I have always tried to help people. It can bite you in the bum afterwards (not often) but one thing tonight has made me think.
I help because I have no other motive but I want to as don't like seeing people or animals suffer.
I think also asking people as well to help now as I know another person on CD will be bitter sweet because of it.
I think that after I go to bed after I sleep on this I may think again about helping.
Just interested if you have done things that you wished you had not got involved with ?

Don't change Lucy, you are a 'Gem'! x

I try to guard against getting cynical as for me it shouts that I am getting old (!!!) but I think I know how you feel.  I have so many times offered to help out others because I imagine they share my views and morals.  Life is teaching me never to assume this.  I'm learning now not to rush into situations blindly and to have a thorough knowledge of fact before committing to something.

Basically, I'm getting fussier who I share me with - not because I think I'm anything special but because I'm now less naive.

Don't change, it's unfortunately rare to come across people who do things to help - without there being an agenda. I have done the same and found myself in deep ****,  OH tells me I'm too trusting but don't know if I want to be cynical or anything else. 
Some years ago a very good friend and I had spent months & months organising and preparing to start our own business. Advertising, registration, and much else and then two weeks before we start she tells me she can't do it - I could deal with that - but not the fact that she then just disappeared! Now some nine years later she has returned to the island to live and work, but has yet to contact us. I only want to know what happened, is that too much to ask.
I do try and be more wary but having worked in Care/Hospitality it must be in my nature to help and assist, I just get a little tired of the presumption that 'Lacy' will do it. But then I would prefer to be a 'giver' than a 'taker' .

I've no idea what's happened/happening Lucy, but hope you're ok? I know you've done a great deal to help a mutual friend, friends in fact, and I admire the way you are always willing to do so. If one person has taken advantage of that then shame on them :-(

Having slept on it I would do it again but would have do things differently. So true you learn by ones mistakes ! I will still have faith that the situation will resolve itself with anymore hurt for all concerned.

Just interested if you have done things that you wished you had not got involved with ?

All the time Lucy, whatever has happened and is making you contemplate things all I can say is be true to yourself. :-)

I went through a phase where I dug my heals in and decided I would only be helpful to those who I thought would do the same for me because I got fed up of being let down by people who don't have the same heart. Other people won't put themselves out for you, your animals etc or make sacrifices to help, often your stood alone with a mess to sort out, it's a nasty lesson.

Unfortunately, many people can't be trusted as far as you can spit and are all about themselves.

Even though I'm more picky about what I'll get involved in and who I'll help out, if you naturally have a good heart then you feel mean and cruel not being helpful and that makes you miserable and gives you a conscience, not a good thing to carry around. Other people don't have that conscience which is upsetting, but no point in fighting your own nature/character, if your a good person then that's what and who you are. :-)

Don't worry about the rest of the world, just be yourself. It's all any of us can do.

Personal integrity is what will make you do it again and again.

If you have a strong sense of what's right, you wont be able to go against your instincts.

Ive long since given up on expecting or hopeing for any real 'fairness' in relationships with my fellow humans, I now just try to accept them for what they are, flawed mortals -just like me.

> flawed mortals -just like me.

Flawed but wise ;-)

Chin up Lucy :-) I only know of some of the things you have done to help others and am sure there are many, many more times you have put yourself out for others - because it's who you are and because you care :-) I don't think we can change who we are but do believe it is possible to alter the way we think at times but, knowing you, the next time someone needs some help you will be the first one to step up and be there whatever the cost to you.

I am a great believer in paying things forward - maybe one of your acts of kindness will also be paid on forward and you will have helped not only the original recipient of your help but also those further down the line. Not everyone will pass kindness forwards but a good many do - and hopefully you will receive help from others if and when you need it.

Don't change Lucy - the world would be a sadder place if you did.

I know exactly where you are coming from Lucy - and I too feel as you do.  

As Harley says, we cannot change who we are - and neither can the people we try and help change who they are - all we can do is to grow thicker skins :(

What does hurt is when others who do not know the whole story sit in judgement.

>Don't change Lucy - the world would be a sadder place if you did.

Amen to that!

Lucy, it is a privilege to know you...you are one of life's good'uns.  I know who I'd want in my corner if the chips were down and I know who I could rely on in an emergency ;-)  You've proven that time and time again.  I know you're feeling frustrated and angry at the moment but don't let it get you down or feel that you should change...you're pretty damned special just as you are kid.

I don't know what has happened but........ditto what ShaynLola, Lokis Mum and Harley have said.  As I have already said....."Don't change Lucy, you are a Gem!!  :)

> Lucy, it is a privilege to know you...you are one of life's good'uns. I know who I'd want in my corner if the chips were down and I know who I could rely on in an emergency ..you're pretty damned special just as you are kid.

:-) agree completely

Margot I agree to most of what you say but I always try and better myself as if I think I have done something wrong then I will analyse it and try and learn from it. I have also learnt alot more about respecting other peoples feelings after an event last year about this time of year. I have a lot more understanding about how your actions can affect people and I will try to make sure that never happens again . I just wish other people could as well but do know human nature stands in the way.

My head is held high as you will do and the other people involved.

We will continue doing it I have no doubt. What I didn't want was any praise as I wanted to vent and hope that there were more people like us that do rather than sit on the fence for an easy life or are maybe scared to do anything ?

I don't know what has happened but I always help where I can but have been stung majorly for it in the past. I always say I won't help again but do anyway as that's the person I am. lost friends for something's I have done to help. no idea why but they felt they couldn't talk to me about it which hurts but still wouldn't change what I did when I did it I will always help where I can as so many people benefit,  and you should do what you feel is right.  Xx