Our Paddy passed away during the night in his little flat where I helped him find some dignty in his life,my husband visited him this morning,the police had just arrived,I went to see him immeadiatly my poor lonely brother,please say a prayer for him.

RIP Paddy I always loved you and always willxxx

Sheila

Oh Sheila, I'm not sure the right words to offer you comfort, but he obviously knew how much you cared for him.

I hope you're ok and know that he's at peace.

Simone

I am so sorry for your loss, never easy.

Sheila. A dreadful time for you and your family. May you remember the good times and your brother be at peace.

I'm really sorry. I lost my own brother years ago, also tragic circumstances.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
xx

I am so very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and courage at this sad and difficult time.

I am so sorry Sheila.

I am hurting so much for him,his last few days on the whisky finally got him,I knew this day would come,it is a dreadful lonely illness,he drank alone and died alone,his life was wasted.

Sheila

So very sorry for your loss.

{{{{  HUGS  }}}}

So sorry.............. it is an illness to be a drinker.
None of us can judge, sometimes we should think that 'there but for the grace of God' goes any one of us.

The joy of this CD forum is we are among folk who feel for each other.
My love to you.
Karen

So sorry that you have lost your brother you obviously did everything you could
RIP Paddy

Thinking of you tonight and hoping one day soon you'll find a better day when you can remember your brother as he was before he began drinking. So sorry for your loss Annabella x

Oh Annabella - I do wish I could find words to make everything better - but I can't.   You have gone through so much hurt and feel that your brother's life was a wasted life.   But it wasn't - not completely - he had you, who loved him.   The love that you gave could not be wasted.   And now he is at peace.  I pray that you too will find the peace that your love deserves.  {{hugs}}

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

Margot x

I'm so sorry to read this... sending good wishes and condolences to you and your family, and peace for your brother.

Lindsay
xxx

So sorry for your loss Sheila, but I am glad that your brother had someone to care about him. May he rest in peace now, and as Lokis Mum said I hope you can find the peace your love deserves.

So sorry for your loss, take solace in knowing you were a good loving sister to your brother. It's a shame when a life is not lived the way it should or could be the sadness is in what could have been. But you need not dwell on that any more,  he is now at peace. He'll always be in your heart. So sorry. xx

I cant stop crying for him,he was so kind to me when i was a little girl,the rest of the family had turned there back on him,he was so very hurt and I know he felt ashamed of his condition,to see him lieing on the floor has destroyed me.

Sheila

to see him lieing on the floor has destroyed me.

I think that image of someone we love would destroy anyone, it's a terrible memory, after the funeral try really hard to fill your memory of him with the good times like your childhood and I'm sure others even with his 'illness' find a picture of him smiling and happy that's what you need to remember, if we are to believe in heaven then that is the brother he will revert to anyway. :-)

You will always have a sadness for your brother but we can choose the memories we hold the strongest, not now as you are too heartbroken, {{hug}} but later, remember him for the person behind the alcohol, and it will bring you some peace too.

Sheila, I hope that your bad memories will fade in time to leave just the good memories you have of your brother from when you were a little girl.  I am so sorry for you, it is awful for you to have to go through this!

Sheila things will get better for you but it takes time. I lost my OH nearly 3 years ago to a wicked and cruel disease. It was heartbreaking to see such a strong, fit man turn into a shadow of his former self, unable to do anything for himself, weak, helpless and totally dependent on others for his every need. I can still see him as he was at the end and it is not the way I want to remember him - but other images of him are still there and gradually they are coming more to the fore and the sad, desperate images are receding into the background. I don't think they will ever disappear but then I suppose that time was also a part of his, and our, life and as such will always remain with us but those images also help to highlight the good times we had together and somehow make them seem even more special.

At some point the same should happen for you - the good times are remembered more than the bad times and what made him special to you will always be there, it's just some days it's hidden behind a cloud, not gone just out of sight for a wee while.

No life is ever a wasted one - you loved him and he loved you and that in itself makes it special. We don't all lead the lives we would wish to live but giving and receiving love is an important part of everyone's life and something you shared with your brother and he with you.

Crying for him is a mark of respect and shows just how much you cared.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Sheila, I am so sorry to hear this... he is at peace now, his demons banished

Sleep well Paddy.

So sorry to read about your loss.

RIP Paddy

So sorry Sheila xx

i am so sorry,my thoughts are with you,its so hard for you now,but paddy is at peace now.I will pray for you both,god bless.

I am so sorry for your loss Shelia. You obviously had a strong bond with your brother, however lonely he felt, he would have known that his dear sister didn't turn her back on him.

Alcoholism is a terrible illness, it is so easy for people to sit in judgement and be ashamed of alcoholic relatives and friends, but maybe we should all think there but for the grace of God go I.

My friend and neighbour is a retired Vicar, over the bitterly cold weather we have recently experienced, each night he took himself, blankets and hot flasks into the park where a few alcoholics congregate and sleep. You helped save your brother from sleeping on park benches in the freezing weather.

His pain and anguish is ove. You were a good sister and I hope that once your grieving is over, you will see that you didn't let him down and draw some comfort from this.

so very sorry for your loss.

my brother has still not had postmortem,this is because I pressume of christmas,bank hols,I am feeling very upset as it is now 5 days and I need to lay him to rest,why is such a immportant service stopped because of public holidays,we pay our taxes,there must be many grieving people in my position today.

Sheila

Shelia, I do feel for you. My mum in law died on 2nd Jan, the earliest we can hold her funeral ( in Surrey) is 25th; this is so unfair on the family. It is simply down to the time of year I'm afraid. Hers was a straightforward case an no pm required.
Please take strength from all the encouraging messages that have been on here and I hope you find peace of mind in the future.
Hugs.

Not quite the same but I lost my brother age 19 to a motorbike accident, we had to wait for a post mortum, its diffecult because you feel you cant move on. Im so sorry, you will remember the good times and I hope that you can see that Paddy is fine now, he's past all his pain and you need to think about you. If in your heart you know you did the best you could for him, and Im sure you did, then think about you now and take care.

Viv
X

I feel relief,pm done,he died of a heart condition,funeral arranged but due to back log it will only be in two weeks,

Sheila

Good, relief is good now try and relax and you will find things come to mind of happier times. We are (1977) a long was away from when Martin died but I see him in my son's and I have a laugh now and again at things we did as kids. Living is tough after a berevment but i try to think that the deceased is in a better place and past all cares, it helped me.

Viv
X

Thank you all for the support you have given me,I went to the doctors today and he has given me a sick note for 3 weeks.I havent been well,this has taken a lot out of me,our local priest came to see me and is calling again this week.

Thanks again.
Sheila xx

When my son died (age 25, perfectly healthy. They decided it was SADS the adult version of cot death) I thought that I would never recover. But I have, life goes on because of my daughter, my grandchildren and my dogs.
In time you remember the good times and the hurt fades away, it will never completely go, but it becomes bearable.

Keep strong and look for the light at the end of the tunnel, it will be there