best prospect for you in the end.

You know there is a small chance that when she comes to collect she may feel great sympathy for you and really like the other pup too, but the pup is going to a good home, possibly to be shown so a good relationship is paramount with the new owner.

These things have a way of working out, please just never take full payment again unless you are 100% sure.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}

I think that folk say they are going to show to get a 'better' pup

I did the opposite. I got my youngest from a breeder who is internationally known and asked whether it would be a problem if he wasn't shown--I had no experience of showing and wasn't considering it. I am enormously grateful to the breeder for his reply, to the effect that the puppy was certainly good enough to show, but first and last what mattered to him was that the puppy was going to a loving home. We started going to shows last year, my boy has the temperament for the ring and my ambition now is to live up to my dog.

Maybe when she comes to collect and see how the puppies have developed from her last litter she will prefere another.  A hard lesson you have learned I feel for you (())